Cancer Club. . .

General discussions of interest to readers and fans of Harlan Ellison.

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Steve Evil
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Cancer Club. . .

Postby Steve Evil » Tue Mar 25, 2008 2:52 pm

This was not a club I wanted to join, but when the fuck do I get my way?

It's my Dad. Prostate cancer. He dropped that announcement casually, like tooth decay or kidney stones, when I was on my way out the door for work.

Apparently its treatable. Apparently if he does nothing there's a twenty five percent chance he could die in ten years. So it could be worse.

But. . .

It's cancer.

Dad's the most important figure in my life. He's always been the central figure in my life. I'm not married, I don't have a career yet. I can't live without him, not yet. He's my hero, my mentor, my best friend. I'm not ready to go it alone. He's gotta be there when I do all that life shit. I gotta get his approval. I'm not ready to look after Mom, or the little guys. I'm not a tenth the man he is, not yet. He's not even old yet. He's been so healthy, he could go on for a long time still, like his father did.

My God, I can lose anything else and go on. But not him. Jesus God, anything but him. Take whatever you want ye vengenful one. But not him, oh Lord not him.

Now I gotta go to work and face dozens of screaming six year olds. Their parents are comming for a presentation today. I need to focus. Fuck, I gotta get back to work.

What a lousy god damned month its been.

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Postby Moderator » Tue Mar 25, 2008 3:20 pm

Steve -
This has been a shit year. I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. He's right, however, that prostate cancer is one of the most treatable and slowest growing -- but it's cancer, and that sucks.

Best of luck in his battle, and hopefully many years from now you'll be still be updating us on his status.

Steve B
- I love to find adventure. All I need is a change of clothes, my Nikon, an open mind and a strong cup of coffee.

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Postby Duane » Tue Mar 25, 2008 3:34 pm

Amen, brother. Take care.

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Postby sjarrett » Tue Mar 25, 2008 4:50 pm


I know the path you're walking all too well, as so many others do, even among our relatively small circle here at Webderland. My Dad and his urologist battled both prostate cancer and recurring malignant bladder tumors for 30-plus years, and that was beginning three decades ago when the medical knowledge was far less advanced than now. So unless it's progressed pretty far before being caught the chances are that you're looking at having your Dad around for a substantial piece of time yet. Even so, I know that it's scary news to process. We'll all have our fingers crossed for you, and when you need to vent, we'll be here -- all of us in the club.

Steve J.

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Postby FrankChurch » Tue Mar 25, 2008 5:27 pm

You know you are my best buddy, so nothing but sympathy for your father. With the medical system as good as it is he should make out fine.

All I can say is we are all with you buddy.

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Lori Koonce
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Postby Lori Koonce » Tue Mar 25, 2008 5:36 pm


My positive thoughts are with you and your family at this rather stressfull time.

But, Barber is right. It is one of the most treatable forms of cancer.

My grandfather survived it, and this was WAY before all the wonderful new treatments. I got to sit and ask him why his veins were colbolt blue, because that was the only treatment they had at the time.


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count me in

Postby Peggy » Tue Mar 25, 2008 7:21 pm


I'd like to say I've lost track of my relatives who'd had cancer.

Best wishes for his speedy treatment and recovery

"And if you're like me, you need hope, coffee and melody..." - Robbie Seay Band, "New Day"

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David Loftus
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Postby David Loftus » Tue Mar 25, 2008 9:33 pm


Sorry to hear about your hard week. Hope things look up from here.

I can only reiterate what others have said -- prostate cancer is not a tough one to lick, if it's been caught early. One of my best friends in town, a fellow with whom I founded an English morris dance team 16 years ago, and with whom I do a "Beowulf" night every July, was diagnosed with prostate cancer a few years back, not long after his happy third marriage. He's been going strong ever since (aside from a quadruple bypass, as well!).

Best wishes, guy. . . .
War is, at first, the hope that one will be better off; next, the expectation that the other fellow will be worse off; then, the satisfaction that he isn't any better off; and, finally, the surprise at everyone's being worse off. - Karl Kraus

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Alex Jay Berman
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Postby Alex Jay Berman » Wed Mar 26, 2008 1:19 am

They're doing wonders with treatments nowadays. My own dad's seven or eight years removed from HIS prostate cancer, and my uncle--though currently chemo-ing for a far rarer cancer--came out of his years-ago prostate cancer with nothing but the best of health.

I wish your dad the absolute best success fighting this thing.

... and hey; you ask your doctor what YOU can do to avoid being PC, too, okay?

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Ezra Lb.
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Postby Ezra Lb. » Wed Mar 26, 2008 12:19 pm

Steve our thoughts are with you my friend.

I can testify from experience that there is nothing on this grey earth like being told you have cancer. (Three years ago tumor removed from upper right hard palate. Lost some bone and a few teeth. Good prognosis since I'm not a smoker.)

That word. It seems simultaneously sobering and delirious. All of a sudden you're special but in the wrong way. Your priorities change and narrow themselves down to one point of focus. (And one side affect is that forever after you will never be able to regain your enthusiasm for most of the trivialities in life that otherwise we consider so important.)

But your post brings up another issue. The moment when we are confronted with the mortality of our parents. When they're weak and it's our turn to be strong. When it's our turn to hold them the way they held us.

Steve, I assume your Dad is in the "system". He'll have someone prodding and poking him, telling where to be and which way to turn. You get to stand there and watch. There's no training for that I'm afraid and admitting that these posts lack the intimacy of human contact, just remember, you're not alone.
“We must not always talk in the marketplace,” Hester Prynne said, “of what happens to us in the forest.”
-Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter

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Steve Evil
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Postby Steve Evil » Thu Mar 27, 2008 12:47 pm

Thanks guys. You have no idea how much it means (but then again, maybe you do).

He hasn't decided which treatment to go for yet. Apparently it's still in the early stages, so the prognosis is good. As good as it can be anyway.

So until the news gets worse, life will continue more or less as it did before, except with better appreciation for the impermanence of it all.
Anything can be taken from us at any time. LEt's just appreciate the time we've goot.

Perhaps I needed the wake-up call.

Keep Rockin' y'all.


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Chuck Messer
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Postby Chuck Messer » Thu Mar 27, 2008 5:17 pm

Well, I'm sorry The Thief has cast its shadow on your Dad. I'm glad the prognosis is so good. I hope he beats this thing and makes it look easy.

Some people are wedded to their ideology the way nuns are wed to God.

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Postby Douglas Harrison » Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:55 am

My best wishes for your dad's health, Steve.


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Postby FrankChurch » Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:35 pm

Knock on real wood that you live in Canada, young man.


Postby rich » Fri Mar 28, 2008 5:06 pm

Leave the politics out of this one, Frank.

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