THE PAVILION ANNEX

General discussions of interest to readers and fans of Harlan Ellison.

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Ezra Lb.
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Re: THE PAVILION ANNEX

Postby Ezra Lb. » Wed Aug 17, 2011 6:25 pm

Just try being a White Woman of German desent if you want something to bitch about Ezra.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4nWBOq0aEw
“We must not always talk in the marketplace,” Hester Prynne said, “of what happens to us in the forest.”
-Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter

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Lori Koonce
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Re: THE PAVILION ANNEX

Postby Lori Koonce » Thu Aug 18, 2011 12:19 pm

Ezra Lb. wrote:Just try being a White Woman of German desent if you want something to bitch about Ezra.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4nWBOq0aEw


Something like that hon. Try having to explain to a very angry black man that there is no way you could have killed any of his family during slavery because that was over 400 years ago, and there was no way you could have been there.

Stupid shit like that.

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Duane
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Re: THE PAVILION ANNEX

Postby Duane » Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:05 pm

From the Pavilion:

"Do not extend my previous chat-offer to either Silverberg or Connie Willis. Closed doors there, please.

Thanks, if necessary. Harlan"

I understand why Harlan and Ms. Willis aren't on speaking terms anymore (and no need to get into any of THAT!), but I was under the assumption that Harlan and Robert Silverberg were lifelong friends.

No need for details, just a request for clarification: Harlan and Robert ARE NOT on speaking terms anymore?

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Re: THE PAVILION ANNEX

Postby Moderator » Thu Aug 18, 2011 2:30 pm

Duane,

Dunno. That caught me by surprise too.
- I love to find adventure. All I need is a change of clothes, my Nikon, an open mind and a strong cup of coffee.

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Lori Koonce
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Re: THE PAVILION ANNEX

Postby Lori Koonce » Thu Aug 18, 2011 4:16 pm

Sorry about the abrupt change in subject, but this has been eating at me for most of the day, and I really do wanna put it to bed before I get there, so here it goes.

Can anyone who is a regular here explain to me what I have done to Ben W. to make him so upset with me? I cannot recall any rude or disrespectful behavior towards him on my part. I have agreed with Ezra twice that Ben may want to explain himself better, but never in a rude or dismissive manner. Or at least none that I can recall.

So please help e figure out what I should do to try to make this a peaceful place again. Not that Ben and I are causing problems, but I could see it getting there.

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Duane
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Re: THE PAVILION ANNEX

Postby Duane » Thu Aug 18, 2011 4:57 pm

Lori, I like the response Steve B. gave to Ben when he asked a similar question: just be yourself.

However, we all need to remember we're fairly intelligent folks with a keen talent for pithy wordsmithing, and sometimes we (and I mean all of us) don't have the thick skins to match (and that can vary from one day to the next for a number of reasons). The "get as good as you give" advice certainly applies.

One thing I've learned from dealing with certain people on my facebook account: there are things said that immediately make my temperature go up. I immediately get out of the chair, take a quick walk around the block, then sit down and ask myself "OK, how can I come across as the adult in this conversation?" I imagine a third party reading the exchange and judging the relative maturity of the participants, and I want that third party guy/gal to say to him/herself "that Duane dude... he is one cool, crafty customer."

Not saying that parties in our various conversations are either mature or immature. We all get pissy, we all have our pet theories and opinions, and it's profoundly easy to "make someone an offender for a word." Take a deep breath, think twice, take that word out, then post once. And let the chips fall. :mrgreen:

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Samuel John Klein
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Re: THE PAVILION ANNEX

Postby Samuel John Klein » Thu Aug 18, 2011 5:15 pm

Lori Koonce wrote:Can anyone who is a regular here explain to me what I have done to Ben W. to make him so upset with me? I cannot recall any rude or disrespectful behavior towards him on my part. I have agreed with Ezra twice that Ben may want to explain himself better, but never in a rude or dismissive manner. Or at least none that I can recall.


Aside from leading with his chin and hyper-overreacting when he doesn't get the answer he wants from people he communicates with (in addition to accusing them of emotional reactions that he has no way to accurately assay, this being a textual forum) I can't think of a thing wrong with the fellow.

Probably very affable in real life.

As for now, the world is wide and I trouble myself not.

Sam.
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Chuck Messer
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Re: THE PAVILION ANNEX

Postby Chuck Messer » Thu Aug 18, 2011 5:17 pm

Lori:

I'll agree with Duane that we can be a mite tetchy at times. Some perhaps more than others.

I don't know if it's something to do with the kind of personality the site attracts, or perhaps the fact that what may seem like an innocuous posting to us may come across as dismissive and snarky to others. That seems to be a common problem on the internet, which is why so many discussion groups seem like snakepits compared to this one.

Like Steve said, just be your fine self. That's good enough for us.

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Duane
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Re: THE PAVILION ANNEX

Postby Duane » Thu Aug 18, 2011 5:25 pm

It took me the better part of a year to figure this place out, and that was AFTER three or so years of drifting in and out, not really getting into any deep topics or conversations.

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Lori Koonce
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Re: THE PAVILION ANNEX

Postby Lori Koonce » Fri Aug 19, 2011 1:46 pm

I guess I look at it this way. If I, one of the most uber sensitive people I know, can walk away from something that is said, then anyone should be able to.

I also like to know why people react the way they do for very basic reason. I'm not too sharp when it comes to seeing my own bad behavior. So, I can come off as someone who is looking for trouble when I'm not. One would think that after two years of therapy this wouldn't be such a problem, but it still is. So, personal growth is attainable if I can just get the offended one to tell me what I've done.

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Ezra Lb.
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Re: THE PAVILION ANNEX

Postby Ezra Lb. » Fri Aug 19, 2011 7:18 pm

Lori Koonce wrote:I guess I look at it this way. If I, one of the most uber sensitive people I know, can walk away from something that is said, then anyone should be able to.

I also like to know why people react the way they do for very basic reason. I'm not too sharp when it comes to seeing my own bad behavior. So, I can come off as someone who is looking for trouble when I'm not. One would think that after two years of therapy this wouldn't be such a problem, but it still is. So, personal growth is attainable if I can just get the offended one to tell me what I've done.


You didn't do anything wrong.
“We must not always talk in the marketplace,” Hester Prynne said, “of what happens to us in the forest.”
-Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter

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Samuel John Klein
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Re: THE PAVILION ANNEX

Postby Samuel John Klein » Fri Aug 19, 2011 8:13 pm

Ezra Lb. wrote:
Lori Koonce wrote:I guess I look at it this way. If I, one of the most uber sensitive people I know, can walk away from something that is said, then anyone should be able to.

I also like to know why people react the way they do for very basic reason. I'm not too sharp when it comes to seeing my own bad behavior. So, I can come off as someone who is looking for trouble when I'm not. One would think that after two years of therapy this wouldn't be such a problem, but it still is. So, personal growth is attainable if I can just get the offended one to tell me what I've done.


You didn't do anything wrong.


Ditto.

SAm.
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FrankChurch
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Re: THE PAVILION ANNEX

Postby FrankChurch » Sat Aug 20, 2011 9:11 am

Lori, take it from me, being liked is not such a big deal. It's more important the quality of friendship. Mooks show their true colors.

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Lori Koonce
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Re: THE PAVILION ANNEX

Postby Lori Koonce » Sat Aug 20, 2011 11:48 am

Thanks Gang

If I could just get ya all to move to San Francisco, maybe my mental health would be improving more rapidly than it has been lately!

*hugs all around and a special something for Ezra and Frank*

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FrankChurch
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Re: THE PAVILION ANNEX

Postby FrankChurch » Sat Aug 20, 2011 12:02 pm

When the second great depression begins San Francisco may be where the revolutionary hub may begin.


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