Depression

General discussions of interest to readers and fans of Harlan Ellison.

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Ezra Lb.
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Re: Depression

Postby Ezra Lb. » Fri Jan 17, 2014 9:36 pm

Steve Evil wrote:Love. Will I never learn?


You better hope not.

:wink:
“We must not always talk in the marketplace,” Hester Prynne said, “of what happens to us in the forest.”
-Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter

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Steve Evil
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Re: Depression

Postby Steve Evil » Sat Jan 18, 2014 8:29 am

I shouldn't have bothered.

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FrankChurch
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Re: Depression

Postby FrankChurch » Sat Jan 18, 2014 10:16 am

Steve, I'm concerned. Don't forget we all love you here.

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Re: Depression

Postby Moderator » Sat Jan 18, 2014 7:48 pm

Steve

A couple we have known for years -- in fact our periodic "Disneyland buddies" -- announced a week ago they were not only splitting but it was a less than amicable severance.

Knowing what they are going through emotionally, you have my most heartfelt sympathies.
- I love to find adventure. All I need is a change of clothes, my Nikon, an open mind and a strong cup of coffee.

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Ezra Lb.
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Re: Depression

Postby Ezra Lb. » Sun Jan 19, 2014 10:44 am

Steve Evil wrote:I shouldn't have bothered.


It occurs to me that my response to you might have seemed dismissive and even frivolous, which was not my intention at all. I was trying to say the experience of love, though it go badly, is one we can't help keep going back to for more.

Other than that I have no advice whatsoever. Nobody but bozos on this bus.
“We must not always talk in the marketplace,” Hester Prynne said, “of what happens to us in the forest.”
-Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter

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Steve Evil
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Re: Depression

Postby Steve Evil » Sun Jan 19, 2014 12:52 pm

Oh Ezra, your comment was awesome, I wasn't referring to that.

I was referring to myself.

I've been chronically single all my life - every attempt has ended more or less the same way. My current situation isn't quite over yet, but I recognize all the signs, all the signals, and I'm beginning to think history may repeat itself. And a big part of me is thinking "well what was the point of that? You were doing just fine 'till she came along."

Thanks for being there folks. . .

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FinderDoug
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Re: Depression

Postby FinderDoug » Sun Jan 19, 2014 2:07 pm

Steve E -

I wish you all the best. Where you are is one of the suckier place on earth for the heart to be. I had a condo in that building for a lotta years. I was 41 before I Peggy and I began dating. The litany that preceded our coming together, on my part, was also chronically single, with some absolute train wrecks of relationships.

Love makes spaceflight seem as easy as hopping onto a carousel by comparison. But we're wired to want a person who closes our circuit in a fashion no one else does. Sometimes, that's a lot of rock-turning, blind alleys and mouths full of ashes.

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Re: Depression

Postby Moderator » Sun Jan 19, 2014 2:38 pm

Well put, Doug.

Steve, you might also bear in mind that Susan was not Harlan's first wife. Or second. Or third.

And for each spouse there were handsful of ladies in between.

But then, after years of search and trial and error he found the love of his life.

If it comes to naught it doesn't mean you're done...it just means you need to keep looking.
- I love to find adventure. All I need is a change of clothes, my Nikon, an open mind and a strong cup of coffee.

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Lori Koonce
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Re: Depression

Postby Lori Koonce » Sun Jan 19, 2014 3:18 pm

Mr Evil

There are worse places to be. I was so love starved at 35 that I ignored all the signs, and ended up marrying the man who then spent the next two or three months beating the hell out of me on a quite regular basis.

Love is a fickle little bitch. I'd have thought by now I'd at least have the picket fence and handsome guy. But, I don't. You are an amazing person. The few private chats we've had prove that out. Don't settle for any woman who cannot or will not see that. She's out there, believe me she's out there. And she's feeling exactly the same thing.

Barber had a point. Harlan's older than both of us, and he's managed to find his missing piece. I won't give up the search if you don't.

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FrankChurch
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Re: Depression

Postby FrankChurch » Mon Jan 20, 2014 12:28 pm

Lori, I'm sorry you went through that. Hope you don't infer that I am abusive. :)

----------

I have similar issues to Evil. Maybe love is not in the cards.

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Lori Koonce
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Re: Depression

Postby Lori Koonce » Mon Jan 20, 2014 1:25 pm

Frank

Most abusers don't feel for their victims, so why would your kind words make me think you are abusive. Annoying sure, but there's HUGE difference between the two. And besides, if I'd not gone through it, I would be a different person, and I kinda like who I am.

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Steve Evil
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Re: Depression

Postby Steve Evil » Mon Jan 20, 2014 2:51 pm

Lori Koonce wrote:Mr Evil

There are worse places to be. I was so love starved at 35 that I ignored all the signs. . .


Wouldn't you know: I was so love starved at 35 that I ignored all the signs!

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FrankChurch
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Re: Depression

Postby FrankChurch » Tue Jan 21, 2014 10:17 am

Canadians are so nice; maybe you are too nice to ask a lady out. :)

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FrankChurch
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Re: Depression

Postby FrankChurch » Tue Jan 21, 2014 10:17 am

That Humolka bitch not withstanding.

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Lori Koonce
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Re: Depression

Postby Lori Koonce » Tue Jan 21, 2014 11:20 am

Ok

So, the fact that I haven't had to use this board for it's intended purpose in a long while is a good thing.

But, right now every time I inhale it feels like something is trying to break through my breast bone. I know it's just depression and a bit of panic trying to have it's way, but man why the FUCK is it happening now? Other than a bit of a money crunch, which I will solve later today. not a damned thing is going on that I need to be feeling badly about.

I even attempted to help someone else. Focusing outside of myself usually does wonders for me. But not this time.

Thanks for letting me post this mini rant. Sometimes it's just what is needed.


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