3 2/3 months
Our roommate gave me $100 yesterday towards expenses, which I appreciated. (Gas, electricity, water, toilet paper, etc.)
Apologies if this seems self-indulgent, but this is where I can come to rant without fear she will see it online. She is a very nice person, though woefully unprepared for life. Her parents made what I consider to be a critical mistake, and that is allowing her to live at home and not take responsibility for her life. As such she does not have a job, and doesn't see the freight train which is bearing down upon her -- her back is to the train as she examines a little flower on the tracks.
We have tried, via things like asking for expense monies, to drive home the point that she will be paying these on her own shortly with no appearance of an income.
In an odd echo, Cris' brother may be approaching a separation from his wife of a year and a half over almost precisely the same issue. She treats her oldest child as if they are still a small kid. Her 25 year old is a full on mess, though the 22 year old is trying to sort her life out. (Ignoring the sex change issue -- yes, you read that right -- the 25 year old has a four hour a day job at Fedex, contributes nothing to the household budget and spends most of her time watching tv or playing video games. Does no chores around the house, including letting her mother do her own laundry. She has no interest in a career or full time job. When my brother in law asked her what she would do if her mother died, the kid seriously replied "go live with grandma".)
We're positioning our roommate as a cautionary tale with Cris' brother of what damage they could be doing to the daughter by not forcing her to be a responsible adult. Our roommate is, at 45, completely unaware of the way the world works and is constantly frustrated because other people aren't doing things the way she wants. She has no concept of making people responsible for their course of action. She sits, watching tv -- sound familiar? -- waiting for the phone to ring instead of proactively pursuing updates on a daily basis. (That's too often early in the process, but by the third month it's unacceptable to sit idly by and "let things work".) And so far she hasn't really bothered looking for work, despite the fact she will be paying out HOA fees and taxes on her new place if when she moves in.
TMI? Yeah, probably. But it keeps me from the urge to hit her with a bat. Suddenly I can really identify with the classic line from Francis Ford Coppola's MOONSTRUCK: "Snap out of it!"
Cris and I were discussing the Christmas tree yesterday. I have a sinking feeling it's not going to be just the two of us on Christmas morning this year...
- I love to find adventure. All I need is a change of clothes, my Nikon, an open mind and a strong cup of coffee.