Ah, I see you've managed to click on the proper picture. Not bad for
a primate - although I'll wager some of you are still back on the first
page, frantically clicking on one of the full-sized pictures of me.
Now that you've demonstrated higher brain functions, let's take a look
at the guy who, under my
direction, does most of the grunt work on the web site
- Rick Wyatt.
This is a picture of Rick about three years back when he was still skinny
and virile. At this time, his chores aside from catering to my every
whim pretty much consisted of transporting me wherever I wanted to go
by carrying me around on his head. Once I realized that behind that
simpleton's smile lurked the brain of, well, a simpleton - but a clever
simpleton, one that could be trained to perform simple tasks, I began
assigning him more difficult duties.
The result, after years of often frustrating training, is that Rick
can now be trusted to run a full computer system, complete with printer
and scanner. He can even update web pages with little direction from
me (aside from any creative input, which I of course
must provide). (Ed. update: Shirt gone. Cow sign gone.
Rick 40 lbs heavier.)
As you can see from this picture, taken but a month or so ago, Rick
has grown fat and content on my largesse. He is pictured here with his
girlfriend Kristin. (Ed. update: Jacket gone. Girlfriend
is now wife, thankyouverymuch.)
the Virtual Tour