Unca Harlan's Art Deco Dining Pavilion

Archive - 10/08/2007 to 12/17/2007

Unca Harlan's Art Deco Dining Pavilion

MIKE LANE: Begs W*H*A*T question? I never met Rod Serling. You
assume too much.

KB: What I despise most about the internet and, sadly, this site is apparently equally unsafe as the rest of the terrain...
people pop in here without doing any perusal of what has gone before ... and so we have the same questions asked over and over and over and over, and we must continue to educate the parvenus until blood gushes from our ears.

I mean you, KB. No longer ago than a week, we asked people NOT to rehash new movies, spoiler warnings or not, because it fucks everything up for those of us who have lives to live and get around to each new Friday's load of cinema offal when we can.

Apparently, you either missed all that, or you're tone-deaf.

Either way, it is what drives me, personally, away from this place.

Harlan Ellison

Gerrold Interview

http://www.tvshowsondvd.com/news/Star-Trek-Animated/1992

It would be best if I included the link

David Gerrold Interview mentioning Harlan

This goes back a few years but it’s a very interesting interview with a very good writer. The interview is broken up into three sections, Section two involves Harlan but the whole interview is well worth your time.

Regards

Jarod Hitchcock

Paul, go to any peace rally and you will see the cops for what they are--thugs.

They hate democracy and they obviously hate us. Taste tear gas sometime, it is not the Binaca kiss.

They own us and they know it, the best way to fight them and other forms of authority is to be active and to be awake. All you can really say.

Cindy knows we have her back.

-----------

Rob, you just called me, you said that you hated Dali, thought his art was like a...let me get this right, "a crack baby drawing with a burnt crayon."


Don't think I don't have your number bub.

Actually, Dali is the man. Rob loves him, we all love him, but never more then he loved himself. You can ask his ghost; but he is the only ghost I know that doesn't do house calls.

Ba boom.

Re: The Starlost
Dear Todd Cassel,

as we used to say in my day, THE STARLOST sucked the moose's root! Run away! (I don't think our host loses a penny if you do.)

You can read about Harlan's ordeal with the series in his memoir, "Somehow, I Don't Think We're in Kansas, Toto" - it's in THE ESSENTIAL ELLISON. However, you'd best go on bookfinder.com and hunt down HE's original teleplay in Jack Dann & George Zebrowski's anthology, FASTER THAN LIGHT. It is sublime writing instructive to anyone who wants to write SF for any visual medium. (Oddly enough, M. Night Shyamalan's THE VILLAGE is closer to Harlan's vision than the series ever was.)

Todd,

From what I remember of the series, I would say the DVDs should make nice coasters. That's about it. Even as a high school kid who loved SF, it was lousy. I don't remember one good moment from it. Of course I didn't see the whole thing, but I doubt there was a late-season rethinking/rewriting that made the later episodes any better.

Some were groaningly bad.

Buy some nice coasters instead. They're cheaper.

Chuck

I'm with those who say I Am Legend is half a good movie, and that's half more than the first two. I saw The Last Man on Earth when I was eight or nine, and it scared the hell out of me. I rented it a few weeks ago, watched the first fifteen minutes, and turned it off before I got to the parts I remember being scary. It’s a mess. And Chuck-Heston-versus-the-Manson-Black-Power-Hippie-Luddite-Albinos didn't even have the virtue of being frightening. When I finally got my hands on the novel, age ten or eleven, I was enthralled. I must have read it half a dozen times. So it's fair to say I've been waiting for this film for thirty years. And I don't mind filmmakers taking liberties with plot as long as they don't make a mess of it. The first half of this film is wonderfully spooky and atmospheric and features at least one sequence of unbearable stomach-clenching tension. And while putting a dog in danger is about the most cheaply manipulative thing a film can do, what the hell, it works. The flashback sequences, maybe of necessity, weren't as frightening as they could have been. The biggest flaw, aside from the ludicrous implausibilities that pile especially high in the second half, is the conception of the "dark seekers". Obviously "28 Days Later" raised the ante by making the slow-moving Romero zombies into speed demons, but this one makes them virtually superhuman. As if they need speed and strength when they have numbers. And CGI has rendered them indistinguishable from one another. The horrible thing - one of the horrible things - about vampires in general, and Matheson's in particular, is that they are recognizable as formerly human. (Paging Ben Cortman and Virginia Neville.) These things might as well be aliens. But I though Will Smith did a fine job. And man, did I love that dog.

Harlan Ellison's Starlost
Just announced:

http://www.tvshowsondvd.com/news/Starlost-North-American-Release/8630

So, who can refresh my memory on the history of Harlan's involvement in this series. I know it's been essayed ad naseum, but it's been years since I read about it and I'm wondering if these DVD's will be worthwhile.

-TODD

My pal Alan wrote:

"According to Mark Evanier, Leno and O'Brien are going back to work on Jan. 2. ASSHOLES!"

Not that anyone asked me, but...

It's probably been close to ten years since I watched Leno for more than a few minutes while channel-surfing. The last time I recall, several months ago, he was still doing Clinton BJ jokes.

O'Brien? Never found him funny, haven't watched him in years. Not even channel-surfing.

Tony

Susan, thanks for checking on the membership for me.

Cindy, take care.


And bests to all.

--tr

Writing
What a bitch. Last week I work like a buggered HouseMaid for three days cleaning, laundering, sorting, filing, emptying trash, throwing out old mattresses (by moonlight so the landlord don't charge me fifty bucks for large item disposal so sue me, I pay two grand in rent monthly you can haul a couple old mattresses on the cuff you bastards), paying bills, answering months worth of old mail, paying old debts, cleaning up bookshelves and making sure the cat's took their hairball medicine and stop drinking the water from the Chritmas tree.

All of that in service of "clearing the decks" for the script rewrite I was hired for a month ago, which rewrite is to be turned in January 20. Which rewrite I did a preliminary pass on and turned in two weeks ago. Which rewrite I have twelve pages of handwritten notes taken verbatim from the producer to follow for the first forty pages. Which forty pages I was to turn in before Christmas.

And I sit here, the laptop (for some reason hidden from me I write best on a laptop. Maybe it is like Harlan writing on typewriters? Harlan, don't you write on a portable typewriter when on the road? Is it that there is something comfortable about holding your whole career right there in your lap, winging it, flying over the shoals and reefs, out to the open sea of story, just me and my fingers? Probably not.)

And I sit here, realizing I am supposed to be writing. I am being paid to write.

And yet:

Actually, there is some mail to do. Not to mention I have not balanced my checkbook in a few days. Oh, and look, three Christmas cards I have not sent replies to...

SO why am I smiling now?

KOS

Muses of Fire, that Ascend the very Heaven of Invention. . .
But David, mightn't a newcommer to Shakespere be better served by a format they are more familiar with? I mean, unless she's already intimate with live theatre, perhaps a filmic presentation, with close ups, and incidental music and a "pause" button with which to tackle Elizabethan idiom for the first time might be actually be a good introduction.

No question the bard was meant to be performed. But sitting through a full length Hamlet might be a tall order for someone who's never tackled it before.

I confess, when I was introduced to Shakespere in High School, I found the language as indecipherable as hyroglyphics. It was the on-screen performances of Kenneth Branagh and Ian McKellon that drew me in (Roman Polanski's sex and violence didn't hurt either), more so than the live Othello I eagerly took the bus to Stratford for.
And today, even the little 12 year olds I work with are familiar with the Baz Luhrmann version of Romeo and Juliet.

When it comes to introductions, motion pictures can make a lovely Trojan Horse into the psyche.

(having said all that, I would avoid "Tromeo and Juliet". Amusing as it is, it is probably not the impression you're looking for Alex.)

Thine Own,

-Steve E. of the House of Dylag

Mr. Ellison

Your recent post on Richard Matheson and Charles Beaumont begs the question "Did you meet Rod Serling?" and if so in what context and if I may inquire what did you think of him and his work. I know you worked on the New Twilight Zone which suggests you were an admirer of his work but I don't like to assume things. Thanks for any comment you might provide
Sincerely

Mike Lane

Late night hosts returning to work
FWIW, the WGA seems fine with the late-night shows going back, figuring that having vocal support from the hosts will only be a good thing. According to the Nikki Finke's site http://www.deadlinehollywooddaily.com/ , the WGA simply reminded them of the rules regarding monologues, etc.

Jan

Barber,

I'm going to that!

David,

Getting The Shakes:

The very problem you just brought up - experiencing the Bard as the form is meant to be experienced - has defined an ongoing conflict for me since I can remember. When I'm reading a play - whoever the writer - I feel I'm doing it an injustice. Yet, it's an issue I'll have to resolve because I've really little choice. If I want to revisit Shakespeare, I'll have to do it at home. I particularly, at this time, have Hamlet and Richard III in mind.

I also want Beckett, Shepard, and obviously Tennessee Williams.

But I need to get past this problem of feeling self-conscious because of the form. If I can't, the focus isn't there.

I also noted what you said about Hemingway and Fitzgerald "inflicted" by the school system. It's the dead weight - I think - of unimaginative and uninspired instructors who can do that. I make that argument, because, like you, some authors were "ruined" for myself as well. But, there are some periods I recall the opposite happening: an excellent teacher - who'd included these authors in his course - turned me onto Melville and Faulkner, compelling me to find more of their works years later.

That doesn't always happen, of course. That's why I feel it lies in the talents or lacking thereof in a teacher.

***I AM LEGEND

No one here is closer to the author of this brilliant novella than Harlan.

For ONCE, I'm declaring this openly: I'll only take a look at this thing with Will Smith if I find out Harlan himself was pleased with it. I am an outrageous PURIST when it comes to Matheson's story, as I would be for any adaptation of an Ellison story. And with the 2 previous movie fiascoes (even though there are some elements in the Heston version I DO like), I don't need to experience a third. Critics out there seem to be saying right now that this is both the best and the worst version; that it does a great job in the first half, and then descends into the routine and predictable action train. Richard Roeper, this last weekend, praised the shit out of it. I don't trust him on this. The outtakes I saw looked stupid. The harsher critiques I picked up earlier last week sounded legit.

If Harlan knocks it, or if I never read his response to it...I'll probably take a walk on it.

****Und finally, one of many films I saw and studied way back there in Melnitz at UCLA filmschool, when it was still a BA program, was 1948's noir watershed, The Naked City. It was the ushering in of Neo-Realist filmmaking in American film (and the beginning of many careers) - influenced by the Italian wave - and a radical experiment in narrative (I BELIEVE this film is one of Kubrick's early influences; you look at this, and you see so many of his early films here).

I felt like revisiting the film and exploring it on a new level. Except for the narrator, producer Mark Hellinger, who I feel goes TOO far with the "intrusions", my respect aside for the experiment, its claustrophobic imagery is intoxicating. Even today you can pick up SOOOOOOOO many ideas from this thing.

Eventually, I'll own a copy.

I felt like

According to Mark Evanier, Leno and O'Brien are going back to work on Jan. 2. ASSHOLES!

http://www.newsfromme.com/archives/2007_12_17.html#014482

WGA Strike
I thought that I would share the "interwebblognetwebblog" at
http://lateshowwritersonstrike.com/.

It has some comments and videos regarding the WGA strike. There is a good deal of wit and cleverness, even to the point of being laugh-out-loud funny.

I do know the strike is serious but the AMPTP is too easy a target for satire and parody. Greedy corporate thugs is all they are.

I would hope they realize that their ultimatums and rollback "offers" are not winning them friends and will get rid of Nick Odemus Counter before he fucks up the entire entertainment economy.

I also hope the side negotiations will go well - and wake up the corporate thugs.

Neighbor (sort-of) Brian:
Thanks for the Flanders and Swann. I only knew "Have some Madeira, M'dear" from late night convention madness known as filking, and I find the source to be a true delight.

Yr. Obdnt. Svnt.
wcf

ANGELENOS: Salvador Dali and Film Exhibition at LACMA

If you are a fan of film-making, a fan of Dali, a fan of Surrealism or the Marx Brothers or Disney, I cannot recommend this exhibition highly enough.

Among the highlights are his most famous painting, PERSISTENCE OF MEMORY; a large exhibit of works relating to Hitchcock's film SPELLBOUND (including a large screen viewing of the dream sequence); and the completely finished version of the Dali/Disney collaboration film DESTINO -- which was not completed until 2003 when computers could take a whack at the complicated imagery.

I went to it yesterday and the show is gobsmacking (yes, it's a Brit word that describes exactly this show).

http://www.lacma.org/art/ExhibDali.aspx

The show only runs until January 6th, but it's worth changing your plans...

(This means you Harlan, Susan, Erik, Josh, Tom, Rob, Duane and all other LA-based film-liking Webderlanders.)

reading aloud w Bill da Bard

ALEX JAY:

You want my advice? I would say you should NOT read Shakespeare. Not yet.

Do you know if she's ever seen a play? If not, take her to one. Take in a couple. See how she likes the territory. Make sure it's the real thing, not one of the videos, no matter how fine. Shakespeare was written to be heard and seen and felt live.

Which is not to say there are no rewards to reading the scripts to oneself in silence, or reading them aloud one-on-one or among a circle of friends or even strangers -- all of which I've done.

If the live shows pique her interest, THEN you can read her the favorites that are not being produced locally. And I would say let her pace you: if she stops with a question, welcome those, but don't lecture where YOU think it's called for.

Classics should invite people in, not be imposed on them. They have plenty ability to do so. I was required to read Hemingway and Fitzgerald in high school and I've hardly ever gone back to them since. My loss, I know, but not my fault that I was put off by them by the system first.

Go here for a mess of pottage!
There is something up on YouTube, which I am fairly sure Mr. Ellison would dig, as well as give all of you a chuckle.

In one of Ellison's essays, I noticed a reference that sounded familiar to me, "...come up to my place for a mess of pottage!". This same phrase shows up "Design for Living" by (Michael) Flanders and (Donald) Swann. I have just about all of their recordings, but there is VERY little footage of them, but someone who, according to the poster, has the permission of the estate, has put up two clips of them performing "A Song of Patriotic Prejudice" and "Madeira M'Dear". Not only are they both funny songs, Flanders' considerable acting chops are hinted at.

It's been a rough year for a lot of people and hopefully this will bring a couple of smiles to people's faces (myself included).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OW_zi8n4HDQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vh-wEXvdW8

Brian Phillips

P.S. For those who are unfamiliar with Flanders and Swann, their first two albums, "At the Drop of a Hat" and "At the Drop of Another Hat" are absolutely wonderful!

The Green (not bright) Hand (not young men)....
Dear Mr. Ellison:

Thank you! It's entirely possible that I've been reading too many animation blogs, and made the conflation between the Green Hand group and the Seven Bright Young Men out of sheer non-Googling laziness. My apologies.

As for that Victory team, well, how nice for you, then....

Sincerely,
cgeye
(a frustrated former Blue Blaze Irregular)

ATC,

There are times when I feel lucky just to have made it through the day. I have been from that lousy place, myself. I hope you were able to give vent to those feelings and that being able to vent a bit here helped ease the pain.

If I may quote a Wise Old Gentleman: "It is when the shitrain falls most poundingly, that the core nature of the strength of our character manifests itself...If I've said it once, I've said it at least twice: yes, of course, Life is tough; but if it were easy, hell, EVERYONE would be doing it! Remember this, kiddo: as the little old lady in the play THE CONNECTION said to a loftfull of junkies, "You are not alone."

Just remember that there is no need for you to feel alone in this.

Chuck

Adam,

You made it through another day and that's what matters most. You're right, we've all been there, and now that you've come through the other side -- perhaps only to go there again -- we're still here and don't have any plans to leave you wanting.

Chin up,
shagin

Harlan,
I think I'm gonna be just fine. I'm not afraid but I'm vigilant. How's your battle coming?

Cindy


Adam Troy?
I'll pray tonight for your tomorrow to be less oppressive. If you feel like venting do it! Don't hold back-- just turn on those turbines and it crank up.
I'm listening,
Cindy

Random Plaint
Harlan is fond of an epigram to the effect that if people's faces were as unformed as their hearts (or souls -- the exact reference eludes me), monsters would roam the streets.

Today I feel a little unformed myself, and am not showing a great face to the world. Not having a great emotional day, is what I'm saying.

Nothing big. Nothing you need to worry about or knock yourselves out interfering with. Just the standard issue pissed-off-with-myself to which we're all heir from time to time. I felt like venting. Sigh.

ERRATUM

"in and" should be "and in"

-he

PAUL:

Like you--and I've ratified this more than a few times in essays, in and short stories such as "Free With This Box!"--I am not much of an admirer of cops in general. But, as with anything else, there are some good mixed in with the brutes and the power-control-junkies; and a few of those are friends o mine. Nonetheless, and the foregoing notwithstanding, the "us against them" restatement spoken to you...has been spake to me. Not once, not twice, but on three separate occasions by three different police officers of my close acquaintance, in three different cities, at three different levels of rank.

I fear US against THEM, for too many law-enforcement individuals means--precisely and EXACTLY--what you heard. Us is the blue line, THEM is you and me and Cindy, kiddo.

(How you holdin' up, sweetie?)

Yr. Pal, Harlan

REPLY TO CGEYE:

Dear Sir or Madame:

"The Green Hand" was the informal gang-monicker for the group of Southern California tv/film scenarists who loosely allied in the mid-'60s with Charles Beaumont and Richard Matheson at the core. I refer you to a book published within the last few years titled, if my memory is still precise, CALIFORNIA SORCERY. It contains stories by all of us, a bright group of "young men,"
and memorializes that auctorial Hanseatic League.

The group included Theodore Sturgeon, who had come out to California at a turbulent nexus in his career, to live with me for a while. Formerly (before the "Green Hand" identity) the bunch of writers included George Clayton Johnson, John Tomerlin, William F. Nolan and even Jerry Bixby. I got to LA in 1962, and was close friends with Chuck Beaumont and, subsequently, Dick Matheson. I knew all the rest of the bunch, medium to well, and everyone sort of hung.

But I was a "member of the group" only by time and venue. The writers who orbited Dick and Chuck got much of their tv script work as referrals by Beaumont/Matheson--"Wanted: Dead or Alive"
and "Twilight Zone" to name only two--while I went my own way, and could be called "associate" to that sterling group only through friendship and some similarity of subject matter.

Years later, when the story of that cadre was being codified, I was amazed to find myself (happily) on the roster. I flat-out worshipped Charles Beaumont; and have written encomia of the great Richard Matheson enough times for even the most casual observer to perceive my honor at being called his friend. Chad Oliver, another grand grand writer, was one of that bunch, and a good friend of mine, though he is most usually thought of as a Texan; the late Ray Russell was--after his stint as fiction editor for Playboy--an amigo of the core group; Ray Bradbury, though long-established at that time, was another; as was Jerry Sohl. As was I.

CALIFORNIA SORCERY begins with a much more accurate and detailed essay of that time, this place, and those icons. When your query was first transmitted to me through friends--Kay and Josh--reference was made to "The Seven Bright Young Men," and not "The Green Hand." After scratching my head for a moment,I parsed your question as a misthinking of the latter for the former. On the other hand, if you really DID mean "The Seven Bright Young Men," you might have meant the animators who worked for Disney, or the OTHER group to which I belonged ...

THE SEVEN SOLDIERS OF VICTORY. Of which I, as Wong, sidekick to The Crimson Avenger, attest to being party, with The Vigilante, The Shining Knight, The Star-Spangled Kid and Stripesy, Green Arrow and Speedy, as my cohorts.

I hope the preceding clarifies everything for you.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

Police; Meet the new boss, same as the old boss....

18-odd years ago I dated this girl whose father was a Police Inspector from CA. He was a pretty good guy, I suppose. Never liked cops much at all, but i've known some over the years, and even though i've never really been treated unfairly by them, but i've known plenty of people who've been roughed up unnecessarily and perhaps I felt the animus just on GP. He moved back East and started a house alarm company, saying he didn't want to do 'that' kind of work anymore. So we would sit around in the evenings, all of us, talking, and it was one of these evenings that he said one of the most frightening things I've heard, coming from someone whose job it had been to "Protect and Serve".
He said, "When I started on the police force (this woulda been 'in his 20's, 1960-65 or so.), the mentality was Us vs. Them, meaning the cops against the bad guys. I quickly learned that the truth was Us vs. Them, as in the police against EVERYBODY ELSE." The look on his face chilled me. He had believed that.

Cindy, you are one hell of an individual, and my thoughts are with you. Echoing sentiments and alla that, i respect the heck out of you. That Texas good-ole-boy system is an SOB to break, and i'm looking forward to reading all about it. Go get 'em tiger. Stay safe. Courage.

HAPPY 90TH BIRTHDAY, SIR ARTHUR C CLARKE!!!
There are writers who have meant more to me in my life I suppose but it was Arthur C Clarke who first ignited the dream for me with his fiction and his essays.

The future didn't turn out quite like he and Asimov thought maybe but let's hope the vision of human beings facing the universe with courage and imagination and wonder never dies.

"Why, with a mind like that he is almost one of us gods!"
-- Zeus, about Odysseus, in the ILIAD.

Mary, cops are thugs, most of them, sad to say; they seem to get real glee fucking with people, especially poor ones. Brutes who want to kick ass wear the badge--I have seen this way too many times. When was the last time you saw any cop who had a hankerin for democratic morays?

Face it, we called them pigs back in the day for a reason, not just to be hyperbolic or crass. That too, but fun is fun.

This is why we must find a way to dismantle all unchecked authority and live in an egalitarian world. '

Do I dream? Sure. This is one thing nobody can deny.

---------------

Camille Paglia has a tribute to Norman Mailer in the latest Rolling Stone. Except for a few nutty moments, she has it right. She doesn't downplay Mailer's sick moments, but keeps it pretty correct.

Mailer was a bastard, but we need bastards.

--------------

Harlan, can you explain Will Smith? hehe. '

--------------------

Corporations will never allow themselves to be regulated--especially if you regulate their profit. They will not stand for that and they have means to get even with any person who fucks with them.

They can transfer funds as quick as a sneeze now in the electronic age. They could hurt the economy with one stroke of a mouse. These are vindictive rats, remember.

We first have to regulate capital flows. But that does not take into account the sad fact that people, mostly the poor, still have to rent themselves out to a boss or company, to be used. Better that people themselves control their own work.

Cindy:

I find it interesting (and frightening) that some individuals are given badges, and then they turn around and do whatever the hell they want. It appears this sheriff threw away his decency, humanity, honesty, and sense of true justice in the trashcan along with the badge he supposedly upholds. Then again, I'm sure the people like that idiot former boss of yours giving him the power to do what he wants doesn't help either. Continue to hold your own...for as long as I've read this message board, you've always spoken your mind along with everyone else here, and you've done it with style, passion, and a healthy dose of intelligence. It's what keeps me coming back.

As far as my two cents goes, enough is enough is enough. People like that sheriff need to be run out of town on a rail. The written word wasn't meant to protect his sorry behind. It was meant to express the opinions of all, and most importantly, the truth. Don't stop, Cindy. I've never met you, but you've got more cajones than most people I know.

There are many more important subjects...

...to talk about than this...

...Cindy, your story is frightening on many levels, good luck and godspeed to you...

...Roger, best of luck with your mom's health, the last 30 days have been a rough time for my own circle as well, I know too well the feeling of fretting about the parents...

...but, may I just say, apropos of nothing, that this thing the Los Angeles Times is doing, of taking the Sunday Comics, and splitting them into two sections, and burying them deep, deep, deep inside the advertisements so that you have to paw through alla that crap just to find out what Trudeau and Breathed have cooked up this week, is driving me OUT OF MY GODDAMNED MIND!

Okay, I feel a little better now.

Back to our regularly scheduled conversation.

MM

The Green Hand
I was referred here by Mr. Olson:

I recall reading about a group of writers who banged around the Science Fiction/Fantasy TV series of the '60s, possibly including you, Matheson, Beaumont.... was it as tough as the Black Hand, but concentrated on more scripts, more money, fewer drive-bys?

Song n'Dance for the politically aware:

KOS: "You use government to restrict business, and you use economic freedom to keep government in line. Too much power on either side and you get a mess."

I wish that population held in the right-wing media-byte fishing net would grasp this point as precisely the plight and object of the Progressive Left. The equation KOS highlighted is the entire basis for an American middle-class.

Following the timeline, from Reagan's rhetoric way back in the 80's which found a hefty share of purblind suckers...and how it alarms me NOW the way competition gives way to "legal monopolies", and corporations own most of the media air waves, so that many otherwise "serious reporters" - should they defy the shareholders, will find themselves out of work like Cindy, and "BRITNEY" dominates newscasts to drown out the Bush-Cheney debacle. (Recall what Maria Shriver had to say about NBC when Anna-Nicole was all they could prop as news)

We're not yet in Putin's Russia, where bold journalists determined to report the truth get murdered; here, you'll just lose your job. But let things move freely as they are, and we COULD get there!

And ONE more thing: I was talking with a friend last night as we were listening to this dipshit Republican-Libertarian, Lou Dobbs, sharing his "vision" for "America".

Well, this friend of mine has a sister who, in her early 20's, was subjected to radiation in a lab accident. Today - some 25 years later - her mind is deteriorated. She can't help herself. She closes herself in a room upstairs nearly 24 hours/day, and rarely accepts direct help. If her family didn't have money for insurance she'd be on her own. Problem is, there are people in this country in that very situation - where they've NO money - and may even be out on the streets.

Likewise, I've a friend who is bipolar. She has NO money and therefore no insurance. Her family has abandoned her because she is so difficult to deal with. The result: she once prostituted herself just to survive financially, and she's landed in jail several times, the last because of traffic violations, bench warrants for court "no-shows", and driving on a suspended license. Her family wouldn't bail her out, and she sat there for a week.

Needless to say, there are probably millions in this country who are worse off than both these people.

YET...ALL of these people - according to Dobbs - would simply be "responsible for themselves".

KOS' equation is really, REALLY relevant - and I hope more people wake up to this fact, and that they've been suckered round the clock. The balances of regulation in behalf of an American Republic - those that are to benefit and protect all groups.

(And, finally, re: KOS' reference to untrustworthiness of human nature - whether in business or government...you can't leave out religious hierarchies either)

I guarantee that the Founders, whom right-wingers oddly LOVE to use as reference to promote their positions - including Hamilton and Adams (who were at opposition on issues in their day) - would all be turning in their graves right now.

I suspect Cindy's situation is a symptom of this massive deterioration.

Sorry for the diatribe, but - nah! Actually, I'm NOT!

Mr. Kos:

This link might make it a little mo' easy to git to the books:

http://tinyurl.com/32ln3p

Book info
Books are here:

http://search-completed.ebay.com/_W0QQ_trksidZm37QQcatrefZC5QQdfspZ1QQfbdZ1QQfclZ3QQfisZ2QQflocZ1QQfposZ91752 QQfromZR6QQfrppZ50QQfsooZ1QQfsopZ1QQfssZ1QQftrtZ1QQftrvZ1QQnojsprZyQQpfidZ0QQsaaffZafdefaultQQsabfmtsZ0QQsacatZQ2d1QQsacqyopZgeQQsacurZ0QQsadisZ200QQsaobfmtsZexsifQQsargnZQ2d1QQsaslZamparionQ2dgalleryQQsaslcZ0QQsaslopZ1QQsofocusZbs

Yes, all of that. The webdress is really that long.
(The book ad's are mixed in with some nice lingerie ones; no, don't ask. Yes, it is a long story.)

Email amparion@sbcglobal.net with any questions

KOS

Books
KOS: I must have missed the post, where do I go to see the offerings from Harlan's tittering tower of books? Much obliged.

Nouttin' Honey
Dear Harlan and Susan,

I got your message left this AM. Thanks for the kind words, and I will keep you apprised of the sales. It's no trouble at all, so if you wnt to send more books as they accumulate, by all means, away all packages!

Everything that's been paid for has been shipped, so those of you who bought, watch for packages.

Frank: Of course the market is soulless. Left to itself the market would sell your daughter's virtue (assuming you had a daughter) and human flesh by the pound. It's called "The Race To The Bottom" and is why I am NOT a libertarian or a believer in unlimited free markets or free trade.

I believ it wasAdam Smith who wrote something aong the lines of "You cannot get two or more businessmen alone in the same room for more than five minutes without them fixing prices."

See, i don't trust business any more than I do government. Human nature being what it is, good and evil, all mixed up and distibuted very unevenly, one cannot trust blindly in the goodness of others. Sometimes you roll seven, someies it's snakeyes. Sometimes you roll seven, but it's a "Seven-out". You just can't be sure,,l so you hedge your bets. You use government to restrict business, and you use economic freedom to keep government in line. Too much power on either side and you get a mess.

On the other hand, if you put ME in charge, (hah) I'll just take enough to keep me in clover and treat you all like prize herefords. Up The Empire! "I'm Here To Help You!"

ANd if you write the graphic novel I know a cracker jack artist (sheeit, they're all over this place) to draw the picksures fer it.

I see the movie version now: "A History Of Economics" starring Jack Nicholson as Adam Smith.

Or something like that.

KOS

To all of Y'all,
This is the greatest bunch of people. Your words eased the sting more than you know. I'm going to be okay. This gives me more time to spend writing the petition for removal I've been constructing for the past year or so. In Texas any resident of a county who has lived there for six months or better can bring a petition to the District Judge. If the Judge deems there is enough of a problem with the official to remove him from office he can order the District Attorney or the Attorney General's Office to bring the case before a jury. The jury would then decide whether or not to remove. In this case the Judge knows what's going on first hand. He's very wise and completely fearless. He sees me poking around the courthouse from time to time. He always smiles at me and asks if I'm still stirring up trouble. I grin and assure him I'm doing my best to. I just have to make sure I have every detail covered and each charge laden with conclusive information. It's all about specifics. Even if the jury ended up stacked with the Sheriff's friends-- even if they voted not to remove him; the information in the petition would show the voting public what he's been doing since he's been here. He's up for re-election.

Thank you again, each one of you-- you made my heart warm.
Love,
Cindy



Harlan,
Thank you-- I needed that.
:)
Cindy

CINDY, CINDY, CINDY

You are not a failure. You weep because you feel you have not done enough. Perhaps this is true, perhaps it is not. But you have done far more than lesser people have, and you will do far more in the future. No fight can be won unless it has begun. You have started a fight that needed to be started. For that, you should be immensely proud.

Good Luck and know that the thoughts of many people here are with you.

Cindy

Reporters who don't, periodically, argue with their management, or with the local authorities, are not worth a penny.

If it cost you your job, you're aces in my book for having the drive to stand by your work. That's honorable and commendable in my book.

Too few of your peers have the cajones not to get pushed around on a valid story or series of stories. But that's a fundamental part of the job, if you're ethical about it. Silencing the "media" is always the work of scumballs and criminals, just remind yourself of that. And any radio station that accepts advertising from the subject's spouse and runs it just before your broadcast is highly questionable in my view. It reeks, and not in a fine French cheese way.

Yes it hurts. Yes it pisses you off. Yes it costs you money. But -- and this is important -- ten years from now you're going to look back on this and take some very valid pride in your actions.

Trust me.

For what it's worth, you've got my deepest respect.



(Your editor, on the other hand, needs to grow a pair.)

Barney: thanks for your comments on the "penny book" phenomenon. I'm the guy who wrote _Other People's Treasures: Selling Books & CDs on Amazon.com_, & if my tiny publisher ever makes good on doing a 2nd ed, I might hit you up for blurbage &/or review. My little operation moves maybe $100 to $300/month, almost entirely obscure items I bought at 10/$1 at some thrift store or other (though I just sold a John Hartford CD from my collection for $45).

Those cheapass books are simply weird. A couple of times, I've ordered one as a reading copy, & received a near-mint item with minor imperfections, sometimes even tight. I mean, "wtf?" seriously applies here. I also shelled out $20 for a stolen library book -- which I returned gratis after contacting the library.

And I too am bugged by the "descriptions" like (not kidding) "WERE FABULOUS JUST LOOK AT OUR RATING'S BABY!!!" not to mention the ever popular "different book" & "we sell only new books, some items might have library markings."

Oh no, Cindy honey, no tears, don't let them see those tears; baby girl, fight the fight. Gooooooooooooo Cinders.

Call AP, New York Times, your alternative media around those parts, email fair, Fairness And Accuracy In Reporting, tell them your story, ask for advice. Email Project Censored, ask them too, they got's connections babe. Even Fox News, if you can, make sure you remind those bozos that you are one hot far right babe--and you are strapped.

The truth is the truth, only the left cares about actual reporting or reporters rights, find as many numbers as you can. I know it's hard babe, but the ACLU is the place, sugar snap.

Call around, be vigilant; do what Harlan said and carry. In this situation guns are your friend.

Don't be scared, be watchful like I know you can.

You are brave, strong and ready for action.

All you can do is fight. Much love.

---------------

Kos, the fact that a group of men, armed with box cutters, could hijack four planes and take on the US of A is comic book material as well, but it happened.

Cough:

"Landholders ought to have a share in the government, to support these invaluable interests, and to balance and check the other. They ought to be so constituted as to protect the minority of the opulent against the majority"

James Madison

"When I mention the public, I mean to include only the rational part of it. The ignorant and vulgar are as unfit to judge of the modes of government, as they are unable to manage its reins." The people are a "great beast"

Alexander Hamilton

"The people who own the country ought to govern it."

John Jay

"the Constitution was intrinsically an aristocratic document designed to check the democratic tendencies of the period," delivering power to a "better sort" of people and excluding those who were not rich, well born, or prominent from exercising political power""

Madison scholar Lance Banning.

You see that today with Swillary Clinton and Mittsey Rumrunner.

"Civil government, so far as it is instituted for the security of property, is in reality instituted for the defense of the rich against the poor, or of those who have some property against those who have none at all. "

Adam Smith

"DAVID BARSAMIAN: One of the heroes of the current right-wing revival... is Adam Smith. You've done some pretty impressive research on Smith that has excavated... a lot of information that's not coming out. You've often quoted him describing the "vile maxim of the masters of mankind: all for ourselves and nothing for other people."

NOAM CHOMSKY: I didn't do any research at all on Smith. I just read him. There's no research. Just read it. He's pre-capitalist, a figure of the Enlightenment. What we would call capitalism he despised. People read snippets of Adam Smith, the few phrases they teach in school. Everybody reads the first paragraph of The Wealth of Nations where he talks about how wonderful the division of labor is. But not many people get to the point hundreds of pages later, where he says that division of labor will destroy human beings and turn people into creatures as stupid and ignorant as it is possible for a human being to be. And therefore in any civilized society the government is going to have to take some measures to prevent division of labor from proceeding to its limits."

I see a graphic novel in your future Kos.

Forgive me for being Anal,
But it shoud be I can't "wait" to get into the stories

Cindy, Shatterday & Other Thoughts

CINDY: Let me just say, Don't let the Bastards get you down (too Much) Keep on keeping on, you seem to be fighting a just & noble fight & in the end I hope you prevail. An email to Mr Goldberg might not be a bad idea. From reading your posts on this site you seem to be a spiritual person I hope you find some solace in your faith.

SHATTERDAY: Today my copy of this inspired collection of short stories arrived from the States. Harlan the back cover is pure Ellison (but then what else would it be) I cant to get into the stories, I've read the introductions of a few & think I'll start with "ALL THE LIES THAT ARE MY LIFE" also does anyone have any information on Arthur Suydam who's painting adorns the front cover, Much Obliged

OTHER THOUGHTS: Truth be told I don’t really have any other thoughts I just liked the title. But as I sit here typing this I'm watching an old episode of MURPHY BROWN and it reminds just how great Mo-town & DAN QUAYLE jokes are & how lovely CANDICE BERGEN was & still is (BIG BOSTON LEGAL FAN) also JAN thanks for the links to the ELLSION & GERRALD Radio Interview (just finished downloading)

Best Wishes to All

Jarod Hitchcock

Cindy,

Be careful, watch your back, and don't give up fighting for what you feel is important! Keep your friends close and your self defense tricks closer. Don't give up.

***

Barney,

Thanks muchly for the advice. I prefer to adhere to the "if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is" horrific paraphrasing, and in this case I was right to do so. Your advice went a long way towards cementing this feeling and allowed me to ask the questions I needed answered so I could make an informed decision.


shagin

Rusty's Space Ship
Actually the one part of Kos' description that doesn't track with my memory of the book is the last part about "The Terra Terror" and "The Man in the Moon". Either I'm just misremembering that part, Kos is recalling two separate books as just one, or there are two books out there with very similar premises.

The one I read goes like this (and sorry for the spoilers if any of this thread compels you to track a copy down): Rusty builds a wooden spaceship in his garage, whereupon a little alien guy suddenly shows up and builds some kind of material onto it that allows it to fly, protects if from cosmic rays, etc. He wants Rusty to fly him to his home planet which he calls "Eopee", only he can't recall precisely where it is.

So Rusty and e.t. (not to be confused with the E.T. in a particular movie) go whizzing off around the solar system, taking tours of each planet in turn while Rusty takes some pills the e.t. gives him to supply him with oxygen, protect him from the cold, etc. There may have been at least one other kid along for the ride as well, but I don't remember for certain.

Eventually they get all the way out past Pluto, still not having found xenomorph's home planet. Finally e.t. recites some rhyme in his delirium that goes something like "I am ____ from Eopee/in Andromeda Galaxy", prompting Rusty to smack forehead as he realizes said critter ain't from around here.

Can't recall exactly how it ends, but Rusty and spaceship somehow end up back on terra firma in the garage and e.t. disappears along with the modifications to the ship. I think he told Rusty before he left that he found some alternate means of getting home, but again, it's been over 3 decades since I even saw a copy of this.

Books
Just a last word on the books: If you want one, at the opening bid price, you have until Sunday at 6PM Pacific Time. That's when I will relist them for the general public.

Well, Alex, I wish you luck. Of course there are exceptions to my "rule". Though I've to also say that I particlarly dread political types who are going to "help" me. But that's my bete noire, and what the hey, go for it.

Frank, what can I say? You make my case for me, admittedly with your own typical gusto and aplomb. You ought to write a book called "Franks Comic Book Guide To Politics And Economics". It would be a bestseller. Don't be offended that I would catalog it with the fantasy, as I am just that way.

Cindy: Sue the bastard. Fight the good fight. Sell the movie rights. Buy the radio station, fire the ball-less wonder. Then run for sheriff, win and clean house. Dagnabit, where is Joe Don Walker when you realy need him and that Big Stick?

My Susan made me look at her in two different dresses tonight. Wanted my opinion on which is better. Did I mention they were -wedding- dresses?

And I thought comedy was hard!?

KOS

ROGER: Excellent to hear that your mother's on the mend. may her recovery progress quickly and fully.

KOS: I hope to prove you wrong. If my current career trajectory with the union keeps on, I should have enough political and press contacts that I may just be able to run for Congress by decade's end, if I can leverage the funding.

And I want to be in Congress for the same reason I'm an elected union steward--because the work suits me, because I'm good at it, and because I help people for a living. There's no other good reason to run, if you ask me.

It's not "Power to the people" which should be the guiding light; it's power FOR the people; the people are elected officials' employers, after all.

(I'll admit to perhaps wanting to move from Congress to the Senate in due time, but not for personal power; rather, because it brings with it a greater opportunity to do good, and because not having to concentrate one's energies on running for office every other year will free up motre time to actually BE in office doing right by folks instead of continually SEEKING office.)

(Also, AMAZON has copies of RUSTY'S SPACE SHIP for sale for about $20-$25.
If anyone is seeking wonderful books of childhood memories whose names they cannot recall, there's a bookseller who solicits queries of this sort to "Stump the Bookseller", who is able to identify most of the entries offered: http://loganberrybooks.com/stump.html )

BARNEY: I really enjoyed Chabon's FINAL SOLUTIOZN (and have you read his GENTLEMEN OF THE ROAD? It's a fantasy, his Jewish version of Fafrhd and the Gray Mouser, and is quite excellent.
I will say, however, I hold a special place in my heart for Laurie King's Mary Russell novels and for the "Beekeeeper" issue of Rick Veitch's MAXIMORTAL comic book, as Holmesian pastiches go--and we simply CANNOT leave out the short story Isaac Asimov wrote featuring his Black Widowers ...

DAVID LOFTUS: Some advice, if I may. I love reading to people, and used to while away lazy weekends reading to my girlfriends--Milne's Pooh stories being a favorite. With those kinds of things, it's easy: Read the narration straight, and try to do distinctive voices for each character.
But now I face a conundrum.
My current girlfriend, though near-genius if not genius-plus in intellect, was horribly home-schooled; in point of fact, she was given almost no schooling at all, to the extreme where she had to teach herself to read with Nancy drew books at the age of NINE.
(and yes; I DO find that obscene.)

As you may expect, she has all sorts of holes in her reading.

I want to read to her as I did in the past, but I want to read her Shakespeare--the ones I love, like Much Ado About Nothing, Midsummer Night's Dream, Henry V, The Tempest ...

How would you, as a reader and actor, recommend I do this? Do I stop midstream to explain archaic words?
Do I preface each line by the name of the character who is speaking?

(Harlan, since you have so much experience at doing readings, do please feel free to pitch in on this.)

CINDY: As painful as this is, try to see it instead as an opportunity. No longer bound by the "proprieties" forced upon you and the worries of keeping this job, you can talk to NPR. Talk to your Congressman or state rep. Talk to the local U.S. Attorney.
And I second what Mark Goldberg said.

My prayers are with you, Cindy
Dear Cindy,

I admire your courage in doing what is right and fair. It is becoming rarer than I would like to believe. I pray that you will find better employment soon, as well as for the people being abused by this sheriff. Having a job that pays well, but costs too much is something I can empathize with.

You may already know this, but in his autobiography, David Brinkley said that when NBC used to air his reports on the civil rights protests in the 1960's, one of the NBC affiliates in North Carolina took it upon themselves to run reports by a local journalist, which would refute and rebut the statements made by the protesters (Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., A. Philip Randolph, et al.). Brinkley had heard of this reporter, because he knew of his reputation, which was that of a tinhorn.

The reporter in question was Jesse Helms.

Yours in prayer,
Brian Phillips

Watch yer back, podnuh!
Cindy:

I'm becoming more than a little alarmed, here. I think that what you're up to is important, and must be done.

I also think you may be in mortal danger.

Don't stop. Do whatever you can, whatever you need to.

Just keep in mind that the current administration has demonstrated that it's not too concerned about truth, justice, or the American way... unless they get to define the terms, in their favor. Every damn day brings another reminder, in plain sight, of this.

Make sure you don't have all your eggs in one basket, and make sure you know where your back is at all times.

And I don't think I'm being alarmist.

At all.

I'm getting the feeling I get when I walk through the room when the kids are watching some damn slasher pic, and something's just about to happen, and I know damn well that it's going to happen, but there's nothing I can do but keep walking and try not to look. Or listen.

Be careful. Please.

Cindy,

My condolences, been through the fired by an evil boss bit (the last time a week after my second child had been born) and know it hurts like hell.

Speaking as a Human Resources professional, you may have some protection from this. While pretty much all states allow termination for any clause (at-will employment), an employee may have cause in the courts if the company violated their internal procedures in terminating you.

Or, to put it in English, have they given you poor performance ratings, any warnings that you were doing a bad job before canning you? When others have been fired, what were the steps that were followed (formal warning, performance improvement plan, etc.) Did they follow these steps with you?

Finally, you might qualify under whistle-blower protection because of your unique circumstances. If I were you, I would talk to a lawyer ASAP, as you might very well have a case that you could win in court. Most employment law is heavily tilted towards the side of the employer but as you presented the information, it sounds like you would have an exceptionally strong case.

Shoot a message to my Gmail account if you would like to discuss this further off-line

Mark

Well shit, Cindy.

Fuckit.

Life sucks when your boss has no balls.

You need anyone to write to, talk to, cry on, drop me a line or give me a buzz. I'll give you my cell number if that'll work for you.

That "boss" of yours didn't deserve you. Remember that.

Remember that.

Chuck

Cindy -

Take a left turn and make friends with Randi Rhodes. She'll watch your back all the way.

CINDY:

(You know my voice, so hear this as me saying it aloud.)

Awww, gawdamighty shit, baby!

Fuckin' coward bastards!

Watch your back, watch your flanks. Tell your old man to keep the pumpgun handy.

Don't know what else to say.

With a hug, Harlan

LEE:

One of those "yentas" over whom you eavesdropped was very likely my dear now-departed mother, Serita R. Ellison. She was in Miami Beach her final decade or so, and when I went to visit we would stroll down Collins to Wolfie's.

It was the estimable Serita R. Ellison who taught her kid how to play Ninja Death-Rattle Gin Rummy at a half-cent a point.

She was a helluva mom to have to put with a ... me.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

If you get fired a few times in your life it probably means you're a decent person and not moving up the ladder in corrupt company like so many. Whether you quit or get fired doesn't matter, it's both because of standing up for what you believe in. You always pay a price for that. Those guys don't deserve to have you around. Hope it doesn't deter you too much, though your own life and family has to be your priority always, obviously. There's no shame in saying, "I did what I could."

It's scary how some people can vanish and no one really follows up on it, unless they're "important."

My boss fired me today. Y'all are going to laugh at this one but around one o'clock my time today I prayed that God would send me some kind of sign that that he's got my back in this Sheriff thing and that he is going to bring it to a conclusion soon--I'm so fucking tired. An hour later-- my boss calls and tells me I'm fired. The Sheriff showed up at the station several times since being elected and threatened him with a lawsuit if he didn't shut me up. I told my boss that the truth is always defensible in Texas and said it was important for people to know about the things the Sheriff is desperate to cover up. My boss told me not to do any more reports on anything that had to do with the Sheriff or his department. He said I was forbidden. I told him I would never quit working to help the poor people that the Sheriff has been victimizing. I told him he could fire me if he wanted but I wouldn't stop helping them. He said he wanted me to keep it off the air. Then he let the Sheriff's wife pay for an advertisement that he put on before my report every day, in which she basically called me ( by name) a liar and said nothing I reported on the Sheriff could be considered true. That ad ran five days a week every time I was on the air. She'd end the advertisement every day with, " Paid for by citizens for truth in reporting ." It was hard-- it felt like my boss held me down and let her and that criminal Sheriff black my eye every day. That rocked on for a good six weeks or so.

There have been huge things happening lately, a huge federal sweep of organized crime resulted in the arrest of one of the Sheriff's protected meth dealers. It was a name I had given to a Texas Ranger Lt. 18 months earlier. 22 indictments were handed down-- I had told the Ranger it was organized crime involving meth and guns. I told the Ranger that this particular individual was operating under the Sheriff's protection with his knowledge. I also told him I felt like the Sheriff was in the ring with some law enforcement officers in two and maybe four counties. A couple of weeks after the 17 arrests, a guy ends up burned up in his car-- parked outside his house maybe two miles from where I live. I gave the story to two reporters ( since I was under the boss's gag order) and they called Low who said there was nothing to it... that it had been a natural event and it wasn't a big deal. I got the report from the Bexar County Medical Examiner's office ( San Antonio) a few days ago. It said Francisco Escobar's body was so damaged they couldn't tell if he died before or as a result of the fire. The report also said that law enforcement had indicated Francisco had been positively identified, but it was the opinion of the M.E. that any identification could only be considered tentative. Not one word about the burned up man made it into the press-- not one word. The man was a Mexican national and nobody seems interested in finding out if he was who they said he was. There's more to this but it's all I can write here. There is an FBI agent in Austin, a lady with a very festive name. I keep sending her what I get-- I type it up and fire it off with a prayer that the pieces will fit together soon.

So, thirty minutes ago my boss calls me to tell me that I'm fired. He said my reports were so weak and I never reported on the Commissioners courts any more. I told him of course they've been weak because he is so afraid of the Sheriff. I told him it was a disservice to the public to withhold the truth. He said he wasn't interested in the truth. Then he amended his statement to, " I'm not interested in the truth as you perceive it". I said," The truth is the truth-- perception has nothing to do with it." My boss said he wasn't interested in it. I said, " That's funny-- that's exactly what the editor of the local paper told me ( a good friend of the Sheriff). I said, " I told HIM (right before he physically threw me out of his office) that I thought it was egregious that a news man would have such a complete and utter disregard for the truth-- and it's the same with you-- it's egregious." I told him it was wrong not to report the facts to the public. I guess I was a sell out to not quit as soon as he told me to shut up about the Sheriff-- the salary was nice. Now I feel like such a loser-- canned. What's the Lord's message here? I guess I should be relieved-- happy even-- I don't know why I'm cryin'. Such a baby.

: (
Cindy

Michael---You doubt my word? Well, yer in excellent company, as even my friends tend to doubt what I say as I frequently 'ad lib' the truth. However, when I speak of alternative health methods, I am speaking what I know to be true. New information may appear next week to change my mind.

Most food is grown on the same land for decades. The nutrients get depleted from the ground, therefore there are fewer nutrients in the foods we eat. Foods are processed so much that nutrients are leached from them. Notice that flour is often 'enriched'. The nutrients have been flushed out so much that artificial nutrients have to be put back in.

There are plenty of peer reviewed studies about natural health methods. I'm on dial up and the connection is real slow this week. I'll try to find some links. I've also registered for the other place, so I'll open a thread there soon so we don't waste everybody's time here.
==================
So, I was just about to email all my friends that Harlan Ellison was dying. After reading 'Geezus Peezus", I realize that I was indeed correct: Harlan Ellison IS dying and HAS BEEN dying since 1934. If you have some free time some weekend, have lunch with him and he'll tell you ALLLL about it.

KOS, economies work for the benefit of the elite and powerful, yes, you are correct. Wink.

Without economic justice there is no real freedom. You cannot enjoy freedom if economic hardship makes freedom nominal, or not important, beyond reality tv and football.

The richer you are the more freedom you can buy, this has been the truth from day one when the founding fathers made a constitution written for the benefit of land owners, not the rabble--us.

Complete Constitutional convention, that's what we need.

Even that playing field out.

----------

Harlan, we knew you were a cranky old man, nothing new there. Just stay whole until I can shake your hand, there buckaroo.

Love ya sweetpea.

Thank you Susan to both you and Harlan for your kind thoughts. It has been a tough week and a half. A good friend of mine for 30 years died last week after struggling with Alzheimer's for two years and his funeral was Friday which was the day I found out my mother would need surgery the following Monday. She is continuing to improve and I have four days off to try to get better myself,both physically and emotionally.
I did see "I Am Legend" after work today. I had not read the Matheson work the movie was made from, I am not even sure how to describe the movie. I just needed to be by myself for a couple of hours and that happened to be the next movie starting when I got to the theater.I'm sure most of you seen the trailers so enough said.

good play

I don't know how many of you like to read plays -- or even go to live theater -- but I just read a very recent play that is terrifically entertaining. If you get the chance, I recommend "Moonlight and Magnolias" by Ron Hutchinson -- not least because, apart from being very funny, it raises some of the serious issues that come up regularly here.

David O. Selznick has shut down filming on "Gone With the Wind" and fired George Cukor as its director. He's called in Ben Hecht for a rewrite and brought Victor Fleming off "The Wizard of Oz" to try to salvage -- actually, rewrite -- the entire movie in one week.

It's basically a three-man show in a single room (with occasional appearances by Selznick's secretary, Miss Poppenguhl). Since Hecht has to write the thing but he's never read the book, Selznick and Fleming narrate and act out a lot of scenes from the story for him. Hecht is unimpressed with the plot, and actively disgusted with some of its turns.

Questions about the nature of creativity, racism, and anti-Semitism surface. It's a great story.

Book dealers
***Shagin*** That's a complicated question depending on your needs but there are some basic rules of thumb I can describe that work for *Me* - both as a buyer and seller.

If you only want a reading copy then you might as well go low-ball and buy the damned penny book some housewife is selling. There is no way these people can stay in business and the book will almost invariably be beat to shit in some manner but you will generally get the book you asked for. The seller can make about $1.25 per book on the postage and that's the insane business model they are working from. We Real Booksellers look down are noses at these folks, but there's nothing to be done about it.

If you care at all about condition or edition then you come to me and my peers. We don't use our description lines for shite like "I ship daily" or "benefits a church bake sale!", etc. These sellers do ship fast but the quality of their books and their packing will generally be shoddy or the condition will tend to be about one grade off what you had hoped for.

My description lines tend to look like this;

Doubleday Anchor PB 1st edition / 1st printing. Square uncreased spine. No marks.

HC 1st edition / 1st printing. Fine in illustrated boards with gold stamping, no wraps - as issued. No marks. As new.

National Audobon Society TPB 1st edition / 1st printing. No marks. All 29 color stickers still bound in - not placed. Like new.

Etc., etc. Not much room for ambiguity there. I'll note if the cover is "as shown" or from a different edition. I'll answer any question a buyer might have in less than 24 hours. I will sell books in Good or VG condition if rare enough or obscure enough or if it amuses me to sell the book. But I always note spine creases
or blemishes or store stamps or if a book is ex. lib. I try to sell only Like new or As New but often it's worth lowering this standard. Plenty of folks NEED markup copies and will take a beat copy for this purpose. So I "got over" the pristine book snobbery awhile back.

Things to be wary of;

"Comes in brodart."

This should mean JUST that but often is code for "ex. lib. with all the ugly markings" and these dealers ought to be horse-whipped.

Feedback below 90%. You are probably dealing with a screwup or amateur. 100% is unlikely. 95% is where my feedback generally hovers. I was at 100% for 55 days and then Christmas came and I got a couple of REALLY fussy customers and they slammed me over a couple of $2.00 books. It happens. That means I generally disappoint about one in every 200 customers. I can live with this.

Final warning. If you ask for "points" on a book and they don't know - things like book club or specific edition - shine them on.
At least 5 times this year I had book dealers answer specific inquiries with lines like, "well, it seems like a 1st edition..." but if you ask them for a number line or a price on the wraps, they never get back to you. They are always trying to sell you book club. Which is fine if you want book club and maddening if you don't.

And now if you'll excuse me I have 62 books to pack between now and 3PM E.S.T. because you do not want to be in a post office after 3:15PM at this time of year.

- Barney Dannelke (Demon Bookseller of Sleet Street)

County of Bubblewrap
Dymoprinter, PA.

ps. Harlan - Chabon's FINAL SOLUTION is probably the best Holmes pastiche I've ever read. If you've not done so, bump it WAY up in the pile. It's set in 1944. Holmes is 89. Guess how pissy he is. Just guess. - B

Roger:

Our best wishes to you and your mum. Speedy recovery. That's an order.

Sincerely,

Susan

Well Harlan, just think of us as your overworried children, fussing over you with blankets and cocoa and smothering you with clucking concern and overt affection, making noise and getting underfoot and messing up the joint while you're trying to get some work done...

Ahem. Ok, maybe not so much a comforting analogy.

Nevertheless, we do care. Feel better.

W. Powell

"The Shy Stegosaurus of...." Haven't thought of those books in years. Thanks for reminding me.

Mike

If you insist on comparing a script to a commode (which tells you where AMPTP's heads are at when they're not up their own asses), then the writers aren't the ones who repair the fixtures. They're the ones who furnish the water, without which the fixtures are useless. And yes, as a matter of fact, the city does charge you every time you flush.

Steve J.

My Toilet Runneth Over
T
he point the toilet analogy misses is that someone IS collecting every time the throne is used. It's a pay toilet, baby.

D.

The plumber
"If you hired a plumber to fix your toilet would you expect to have to pay him every time you took a crap and successfully flushed?"

-NOW- you tell me?!

KOS

Plumber analogy

"If you hired a plumber to fix your toilet would you expect to have to pay him every time you took a crap and successfully flushed?"

My best answer to that: "No. However, if the plumber invented a brand new type of toilet after working on the problem for a year, one that saved water and warmed your ass in the winter, and millions of people all across America rushed out to buy this guy's new toilet, then I think he'd be entitled to make a few cents on every unit sold, don't you?"

MM

Stephen wrote: "A while back, Shagin mentioned that "Writers certainly don't take years to perfect their craft." I beg to differ. And I can't believe I am alone in this."

Sarcasm, my dear fellow, hearty, hell bent sarcasm in keeping with the post it self and the frustration of idiots who don't understand prevailing wage or how time and training can affect a craft.


shagin

KOS
No! Stephen's incorrect, although I've read the Mushroom Planet books and they're cool.

The book Kos is looking for is called "Rusty's Space Ship", written by Evelyn Sibley Lampmann. Read it in the fifth grade, along with "The Shy Stegosaurus of Cricket Creek" and "The Shy Stegosaurus of Indian Springs" by the same author. (My interest in space and sf can probably be traced back to the former more than anything else.)

It shows up on eBay from time to time, but usually priced rather high.

Ellison will prevail
Harlan,
Sorry to hear of your ailments.
But if you attack them with the same vigor as all your other enemies, I'm sure you will prevail.
As to Alzheimer's, even if your mental capacity was halved, you'd still be able smarter than the average bear. ( politician, studio exec, Fox news anchor, ect. )

Funniest thing I heard about the strike today, out in deepest darkest new jersey: those writers are all overpaid, where do they get off asking to be paid again and again for the same work? if you hired a plumber to fix your toilet would you expect to have to pay him every time you took a crap and successfully flushed?

file that under "some people just don't get it"

KOS: I believe the book is _The Wonderful Flight to the Mushroom Planet_ and that it was written in 1956. I might have the year wrong, pretty sure about the title.

A while back, Shagin mentioned that "Writers certainly don't take years to perfect their craft." I beg to differ. And I can't believe I am alone in this.

I hope Harlan is keeping a daily diary of the strike, as only he can. With his unexcelled use of colorful methaphors and penchant to cut through the bullshit and get right to the heart of the matter, it would be a real page turner and a good insight into the inner workings of a bona fide justified labor action. Plus the cast of characters would be a veritable who's who.

Stephen

Harlan,

You just brought back a forgotten entertainment that I used to love when touring Miami. There was a place called Wolfie's Deli at Collins and 21st where you could get all the usual offerings of a Great Jewish Deli. A few of us used to spy out a table of 4-6 classically dressed yentas holding court - thick rimmed glasses with done up hair and huge breasts draped in parti-colored chunky jewelry. We would sit at a nearby table savoring cheese blintzes and homemade potato peirogies with sauteed onions and sour cream. We'd wash everything down with hot black coffee and listen to the conversation.

I swear it was a respectful sort of eavesdropping.

The pitch, breadth and passion of their densely woven health narratives were a thing almost poetical. Ovid couldn't do an operation like a table full of yentas.

Wolfie's and the fact that Ringling Brothers Circus was often playing the other end of the community center where we rehearsed was about all there was to like about Miami. Though we got to know the clowns and hang out by the animal cages between rehearsals, we never did take the clowns to Wolfie's. Some things make no sense in hind sight.

Book Title Question
Harlan,

Mailed you an invoice and cover letter the other day, to the P.O.B. We've sold a few books, and I expect to sell more when they are listed for the general public.

Also, I have taken glaucoma med's of one sort or another for twenty years. If you have questions, ask them if you will.

Book search:

Looking for the title of a book, and/or author's name: This book was published in the fifties or early sixties, as I read a library copy around 1962. It was Children's SF, about a boy in a suburb who decides one day to build a "spaceship" out of scrap lumber and odd bits of junk. After nearly finishing he decides his craft needs a "nosecone", and finds a thin, round piece of shiny, flexible metal. He nails the round metal thing to his ships' nose, and then hears a complaining cry. From out of a corner of the boy's garage comes a little alien (I think a little green lizard thing) saying something along the lines of "Hey, that's my flying saucer you just nailed to that thing! Give it back!)

Anyway, the kid makes friends with the alien, and they discover they cannot get the flying saucer off of the wooden spaceship safely, so the kid talks the alien into using the wooden spaceship, since with the "flying saucer" nailed to it, it now has the ability to fly into outer space (seems logical to me!)

Anyway, the alien gives the kid "oxygen pills" so they can survive the lack of air, and they travel all over the solar system, from the moon to I think Pluto? They were looking for something, not sure what though after all these years.

The kid's wooden spaceship was named "The Terra Terror". They meet the Man In The Moon. At the end they get the flying saucer off the wooden spaceship, and the alien leaves.

Can anyone help with the title or name of the author?

Thanks!

Frank: I gots no problem with Chavez. He's elected, he's a clown, he's innocent (like most socialists) of any real knowledge of how economies work, and my attitude is that of John Adams, "We are the friends of liberty everywhere, but the guardians of only our own." If Chavez turns into "Fidel Light", clinging to power after thirty or more years like a junkie hovering over his last gram of China White, well, that's Venezuela's tragedy and none of mine.

I just think it funny that you think ANY politician loves ANYthing more than power. Every last one of them is a deeply flawed soul who would walk over their mother for the chance to be Top Dog. In other words, not very different from anyone else, only more so.

No one would give Uncle Hugo a listen if he didn't control all that Venezuelan Sweet Crude and why in the world are we still burning stuff to run our civilization? Isn't it The Future yet? Solar Power satellites and nuclear power and we can let the dinosaur's rest in peace.

And as a great sideshow effect: The Conspiracy Types will just go "Bugfuck" over Solar Power Satellites. I'm gonna get stock in ALCOA 'cause they're gonna sell TON'S of foil once that first SPS system goes on-line.

KOS

GEEEZUS PEEEZUS, GANG!

Jews only know three things in this life.

1) Guilt (as opposed to Shame, which Catholics know)

2) Chinese food

and

3) The location of every ache or pimple on their body.

Of which, especially,

OLD

Jews will bore your asses off describing each and every, in pustulent detail and living color, not to mention SenSurround High-Def Kvetching.

Had I realized, had I the brain power of a bedroom slipper insole, had I understood that I was opening such a door, I would've kept all that nominal shit to myself. I am JUST FINE, kids. I swear, Heavens to Betsy, and Back to Heavens for a double-play, I am in no pain, no suffering, no malaise. Crikey, what an old lady! Bitch bitch bitch, ooowee, has'ums got a widdle pain?

I ask your forgiveness. Very unseemly, nobody's business but mine own, and just fuckin' stupid.

It is beginning, at last, to dawn on me: I am not perfect.

With chagrin, Yr. Pal, Harlan

Speaking of Science Fiction
I'm fond of interview books, and there's one I'd been looking for called Speaking of Science Fiction by Paul Walker (1978) which has become impossible to find at reasonable prices. It has 31 writers from Asimov to Zelazny, including Harlan, Farmer, Simak, Moorcock, Bloch etc. Ann, the editor and typesetter, is selling her final stock of about ten. "All hardcovers are shrinkwrapped. The paperbacks are not, but all are new, some with minor imperfections just from being stored so long. Hardcover $19.95, paperback $9.95, U.S. shipping $7.00." Thought someone else might be interested too, and will gladly put you in touch with Ann, or you write her at: com aol at Dragonpad (in reverse order). She even accepts paypal, I think. The leftovers will go out on ebay.

TREK picket audio interview/outburst/banter with Harlan and David Gerrold (by Tanja Barnes):
http://wgastrike2007.blogspot.com/2007/12/wsc-show-35-star-trek-day-harlan.html

More Harlan stories on Scribd (ostensibly arranged with Harlan):
http://www.scribd.com/people/view/160206-harlanellison

I just got my mother home from the hospital yesterday. They found out after a week and a half of tests that she had a blood clot in her neck, that was removed very early Monday morning, I about freaked out when I went to see her after work Monday night when they told me at the front desk her room was in intensive care/cardiac care. She was better than I had feared and the surgery had been completed successfully. The swelling in the right side of her face is pretty drastic and she cannot eat anything solid yet, and she cannot drive herself anywhere for 2 weeks, but all in all she came through the proceedure pretty well.

HE's HEalth
I offer no cures, no prayers to a nonexistent Deity, only Best Wishes for recovery and continued good health from one mortal to another.

Mr. Ellison,

Hang in there. I'll be right beside you with the eyedrops for the glaucoma concerns, we'll bitch about the diabetes while we what we can (and sometimes what we want), I'll prattle on about cataracts and arthritis, and you can gripe about CFS and nerve pain. We'll make it, sir, because we're too damn cussed to give up and it would upset our spouses if we did.


*****


Barney,

I have an odd question for you, and expect an odd, if sincere, answer in return. What qualities should I look for in an online book seller? With a storefront I can examine the physical merchandise for a better understanding of value or quality; that's not as easy online. Any tips or words of wisdom?


shagin

rx
Harlan- if there's anything i can do, Susan has the number. i'm going to repeat something i've mentioned in 2 separate letters as a cautionary tale to others. when i was 2 i had a seizure. they said epilepsy; did eegs and gave me dilantin. for 4 more years the eegs suggested epilepsy and so they kept me on dilantin. no more eegs. at 17 i was taken to the hospital with convulsions. was never an epileptic. dilantin, given to a non-epileptic, just sits there in your system until it poisons you. wat i'm saying is this: question everything, start at the beginning and go over what they say you have, what you're taking, any effects, any interactions. this is not to say that anyone is a bad doctor or has made a bad diagnosis. something may be true monday that isn't true on friday. take care, Harlan, and be well. i remain, as always, obediently yours.

I'm going to keep posting pro-Chavez stuff until you mooks get the picture that the guy is NOT a damned dictator. He is a skilled comedian and scourge of Bush, which is very attractive to victims of the United Snakes everywhere.

http://www.zmag.org/content/showarticle.cfm?SectionID=45&ItemID=14480

--------------


Next, they will go after football, mark my words. OJ may finally get some badly needed press.

Eyeballs, etc.

HARLAN: So very sorry to hear about your health troubles. In general, I'm not sure I approve of this falling-apart-as-we-age concept. I'm positive I didn't vote for it. Did I miss the plebiscite?

Here's hoping your eye drops do the trick, and the very best to you with the various other troubles.

(this said despite the fact that you have completely ignored my earth-shatteringly important cookie question)

ALAN: I'm trying real hard to be an open-minded fellow regarding everyone's various healthcare ideas, but: "It is nearly impossible to get the nutrients your body requires solely from food" ??

Do you have some data on that one? From, maybe, a published peer-reviewed study? It just seems like if that were true then there wouldn't be any creatures walking the Earth.

Skeptically,

MM

Tony R.:

Your HERC membership is fine. No need to worry.

Susan

Wish they could pace up that genome technology!

Yeah - glaucoma got my mother before she passed away a few years ago. I'm glad you've been spared THAT misfortune!

Natural treatments are for everybody and for every ailment. I recommend them for all. This is one of the things that I never thought about when younger, but endorse to all my friends today.

The problem with natural treatments is that so few people are trained in them that it is very difficult to get information from friends and neighbors, so that many people never hear of them. Then there is the problem of poor quality food supplements being sold. And there is also, unfortunately, quackery.

People get fragile bones because they do not retain enough calcium. It's usually not because they do not ingest enough calcium, it is because they do not get enough Vitamin D in order to process the calcium. Recommended amount of Vitamin D is 400 IU (International Units) per day, yet evidence shows that humans might need 2000 IU daily.

All heart patients should be taking Coenzyme Q-10, Magnesium, L-Carnitine, fish oil, and D-Ribose, and maybe a few others.

Just about all people should be taking fish oil or flaxseed oil.

Angina sufferers can usually get relief through EECP, Enhanced External Counter Pulsation, a process where blood pressure cuffs are used on parts of the body to force blood backwards. Sounds unreal, I realize, but it has been used for over 50 years. Sometimes, Olympic class athletes use it to increase blood flow without resorting to drugs. I have heard that Medicare will pay for EECP, but I cannot confirmed that.

Diabetes patients should walk a minimum of 10 minutes after every meal. Diabetics should be taking Chromium Picolinate every day, among many other vitamins.

All people should be taking a daily multivitamin supplement. It is nearly impossible to get the nutrients your body requires solely from food.

Those are just some of the things I have studied in the past few weeks. I listen to www.healthytalkradio.com whenever possible, either on the radio or online. There are thousands of sites on the internet that explain natural treatments and which vitamins and other supplements are beneficial to any ailments. Look for Applied Kinesiologists or Naturopathic Doctors in your local phone book. Some medical doctors are using this kind of information. They usually advertise themselves as Complementary and/or Integrative Physicians.

Good luck and good health to all!

HARLAN,

"Aw-shit?" The first phrase that comes to my mind is "Oh, FUCK me."

There are many diseases and afflictions I can forgive the Higher Forces for, but Alzheimer's is inexcusable. My body may rot into a putrid husk, but for God's sake let my brain be the last thing to go!

As for your own health dilemmas...try watching THE WHALES OF AUGUST. That movie does a suprising job at relaxing one's mindset to the point where even physical ailments become invisible.

HARLAN - A mixed bag of health issues, but at least the one (glaucoma or not glaucoma) is the right answer. It seems as if you, like me, are suffering from weight-associated ailments from the rest of it. I have an appointment myself next week that I ain't looking forward to. Have you checked out Byetta yet?

(Maybe we ought to challenge each other to a weight-loss regimen??? AFTER dinner at Prizzi's, that is...)

Just sayin'.
_______________________________________________

So. The scoop is more of a non-denial denial.

Whatever they are filming at City Hall in Long Beach is enormously secretive. I've lived and worked here for 20+ years and we've never had this kind of security for a shoot.

The City Hall-facing side of the municipal parking structure has been fitted with floor-to-ceiling chain-link fences, with a green plastic fabric attempting to block any view from that end of the structure.

In the large courtyard between City Hall and parking, a similar fence (roughly eight feet tall) has been erected to isolate a section of the plaza. Within that structure is yet another large white canvas -- hung almost as if it's a temporary outdoor movie screen -- that has been built underneath the building's overhang, effectively creating a very big "outdoor room" with the (fairly immense) overhang of the building as the roof. Not sure if it might be a green screen on the other side, but I'm at a bit of a loss to explain why they went through the effort to coming to Long Beach just to block any view of the plaza.

All employees have been told not even to speculate as to what is being filmed -- but walking down the hallways of CH I heard "Star Trek" at least three times in casual conversation.

There are more security guards guarding this one film shoot than guarding City Hall itself...

(And there's absolutely NO truth to the rumor that I walked past the white sheet and yelled "Hey look! Harlan Ellison's here!" and got a high-pitched girly-scream in response...)

(JUUUSSST KIIIDDIING!)

From the department of "For What It's Worth"

Harlan - I'm so sorry to hear about Mr. Pratchett. Cancer and Alzheimer's are the two booby traps of our existence, with the latter being an almost sublime "fuck you" to anyone who has devoted his/her life to creative output and sharing of intellect. Just you mentioning the possibility of such a diagnosis for yourself scares the hell out of me, as you are a cornerstone, dear sir. Your fears of glaucoma, along with the health problems that you listed, make me think of Stephen King. I remember him deciding to drift away from fiction at one point (someone correct me about King facts - I speak from opinion and a somewhat murky memory, and I've only read a handful of his novels . . . or two handfuls, as they tend to be pretty robust), and then, after his accident, he returned with a fury. It was a wake-up call for him, and I think he realized that he should never turn his back on his gift. I wonder, as the body works hard to interfere with your love of life, if one message of these symptoms could be that you can never quit, never roll over, never stop being the wildly creative pain in the ass who motivates, entertains, enrages, and always provokes some sort of reaction. You force people to think by being intolerant of lazy stupidity. I would never expect you to be a quitter, and I don't infer that at all from your communications on this board. I just think that these things you mention have the danger of making anyone's mind weary, but the YOU inside could never roll over. You're the toughest person I've ever "known" (as a guy who has only shaken your hand once at a signing). Lawrence Tierney tough.

To Susan - Thank you for the HERC subscription, and the package! You Ellisons are more than generous.

-Jim

Dangerous visions, indeed
Harlan,

C'mon man. It's your own fault for going through seven decades projecting your vision of reality like the Greek Euclid and his metaphors of impressions on wax seals instead of sitting back and receiving reality like the rest of us poor saps. That's gonna cause some serious eye-strain. Blame yourself.

As for the news about Terry, well, this just goes on my large pile of evidence that the god some of you still believe in really really REALLY has no sense of humor whatsoever.

Big love to you and yours pretty much the year round - Barney

County of basement -
Packingtable, PA.

One nice gesture we could all do for botH Harlan and Terry
Go to a store (not a used one--doesnt really COUNT on the 'books') but a BORDERS or BARNES AND NOBLE next week (i dunno- maybe organise a mass buying day) and BUY a book each of these fine writers have written.

Lets do it in a mass buying frenzy

Perhaps it will make enough of an impact where the publisher will have to do reprints which (should) will give a bit more money to them so that later on when the medical bills begin to pile up they'll have the extra bit of cash

hi harlan, susan and everyone. Harlan, I was very sorry to hear about your health problems. I too suffer from a variery of ailments. I'm going to suggest some things that have helped me. You can all laugh out loud now, as this is nontraditional stuff. First, herbs: I bought a book by a RN/herbal practioner as my regular medicine has stopped working on a variety of thing. I'm sure that a licensed herbal person could also help you too, but it's been neat learning about teas and things that help. I've peppermint tea, green tea, nettle tea for pain and a couple pill garlic and etc. I've had decent success with lowering my bp, reducing arthritis pain and stiffness, and being not so tired. Also, and this is the part where you all will really laugh at me, I've started trying crystal therapy on my own. It helps some, especialy with sadness and tiredness. There are crystal therapists too, but I'm doing it on my own, because I like to learn about different things. I'm at my sister's house, so I don't have my books with me, but I can post the titles next time I post. I've found the books informative and helpful. I'm also thinking about trying acupuncture, but I haven't found one yet. Harlan, I hope all your health problems work out soon. You and Susan will be in my thoughts and prayers. And I really have gotten some help and relief from the herbs, more so than the crystals.Take care

Hey Harlan,
You're still beautiful, my friend. Nothin' will ever change that.
:)
Cindy

Harlan,

Arrested glaucoma is better than a conviction, I guess. As to the rest, if there's ever anything I can do to help clear away the gloom, please let me know.

Good Vibrations

Unca Harlan,

Here's-to-better-health vibes go out to you. Getting old is indeed a bitch. And as Bette Davis once said, "not for sissies".

Harlan,

Hadn't heard about your health problems to that detail before. Sorry you have to deal with it all. I hope anything that can happen for your betterment, does.

All the best
Jason

Hi Harlan,

Sorry to hear about you health issues. Hang in there (it beats the alternative) and Cindy and I send great health thoughts your way.

J. Argendeli

p.s. I should add that we contacted the doctor who performed the study and he added that his son, who suffers/ed from CFS, made a significant improvement after treatment.

Harlan, Were you aware of the recent (summer) medical article linking CFS to an infection of the stomach? If not, I have a copy of the article from the medical journal that I'd be happy to fax you. My girlfriend also suffers from CFS and we're always searching for any scintilla of a cure.

Bostonians! Friday December 14event in support of the WGA strike
http://community.livejournal.com/pandemonium_bks/145387.html

Dirk's note
(Sorry Rick, but I wont be posting for a few days, so it'll even out)
DIRK: the "although" was meant as a qualifier because my note had nothing to do with Harlan. I dig Springsteen's music and lyrics, so no slight on him.
-DTS

Harlan's note
HARLAN: First of all, damn shame about Mr. Pratchett. Here's hoping he outruns the disease as long as he can.

As for your ailments, sorry to hear about the glaucoma (and I've always been sorry you have to suffer through Epstein Barr -- my mom has it), and I hope you fair well in dealing with both: the rest? Well, the rest should just be chalked up to living life to the fullest. (Even though he sounds a bit Pollyanna, Herr Hitchcock is right in taking a glass half full outlook). I've been dealing with all sorts of recurring aches and joint pains since my 30s (due to accidents I survived on motorcycles, etc), tinnitus since '03, the lower disc problem since '05 (it makes trying to get a good night's sleep without waking up to back pains a challenge) and an apparent case of carpal tunnel for about a year and half now (the numbness wakes me up in the middle of the night sometimes). And that's just the stuff I can remember at the moment! And hell, I'm only a third of your age! (Okay, my math skills are off -- maybe not a third). I figure all the aches and pains and injuries (and numerous scars) are well-earned badges of a life spent actually _living_ and experiencing things -- big and small!

Just today, me and my boy -- a terrific dog (staffordshire terrier and boxer mix) named Irving -- had to try and get back home from the vet (last week, in his not-quite-two-years old exuberance, he went tearing around the back yard and hit a patch of moss lying just in front of wall which he usually avoids with a quick cut to the right -- he broke his leg -- and has never ONCE howled or whined about it -- tough little fucker)...where was I? Oh, yeah: today, me and the boy found ourselves ignored by every cabbie within hailing (and, apparently, telephoning) distance. After an hour of such nonsense, I hoisted him up on my shoulders -- being careful to squat as I did so -- and took him home in a fireman's carry (same way McQueen did for you, ages ago). We had to stop once or twice -- to give my lower back a rest, and to let Irving take a pee -- but we _both_ actually enjoyed the mini-adventure (the various Aussies that passed us by in their cars probably thought I was practicing some new type of American-born exercise).

Don't let life get ya down, Harlan. You're still alive and kicking, and enjoying your time with Susan -- hang in there, buddy.

Cheers,
Dorman

Harlan, I know you have plenty of supportive friends. But if this stuff is getting you down and you think a fresh listening ear could help, you have my number.

Harlan,

Chip up Old Boy!

Take the good news where you can get it & fuck the rest.
No doubt that list of aliments keeps you up at night (as it would all of us). The only advice I would offer is to maintain your Rage & Enthusiasm for life & all the shit that comes with it.

Think about it you've made it into your mid seventies, you have the pleasure of the lovely Susan's company, Your well respected writer, a true success in your chosen vocation & a snappy dresser to boot!

As Woody Allen said "Life is filled with misery & sadness & it's all over much to quickly"

Regards

Jarod Hitchcock

For the few close friends who knew:

I had the full glaucoma eye exam today, at the former Sinskey Institute (now the Assil-Sinskey Institute) in Santa Monica. This in the lee of Monday's after-picketing eye exam, the report from which led off with two words you never want to hear in juxtaposition:

"Glaucoma suspect."

Apparently, I have "abnormally thick corneas," "optic hypertension," and very healthy optic nerves. I have been initiated into a regimen of eye drops every night before bedding down, to lower the pressure in my right eye. Less so my left.

Apparently...I am not going to drift into glaucoma darkness.

I confess to having been a mite twitchy for the last few days.
Now all I have to worry about is the Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, the stage-two diabetes, the 75lb weight-gain, the high-blood pressure, the trapped nerve from shoulder to wrist in my right arm, the hairline fracture of my left foot, the dry-eye from the Valley fever allergies, the rum tummy, and ... of course ... the ongoing fear of ALL old farts, Alzheimer's.

And not to make any fu7n of it all, perhaps you have not heard that our friend, the quick and clever Terry Pratchett, has in fact been diagnosed with Alzheimer's; and it is the fast-moving type. The word aw-shit comes to mind.

Otherwise, shit is mostly quiet around here. See you on the line tomorrow.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

A casually dropped wisecrack in the December 14 issue of "Entertainment Weekly" irritated me sufficiently that I finally sent them an e-mail to complain about it. The opening sentence of the "News & Notes" column reads as follows: "Hollywood writers might be forced to hawk their Rolexes to pay for holiday gifts if the strike drags on much longer." This is in the context of pointing out that the staffers of late night talk shows are being rescued from holiday season penury by Leno, Letterman, O'Brien, and Kimmel paying the staffers out of their own pockets. Leaving aside the fact that Lynette Rice, who wrote the piece, doesn't seem to know the difference between "hawk" and "hock," I found this snarky little opener offensive because it plays into the nasty stereotype of screenwriters as pampered millionaires just looking to pad their already bloated bank accounts. Sad to say, this is a stereotype that is being advanced on a daily basis by AMPTP surrogates with a completely straight face. Even sadder to say, it appears to have considerable traction in certain quarters. That being the case, "Entertainment Weekly" has no business endorsing it, even with a wink and a smile.

This is the text of the e-mail I sent to EW: "The opening sentence of your December 14 News & Notes column, 'Funny Money To the Rescue,' was as offensive as it was misleading. I would have expected that a publication that styles itself as being in the know about the world of entertainment would know better than to fall for the simpleton's stereotype that all screenwriters are millionaires. The fact is that the vast majority of screenwriters depend upon residuals in order to be able to sustain even a modest standard of living. To blatantly sacrifice accuracy in this way for the sake of a cutesy opening hook for a column is unconscionable."

I should point out, by the way, that this publication as a whole does not seem to be anti-WGA. A recent column by Mark Harris carries the headline "Why the Striking Writers Are Right." What we have here, I'm convinced, is a columnist who dashed off a supercilious little opening line in an effort to be clever, and in the process was more than willing to prop up a harmful stereotype so that she could crack wise. But her editor, who presumably has more of an investment in accuracy than in her cleverness, ought to have caught it and corrected it.

Steve J.

Haggis
Hey, Haggis is great! Love it with a good whiskey cream sauce or mustard sauce. Not all haggis is created equal of course, every outfit has their own recipe. I was always partial to the one from the local grocer down Deeside Road near where we lived in Scotland. (Kelly of Cults).

And if you're worried about all those horrid ingredients you hear tale are in Haggis, well... if you eat most of the hot dogs or saugages in the states you've probably have had just as bad and don't know it.

I feel haggis and whiskey both represent in the culinary tradition the indomitable spirit of the Scottish people, surviving throughout history in some of the most difficult of conditions. They demonstrate the extreme lengths to which man will go to create food and alcohol from the most meager of ingredients. (Sadly, I never developed the taste for whiskey though I did learn to appreciate the varying qualities of the different styles and regions.)

Some noms de plume for KOS:

Walter "Wally" Lazlo

Bruce Whitewater

Perry Rodin

Jackson Rodriguez

Douglas Mertz


And thanks to those who added to my list of **Cuisine I'll Never Try, Even at Gunpoint**. Before today, it was only Haggis and Spotted Dick.

Chuck

Actors and Boeing
Interesting. Actors at Beoing in Anaheim.

My ex-wife, when she was not yet "ex-" worked at the Anaheim Boeing, before rotating to Irvine, and now is at Huntington. I lived about two miles from that Huntington Beach one when it wa still McD (and yes resistance is futile, whether it be to my -ex-eife or either Boeing or DIsney. I anticpate with some angst their merger just prior the edchaton, which will doubtless be greatly immanentized by that unholy aliiance, by which name I refer to The Merger, not to mention my former marriage.)

My father had a business in a small town, where once for two weeks Clint Eastwood took over "our" parking lot, abutting directly onto the back door of the establishment, all in support of the filming at a local landmark of a portion of one The Clint's early 80s efforts. Every (presumably) unattached woman in town between 12 and 50 (being charitable here. I think a few were pushing retirement age) gathered daily to stare at The Clint and his co-stars. Occasionally The Clint would go over and press the flessh. It wa like The Beatles arriving at JFK. Madness. What a zoo, indeed.

But we didn't let the actors use our restroom either. That may have been because it was a unisex one-holer, with cracked seat, that unpredictably betimes would spray cold water all over the floor and/or your ass when flushed.

It was one heck of a great "wake Up Call" if you were having trouble getting started in the morning.

Why did Hitchcock refer to actors as "cattle"? I think it was because he had already screwed all sheep.

Just one man's opinion.

Baaa.

KOS

Things you do not want to hear while decorating for the holidays #241: "Honey, I'm at the doctor. I have a hernia and it's pretty bad. They're scheduling me for surgery either tonight or tomorrow. Can you come get me?"

Who'sa'fuck'a'wha'nutz?!!


*sigh*


shagin

The Maltin books contain reviews from all sorts of people. I had a film prof in the mid-80s who was hired each year to review a dozen or more movies per edition. His specialty was horror B movies, and that's what he was assigned.

The ironic thing is Rob ate the chicken.

----------

Harlan, ask Maltin one of these days how in in holy hell he was able to view all of the films in those books? The guy must have bleary eyes.

-------------

Speaking of Maltin:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=67TiW9dsmU8

Boeing Boeing


:: signs on some of the restrooms saying "Boeing Employees
:: Only, No Actors". I have no idea why actors can't be
:: trusted in some restrooms.


Makes no sense to me, either. (We) Actors can't be trusted ANYWHERE.

Kim,
Thanks for that description of how we Califuckingfornians spend our morning and afternoon. That one still brings a grin the next day. And I join the large crowd who enjoyed the tale of the Ice Cream Summer.
Chris,
Connie works at Boeing in Anaheim, the old Rockwell Autonetics facility. Just this week she told me that there are actors in one of the buildings. Trailers parked outside and signs on some of the restrooms saying "Boeing Employees Only, No Actors". I have no idea why actors can't be trusetd in some restrooms. Anyway when I see the new Star Trek movie, whatever multi-generational web it turns into, I will have to look for any familiar sights. I worked there for over 10 years.
The Huntington Beach plant where I work (used to be McDonnell Douglas, also now Boeing, resistance is futile) has a large Underwater Test Facility (translation: pool) which was used in the 4th ST movie, with the whales. That was before I worked there but I was there when they used it for Waterworld. What a zoo. The secretaries would hang by those trailers all day if there had even been rumor of a Costner sighting. A few times he came out and gave them really sweet messages, like "Why don't you people go back to work?"
As always, a good day to all here and all affected by the strike.

ROB and BRIAN - Thank you for finding and posting the link to the Welles/Wells interview. I hadn't heard this before either. Great stuff.
_______________________________

Rumors are running rampant that the new Star Trek film is shooting down at Long Beach City Hall (which was, previously, "destroyed" by the Cylons in the original Galactica series first episode).

LB is used for location shoots in hundreds of tv show episodes, films and commercials every year, so it could be any number of other production crews. (Okay, so they TELL you it's "Miami", "Vegas" or "Chicago" or "The OC", but it's really just us kids on the coast)(We're kind of a "body double" for America, it seems.)

I have a meeting at CH this afternoon and will ask those "in the know" who's really filming.

Rob:
Orson didn't use H. G's story without permission. He (or CBS) bought the radio rights for a one time broadcast. No matter what Herbert George said to Orson in 1940, he was said to be quite upset immediately after the broadcast, having had no idea that his story would be so freely adapted, and false news broadcasts would be used.

Rob, thanks for posting that account of the Wells/Welles conversation. For what it's worth, it can be found at: http://sounds.mercurytheatre.info/mercury/401028.mp3

Fans of old movies might enjoy The Unsung Joe, a website devoted to tracking down information on _very_ minor bit-part actors of golden-age Hollywood, at
http://morethanyouneededtoknow.typepad.com/the_unsung_joe/

I haven't been posting here much for lots of reasons. The big reasons are Insanely Busy, and Lack of any Expertise on the Writer's Guild Strike.

Life and Death of Jesse James
In my bi-weekly Eat this Essay lunchtime meeting, we will be discussing Josh's essay "The Life and Death of Jesse James." The story resonates even more clearly now than when I first read it 2 months ago, especially in light of the MySpace suicide tragedy.

Upon re-reading it, I did wonder about something: what was it that prompted Tania and Will to investigate Janna? Had Janna said or done something after Jesse's supposed death to make them suspicious of her?

Thanks,

Mark

Rob, i can imagine what that was like, and what you wrote just then made me smile, smile, smile. It made me think of the first time I heard Welles voice for the first time. I was 12 when I first started taking out and listening to the Hagerstown Public Library's Classic Records section, 4 at a time, two weeks, return promptly! I had already read Sherlock Holmes, and knew it as a radio show, but here there were records, I could hear them, 33 revolutions per minute (RPM's) that I could listen to in the privacy of my own room. I only knew the names of people, and i was just beginning to understand that they held a power over the imaginings I was listening to. John Gielgud, Ralph Richardson. Gielgud, I knew from ARTHUR, god help me, but i was eleven, and i can, to this day, only watch Gielgud's scenes from that aberration.

But those albums! I don't know if you've heard the War of the Worlds broadcasts, i assume so, but his voice was nothing like i expected. In the Holmes canon, when i read Moriarty, i heard an upper-class, slithering, meanness. Welles gave us an urbane calculator, and it intergrized (that's my word) my ideas as to what makes a character and what sounds like a character. To play against type. Kane was a well established man-about-town, right? So he certainly wasn't a bad guy. Italics on the certainly. Nice.

This obviously has nothing to do with H.G.Wells voice, which i found pleasant and instructive. Just thought I'd mention. On the subject of voices.

Glad you found a nugget, and thanks for the re-remembrance.

Yes, I'm being sweet, deal with it.

Love,
Paul

ooof! I actually nailed H.G. with the second 'e' in that sentence.

Some JOLLY new noises!

I just had one of the greatest few moments of my life this side of an orgasm!

Taking a break from a wearying schedule, I rambled through the Internet surfing my "thoughts" - looking for any topic I might want to learn about that would flash in my mind at a whim; sort of a game I like to play, often discovering some pretty intriguing stuff.

(The other side of the coin, incidentally, in this potential goldmine of learning to the arguments focused overtly on the mediocrity its dwellers often DO bring to it)

So, suddenly I remembered once reading about the brief meeting between H.G. Wells and Orson Welles, aired in 1940 across the country prior to the release of Citizen Kane.

"I'd like to see the transcript to that broadcast", I done uttered. I began the hunt. A few moments later, I did one better: I HEARD the broadcast! I HEARD the voice of H.G. Welles for the first time in my life. What had become such a great myth to me since childhood suddenly filled the room with a very quick English wit in a charming high voice (where I'd expected something more akin to the deep thunder of the war machines he'd written about so much).

So, I sat back in awe and listened to H.G. Wells and Orson Welles chat together.

Among other things, they talked about the rise of Hitler, as well as the psychology of the panic caused by Orson's famous broadcast 2 years earlier. (Orson was apprehensive because he'd enraged the author by using his story without getting permission; but the latter was really gracious and funny).

The author, noting, their almost identical surnames, said that the highlight of his "current tour of the colonies" was meeting “my LITTLE namesake.” He graciously put Welles at ease by dismissing the uproar over his Martian-invasion hoax as innocent “Halloween humor.”

“That’s the nicest thing a man from England could possibly say about the men from Mars,” Orson responded with audible relief.

Then the author asked Orson about this new movie he was about to release. "What is it? CANE?" Wells asked. “Mr. Wells is doing the nicest, kindest thing,” the first-time director pointed out for the folks at home. “He is making it possible for me to do what here in America is spoken of as a plug.”

Wells pulled yet another compliment out of his hat. “This new picture of yours. You’re the producer, the art director, you’re everything!”

“It’s a new sort of motion picture with a new method of presentation and a few new technical experiments and a few new methods of telling a picture,” explained Welles.

"Well, perhaps it will make some jolly new noises too!" replied Wells.

Look for it. It's easy to find, and the whole thing was a fucking delight! The Internet for ME is an awesome amalgam of wonders, man! Never mind the dross out there. There's potential like THIS too!

This was a great experience for me.

DTS, why the "although" when referencing Springsteen.

Excellent interview....
ALL: Although this interview is with Bruce Springsteen, the subjects covered -- art, the artist in performance, family, politics, marriage, the idea that the human experience is one of continually learning, etc., etc. -- and the answers given make it one of the best I've ever seen (it's nice to watch an interview in which the interviewee isn't rushed through the experience). Well done!
--DTS

http://goaften.tv2.dk/article.php/id-9671786.html

Reality Tee-Vee
As stunning an concept as "Can You Choke My Horse With This Potato?" is, it pales somewhat in comparison to the actual Reality Show idea I have interested an agent in. All I can say is, if this goes, I will be looking for a really good Pen Name. The idea alone is tacky, tasteless and involves a famous American known for being the Ultimate Celebrity Famous For Being, Well, Just For Being Famous. You know? Only In America.

And this is before some tasteless producer type has done his thing with it.

By the way, I crave advice on whether working on a reality concept for a non-signatory producer would get me in any WGA hot water IF it winds up deing aired on a signatory network? I'm not a WGA member, but don't want to screw up someday being one, etc.

So far it's all just talk, and I'm hoping the yadda yadda is not over until the strike is. But who knows?

KOS

IF THIS GOES ON...
And "Can You Choke This Horse with a Fifth Grader" and "Trading Spouses: Sorry My Horse Choked Your Wife".

Since a tv series was made out of Geiko caveman commercials, maybe there's a solution to getting scripted fare back on the air while not violating the strike: For instance, "Greys Anatomy" & "ER" could return in 30-second installments as commercials: the theme would be, since both shows have been relying on car accidents lately, the story arc of the series of ads would be whether Geiko would continue to insure the characters on the shows....

JohnE - That's a hysterical site. Almost makes me want to switch sides. I love the tag line: "Our Thinking is Almost as Creative as Our Logo". Kind of teaches the (true) AMPTP the lesson that they should have protected .com while they were at it. Then again, if they thought that laterally, they'd be writers as well as suits.
__________________________________________

KB - Thanks for the Chowhound referral. I'll take a look.

In Defense of AMPTP
While we're all congratulating ourselves for defending those striking (and caviar-snorting) writers, let's please remember that there are two sides to every story. I invite you to visit the AMPTP homepage for a greater understanding of this issue:

http://www.amptp.com/

Excerpt:

--------
"In summary, the writers are demanding respect they haven't earned, privileges they don't deserve, and money for work they haven't done. And those are perquisites we reserve solely for the severance packages of departing CEOs. Simply creating a hit show isn't enough – if they want tens of millions of dollars, they will have to earn them by driving a company so far into the ground that it's worth $85 million to shareholders to be rid of them.

We urge the WGA's pedophorganizers to abandon their Quixotic pursuit of radical demands. We will not let you tilt at windmills. (We have placed all studio windmills under heavy security). The fact of the matter is, we're going to win this thing. We've got enough material to wait out the strike. On the feature side, we've got great scripts ready to shoot. How do we know they're great? Because they were already hits! Get ready for "Talladega Nights" starring Dane Cook! Wait until you see "Titanic" with Keira Knightley and Zac Efron! And on the TV side, we've got enough reality shows to choke a horse. Literally – one of the shows is "Can You Choke This Horse?" And for the fall, we're already working on "Can You Choke This Horse With the Stars?" (Pepsi, you want a logo on the horse? Consider it done.)"

---------

Ha! Take that, crybaby writers!

Dreams With Sharp Release Dates
ERIK NELSON!

That is stupendous news! I am delighted to know that the official theatrical release will be taking place on this coast over here, where I will actually get to see the movie.

While I doubt you'd be in need of any such thing, I just wanted to put forth my willingness to help out with any kind or errand or task you might need gotten done over here in the N-Y-C, regarding the release of the film. I'd be up for anything short of child-murder or voting Republican.

Comfort food

My family hails from lands of bittern rain and foggy nights. We've got Irish, Scots, Germanic, some Indian, christ knows what else. My grandmother's father swore there were no natural born blondes in the family, they all married in. What I'm saying here is that we are as far from Fair haired sun loving people as you will find south of the Alps.
My family settled in the Northern New England area, sometime just before the Civil War. As the years progressed, we grew out to West Virginia, Illinois and Washington, and crept down to Maryland and Va (One 2nd removed uncle -'Big Jim'- went to Florida. Apparently, he only phones home anymore), but that's as South as we went. What I'm saying here is that we were as Yankee as you can get, thank you very much.
So it comes as a shock that the good folks I meet here in Texas, which is only south-southwest, not the REAL South, as far as us yanks are concerned, that i consider grits absolutely delicious. Was raised on them. Yellow with butter, orange with cheddar cheese, tasty with garlic. How my family came to learn how to cook them 'down home' style is a mystery, just as (for example) where my Aunt came up with a recipe for potato candy, that one and only Christmas treat that is my time machine to my youth. Or sweet potato casserole. Or that very same Sweet as Death Tea that i have drank since I was 3 and still make people gag when I have to add sugar to it in these "Southern Fried Mama's Food' places. My ass. If I didn't wince or at least scrinch up my nose upon first taste, it's not tea. Damn skippy. I still dunno if chicken and dumplings are a 'north or south' kinda thing, but damn if I don't get into spirited arguments over how to cook it "properly".

I drove from MD to TX one full week, a trip full of hazards and pitfalls, some serendipitous night sky viewing, but what saved my life, without question, was the Waffle House. Those six huge yellow square beacons in the distance meant salvation and comfort. Every damn one of those lovely people heaped good food, great coffee, hospitality and no-nonsense advice on me, and I am a better man for it. There were none where i grew up, i had no idea they existed. All i knew was that it was comfort food.
Found one here, on the outskirts on Austin. Went to it and the food was terrible. I had wanted to show this place off to Kat, she had never been into one before. The reason it was terrible (here, I'm just going to say it, take it for what you will, because this is an observation and a compliment, nothing else, don't even go down an 'I said a bad thing' road) was that the food had been cooked by white people. In every Waffle House, from Tennessee to Mississippi to Arkansas to Texas, the staff and cooks in every restaurant, bar none, were black. I cannot account for it, but the results were uniformly superb. Except in Austin. This cannot be a 'color' or a 'culture' thing, but there you have it. That was two and a half years ago. We went back earlier this year, and the food was spectacular again. I'm not telling you who's now doing the cooking.

I will, one day, write an opus on the magnificent catfish. One that isn't a bathroom reader, I hope.

Kathy swears by fried pickles. Dill, never Kosher. But then, she's Hispanic so, nu?

Hushpuppies are the Devil's cat toys. A bastardized Gentile matzoh, soulless, bereft of fun. A joyless sphere, eeking grease and heartburn.

Guess, I don't need to go into scrapple, pon haus or slumgullion just right now. Mmm..it's breakfast time.

p.s. Shakespeare lovers be advised that the second video may not be for them. hehehe

The first videos of Harlan at the Trek picket are out at
www.startrek.com/startrek/view/news/article/2315853.html
and (easier to access)
trekmovie.com/2007/12/10/harlan-ellison-talks-strike-dispells-guardian-rumors/
There were cool people there; I'm sure the photographers only recognized a fraction of them. My god: John Black, William Schallert, Nick Meyer, Koenig... More photos:
laist.com/2007/12/10/photo_essay_picketing_trekkies.php
I hope Harlan will write about the strike experiences somewhere.

Question re HERC membership
Hi, Susan.

Just wanted to see if my renewal $$$ had gotten to you. Sent it in October and the check hasn't shown up on the bank statement yet.

Bests,

--tr

Books and Eats
Discovered today there were four books, all hardcover, including a Harry Potter and two "Robert Ludlum" inspired books, that were not listed and have been now. Just a few people are bidding, so if you want some great books at great prices, let me know.

amparion@sbcglobal.net for the link and addition to the bidding list.

End Of Ad.

Southern Food: Egad, I still remember, right down to the meal and place, the time at the Very Southern Military School I went away too my second year of high school. In the heart of the Red Clay river country of south-central Alabama, kudzu and cotton everywhere. Poor folk, black and white, sitting on the porches of their tin roofed shacks in hundred degree hundred per cent humidity weather seeking relief and us marching in crisp gray cotton dress uniforms past them every Sunday to Chapel in downtown Camp Hill (s'welp me God, would I make this shit up?) the Sunday afternoon that I told the mess sergeant "Give me some of that meat and some of those beans" got it to my table, stuck a fork in the delectably soft "meat", and discovered it was liver (which I had never ever even seen, so I just thought it wa some form of pot roast, what-the-fuck does a fifteen year old who came direct from Surf City USA to the "Heart Of Dixie" know about liver? I hadn't even read "Portnoy's Complain"!)) and then decided to get the weird taste out of my mouth by slewing a spoonful of "beans" therein, directly leading to another "Eureka!' for they were Black Eyed Peas, which, let me tell you yessiree Bob, do not taste like beans or anything else remotely palatable.

So I decided to wash the taste out with some ice-cold milk which was when I discovered that Sunday's at Good Old Lyman Ward they served as a special treat for the Cadet's buttermilk instead of real regular milk like I gre3w up on in Califuckingcfornia (which was, in my experience, the official pronunciation, I kid you knot, at Lyman Ward) and at that point I started blubbering something about "What the fuck kind of shit is --" and then it was out the door and I was into De-Merit History.

Supposedly no one ever got that many demerits for one connected series of acts at good old Lyman Ward as did I at that noon meal (which I was informed, repeatedly, was called "Dinner" and never "lunch" as that was a term invented by disreputable Yankees for what "pussies" in "Califunkingfornia" did foodwise between morning acts of homosexual relations with one another and their afternoon flagburning parties. The things you learn Down South.)

Dishonoring the cuisine of the South, dishonoring the Mess, dishonoring the kitchen staff, dishonoring the dining room floor whereon I has spat it all out, dishonoring...well you get the idea, I'm sure?

I was just plain dishonorable, and that was added onto the original sin of being from Califuckingfornia.

I wrote a sob letter home and was out of there a week later. I think they still have my name on a brass plaque somewhere in Camp Hill.

But I do like hush puppies and that diabetic nightmare tea.

KOS

I moved to Alabama about a year ago.

In the plant cafeteria a sign reads, "Dessert is a vegetable."

It's right there under the "Meat 'n Three" menu.

To get the best country food, you need to know one of those dynastic and far flung country families that have little money and lots of land. Earlier this summer, my family was invited out to one such estate and while my eight year old son pushed piles of dirt around with their bulldozer, the rest of us ate a dark venison stew made from a deer shot earlier in the week by our host as he sat on the porch in his pajamas.

Fresh veggies, scratch biscuits and homemade blackberry cobbler.

Head down to the lake. Bait a hook and cast.

Lean back in the shade. Embrace the summer hum.

Suthren Dining.
Yes, southern sweet tea. It is necessary to add the sugar to the water while it's hot to achieve the super-saturation of the syrupy concoction. I was once told by a southern lady that it wasn't tea if it wasn't sweet.

And tell me, is there anywhere else where you can find mac & cheese under "vegetables" on the menu?

Getting away from this frivolous food fest,

I just felt like getting this pressure off my chest:

In the early genesis of professional experience - I tells ya - there's no end to the larnin'.

This is the first year I've done paid work for clients. I learned many a framework necessary to work one-on-one with a client; but the last few weeks saw my first foray into services for a graphics outfit. They put me in direct touch with their client to discuss the criteria for her project; I needed to understand specifically what she was after (the owner of the firm wasn't very good at expressing herself, and she's computer illiterate). Well, she wanted options - different possible approaches to the layout. I gave them to her. I gave her whatever she asked for.

Then I made my mistake: I offered new ideas just as they decided to go with one I'd just about finished. I only wanted to show their client one last possible option - that would have only taken a second to view. It was just something that would work better compositionally.

Well, this morning - by e-mail and on the phone - they gave me SO much shit!!! They objected to my consulting her with a new idea directly. One, in their minds, I should have taken the idea to them for consideration first - rather than their client; two, any new ideas should always be shuffled together at the BEGINNING of the process, not at the end when a printing date is imminent.

I'm being paid accordingly; a LOT, in fact. But they don't want me back.

That hurt. Jeeeezus, did that hurt. I feel defeated. Yet, my recourse is recording the event in my mind and organizing a disciplined policy for myself for both direct clients and for firms.

No way will this scenario happen again. It's embarrassing.

Steve Barber -

Speaking of the chicken and waffles combination, check out (if you can) a Chowhound post from a few years back in which Thi Nguyen opines that it works on the same sweet/fat/carb principle as Peking Duck.

last war
michael mayhew-you are aware, i hope, of the harryhausen test reel of war of the worlds martians ? another what if, along with the food of the gods which obie and ray both wanted to do; obie's frankenstein and his king kong vs frankenstein ( which became king kong vs godzilla). one gift i have is the ability to close my eyes and visualise these films in my mind (probably because i've seen everything Welles has done and listened to most of Herrmann's work again and again. harryhausen is trying to get interest in obie's war eagles so who knows? as far as my apology- michael, i had 18 years of catholic education, it's a miracle i can get up in the morning.....

Adam-Troy Castro
Actually Adam, much of the article is about how product placement into Broadway shows ISN'T all that prevalent, at least as compared to TV and film:

"Despite speculation at the time that product integration -- an exploding marketing tool in film, television, video games and Web content -- would make its way to Broadway, sponsorships remain advertisers' main association and marketing tie-in.

Of course, there also are a few advertisers such as American Airlines and Hilton Hotels that have forked over millions of dollars for naming rights to theaters to benefit from a much higher-profile connection to Broadway.

But because of the limited exposure of theater and its short-lived nature compared to film and television -- whose product stay alive on DVD -- advertisers are not particularly interested in product integration. Nor are Broadway producers, who appear to be somewhat less willing to commercialize their productions than Hollywood filmmakers, studios and networks."

Incessant corporate presence on Broadway isn't all that wonderful, but so far we're nowhere near the reality of your Willy Loman gag.

But no grits. PLEASE, I BEG YOU, DON'T MAKE ME EAT GRITS!

Sorry. The memories just are too acute.

THE GREAT SOUTHERN FOOD DEBATE:
Chicken fried steak, white gravy, and mashed taters.
I call it the heart attack special.
And a big glass of over sweet ice tea.

'Tis Autumn
I did, in fact, make it to the screening of "'Tis Autumn: The Search for Jackie Paris" last Friday. Drove through a snowstorm to do so, but it was very rewarding. While I was mildly disappointed that there wasn't much more of Harlan than appeared in the trailer, I simply adored this heartfelt movie. The soundtrack alone made it worth the trip. It's a shame that Jackie didn't get the recognition he deserved while living. The footage of one of Jackie's final performances at The Jazz Standard show that despite his age and illness, Jhe was a true jazz artist who continued to grow long after the major labels abandoned him.

Raymond De Felitta was present for a Q and A session after the movie. Several of Jackie's friends were in the house and offered other anecdotes and insight about him. I didn't ask any questions, but afterward, I did shake DeFelitta's hand and said, "I drove 5 hours through a snowstorm to see your movie, but it was worth it. I loved it. Thanks!" He seemed quite flattered and introduced me to his producer, Dave. They asked how I'd heard of the movie (jazzcorner) and why I'd do such an insane thing to see a documentary (because I sing jazz and I love Jackie Paris). I did also mention my acquaintance with Harlan through his site and that he was looking for a copy. They laughed and said that indeed, Harlan had contacted them about this. :)

Anyway, this may not technically be a "great" documentary, but it is certainly a heartfelt tribute and an effort to bring some attention to this obscure musician. If you are interested in jazz in general or in the story of artists who struggle against the business and their own demons, you may enjoy this little film as much as I did.

Harlan: did you ever have the opportunity to actually meet Jackie at any point? Just curious.

Munday...Oddz n Endz

Some time later this week or this weekend I will be removing two Webderland-related pages on my website. Nothing wrong with 'em, they're just getting very long in the tooth. If you wanna see the pictures one last time, check out the "Penny Lane Fundraiser" and "Webderland Gallery" pages at:
www.barbergallery.net

(Rod Searcey -- Shoot me an email. I've got a couple questions and can't find your email address.)
___________________________________________

ERIK - Congratulations on the premiere. Question: do any of the showing yet so far qualify DWST for any of the big awards? (If anyone qualified is inclined to nominate it, that is...)
___________________________________________

Thanks Jan. So far, you're the only person who's read the fine print. I disagree with some of your assessment on DeathRay -- I think they have been doing an excellent job covering the genre in ways we haven't seen so far (and by that I mean Starlog and Starburst type publications).
___________________________________________

THE GREAT SOUTHERN FOOD DEBATE: Harlan has yet to weigh in on this -- pun intended -- but I have to register my vote for Fried Chicken and Waffles. Whouda thought that combo would work, but man... (personally, I think it's the syrup that brings it all together.) I mentioned here before that Long Beach has a real southern-style roadhouse which recently had a major fire. (Johnny Rebs, by name. Look it up.)

There's a huge sign on the front now that reads: "Looks like it's time to renovate! We'll be back shortly..."
________________________________________

ATC - AMAZING RACE last night: I've flip-flopped. At first I really disliked Nathan's pushiness, but his partner Jennifer may just be THE most annoying person ever to run the race (and that's a LOT of annoying)! She's got to be the poster child for the self-absorbed "It Isn't Fair" movement.

I saw THE GOLDEN COMPASS over the weekend. I read P. Z. Myers' review afterwords and his reaction is so near mine that I thought, what the heck, let him do the honors...

http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2007/12/the_golden_compass.php#more

Now, to mangle Count Dracula's advice to Jonathon Harker,

THIS LINK TAKES YOU TO A REVIEW OF 'THE GOLDEN COMPASS'. IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIE YET IT STANDS TO REASON YOU WILL NOT WISH TO GO THERE.

Another Sign of the Creeping Cultural Apocalypse
Product placements now being written into Broadway Shows.

"What Happened in Boston, Willy? -- Did Biff eat the new fish sandwich at McDonald's?"

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071210/stage_nm/sponsors_dc

KOS

Never made the connection. Good thing we both went with positive feedback.

Mike

Very Super Important Cookies
Obviously HE's opinion trumps mine any day, and not just in this venue, but it doesn't stop me from weighing in ahead of him:

DROXIES!

Really Very Super Important

Harlan: given the demise a few years back of the late, great Hydrox cookie (and also because I was shopping at Trader Joes tonight), I was wondering: if you had to choose a chocolate sandwich cookie and death was on the line, what would it be: Droxies, Oreos or JoJos?

MM

I like me them french fried pertaters. With mustard, mm-hm.

'Scuse me, I gots ta go sharpen my Kaiser blade. Most folks call it a sling blade, I call it a Kaiser blade, mm-hm.

I reckon.

Carl

glandless
In case you missed it, check out the first two paragraphs of the excellent Dan Neil's review of 2008 Chevrolet Malibu LT in the LA Times. You can find it by searching for the magic word.

"and, if you all are keeping score, we have an official theatrical premiere of DREAMS WITH SHARP TEETH, Wednesday, June 4th at the prestigious FILM FORUM in New York City...home of many a famous art (and otherwise) film debut."

Kudos, Mr. Nelson! Here's to the recognition DREAMS deserves.

Now, should you want to present it to a Pacific Northwest audience, say, Seattle/Portland/Right Around The Corner Way....


shagin

It seems no bookseller in the Seattle area carries DeathRay. Can a domestic based Webderlander e-mail off line if they can pick up the latest issue for me. Thanks!!

David

Two milestones....

....one, the You Tube Rantus Fabulous, just crossed 80,000 hits!!! Way behind the "leave Brittany alone guy", but, still....not bad for a cranky old guy.

....and, if you all are keeping score, we have an official theatrical premiere of DREAMS WITH SHARP TEETH, Wednesday, June 4th at the prestigious FILM FORUM in New York City...home of many a famous art (and otherwise) film debut.

Anyway....

...thought you would all like to know...

Today, Film Forum, tomorrow (makes furtive gesture with globe) !!

I remain,

Erik

Catfish
An all-you-can-eat catfish place would be a wise investment. Catfish is filling, and batter fried catfish is damn filling. I'm a big guy, and I can only eat...maybe two catfish. And like KOS said, those cats are everywhere in the South, Mississippi especially. I know of a place near where I live, a catfish house called Fat Baby's, that stays open for two nights out of the week and makes an absolute bundle. It's a little pricey, but damn it's good. I'm droolin' right now thinking about it.
And it's fish, which means you can eat it and still stick to that miraculous Mediterranean diet and live to be 112 years old! Or maybe 102 years old, seeing as it's fried. Oh well. We pay for the fun we have, I guess.

Deep Fried Southern
Peggy, never had me some deep-fried dill pickles, though they sound simply delish. In my sojourn Down South, in Alabama, I quickly discovered the local gustaatory penchant for hot oil and batter. Corn Frtters, dipped in yellow mustard, was one favorite. It also seemed every other street had a catfish restaurant, and it was the rare night at least one of the CatFish Eateries was not having an "All You Can Eat" fish fest. You have not seen "All You Can Eat" in full flower until you have seen a table of Bubba-Folk realize they can eat their fill for five bux or so That the catfish is not an endangered species can be attributed only to a supposed greeding rate that makes that of the average Coney seem as if it were that of a Maiden Aunt.

Our first two months "Down There" we lived one building away from a Waffle House, and I discovered the other Southern Love: for covering anythng possible in half a pound of butter and syrup, preferably with whipped cream and powdered sugar.

I'm still not sure how I escaped still weighing something like my normal 170. Being sixteen doubtless helped.

Hush Puppies!

I want me some.

Check out www.espressostories.com. It's pretty cool.

KOS

Only in the south
Apropos of nothing more than the south and fried foods...

Does anyone else here just LOVE fried dill pickle chips?

REPLY TO RAYMOND REECE

Dear Mr. Reece:

Sadly, I do not know where Richard is buried. I have a vague memory that his body or his ashes were taken home to the Midwest, but I simply do not know. Though I should. He was a valued friend, and THE ESSENTIAL ELLISON likely would not exist had it not been for Richard's yeoman editing at the early stages of the Nemo Press first edition. He is missed.

Respectfully, Harlan Ellison

Well, here's some minutiae I found interesting:

Mark Felt, whom we learned was "Deep Throat" in the Watergate case, was technical adviser on the old 60's FBI tv series.

...and in spite of Felt's conscience during the later Nixon era, the real FBI vetoed Robert Blake and Bette Davis from any guest-appearances on the tv show.

For the record, I've never seen the show - even on cable. I don't think I'd even have any interest in looking for it either.

SUSAN: Word! Didn't know someone in heaven owed me a favor! Just signed, so future generations won't spit on my grave. Let me know about surface p&h costs, I realize they will be higher than usual, but the dollar is weak. Are we still talking about $20 for the book, even though it's signed and rare? You owe EUR 27 / $39,59, not counting the 10,5% daily interest. Will ship some cheap paperbacks soon. Address for this: Jan Schliecker, 3685265, Packstation 122, 50968 Cologne, Germania. Many many thanks.

DEATHRAY arrived a few days ago. Jim Burns! Odd coincidence. Interesting photo credits on the Harlan article. Steve's photos really help. I think I and David suggested that Jes use LOVE AIN'T NOTHING... as one of the "best books", but hey, it's just about impossible to pick 8 ones out. Why they set themselves such impossible tasks I don't know - they also picked "the (8) most important books in the history of horror" (Anne Rice?) No writer dared to be identified with the article. Switching I AM LEGEND from L.A. to New York is called a "wise move". (By the way, you can see the "Dark Dreamers" Matheson interview on youtube - he mentions the movie script and complains about why they don't invent their own story in the first place.) To me the magazine is a mixed bag. They sure watch a lot of television. Good things in it but I guess there really isn't much exciting, adult SF happening these days, or at least DEATHRAY doesn't know where it is. (Neither do I, but I'm not making any such claims.) Kudos to Jes Bickham, though, who did a great job.

Vocabulary shootout
There income tax forms that use words that are not in any dictionary. Accountants don't know them either.

Step one: Become friends with Harlan Ellison.

Step two: Call up Harlan and ask him.

Richard Delap
Mr. Ellison:

I came across this site tonight by accident and thought I would see if you could answer a question for me. Where was Richard Delap buried? I would like to pay my respects.

I had the privilege of briefly knowing Richard during a limited stay I had in Wichita, Ks. I also met him once for lunch in 1976 when I was passing through LA and he was staying with you. Most of my life after that was spent on the east coast and I lost track of a lot people and a lot of things.

Thank you for your time.

Raymond Reece

CINDY:

Not exactly. We have a lawyer friend who goes out once or twice a year on "restricted hunting" forays in a commercial, tightly-policed preserve someplace in Colorado, I think it is. He bags his limit, brings back meat; and every so often he'll give us bison or deer or elk or whatever, ground up as chuck in small packets. Susan and I use it to enhance the famous chili.

Most such wild creatures are too "gamey" for our recipe, but a one-off of venison happens every now and again.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

JEFF R.:

Can't hurt. As convenient.

-he

JEFF R.:

Can't hurt. As convenient.

-he

Chuck

Glad to hear your grandmother's doing well. I wish her a speedy recovery. All of my grandparents are departed, and I miss them dearly. Love 'em while they're here.

Chuck,
I am so glad that your grandmother is on the mend. She's a fighter, sounds like--that's the very best sort. I'll be praying for her recovery.
Delighted by your news
I am,
Cindy

Hello Harlan.
I wanted to ask you something. Perhaps I imagined this-- but just in case; did I read someplace that you had an apogean recipe for venison? Is this true?

Yer pal,
:)
Cindy

The Ellison Archives
Harlan, as far as the Archives are concerned, are you looking for information about every book, magazine article, newspaper piece, whatever, in which you're mentioned?

Books For Sale! This is your chance.
Earler today I read what our Host wrote about my little essay. I've never been able to handle praise well. I always feel unworthuy.

But this time. I feel as if I sat down at the table, decided to play "Jack-Ten, suited" and flopped a Royal Flush. First hand of the biggest game in town, with the Cincinatti Kid and Edgar G. at the table.

Holy Cow, don't let me screw this one up!

Like the time I had Four Kings in the window on Sixth Street in a Seven-Card Stud game. Four Kings showing. Do The Math. And this guy with three Aces showing called me. Flat call. No blink, no hesitation. We're head's-up. No one else in the $200 plus pot for him to milk with a slow play. No raise. Nope. He's on the draw, and he's got just one Out.

The River Card came. He was first to act.

He bet.

Yep.

Sometimes life is like that. Other times it is like this: The exact opposite.

Thank you, Harlan! Thank you.

The Books:


The books Harlan Ellison delivered to me for sale are now all listed at the following URL:

http://stores.ebay.com/Amparion-Gallery_Harlans-Books_W0QQcolZ2QQdirZ1QQfsubZ16QQftidZ2QQtZkm

You can either "cut and paste " that into your browser and go directly there OR you can go to eBay and search for the seller "Amparion-Gallery" (sans quotation marks, of course, of course) (and yes, hello Mike Jacka). Then click on the "Go to this sellers eBay Store" link and look therein for the section titled "Harlan's Books".

There you will the 35 books in individual listings find. (36 were sent to me, but My Susan spotted one that spoke to her, and insisted I purchase it for her. If any consolation, it were a Chick Lit book.)

I have set up the listings on eBay so that anyone may view them, but NO-ONE may bid on them UNLESS/UNTIL they contact me and ask to be placed on the Approved Bidders list. You can request placement on this list by sending your eBay ID to me:

paleomodern@sbcglobal.net

This process requires that you have an eBay ID. While it costs nothing to do so (no credit card required, from what I recall), should you not wish to obtain such an ID, all is not lost. When the above listings end in about five days, I will let unsold items be purchased at the opening bid by anyone. Just send me an eMail to that effect AFTER THE AUCTON'S END. First to ask about purchasing unsold books AFTER THE AUCTION'S END get's the book at the price of the Opening Bid it was offered for on eBay. Again, this is AFTER the eBay listings end, for unsold books at that time only.

Any books that remain homeless after this process I will relist on eBay in listings open to the general publick.

I think it only fair that you guys get first crack at the boodle.

An interesting and eclectic set of post-Incunabula writings.

All net proceeds from these auctions (total sales less eBay and/or PayPal fees) are being transmitted to our Esteemed Host, so feel free to open your wallets wide.

To our Esteemed Host: I am mailing a First-Order Approximation of predicted sales to you, along with details of such matters.

KOS

Dear Jan:

I do have a copy of the DREAMS tripartite...if you wish. We owe you money, so just say the word, and I'll send one. If you do want one, signed and personalized???

Harlan says thanks for the "Angry Pixe"...he's OVERJOYED!

All best--Susan

MR. OLSON:

I am awaiting a return call from The Maltins re the matter we discussed earlier this date. Until such time as blowback, I went in and checked the fim you mentioned, and in the 2007 edition (the 2008 was in another room) it got three out of a possible four stars, which is what 90% of the very best movies get in Maltin. The byte review, however, though it mentions everyone involved but you, gets a BIG bang-up precis.

When you and M.F.B.T.A. come to visit tomorrow, do not have eaten lunch. I will drag my shit together, attempt to hoist it, and will take you and M.F.B.T.A. to the much-bruited Millie's, a swell joint, a homey "dive," for repast.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

BRAD STEVENS:

I did hold onto them. I have more than a quarter of a million books here at Ellison Wonderland, and the FILM & TV section alone is more than 3000 volumes, including a complete set of Maltins, F. Maurice Speeds, Halliwells, Kaels, Crists, et al.

But no Andrew Sarris, who is a dumpkopf.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

Steve,

“I am curious, given your recent article on internet predators preying upon a friend, on your thoughts regarding the adult who used MySpace to provoke a teenage girl to the point of suicide.”

Considering the fact that popular culture seems to be driven entirely BY teenage girls, I have to admit, I’m ambivalent....

----
On the subject of the I Have No Mouth game, I agree it’s a work of art, but I have to admit that the damn thing made me want to blow my brains out when I played it many years ago. In the best way possible. Someday I will drive a stake through Ellison’s black heart for that one.

---
Harlan,

“My friend Leonard Maltin, the estimable film critic, makes sure that I get several copies of his annual MOVIE GUIDE every year. I than go around the house and replace the previous year's volume with the current one. Thus, I am bedizened with one or two earlier editions, for which I have no room, though they are 99% current. Again, thus, I have a mint condition mass-market 1637 page paperback of the 2005 Maltin. First one to say GIMME gets it. I send it NOT as a (harumphh) Xmas gift, but mere as a token of my adoration of yez all. A gift, no strings, no cost. I will pay the postage. Just say the word ...”

Depends. How many stars did he give History?

Ha ha. Just kidding.

Sort of.

RICK OLLERMAN:

You gots it, compadre. Just get your postal address to Our Mutual Friend, Mr. Wyatt, and it'll go out on Monday.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

Chuck,

Wonderful news about your grandmother's successful surgery. I hope she will recover quickly and fully and be in fine fettle for the holidays.

Steve J.

For the Holidays
Chuck, in light of recent events, have a very Merry Christmas indeed.

Aww, i guess that goes for the rest of youse guys and dolls too.

Chuck

Sincere congratulations for your grandmother's intestinal fortitude. Hopefully the rest of her recovery will be a smooth one for all of you. Keep us posted.

BTW, one MORE great children's book: Fortunately, Unfortunately

Harlan-

Don't think for one minute I never felt sorry for the CHICKEN...but it was always worth the price!

Colleen,

Of course I thank you for yer effort, but - no - it wasn't "Elmer". Skeptically, I looked that up. Completely diffrn't.

Same with the 'Me' book.

The Dragon story I recall was set in a Medieval town.

A dragon invites his ass in with no intent other than a snooze. But the townsfolk fearful, make every effort to remove the pest.

The king's army approaches the dragon and fire their arrows. This has no effect on the dragon beyond pissing him off, and the beastie chases them away.

Then - if I got the nom de guerre right - the king calls upon the 3 Wise Men of Weir (from some distant land, I guess). Yeah: well these clever dudes, they concoct a humongous pot of the grossest soup not unlike backed-up sewage. For some reason they think this will make the dragon take a 180 out of town. The dragon opens his eyes and sees the pot waiting right in front him, the "Wise Men" standing just a bit off to monitor the results.

The results: The dragon takes a sip; his eyes widen; he spits it out with a huge "pe-tewww!" He rears his head at the Wise Men with a snarl, and chases them out of town with his flame toasting their asses.

The king is at a loss. Then a small kid named Jonathan approaches him, and tells him he'd like to take a crack at the dragon. Humoring him, the king and, I guess, the townsfolk go, "Yeah. Yeah, sure. You just go right on ahead n'DO that li'l thing!".

Quite casually, Jonathan walks up to the dragon, and whispers something in his ear. The monster quietly gets up and leaves. "By Fiddler's bone, what tha tarnashion did YOU tell dat ding?" the king asks the kid.

"I just asked him nicely if he would please leave", replies Jonathan.

Hi Harlan, Are you doing any signings for the new edition of Watching or any other way of obtaining a signed copy (e.g., HERC)? Thanks.

Harlan - You should have held on to your older editions of Maltin's MOVIE GUIDE, as the more recent ones have eliminated listings for many older films (particularly from the thirties), presumably in order to make room for such 'classics' as SCARY MOVIE 3.

"D'ya think either of those Star Trek snots will manifest the eggs or the stones actually to come up to me, face to face, and repeat the opprobrium, when I picket at Paramount next Monday?"

If so, do we get to post *that + your response all over the YouTube?

"D'ya think either of those Star Trek snots will manifest the eggs or the stones actually to come up to me, face to face, and repeat the opprobrium, when I picket at Paramount next Monday?"

No Sir, but I can hope that another of that same gaggle of nutjobs with delusions of prepubescent wit gets a hair up his/her butt to entertain his/her inner masochist and does seek you out on Monday.

My momma always tol' me, girl, you gonna dream, dream big...


*****


Chuck,

Glad to hear it, sir! Here's hoping she's off the respirator and home in time for the holidays.




shagin

My Grandmother made it out of surgery in good order. They had to put her in restraints for a while to keep her from removing her respirator.

I stand relieved and amazed. Ninety years old. My aunt Barbara once referred to her as General Patton in a blond wig.

But, damn.

She sure came from resilient stock. I hope I inherited some of that.

Chuck

Welles

john j zeock: You did no wrong. I knew that there had never been a planned Welles WotW. It was just the idea of it, the thought had never occurred to me, and I read your post and there was an instant mini-movie in my head, full of rich, crispy deep-focus Toland cinematography, Kane quality audio mixing, Bernard Hermann score, stunning O'Brian animation of Delgado-built Martian war machines. and of course Welles himself rumbling out the narration. Just this flash -- a half-second preview of coming attractions. And I suddenly just wanted to GO to the movies and see this thing.

And also, mixed in with all of that, was the daydream of an Orson Welles whose career track was a bit more George Cloony clever. Make one for yourself and then, without stooping too low, make a popcorn movie that's tons of fun.

...but then the part of my brain that, yanno, uses logic and all, kinda pointed out that all of those geniuses were long gone. No movie like that. Never was. Never would be.

My post to you was meant only as a good-hearted "Awwww, man! Sure wish I could have seen that movie."

Apologies for double-posting, all.

Note to Harlan & Susan: Don't need the "tripartite volume" urgently enough to justify that Susan spend any time "doing something about it" - if all ten are gone, no need to have it put back into print just for little old me. I had my chance earlier this year, and I have all the original books in some condition or another.

(In the impossible-seeming case there are two copies left, somebody else requested the same book right after me. Can look it up.)

And many thanks for the info about revising BOY & DOG.

This new article includes an appreciation of the NO MOUTH & MUST SCREAM game:

http://theangrypixel.com/blog/2007/12/01/video-games-portrayed-as-fine-art-part-3/

STEVE: You poor slow-moving thing. :-) How pathetic. Next time say gimme first, explain later. hehehe. By the way, I have Halliwell 97 and Movie Retriever 94, if it makes you feel better.

Harlan is mentioned in this wonderful John Banville piece on Richard Stark, Georges Simenon and Otto Penzler's THE BLACK LIZARD BIG BOOK OF PULPS:

http://www.bookforum.com/inprint/014_04/1376

welles
michael- it must be my lack of clarity and i apologize. Welles never planned to do that, but he should have. actually, Wells' war was owned by demille at paramount as was when worlds collide. Orson did plan on doing an Isaac Asimov short story-"reason" but like so many other other ideas that went nowhere. Welles' next film after ambersons was to be a life of christ set in the 1890's southwest- a script had already been vetted by bishop sheen. again, i'm sorry and i reamain,as always, obediently yours.

Frak.

In the spirit of the season: "Gimme". (Please.)



(My Maltin is circa 2002)

I shall do penance for the second post anon.

Gimme!
I'll say it...

I was just looking at one at the library an hour ago...

YET ANOTHER BIT OF LARGESSE

My friend Leonard Maltin, the estimable film critic, makes sure that I get several copies of his annual MOVIE GUIDE every year. I than go around the house and replace the previous year's volume with the current one. Thus, I am bedizened with one or two earlier editions, for which I have no room, though they are 99% current. Again, thus, I have a mint condition mass-market 1637 page paperback of the 2005 Maltin. First one to say GIMME gets it. I send it NOT as a (harumphh) Xmas gift, but mere as a token of my adoration of yez all. A gift, no strings, no cost. I will pay the postage. Just say the word ...

Yr. Pal, Harlan

SHAGIN:

Here's an idle, strictly idle, thought:

D'ya think either of those Star Trek snots will manifest the eggs or the stones actually to come up to me, face to face, and repeat the opprobrium, when I picket at Paramount next Monday?

As likely as an eclipse of all three of our suns simultaneously.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

KIM OWEN ' S OPUS

KOS:

What a purely estimable stretch of prose! I welcome you to the sparsely-populated Pantheon of Perfection.

What a shame and pity the Young Demographic surfeited with dross like "American Idol" and the like of "90120" will never swim in the warm Aegean of memories such as this.

You are a fine storyteller. My highest accolade.

Harlan

Wow!

Colleen: Did you find Jonathan in an old Books in Print, or are you just some sort of Mad Genius of Children's Literature?

Either way, you have duly impressed me and made me very happy.

A used copy has been ordered. Fourteen bucks out the door -- fourteen bucks gets you a chunk of childhood magic delivered to your door. Who'da thunk it?

It's moments like this -- someone smart answers the wistful request, someone else has a copy, everyone miles and miles away from each other, and all figured out in less then 24 hours -- that remind me that this internet thing is not ENTIRELY about anonymous ignorant miserables venting their impotent rage into the ether.

Thank you thank you thank you Colleen!

MM

ROB:

I gotta give you props for the exploding chickens in Frank's pants, kiddo. My first outright laughaloud of the day. And I needed that.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

Aloha Michael Mayhew:
I think the book you're looking for is "Jonathan", by Eleanor Graham Vance, illustrated by Albert John Pucci. The book was published in 1966 and is OP. Let me know if that's the right book when you locate a copy. Hope this helps.
Cheers, Colleen

REPLY TO JAN

Sorry it's taken me a few days to get back to you, re your Wednesday post. I've passed along your tripartite volume query to The Honey What Is Mine Own, and she assures me she'll do SOMEthing about it. I do not know what.

As for the question about "A Boy and His Dog," if I recall correctly ... I had literally JUST finished writing that section of the novel when Mike Moorcock contacted me, purely synchronistically, asking if I had anything new that he might use in NEW WORLDS. "Boy" read well enough as a stand-alone--and I was on the edge of just writing onward to full fruition of the novel that was to incorporate the novella--that I sent it along, and he bought it, and published it, as it was.

Later, after I'd written the section that immediately precedes "Boy," the section called "Eggsucker," I went back over the novella, integrating, neatening, just generally doing some auctorial housekeeping. I believe I added some new material, but it wasn't anything substantial, because "Boy" was pretty much set in stone by that time, and it was ready to butt up against the next section, published as "Run, Spot, Run" ... so there wasn't much neatening needed.

That's about the best I can do remember-wise, kiddo.

The rest of the novel, BLOOD'S A ROVER is, of course, already written as a screenplay; and it merely needs my finding the time to translate it to narrative, which I hope to pull off before I go to my Reward (hiyah, Cindy, luv!).

Yr. Pal, Harlan

A neighbor of ours was just sentenced to life in prison. In some cases, Justice IS served.

http://www.presstelegram.com/ci_7656299

____________________________________________________

JOSH - I am curious, given your recent article on internet predators preying upon a friend, on your thoughts regarding the adult who used MySpace to provoke a teenage girl to the point of suicide.
____________________________________________________

This is not directed towards anyone on this Pavilion, but reading through the posts about today's march and those on the clip on Youtube, I am still astounded by those who put up messages just to deride someone. And, in most cases, it reminds me of the old adage that "one should remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open one's mouth thus removing any doubt".
____________________________________________________

Lastly: Did anyone else hear Romney's speech yesterday? The one about Freedom = Religion and Religion = Freedom? (He feels Iranians are free? And that the Afghanis were better off under the Taliban???)

I was going to suggest that he reread the First Amendment, but then realized it's already been revised by the Bush Administration...

Thanks for the link, Jan. I wasn't aware of the event, so learning about it was a nice bit of information and I hope it draws attention to the WGA strike.

What intrigued me most was not the event notice itself but the comments that followed. Two posters (#6 & #28) voiced opinions of the "Harlan Ellison ruined Star Trek" persuasion, which is worth even less than the ink this post takes to write, and the others run the gambit of union support and protest, with a fairly equal mix of both sides. I was disappointed by the posters that rallied around the "get over it" and "they're crap writers because TV is crap" line, as well as those who commented on fair market value. I'm glad to hear some folks feel that way; I mean, fair market value should extend to all professions, right, Mr. Plumber/Electrician/Doctor/Professor/etc./etc.? Writers certainly don't take years to perfect their craft.


*sigh*


shagin

Apparently Harlan and Moore will be at a Star Trek-themed picket on Monday along with a plethora of other writers and actors from 11-3 in front of Paramount.

http://trekmovie.com/2007/12/05/wga-organizing-star-trek-strike-day-at-paramount/

I think this will attract quite a crowd and I wish I could go.

Lost Kid's Book

Colleen: I sense that your knowledge of children's books runs deep, so maybe you can remember a title or author or illustrator for this one.

When I was very small I had this picture book that I absolutely loved. First line was "Jonathan was seven and the world was full of wonder..." And this kid is full of questions about the world: hows and whys and wheres, and he goes to someone called the Answer Man. I don't remember any of the questions or the answers, just the rhythm of the piece. A wide-eyed question posed in poetic language, followed by "And the Answer Man said..." A verbal rhythm like gentle waves washing in and going out.

Illustrations very autumnal. Orange and russet and brown and watercolor feeling.

I've wanted to track down a copy for years - but lacking title or author has seriously crimped the search. Anyone know this book?

--

John j zeock: You dangle Wellsian sugar plums before me, tantalizing but unreachable. First The Other Side of the Wind, now a Welles/Willis O'Brian team-up?! You're killing me, buddy, just killing me.

---

The very last word on Kael -- okay, I have nothing to add... but everyone else was saying it!

Heard this on NPR

Ask a Ninja give's advice to the writers guild:

http://www.askaninja.com/writersstrike

Chuck:
Hope your grandmother's surgery goes well and that she fully recovers. She sounds wonderful.

Rob: I think the book you're thinking of is "Elmer and the Dragon" by Ruth Stiles Gannett, illustrated by Ruth Chrisman Gannett. It was published 50+ years ago. Still in print-check the library.
Irwin Shapiro wrote a book titled "Paul Bunyan tricks a dragon", illustrated by Raymond Burns. As for you're "big me..." reference, possibly it's either "I'm too small, you're too big" by Judi Barrett or "Big and little", by Ruth Krauss. As for Randolph Caldecott, the Caldecott medal has been awarded for 69 years now and none of those books are out of print-again check the library. It's a great way to see how children's book illustrations have evolved and changed. Hope this helps.
Cheers, Colleen

I'm tooling around the internet for awhile, mainly to distract myself.

My Grandmother, my only remaining grandparent, has been in surgery for two and a half hours so far, due to a severe auto accident. She's ninety years old. She reacts badly to anesthesia -- it makes her clot. She was in good health and spirits going in.

Now I can only wait, and it's starting to sink in what's happening.

I loved reading KOS's ice cream essay, it made me feel good reading it. One memory of my Grandma is around Christmas time, we grandkids would gather around her and she'd read to us from a book of children's poems. Raggedy Man, Little Orphan Annie (The goblins'll getcha if you don't want out!), and one about a really old, truly old, Little Red Dragon. She held us spellbound, reading those rhymes and stories. She had a wonderful reading voice.

Now I wait so see if I'll hear that voice again.

Send any prayers or good thoughts you have my way, please.

Chuck

Last word on Kael:

"Raising Kane" is, it seems to me, a disappointment no matter how you slice it. If you take it as an article of faith that Orson Welles did arrogate more credit for Kane than he was due, and that he needed to be exposed as a fraud, then Kael simply dropped the ball by violating one of the bedrock canons of responsible journalism. If you feel that Welles deserves all the credit for Kane, or at least that he received no more than he was due, then the piece is a scurrilous libel. Either way, Kael did herself no credit with this particular piece."

That's ALL I was ever getting at. To say more would only recycle these topics I've exhausted here at length, all archived long ago.

Ezra:

"you must question everything. EVERYTHING. And then, in the words of the prophet Bob (Dylan that is)...

Strengthen the things that remain."

Right on. It's the ONLY way the human race will ever become something better than what it is.

Inspired KOS, a lens back to infancy:

Hey - only recently I took a mental path back to the earliest illustrated storybooks I could recall from when I was a muskrat around 4-6 years of age. It's a research phase for graphics I'm planning. And it's a haunting trip; almost spectral. Because some of those books - probably out-of-print now, because I couldn't find them on google - float in my mind as dream fragments; like they didn't really exist. That ever-elusive 'Pooh' universe.

One in particular I REALLY wanted to find because from what I recall, the illustrator was a damn good one. The title was something like The Big Me, And The Little Me. Looked very "Warnerish" in its style. I really wanted to see who that artist was.

Another was Jonathan and the Dragon by, if I got it right, Irwin Shapiro. It was a primitivist style I wanted to review. Couldn't find it anywhere.

Neither of these books have I seen since the age of 4 or 5. And it kind of leaves you with a weird feeling.

Then there's PD Eastman, who I understand worked under the incomparable Theodor Seuss Geisel, before doing Go Dog Go. Then there's the one-and-only Harold & His Purple Crayon, The Little Engine That Could, and whatever other titles I'm leaving out right now.

My main goal, though, was the illustration style reaching back to the 19th century. Randolph Caldecott, whose anthropomorphic teacups and kettles had such visual inspiration on 20th century animators - from Winsor McCay to Disney - was my most valuable recent discovery and the main trigger for this new indulgence.

And that leaves me to ask any of you if you ever get the same haunting backtrails. Putting well-known children's storybooks aside, do you remember some that you haven't seen since that early age?

HARLAN! What illustrators and children's books enchanted the infant Ellison of 4 or 5? Who were the enthralling storybook visualists of that time?

That's the dewy-eyed can of worms KOS has just opened!

The Applicant at New York Magazine
I don't know if the video only works on US based websites only but you can check my short film, The Applicant, at the New York magazine at:

http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2007/12/filmmaker_faisal_qureshi.html

Funnily enough, I've found the comments very amusing (all negative so far). the last guy who makes the 7/7 reference is so hilarious that I just emailed to all the crew to stimulate the giggles.

FAQ

P.S. I haven't read any of the Welles/Kael debate but just to say has anyone read Carringer's The Making of Citizen Kane that refuted Kael's argument or even This is Orson Welles book edited by Jonathan Rosenbaum which if memory serves, has an article credited to Peter Bogdanavich but allegedly ghost written by Orson Welles going into the piece?

Movie trivia - When I met Ken Adam's a few years ago, he told a story about how Stanley Kubrick met Joesph Mankiewicz at a dinner party at Adam's flat. The subject came up of who wrote Kane and even Joesph refuted the claim from the little he knew.

Don't want to dismiss Kael as she did write more than her fair share of excellent film criticism and I do remember that she once commented on Harlan's biting dialogue in The Oscar for a review of another movie. I should find a copy of the review she gave for the latter.

Two Yerka works on auction this Sunday

This received in my e-mail today. Thought I'd pass on the word for those interested. No commish, just the facts, ma'am.
===========

Hello Yerkafans,

This Sunday, on Dec.9th two yerka works (one acrylic and one pastel) will be put on sale on Contemporary Art Auction by Agra-Art Auction House.

The event starts at 5 p.m. Warsaw time. Live internet /phone bidding available upon prior registration.

Info about the event, bidding etc: http://www.agra-auctions.com

See the works: http://www.agraart.pl/cgi-bin/szukaj.cgi?od=0&qt=1196955831&act=2&nazwisko=yerka&aukcja=179

Thanks !
--
Konrad Szukalski
Jacek Yerka representative

Welles
i've always felt that Orson's miscalculation was in following kane with ambersons. his history with the Mercury, both on stage and on the air, was to contrast the commercial with the artistic. ( his first Mercury broadcast was Dracula, after all)following kane with a movie that in its original length had to be the bleakest film ever made to that point was not what george schaffer had in mind when Orson was brought to rko. Orson should have done Wells or Dickens or something closer to what he did on the radio and then done ambersons. yes, an artist must be true to him or her self but, as the cliche goes, the trouble with movies as an art form is that it's a business and the trouble with it as a business is that it's an art form. i love Orson without reservations but the war of the worlds with wiilis o'brien stop motion would have been wonderful. i remain, as always, obediently yours.

Rob, you aint man enough, and if you ever try any of that stuff you will end up with dung beetles in your undies.

Sorry to bring up that bad Christmas up in Reno.

Is the goat still a virgin?

-------------

Simon is a decent writer, but he's no Lewis Lapham or James Wolcott or Chris Hitchens--before he went evil.

His elitism is a bit like the late Steve Allen's.

Allen used to make some bone headed comments about rock music, basically saying that there was no great music written after the early 50s, or some such rot.

I can admire Metallica, but also Sister Ella, that's the kind of elitism I admire--a midline esthetic, so to speak.

----------------

I even like crap like this:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=4lLHvStyTms

-------------

Lou Dobbs has an illegal alien working for him, so does Mitt the Mormon. Huckleberrybee let off a rapist and Guiliani has a whole nest of closet creatures. Watching the GOP crumble is like watching a small petite french girl eat creme brulett.

The House of Usher is taking the right, stone by stone.

Damn, to masterbate fire. Happy Holidays ya fuckin nazis.

Woot!

Steve B.,

Okay, I've re-read and I now see that you were making the point that no one here is the equal of Pauline Kael. Point taken, and my apologies for the misreading.

It was my understanding from what Harlan wrote that he was not foreclosing further discussion of the topic as a whole, but rather that he was insisting that any further discussion of it be conducted in a more civil manner. If I misunderstood, I extend my apologies to Harlan as well. It was certainly not my intention to disregard his wishes.

Steve J.

Kim Owen - As others have said, very nice piece. Thank you for posting it for the rest of us to read.
_______________________________

Steve Jarrett - I'm going to honor Harlan's request regarding this topic, but please, go back and reread my posts and the actual points I was making.

(BTW - I do NOT underestimate the level of expertise on this board in any way. I simply don't feel anyone here is -- in your own words -- "by common consent, the single most influential film critic of her time.")

fires and food

KOS:

Funny you should offer a story involving fire and food (terrific story, too). Just the other day, I was researching early history of frontier Fairbanks, Alaska and ran across an account of a fire in the early days of the town (1912 or thereabouts) where the steam-driven water pump that pulled water from under the winter ice on the Chena River through hoses to the fire chugged to a halt when it ran low on steam while the volunteers were fighting a multi-structure fire. A business owner made the snap decision to throw all the ham and bacon he had in stock into the boiler with the firewood on hand, to get the steam going again.

Frank:

Just because somebody made a stupid or racist statement at some time or another, doesn't mean you should invalidate their expertise or refuse to read anything else he writes. John Simon is erudite, witty, and extremely well read, and though I often disagree with his film reviews, he's always engaging to read. And, being a Yugoslavia-born, Harvard-educated fellow, he's an elitist in just the sense that Harlan is always praising.

Until you've watched a fire burn and witnessed the struggle to salvage anything that can be saved, and then dug through the remains to pick out the last improbable pieces, the cynic's voice is a fair bit out of touch.

One of the smoky black bits of humor to survive my husband's housefire? A hardback edition of Fahrenheit 451, lightly singed.


shagin






"Why didn't the ice cream melt during the first fire?
5 men were allowed to go into an unsafe structure and salvage a large bunker?
Don't those industral type ice cream bunkers require a lot of plumbing to work?
Who was supposed to run into a fully ingulfed garage to unlock a chain conncected to an eyebolt?
cynically
D.W. Pareis"

Watch the Skies!
Yr welcome sir!

What brought good old George Adamski to mind in the first place was that back in the summer I attended an estate book sale and actually found a copy of Adamski's book! It was all so innocent and naive in those days. Ban the bomb and join the Space Brothers (and Sisters, yeah).


Note to Cindy: With all due respect to your dearly held beliefs, and with no intent to offend, you must question everything. EVERYTHING. And then, in the words of the prophet Bob (Dylan that is)...

Strengthen the things that remain.

KOS: Nice piece.

May I suggest that when you post full essays you include copyright at the bottom in the same way that our host does?

You never know to what use you might want to put your work down the line; it's good to assert your ownership.

I am not feeling cynical, but I too wondered why the ice cream did not melt in the first fire that kicked off the story.

MM

Ha.
Never got paid for writing a word in my life, but I'd still love to have one of these shirts:

http://www.boingboing.net/2007/12/05/sfwas-farting-rainbo.html

re
Why didn't the ice cream melt during the first fire?
5 men were allowed to go into an unsafe structure and salvage a large bunker?
Don't those industral type ice cream bunkers require a lot of plumbing to work?
Who was supposed to run into a fully ingulfed garage to unlock a chain conncected to an eyebolt?
cynically
D.W. Pareis

KOS,

Thank you for the wonderful post. It spoke of childhood in ways that only our esteemed host and Mr. Bradbury have managed, and was as much of a joy to read.


shagin

KOS,
That was exquisite and I loved it.

Thank you for posting it here.
:)
Cindy

I thought I'd share this link for those interested in robotics - from one of the TED talks. Basically the video deals with ways insects and reptiles provide a basis for inspired designs for "bot feet".

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/195

Milky memories of ice cream summers...


KOS, that was beautiful! In all my years of running workshops and editing other people's prose and pushing new writers over the ominous mountains of their creative angst, I've often reiterated about the importance if using their life experience to create a wedge into reality. I'm sure you've heard that oh-so-trite adage from teachers and professors and hacks of different sorts to "only write what you know", and I can't think of a more misunderstood concept. If you only allowed yourself to "write what you know" there'd be no flights of fancy or rocket ships to the moon or journeys into the netherlands of human psychology and philosophy. The part you need to know, the part that liberates the creator to make such leaps into truly new worlds, is that realm of experience that translates across time and culture, and expands into a possible new reality. Hence my often used term, "wedge into reality". And sometimes it's the wedge itself that transcends and creates with a life of its own. Well, you did it, KOS, you found the darn wedge, and I really want to thank you for sharing it with us. Beautiful, just beautiful.

KOS, if you get a minute, please e-mail about this piece. I'd like to ask a small favor of you, thanks.

David Silver

The Great Ice Cream Summer Of 1957
Summer of 1957, the Old Supermarket on the corner up the street from our Pasadena house burned down. My Dad, always looking for a bargain, was there as the firemen rolled up their hoses. An hour later a hired truck was in our drive way, being unloaded by four Mexicans and a black man my Dad had hired from the crowd watching the fire. From the back of the stake-bed emerged a glorious mystery and wonder: A twelve-foot long, three foot wide and four foot deep chest of wonders. It was a freezer, and it was fully stocked with ice cream.

Ice cream: vanilla, chocolate, strawberry and even pistachio. Pints, quarts, gallons and mini-cups. Bon-Bons and Eskimo Pies, Nutty cones, Half And Half bars, Creamsicles and Dreamsicles. It was a ten year olds own frozen version of Aladdin's cave, and they muscled it right into our garage, that big old former carriage house out behind the Greene And Greene home we had on Orange Grove, just a couple three blocks away from the Rose Bowl.

Up that hundred-foot driveway they rolled the treasure, on a crab dolly, and into that garage, parking it carefully on the far wall form the old Crosley Dad kept out there.

We used to push the Crosley out on summer afternoons, Bobby, Jim and I. We'd pitch pennies to decide who got the first ride, and "drive" that old Crosley down the driveway to the gate. Then the three of us, somehow, would (incredible as it seems to me now) push that mini back up the hill and the next one of the trio would get his turn behind the wheel. But that was before Grandpa, who lived next door, caught us "cruising the Crosley" and chained it to an eyebolt some previous owner had sunk into the foundation of the garage.

Anyway, all that summer we were the kings of the block, the nabobs of the neighborhood. For a nickel kids could have a peek at the Chest Of Wonders, including a glance inside to imagined "Hallelujah" choruses. Disbeliever’s were especially courted, as their conversion to the one True Faith of Good Humor was always a source of great mirth in the retelling at night in the seclusion of our upstairs dormer bedroom.

It even made up for the goats' milk Mom made us drink all summer. Dad had traded the donkey (the one who wouldn't walk on cement or asphalt, only dirt and grass) for three milch goats. For the first month they didn't tell us we were drinking goats milk, and they blamed the funny taste on "the milk man must have given us day old milk". Then Bobby caught Dad early one morning filling the "Da-Zee Frexh Dairy" bottles with milk from a bucket, and the secret was out. We made the best deal we could: one ice cream bar from the Chest Of Eternal Goodness for each glass of the goat milk consumed.

Anyway, all that summer and into the fall the freezer worked its' wonderful way on our lives. We turned from outcasts to celebrities, enemies became friends, bullies sycophants. It was the Millennium made real in swirls of caramel and pecans. it was, in short, the best of times.

And then it was Christmas. Dad had traded the goats for the Mad Goose by then. Our joy at no longer having to drink goats milk (even though we also lost the Great Ice Cream Trade Off when they departed), was greatly lessened when we met The Gray Ghost. This enormous goose hated us. It would hide in the bushes, and when we would attempt to walk to the garage, late at night on a raid of the freezer of dreams -- Dad had placed five boxes of old Encyclopedia Britannica's upon the lid of the freezer, to stop our raids. But Jim had figured out a system, involving the chain hoist, a stolen pulley from Chauncie's Junk Yard and a rope salvaged from the Junk Room (what we called the old apartment above the garage where dad stored everything he couldn't trade), and we could use that to lift the hundred pounds-plus book boxes. That was how, by the way, we discovered the donkey would not walk on concrete, since Jim had originally planned to hook Doris The Donkey (he named her after Doris Day, who he had a crush on that summer) to the rope and use her to lift the boxes, only Doris would not enter the garage, even though Bobby and I pulled on her ears and even held a carrot on a stick in front of her. That always seemed to work for Porky Pig, but Doris held out for something better, so we wound up using Boy-Power to hoist our way into the Glorious Ice Cream Treasure --

Well, as I was saying, whenever we would walk out to the garage, that monster would rush from its' lair in the bushes like Grendel assaulting Heorot, wings flared, beating the air and it's beak reaching for the largest, softest part of our asses. And that thing left marks on our butt cheeks. It was a holy terror, and was the reason for our getting caught raiding the freezer one midnight and the encyclopdia's being placed over what we defiantly thought of as "ours"!

Dad gave the goose to Old Mr. Chambers, the black man who lived up the arroyo near Dad's feed store. I was working in the store one day , helping out in return for a promised chance to pull a pint or two from the freezer later that day, and Mr. Chambers stopped in for some chicken feed and rat poison. I asked him how the Goose was getting along and Mr. Chambers scratched his head for a moment, thoughtful like, and smiled.

"The goose? Well, that goose died on me!"

I gawked and gaped with wonder, and relief. I guess Mr. Chambers thought I was upset, because he proceeded to telling me how the goose came to her demise.

"Well, I got that goose home, in the sack your Pop put her in for me, and I carried the sack out to the pen in back. Anyway, I got the sack up on the edge of the pen, and proceeded to dump that goose out. She came flying out of that sack madder than a next of hens fighting a fox, flapping her wings and jabbing that devil beak at me. Just about took off my pecker!"

We both laughed at this., though I secretly sighed with terror and wonder that I still had my pecker intact.

"So, I went into my tool shed, and got that big old Ball Peen hammer, the one I use for smashing up rock salt and ice for ice cream making, you know that one?" he winked.

Mr. Chambers always made ice cream every Fourth Sunday from goats milk (yep, those goats). Funny thing, goats milk ice cream tastes better than cow ice cream.

"So I walked back up to that goose, smiling and holding out a handful of feed, real gentle like. And damned if that demon didn't snap at my pecker again! So I pulled that hammer from behind my back where I had it in my other hand, and smacked that goose right on the side of the head with it."

Mr. Chambers smiled, showing that glorious gold tooth we all marveled at (someone said he had gotten it from a German Officer in the First World War, but I held out for the belief that it was from a looted hoard of Nazi Gold in the Second World War, which everyone knew was much better than the first with those silly flat tin hats and canvas airplanes).

"And that goose died..." Mr. Chambers sighed.

I guess Mrs. Chambers had a heck of a job plucking and cooking that goose, but I was too full of joy at her demise (the goose, Mrs. Chambers lived to be ninety-three and took sick and died the year I left for the air force, but she was happy and had fourteen great-grandchildren, so I guess that was alright?)

Well, a week after the goose died, which was the week before Christmas, my Dad put up the lights. As usual he ran the power from the big set of electrical sockets in the garage.

That was the Nemesis of our Glorious Bonanza. Seems that freezer was rated as "Industrial" and drew way more power than a household freezer. Seems also the "Bush Electrician" Dad had hired off the street to wire up those sockets in the garage had forgotten what he never knew about fuzes. So the first night of the Christmas Lights, we all went to bed by the glorious glow of the season, and woke two and a half hours later to the crimson glow of our Great Tragedy.

The garage was burning. My Dad and Grandpa (who still lived next door), rushed to save the Crosley. Mom called the fire department, who I guess got there about as fast as could be expected (which seemed forever to our childhood sense of the urgency of the situation), and in the rush to find the key to the lock that secured the chain on the Crosley, no-one (except us three) thought of the Greater Tragedy of the freezer.

Well, you can imagine how no one listened to out frenzied cries and pleading entreaties. They never did find the key to the chain on the Crosley. It went up with the garage in a regular Viking Funeral. The freezer, well it was a charred heap. Funny thing was, by some freak of nature, or Act Of God, one gallon of vanilla, somehow, survived. It floated in one corner of the freezer, in a sea of milky flotsam and jetsam: wrappers, sticks, cardboard push-up tubes and soggy waffle cones.

We did the decent thing, and gave that gallon to the firemen. The papers the next day showed two of the engine crew eating bowls of it (Mom's blue delft bowls were on the front page, and she was so proud!) and the story went on and on about the loss of the garage and the Crosley, but there wasn't a word about the freezer, or the lost treasure.

The other kids in the neighborhood, well they sort of caucused amongst themselves and concluded serious-like that the freezer must have been cursed, and the ice cream was sort of the temptation that inexorably had led to our inevitable downfall or some-such nonsense. Of course, we knew the truth: it was Hubris, striking us down for our overweening pride..

Butt for that one glorious summer of 1957 we were Kings, and fed upon the very ambrosia of the Gods.

Heidee-ho, my Susan has just entered with the box of books.

Stay tuned.

KOS

I think Steve B. underrates just a bit the level of cinematic expertise in the Pavilion. I know that we have a couple of students of the cinema lurking hereabouts, and I myself have a few modest credentials, having taught film classes for going on thirty years in various schools, including a stint at the North Carolina School of the Arts School of Filmmaking.

I believe that I can approach the subject of Pauline Kael's work with some perspective, as I am neither an acolyte in the cult of Kael nor one of those who view her as the devil incarnate. I was an undergraduate film student around the time when Kael was at her apogee, and I must confess that at the time I didn't quite see what all the fuss was about. I appreciated the passion she brought to her reviews, but I was put off by the fact that she seemed to be preoccupied with being seen as more insightful than anyone else about movies. If someone else published an insight about a given film before she did, she would be damned if she would acknowledge that they might be right. And she had a propensity to quote disapprovingly what her filmgoing companions had said about a film in order to heap scorn on their lack of insight so that hers would shine the more brightly by comparison. I was also put off by what seemed to be a distinct anti-intellectual bias in her writings. She seemed to be affecting this no-nonsense working-journalist impatience with intellectual graybeards and their fancy insights, while simultaneously straining after deep insights of her own. After a while, I just stopped reading her reviews. To this day, there are more of her reviews that I have not read than there are that I have read, so my remarks here may well be unfair owing to my ignorance of the bulk of her output.

Having said all that, to dismiss Kael as a fool or an incompetent critic just won't wash. She was, by common consent, the single most influential film critic of her time. What came out of her typewriter helped to shape the contours of one of the most creatively fecund periods the American cinema has ever known. Above all else, I believe, she was largely responsible for persuading the culture at large that movies mattered. More specifically, she forcefully made the case that the art of the cinema was not confined to the works of art house avant-garde divas like Maya Deren, but could also be found in Hollywood releases if you knew where to look. Kael's work wasn't -- and isn't -- my cup of tea, but that doesn't keep me from realizing that she made a valuable contribution to the critical literature.

With respect to "Raising Kane," I think Brad Stevens was right on target in pointing out that it needs to be viewed in the context of Kael's ongoing pissing contest with Andrew Sarris over the "auteur theory," which was Sarris's take on the French "politique des auteurs." Although Kael did acknowledge Welles as a gifted filmmaker, she couldn't pass up the opportunity to take him down a peg, and thereby slip the shiv to Sarris one more time.

As to the merits of the piece she wrote, much of it is dedicated to rehabilitating the somewhat tarnished image of Mankiewicz, a noble and worthwhile undertaking. It is only the section in which she addresses the authorship of the Kane script that is problematic. I could go through and point out various assertions which have subsequently been reliably debunked, but I think the larger point is that Kael did not speak to Welles at any time during the preparation and writing of the piece. On the other hand, she spent considerable time interviewing John Houseman, who clearly had an axe to grind. Neither of these facts is controversial in the slightest. Kael herself confirmed more than once that she interviewed Houseman and that she didn't interview Welles.

It follows that "Raising Kane" is, to the extent that it deals with the question of Kane's authorship, poor journalism. When you make a controversial assertion about a person, you give them the opportunity to respond. Period. If you're determined to do a hatchet job, you can then cherry pick their quotes and take them out of context and still retain some sort of journalistic fig leaf. But if you don't even seek out the quotes, you have tipped your hand beyond all doubt.

"Raising Kane" is, it seems to me, a disappointment no matter how you slice it. If you take it as an article of faith that Orson Welles did arrogate more credit for Kane than he was due, and that he needed to be exposed as a fraud, then Kael simply dropped the ball by violating one of the bedrock canons of responsible journalism. If you feel that Welles deserves all the credit for Kane, or at least that he received no more than he was due, then the piece is a scurrilous libel. Either way, Kael did herself no credit with this particular piece.

Steve J.

I was sayin' with "the delicacy of a gossamer touch", that is!

...Now that I know Frank's back is covered, I better lay off the pranks.

Shit! How boring life will be! What am I to do?

No more wedgies. No more water bombs. No more hosings. No more pea shooters. No more 3am prank calls. No more exploding chickens in Frank's pants. No more Super Glue on the toilet seats. No more talcum powder in his hankies. No more sugar in his gas tank. No more pullin' down his pants in public and forcing him to blow kisses to the crowd. No more gifts like a wig made of pubic hairs. No more hangin' him upside from the top of the Sears Tower. No more spikin' his soder pop with angel dust. No more snakes in his bed. No more electroshock condoms. No more cod liver oil in his soup. No more rigged dates with Full Montys.

Nosereee. By Ellisonian decree, Frank's got political power now. CLOUT, if you will.

And if I don't wanna wind up being the Hymie Weiss of Webderland, I'd best start treatin' Frank reeeeeeal tender-like.

Gonna be nurturin' sweetness n'love. The delicacy of a gossamer.

Singin' ma psalms; breakin' bread.

I'm a true Church-goer now.

(Yeah...'least after I carve my initials in his butt-cheek...)

welles
michael mayhew- when the whole wind thing is resolved there's a better than even chance the film will play on showtime who appears to be paying for the restoration. they did show a wonderful piece entitled one man band which compiled a lot of Orson's starts and stops over the years-including things that were not even rumored. it's something to look forward to and we can but hope.

Harlan, you help my self esteem, you really do. The world is a wreck and you piece it back together.

Me be good boy for da da. Get cookie and prostitute. Me big boy now.

--------

We need to start debating more important things, like why do middle class people treat public washrooms like homeless shelters? I can never take a dump when need be, because some bastard's kid stuffed toilet paper all in the toilet, making it impossible to flush.

No, no, I won't be that guy that gets embarrassed when the floor's running with crap.

I won't fall for it a third time.

*sigh*

Dad always did like Frankie better....

"No, you go down to the store and buy it, Motherfucker!"
Sorry, had to be quoted one more time. Love it.

BTW HARLAN: Has my request to have one of the SHARP TEETH omnibuses reached the right authorities or is the store closed at the moment? No hurry.

And a question: If A BOY AND HIS DOG was revised and expanded after first publication, does that mean it was restored or that you actually added all-new material?

Adam-Troy,
I'm glad you mentioned that. I just got through a drowsy.. err uh, rousing two years of Confirmation with my 5th child. The Pastor requires the parents to go along and sit in with the children. I think it's so the kids will behave. Of course Quinn would not oblige. He's a non participatory Christian on the fringe. He's a Master Mason with Lutheran roots and heretical tendencies. He once told a local Baptist minister who casually said, " God bless you" that he " didn't fuckin' sneeze."

So I drew the black Confirmation bean.

Anyway, it wasn't all as dry as a cardboard wafer or as dull as dirt-- largely, but not entirely. The Pastor could be pretty interesting when he'd talk or expound. It was the reference book with its ridiculous symbols and useless text that I objected to. I think I was disruptive... at least I tried to be. I asked questions designed to extricate those of us who were in peril of passing out and breaking our noses on the chest high table whereat we sat.

The Pastor announced before my children that " a person may as well not be a Christian if he or she does not attend church." I vociferously disagreed. I know plenty of superlative Christians who will not be found in Pewsville on Sunday. Quinn attends upon the confirmation of our own children, at their baptisms and at funerals of near kin. That's it. He feels neither the tugging heart strings nor pall of self recrimination that I feel when I'm not in my spot on the back pew on Sunday. I haven't been to church in months because of the Pastor's off handed comment. Well-- that's what I tell myself... of course, I was probably looking for a nifty excuse to get to sleep in and Watch Meet The Press on the Lord's Day. I feel very guilty about that and I might mend my ways soon. In the meantime...I'm waiting for Ron Paul's appearance with Tim Russert.

I did glean a few new things before I grew disenchanted.There are references to Jesus in the Bible as "the Word". Capitalized "W" in that Word. There are references to "the Word" going back and forth in both New and Old Testaments. I imagine at some foggy juncture the woman you mentioned overheard someone refer to Jesus as "the Word". Many believe that the Christ was written of in the Old Testament and called "the Word". Perhaps she caught a snippet of the passage in First John that reads, " In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."

Maybe that would explain it. We're taught; Father, Son and Holy Ghost--all rolled up in one God. In the Nicene Creed we say;

" We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only Son of God,
eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made,
of one Being with the Father.
Through him all things were made.
For us and for our salvation
he came down from heaven:
by the power of the Holy Spirit
he became incarnate from the Virgin Mary,
and was made man."

I don't question it--I never felt compelled to. I just believe it.

:)
Cindy

Sherri Shepherd, Mindless Meanderthal at Large
Many of the bibleborg try to sell the food they find with images of their 'master' on potato chips and grilled cheese virgin mary sandwiches. Not Sherri Shepherd...

I imagine that she would make 'smores by melting the chocolate jesus by the heat of burning crosses.

To be fair to her, I don't think lions care how or who prepares thrown christian.

AND I really don't think it was in Ebert & Roeper's job description when they failed to give a spoiler alert by praising Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ with 'Two thumbs up!'

Richard Halasz

DADDY STEPS INTO THE KAEL / WELLES SNAPFEST

All right, back there! Enough is enough! Your mother and I have had just about sufficient of you kids and your bickering! If I have to pull this car over, you'll ALL get a good smacking.

Now sit back, be nice to one another, keep quiet and enjoy the scenery, or you get no ice cream and maggoty bread when we get to Howard Johnson's. Why can't you all behave nicely, like Frank Church?

Tuckered out, Yr. Father

1965 2:30 pm EST Gemini 7 launched. Frank Borman & James Lovell. Flight duration 13 days 18 hrs 35 min 1 sec

And Depends are tested to the utmost limit of their designed capacity. Now THAT'S a space mission.


Chuck

There is a difference between presenting an opinion and a fact. Kael was being maligned because she had some negative views about Welles's character, not just because of the supposed facts she presented.

It's rare when someone calls an opinion they don't agree with "informed." They usually save that for the ones they like.

DD

Mr. Barber....

Comparing MY credentials and/or sagacity on film criticism/analysis to those of the Great One is, well, ah, SILLY.

Although, I have tried (in vain, lord in VAIN) to convince Harlan that if "The Oscar" was any better, it would be nowhere as GREAT.

See what I mean?

Silly.

Erik

this n' that

KOS: Am I reading correctly, are you saying, that according to the The Book of Rules, Yuri Gagarin not only never orbited the earth, but that because he parachuted down the last wee bit that his rocket ride doesn't even count AT ALL?

NOT the first human in space?? Even though he was? Goodness. These Rule People sound strict!

Also, was this Book of Rules for Space Records created before or after he flew? I'm hoping before, just because I like the idea of a Cabal of Knuckleheads (brainy ones) getting together in the middle of the century, all atwitter with anticipation of space flight, and codifying the Rules ahead of time. Prolly didn't go down like that, but I like the mental picture.

Adam-Troy Castro: Are you a masochist that you seek out and witness these terrible and deeply depressing television clips?? Yikes!

John Zeock: Boy, I hope you're right about The Other Side of the Wind. It would be a good thing to have it finished in a way that at least comes close to what Orson intended.

A first class restoration of Chimes at Midnight -- which very nearly happened a few years back -- would be an even better thing.

MM

ROB - Please. At best you're picking at nits. To question Pauline Kael's CVs regarding anything filmological -- at our level -- is very thin ice. I don't have a fraction of the expertise -- nor do you or (sorry pal ) Mr. Dooner. In point of fact, among the Webderland crowd, I would wager only Harlan and Erik Nelson could lay claims to such lofty credentials.

If you cannot prove her assertions wrong, then the automatic assumption of accuracy must fall to the "expert" not the novice. If you prove her assertions regarding Welles demonstrably false, then by all means do so and you will find me the first in line to admit error. But so far all I have read is much ado about nothing. Houseman and Mankiewicz appear to have contributed significantly to "KANE" and nothing's been proven to the contrary, at least as I have seen. ("Refuted", yes, "definitively proven" ... no.)

It's a simple, logical request. Not sure how this qualifies as "arcane" logic, but if it does, so be it.

But logic -- and our definition evidently needs comparison -- dictates you haven't refuted my position that Kael's opinions are, in reality, "informed". High-volume screaming to the contrary isn't a valid argument.

(See the Bush Administration's record on that particular account and you will understand what I mean.)
__________________________________________

ERIK - Has the viral infection had any noticeable effect upon your sought-after popular distribution of DWST?

dakota and bester
has anyone seen the story about the hadrosaur mummy named dakota? turns out hadrosaurs could run faster than a tyrannosaur and dakota had stripes- a coloration that suggests the ability to color change. a duck billed chameleon-my inner 9 year old is going crazy...also, has anyone read Alfred Bester's they don't make life like they used. i gave it to a friend of mine to read and on a long car trip she and i, for fun, worked out what i thought was a dynamite script. with the right two actors you could do a dynamite film for a budget of about $319.00. as always, i remain, obediently yours. (oh, Orson's the other side of the wind, maybe out in 2008. the last iranian investor has died and the family is no longer objecting to bogdanovich finishing the editing. we'll see...)

The first man in space was
Icarus, the head of NASA under the Bush Jr administration.

Here's a recent interview with Harold Pinter:

http://www.timeout.com/film/features/show-feature/3852/harold-pinter-interview.html

Sherri Shepherd is a product of Intelligent Design.








(or, as I usually call it, intentional deception)

What the Hell?
Mr. Castro: God Almighty! How did this woman get on TV?

Jaw-Dropping
Sherri Shepherd, who a few short months ago stunned her fellow hosts of THE VIEW by declaring not only that she didn't believe in evolution but also that she didn't know or care or think about whether the Earth is flat or round, just did it again, revealing in the context of a discussion of Ancient Greece that
she thinks Jesus came before everything. She has never heard that there was history "B.C." Has simply never encountered the concept, not once. Whoopi Goldberg tried to explain to her that events took place B.C, and Sherri said that she knows Jesus came first because "The Greeks threw Christians to the lions." No, she's told: you're thinking of the Romans. She insists, Christ came before everything.

This is celebrity, 2007.


Here's a clip.


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2007/12/04/sherri-shepherd-doesnt-g_n_75292.html

'Tis Autumn: The Search for Jackie Paris
Just wanted to pop in for a minute to say that if both God and the creek cooperate, I have firm plans to go see the documentary about Jackie Paris in which Harlan appears this Friday, December 7, in NYC. It's showing at Cinema Village, 22 E. 12th St. I'm going to the 7:50 show. I don't know if there are any New Yawkuzz here, but if anybody wants to meet up, email me. Or just look for me. I'm a bleached blonde these days but remain short, round, and relatively cute. I'll be with an Italian-looking guy who's quite a bit taller than I am.

I silence my cellphone and never talk during the movie.

Looking forward to seeing and hearing HE's contributions!

Man Into Space
And here for years sat I thinking as I am wont to have thought that the first Uman Bean to enter the celestial sphere still cloaked in mortal clay was:

Alice Kramden.

Or even mayhap Colonel Ed McCauley.

In harmony with the frolicsome mettle of the earlier posts on this subject, I will point out that grinning Yuri in April, 1960 didn't orbit the earth. Ah, you see: he ENTERED an orbital path, and remained therein at orbital speed ("Go! Go! Go!", Said The Bird, Who Had Heard The Word), BUT: (Ah, the inevitable BUT raises its' lovely and inevitable ButtHead) he de-orbited before completing a full orbit, landing somewhat short of his take-off point. Oh, and the rules (rules? yep, they have Rules for aerospace records. Somebody's got to keep track of this shit and it ain't some brewery in Ireland either.)

SO, where was I?

Ah yes, the Rules also require that an aerospace journey in order to qualify for the record book, that Official record book that counts for keeps, that an qualifying Jock O'Rocket must complete the journey to its' bitter end in the vehicle that he/she/they made the journey in. Alas, poor Yuri bailed out at some great height, ejected from the comfy womb of his spacecraft to the chill April winds of the Central Asian Steppe. This was not generally known, as in "kept secret" in order to cop the cup and keep the Imperialists from denying the People's Hero his just desserts.

To recap: Yuri was injected, then ejected, and if that had been detected his voyage would have been rejected. Yuri would have been quite dejected.

Oh, and John Glenn is still quite alive.

Alan Shepherd ws the first American to penetrate into the Realm Of Space, of course. He achieved an altiude of one-hundred kilometers and then some to spare, and one-hundred kilometers altiturde being the Offical rulebook Definition of Where Space Begins (and never ever ends, just ask the Hip Einie). You make it Up, UP And Away, one-hundred klicks high; make your Go-Ship Go Go Go like it will never come down, way out into the air up there and you are a JanuWine AstroSumBitch and can pin on the wings. You too can amaze friends and family with your tales of Space Monkey Man Fun.

Geroge Adamski? Ah yes. But then, maybe Richard Shaver got a ride on a DeRo space buggy? Ray Palmer might have known.

Myself, I always thought Claude Degler was a little bit too outre' to have not been dropped off by a passing AstroMobile.

But that's THE REST of the story.

Good Day!

KOS

David,

Absolutely! But it's America that COUNTS!

Ezra...

Very good! I'm gonna copyright that one in my name right away!

RE: Steve Barber & Pauline Kael

For some reason Steve assumes some arcane logic in asserting that "Pauline Kael opining on the achievements and career of Orson Wells would have to be considered an "informed opinion"'

The only matter I'm addressing is whether or not the history she cited with Welles and the Kane script was accurate or inaccurate. I read from a number of sources back around mid-90's pretty much what Dooner had posted here (No! I'm not going to hunt down those sources from so long ago;who the hell has the time! YOU look 'em up! The history's out there, so you can easily locate it yourself. 'Sides, I don't gotta, 'cause it ain't part of the basic argument I was making, i.e., whether or NOT Ms. Kael was factually correct).

If she was accurate - and the pieces I'd read on the matter were not - then her opinion was an "informed opinion". If she wasn't - and worse she publishes it - then the opinion she shapes on its basis is "MISINFORMED opinion". It's that simple.

It isn't an issue of my agreeing or disagreeing with her, Steve. It's the act of sitting here saying, "well, she was incorrect, still hers is an informed opinion". If she wasn't correct, then it isn't an informed opinion.

So much for Opining 101.

Alec Baldwin opines on the writers strike:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/alec-baldwin/the-buyers-long-term-pla_b_75298.html

----------

Harlan has almost as many hits as the prairie dog with the scary eyes.

-----------

Art is subjective, so informed opinions are still just regular opinions. Sure, take the person's acumen into account, but the fact that everyone has their inner bias motives plays into their decisions as well.

-----------

Bush won't give up on Iran either; it's like he wants them to have nukes so he can have the chance to blow the world up. Messianic visions my arse.

I meant, of course:

The HE Laugh-O-Meter.

-he

P.S. Erik ---- 72 THOUWWWWWW-zend? Hully geezus, the world's gone bugfuck.

-h

EZRA:

Now T*H*A*T'S fuuuuuunnnnnneeeeeee!

Ten for 10 on the HE-o-laugh-meter.

Thank you for enlivening my day.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

DAVEY C. (AKA Spacklepants):

You go, girl. Knock yerself out.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

ROBERT ROSS:

The Chair. Edogawa Rampo? Nope.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

The first man in space was
George Adamski, picked up by a flying saucer and taken to Venus, in 1947, to frolic with the nubile fire maidens riding tame brontosauri across the fern speckled swamps.

Not everybody knows that.

les bagatelles


The question of which American was first in space is a bit of a technical one. Whether two suborbital flights -- Shepard and Grissom -- qualify as getting into space proper may be debatable. Glenn, on the third Mercury flight, was clearly the first American to orbit the planet (three times). But he certainly wasn't the first human. The Soviet Union put a man in orbit (Gagarin) even before the two puny U.S. suborbitals.

And the Americans STILL haven't put a dog in orbit. We're losers.

Will Smith DIDN'T make a movie that's true to Matheson's novel? Man, why did you have to go and SPOIL it?

Spoiled rotten?
Tony, and anyone else who could actually use an occasional spoiler:

moviepooper.com.

Everyone else: never ever ever look at that site. Your eyes will try to crawl out of... um, never mind. Just don't.

Tony - neat link, thanks for sharing.

Ja, "Cramming," I meant.
Discovered my mistake at the usual point in time: immediately after the last possible moment at which it could have been corrected or avoided altogether.

The quoted line was from "The Big Chill". William Hurt said it, when he and Tom Berenger were sitting on a couch watching a gangster movie.

FRANK: John Simon? "A raving right wing loon?" Are you serious? I've always thought the man was brilliant, if at times a bit harsh. His PARADIGMS LOST is one of my favorite books. As a matter of fact, I think I was introduced to his work through several mentions in Harlan's essays.

Books
I'll say heidee-heidee-ho when they arrive.

My Susan and I are working on a way to offer them first and exclusively to those who hang in this corner of the internet; which for some reason I always have thought of as this labyrinthine cave full of twisty-turny little passages.

So if you are interested in the books, stay tuned.

KOS

Tony's post
Yo, TONY: You are SO analytical! Sometimes you have to let art flow over you.

(15 points to the Webderlander who can name the film which spawned that line, the name of the actor who said, and describe the scene in which it took place.

Sincerely,
One who digs quoteing goofy lines from Cohen brothers films and other cool cinematic wonders

I would be (for lack of a better word) delighted if anyone wants to go to the "Spoiler" thread in the Fora & tell me all about _I Am Legend_.

I'm being inundated with the trailers & commercials... & wondering WTF is going on.

Except for a flashing half-second, it's obvious that Will Smityh has re-made... _The World, The Flesh, & the Devil_.

You know, like...
buff handsome black guy...
last man alive on Earth...
broadcasting to the world, just in case...
camped out in a Manhattan apartment...

Then fold in 2 parts _The Omega Man_.

Simmer at 350 until crust just begins to form.

Top with dollops of _Night of the Living Dead_.

What I am notnotNOTfreakinNOT seeing here is anything to do with a certain Richard Mathesson novella entitled "I Am Legend."

And I don't see how any of the coked-out wankers associated with this product can possibly pull out the ending (which I will kindly not give away here) WHICH HAPPENS TO RESULT IN MAKING THE GODDAMNED TITLE SIGNIFICANT.

The message of the RM story has not come through At All in the previous two swell foops, & it looks to be even further wide of the mark here.

And I'm dreading the inevitable "9/11" references, at least because such pigeon-squashing would in-my-not-at-all-humble-opinion go completely against the author's intent.

As a final depressing garnish -- if this Moreauesque abortion had not claimed to be spawned directly from "I Am Elegend," I'd probably be looking forward to seeing it.

(Speaking of which: I just found passing comment that Philip Wylie, whose writing I adore, wrote one of the first film adaptations of "The Island of Dr. Moreau" that caused a huge flap for its shock value. Now I have to find it...)

In other news:
Some of ye denizens may enjoy this. The title may actually be the best part, though:
http://www.stanford.edu/dept/HPS/TimLenoir/MilitaryEntertainmentComplex.htm
Considering the political import of DoD-supported semi-prop films like _Blackhawk Down_ & others you can likely name, there's some interesting thoughts buried therein.

replies
Misti,

Sorry kind lady. I must have misread the tone of your post. My panties are now untwisted. But what a thrill!

Davey C.,

I personally think "Cramming" is funnier than "Stuffing," but feel free to enjoy it anywhichway with my blessing. Harlan has wisely trademarked his name, so I'm not sure where you would stand with that...

Books:

On vacation in Mexico I was reading (or, rather, trying to get through) Susan Sontag's "Against Interpretation, and Other Essays." I did not go to college, and this book is kicking my ass. I'm unfamiliar with most of the ideas she is setting out to rebut, and I'm unfamiliar with the history of literary and artistic criticism. I believe it puts me at a disadvantage. Certainly, it is necessary for me to understand the ideas she wants to knock down, before she knocks them down. She has not persuaded me to her side in the title essay, but I agree wholeheartedly with her essay, "On Style." Then she has written some interesting tidbits about other art and literary critics, arguing this way and that way, making arbitrary judgements. But perhaps I would understand the arguments if I was better educated, and understood the history a bit better. At any rate, I am still getting through this book.

-Keith

Nice You Tube comment....
72,000+ hits on The Rant.

And one of those hitters wrote and posted THIS:

"I have watched this about six times and can't get enough--I've sent it to every writer I know and we're all rolling on the floor laughing, and whenever things get dull, we turn to each other and say, "No, you go down to the store and buy it, Motherfucker!"

Sheer gold, sheer genius. I love this man, Harlan Ellison. I've been reading his stuff my whole damn long life. I think he's part of the reason I became a writer.

Thanks for all you have done and continue to do to inspire and kick ass."

John Glenn was NOT America's first astronaut in space
Rob:

That statement is correct: Glenn was not the first. Somehow, because JG was the first astronaut to go into ORBIT rather than a sub-orbital lob, everybody forgets the Redstone launches - even those who have watched THE RIGHT STUFF and should therefore know better (sigh!)

Karl Edward Wagner plus Best Movie Ending
shagin: Karl Edward Wagner's "Into Whose Hands" makes it into my list of top ten horror stories. Even more interesting when you consider the story takes place in a psychiatric facility and Wagner was a psychiatrist.

Frank Church: My favorite movie ending, if you can divorce it from the quality of the movie it is attached to (though the film isn't really bad) is John Frankenheimer's FRENCH CONNECTION 2.

Beowulf novelization
There is in fact a "Beowulf" movie novelization. By none other than Caitlin R. Kiernan (author of Silk, Threshold, Low Red Moon, Daughter of Hounds). She says on her blog that Mr. Gaiman himself recommended her for the task, and I'm sure she did it justice. Looks to be available on That Big Online Bookstore, but you could get it through your local shop, I'm sure.

The passing of one of the true giants of modern science should not go unremarked. See Hans Zimmer's nice tribute to SEYMOUR BENZER at http://scienceblogs.com/loom/

Keith Cramer


Some friends and I have a little something-to-do-in-an-empty-church-on-a-Monday-night jam band (current line-up: two old hippies on electric kalimba & Afro-Latino percussion; a zydeco sort of guy on washboard and whisk-n-mixing bowl; The Mighty Cliff on congas, talking drum, and about four large duffel bags full of various hand percussion; me on congas & musical saw; and with a little luck, Chichi, the gaspingly beautiful ten-year-old daughter of my fresh-from-Beijing next-door-neighbors, on flute). I don' know nuthin' 'bout modern dance, but there are always at least two or three interpretive dancers flinging themselves around the room in what APPEARS to be a celebration of the music. That or a calorie-intensive approach to cleaning the floor.

Now that we've played together for a while, learned each others' chops a bit, and more and more regularly hit some excellent grooves, we're thinking of recording some of our evenings together and whittling a few marketable numbers out of them.

With your kind permission, and the blessing of our host of course, I'd love to title one of them "Stuffing a Fiver Down the Waistband of Harlan Ellison's Sweatpants."

Eye Eye, Captain
Harlan and Susan,

Debbie sez, "Thanks much for the kind words and support." We went back to the opthamologist today for a follow-up on her other eye and so far, no more laser slashing is needed.

But when the time does come again, she is ready and willing to muster that brave Ellison Courage and dive in for more.

-TODD

Urm...

Rob.

No. Unh-uh. I believe Pauline Kael opining on the achievements and career of Orson Wells would have to be considered an "informed opinion". You may disagree with her, but disagreement does not necessarily negate decades of learned critical analysis on her part. I'd say "informed" is an area she can legitimately claim for her platform.

(And, erm, Steve Austin was a fictional character. Glenn, at least until recently, was actual flesh and blood.)

Harlan appears
Our esteemed host makes an appearance in Mike Gold's article here:

http://www.comicmix.com/news/2007/12/03/speaking-ill-of-the-dead-by-mike-gold/

Regarding Irwin Allen, etc.

Best,

Derek

John Simon's problem stems from the fact that he is a raving right wing loon. The guy said some racist stuff on a talk show about how blacks were all on welfare or some such rot.

The one thing Simon did that made me applaud was his defense of Schindler's List, which he thinks is a classic movie.

------------

I may agree though that Lady From Shanghai had the single best ending in movie history. No Rosebud, but lots of bullets and broken glass is even better then a burnt sled.

"Killing you is killing myself. But, you know what, I am getting tired of both of us."

Now that's writing.

Rob to Rob:

Oooooooh, yes: Brits have been long known to carry subconscious baggage from the 1859 Pig War!

Yet, look at my context in my last post and you should realize I am, in fact, a long-time fan of Roger's. Hence, the example when he pisses me off!

I didn't forgive him for giving 2 stars to Deliverance either.

Just as I couldn't forgive Leonard Maltin - who tend to enjoy as a rule - for giving (ah-hem!) 1 1/2 stars to Bladerunner!!

NO ONE always gets it right!

This thread actually got me thinking about Gene Siskel. He and Roger gave us an important message via their "Laurel & Hardy" routine: that critics AREN'T always right, and they disagree with one another as often as WE do. And I recall, in most of their visceral disagreements, I found myself siding with Gene more than with Roger. Yet, let there be no doubt I remain an Ebert fan - because in spite of "going off the deep end" at times, he writes better than most.

Dirk:

"Kael may have a negative opinion of Welles, but it's an informed opinion, which is the kind that counts, right?"

No - it's not an "informed opinion". It's a MISinformed opinion.

Let's say I insisted that John Glenn was NOT America's first astronaut in space; that he took credit for Steve Austin's feat. I tell you that I'd turned to several sources for my information - while, in fact, neglecting OTHER crucial sources to make sure I have clear knowledge about what really happened in that year.

On that basis, I call Glenn a low-life who stole someone else's name to fame.

That's NOT an informed opinion.

It gets annoying when people start walking about with that rhetoric, without thinking about its meaning!



Dirk
- Sunday, December 2 2007 19:6:23

Kael may have a negative opinion of Welles, but it's an informed opinion, which is the kind that counts, right? I don't think she considered wine selling when writing her book.

Kael Kael Bang Bang


:: "Raising Kane" really doesn't make any sense unless seen
:: as part of Pauline Kael's long-running dispute with Andrew
:: Sarris concerning the auteur theory. The piece's numerous
:: factual errors and distortions suggest that Kael may have
:: been the David Irving of film criticism, deliberately
:: altering historical truth in order to make it conform
:: with her prejudices.

Likening her to David Irving is a bit harsh. She may have been very wrong about Welles, but for people who have not read her film criticism, her passionate collections of reviews -- literate and engaging -- are well worth reading.

She certainly was never as catty as John Simon can be (and I love his writing, too).

Beowulf "novelization"

Barney: Don't know if there is yet a "novelization," but there is a nifty script book with two drafts of the screenplay and an essay explaining how they approached the material. http://www.harpercollins.com/books/9780061350160/Beowulf/index.aspx

MM

"Raising Kane" really doesn't make any sense unless seen as part of Pauline Kael's long-running dispute with Andrew Sarris concerning the auteur theory. The piece's numerous factual errors and distortions suggest that Kael may have been the David Irving of film criticism, deliberately altering historical truth in order to make it conform with her prejudices.

Welles
Although I'm coming to the discussion a bit late, almost everything I've ever read about Welles indicates that he was initially considering not giving Mankewicz any credit for the KANE script. He only relented when told how Mankewicz would make quite an issue over his non-credit, with ads in trade papers, newspaper and magazine interviews, ad infinitum.

BEOWULF - not in 3-D
I just sold my last copy of Burton Raffel's translation of BEOWULF. It may (or, may not) be worth noting that two copies went to Florida and the third copy to Tennessee. I have to wonder if these are just student sales or if someone thinks they are buying the novelization of the movie, in which case they are in for a bit of a slog and I may be in for at least one "hey, you bait and switched me!" letter, which would be nonsense since I match ISBN numbers - but that won't stop them, or even slow them down.

Is there a "novelization" of the movie? My favorite of these non-books remains "Fred Saberhagen's novelization of Francis Ford Coppola's Bram Stoker's DRACULA." That was the title, as it appeared on the cover. You just can't make these up.

Now we have a spate of these 3-D releases out there. Some of these have sections done just for the 3-D version. This has already resulted in listings on my video-on-demand such as "GENERIC MOVIE IN 3-D, in 2-D."

I can roll with this but it confuses the shit out of my mom and I don't look forward to re-explaining it to her once a month. I cannot wait until my daughter starts patronizing me and I don't notice. Of course, *that* Rubicon was probably crossed over six years ago.

- Barney

Norm McWhoozie

Unca Harlan,

You're correct Norm MacDonald did seem to be a fan. He also said you were a great writer and he knew of your many Hugo awards.

"two other excellent writers, Manly Wade Wellman and Karl Edward Wagner"

Manly Wade Wellman is certainly not to be missed. I have visited, and revisited, and re-revisited his works, enjoying them more with every read. I'll admit to having a soft spot for his Silver John short stories.

As for Karl Edward Wagner, I'll have to snoop around and see what I can find. Another author to add to the recommendations list of the pavillion...


shagin

Question: Does "The Chair" have anything to do with Rampo?

Comment: I just noticed in the morning paper that BLADER RUNNER: THE FINAL CUT is actually playing here in Minneapolis. Yipee!! For those of you in the Twin Cities, it's at the Uptown.

Davis Grubb's Night of the Hunter
It is indeed an excellent read. It's creepy, beautiful, moving, suspenseful and remarkably engaging. I have two copies, one of which is a battered, tattered first edition that I came across purely by accident in a rundown used book store in Oklahoma City a decade ago that was owned by a poor little Asian heroin addict. I loved browsing through those totally disorganized overflowing shelves. One day the place just shut down without warning though. No telling what happened to all those books.

Oops. Tangent.

Anyway. Yes. Night of the Hunter. Excellent.

Re: Davis Grubb
MICHAEL:

If you enjoyed Davis Grubb's VOICES OF GLORY, you might also enjoy his TWELVE TALES OF SUSPENSE AND THE SUPERNATURAL (Scribners, 1964). In addition, you might take time to check out work by two other excellent writers, Manly Wade Wellman and Karl Edward Wagner.

Raising Kael
I'm worried that people who haven't read "Raising Kane" will come away from this discussion with the impression that the essay is primarily about the authorship of the Kane script. It's not. Those sections are a fairly minor part of the piece.

Nor it this simply an attack on Welles. Kael says lots of nice things about Welles in the essay (no, really). She describes him as charming and tremendously talented. She does say he was arrogant ("There, but for the grace of God, goes God." as Mankiewicz put it) and that he was often cavalier about the contribution of others (particularly writers for the Mercury radio show) because, according to Kael, those who can do everything sometimes think that they have done everything, but how many brilliant, multitalented artists are free of those flaws?

(Praising Welles was not a departure for Kael. In her essay "Movie Brutalists," she included him in a list of great directors along with company like Griffith, Eisenstein, and von Stroheim. Trust me, when she didn't like directors, this wasn't the way she wrote about them.)

"Raising Kane" (which is widely available in the collection FOR KEEPS) is a critical essay built around character sketches of four men: Welles, Mankiewicz, Hearst, and the fictional Kane, all of whom started out with tremendous talent, youthful charm and promise and seemed to be on the verge of conquering the world, only to fall short due to excessive ambition and self-indulgence. Welles who made great films but far fewer than he should have. Mankiewicz, who started out the brightest light of the Algonquin round table and drank himself into irrelevance. Hearst who challenged Pulitzer for press dominance and Teddy Roosevelt as America's most important progressive voice only to drift rightward after losing control of his empire due to wild professional and personal spending. (G.B. Shaw said about San Simeon, "It's what God would have done if he'd had the money.")

Is this mix of biography, criticism and digression a good recipe for an essay? Of course not. Does Kael make it work? Depends on who you ask. Is it worth reading? Hell, yes.

But to recap, Kael consistently referred to Welles as one of cinema's true geniuses. The fact you've heard otherwise has more to do with Bogdanovich than it does with Welles, but that's a topic for a less civil conversation.

Mark

FOUND AT THE LIBRARY

Bob Homeyer asked “What are you reading these days?” just around the time that Harlan’s book fire sale lead to a discussion of library donations and both of those reminded me of something I wanted to post about.

Here in Tujunga we have a very pretty little branch of the LA Public Library. Just off the foyer in this library, they have a small store. Inside the small store are neighborhood volunteers who sell, at very low prices, the vast majority of the books that people donate to our library branch.

It’s a very nice little store, although no place to look for pretty books or collectables. If, however, you like to read romance novels in hardback editions, then you really ought to get out to Tujunga sometime.

Anyhoo – in addition to the donated books, they also sell decommissioned library volumes. Mostly these are books that have been read to pieces, but also some that, it was explained to me, “people just weren’t checking out anymore.”

“You mean,” I asked, “if the library has a really terrific book, a work of genuine artistry, in excellent condition, but no one has checked it out in the last few years, it gets sent on to the little store?!”

According to the volunteer, that is in fact the case.

Maybe he was wrong (he was not an actual employee after all), but it gave me the crawling heebee jeebees.

So. Outside this little store, they have a box of magazines that people have donated, and a box of books as well. These are free for the taking. Things that someone might enjoy, but the gang in the store don’t think they can sell even for just a quarter.

I found, in this giveaway box, a terrific book that I am enjoying.

It’s called Voices of Glory, by a guy named David Grubb. I suspect that many of you might already know of him. He wrote, most famously, The Night of the Hunter which was made into an excellently creepy film by Charles Laughton starring Robert Mitchum and Shelley Winters.

Voices of Glory is a portrait of a small town in West Virginia told through first person testimonials by many of its citizens (several of whom are already dead when they testify). It has a strong Spoon River Anthology feel to it – so much so that I wonder if it’s a deliberate homage. But what makes it very different from Edgar Lee Masters work (and what binds the whole thing together as a novel), is that each testimonial is specifically about one person, a character named Marcy Cressap, the Public Health nurse who is loved by many but also despised by many others. So far she is always offstage, so you get a kind of Rashomon by way of Spoon River in coal country vibe (although Grubb tips his hand a little, clearly Cressap is meant to be a heroine).

The writing is excellent. The voices are fabulous. Like Spoon River, I suspect it would make a hell of a stage piece.

So now I am wondering. Do any in this highly literate crowd know the writings of Davis Grubb? Is the novel The Night of the Hunter an excellent read in the way that the movie is an excellent view? How are his other books? Worth seeking out? Anyone? Any opinions?

MM

Adam, I was not snarking on Welles, who I consider to be a great filmmaker. Someone else said his wine selling was a reason for others to slander him. My point was that Kael didn't do that-she had a different point of view of his movie, which doesn't make her a fool. And there's nothing wrong with selling wine, either.

Needs To Be Said
Dirk, I don't really understand the widespread impulse to snark on accomplished people on the basis of their most degraded moments, but let me put it this way. Orson Welles could have gone straight from the premiere of CITIZEN KANE to spending the rest of the life wearing a clown suit at supermarket openings, and still been eulogized as one of the great moviemakers of all time.

Kael may have a negative opinion of Welles, but it's an informed opinion, which is the kind that counts, right? I don't think she considered wine selling when writing her book.

From One Rob To Another
Rob said 'To sidestep the subject of "film critics", the bottom line is, no matter WHO you are, NO critic gets it right ALL the time.'

Roger Ebert certainly got it right with BABE 2: PIG IN THE CITY. This jewel of a film was mercilessly roasted by virtually every critic under the sun.

Mr Ebert named it as one of his Ten Best of the Year.

I've just watched it again. He was correct.

'Whatever the pig says....goes!'

Cheers
Rob E.

Alan,sorry our cold and icy weather has headed your way.I would have preferred we did not get it either. There were many accidents on the icy roads,quite a few which were single car accidents where they went sliding off the freeway into ditch.The sidewalk and lot in my condo complex are horrible. I took my mother out for lunch today and walked her arm in arm across the grass to get her to my car without either of us landing on our kiester.
Then myChicago Bears lost today.Nurtz!

Paging Colleen Doran...
Colleen, if you're visiting here any time soon, could you drop me an e-mail? A friend of mine is trying to get in touch with you regarding some work you did for Marvel way back when. Thanks.

(My apologies for the intrusion, Uncle Harlan.)

You knock Clockwork Orange - which I think is as close to perfection as a movie can be - and I'll push your nose in my cat's litter box!

Ummmmm.....donuts.........

Buffet on the Serengeti
Harlan, you've already received all the advice I could offer. Give them away to where they will bring the most happiness. When I do, it does my heart a world of good. Short of that, as one of the jackals on these here plains, I 'd be interested to see what you have in your claws there. Always interested in new books, and and if'n you want some ducats, we'll do that too. List away!

Harlan -

Speaking of dead gophers, this week's NY Times Book Review features an essay on the phenomenon of cigarette (and other) advertising in paperbacks in the '70s. What I wouldn't give to see a letter from you in those pages explaining how you dealt with the problem...

Count as a Dooner supporter, too
After my first post, I went back into my small library'ooOrson to check the facts. Dooner's summary is as comprehensive and as accurate as an Internet discussion needs to be.

As for Kael, maybe I was unnecessarily harsh... but for all of her enthusiasm, and genuine love for movies, she shares some enthusiasts' habits that don't sit too well with me. The worst example being this: while she was researching her piece on _Kane_, not once did she even attempt to speak to Orson Welles about it. That's fine, if you're writing a _review_ of the film... but if you're trying to determine Who Did What, you're engaged in _journalism_. Which requires that you try to hear from the relevant parties.

(And okay, there's a certain defensiveness that fans of Orson Welles develop about the man. For decades, now, people think of him primarily as the pompous fat man pushing wines. Or they think of that tape of Welles growing angry at a director trying to film a peas commercial. Or, that he made one great film, and the rest of his career was hackery and dissolution. So when a voice like Kael's weighs in to take away the credit for that "one great film," it's especially damaging. And when you consider Welles's accomplishments despite the failures-- his political qwork in the 1930s and 1940s, his innovative work on radio and in the theater, his work for civil rights in the 1940s, the strong probability that he was truly _hounded_ out of the country by the likes of Hoover... well, one doesn't like to see a great man maligned by his lessers.)

Jan, we do not censor words here; say fuck with pride: Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Fucking fuck fucking with the fucking fucks.

Breathe the heady air of freedom; eat, drink, light your hair on fire.

--------------

Citizen Kane is one of the great masterpieces of all time, the consensus is in--there cannot be a debate. This is one time and one time only that I will play the elitist card. Kane rules!

------------

Rob, I can imagine you owning one of those masks the droogs wear.

--------

Exclusive, here is my baby picture. Wink.

http://www.thenation.com/student/

Note: Not that anyone should listen to REPENT, I'm saying this for Harlan, obviously.

Okay, it's that time of the month again. I'd love to mention only the two hilarious shaky-camera excerpts of Harlan at the Screenwriting Expo 2003, but yesterday someone from Euclid, Ohio, also uploaded his own personal performance of REPENT in three f****** parts. Go to youtube, search for HE, click on DATE ADDED.

Not sure if the speeches can stay up, but I had a great laugh.

BTW, new discovery: Mark Rolston. EXCELLENT diverse actor!

I, of course, am entirely in "Doonerbury" on this. The info Steve posted corresponds with stuff I read on Welles history for years.

To sidestep the subject of "film critics", the bottom line is, no matter WHO you are, NO critic gets it right ALL the time.

I had lotsa trouble with plenty Pauline Kael had written, but then, again, I'm occasionally incensed by Roger Ebert too (Shit! You knock Clockwork Orange - which I think is as close to perfection as a movie can be - and I'll push your nose in my cat's litter box!)

No one always gets it right.

Having said that, Mr. Dooner is correct.

2 THINGS, UNRELATED

1) KOS. Box packed. Address in hand. Outta here Monday. Thanks.

2) My only word on this: Pauline Kael loved my work, and wrote the ONLY review of "The Oscar" that exonerated me of its awfulness. I have all of her books of criticism, and she was--in my view--a G*R*E*A*T film critic. Her "Raising Kane" may or may not be a misfire--draw a tin cup of hot joe at whichever campfire suits you--but do not dismiss a writer as sagacious as Ms. Kael out of hand. She wouldn't do it to you.

Yr. Pal, stepping back, Harlan

On Welles . . . I really tried to stop myself from writing this.

According to Orson Welles, the writers of 'Citizen Kane' are Orson Welles, Herman Mankiewicz and John Houseman. Houseman never took credit on the final film, of course, but Orson was always quick to mention his contribution. Welles was also generous when speaking of Mankiewicz's contribution, which were often the poetic additions of a master screenwriter. The reverse was not true, both Mankiewicz and Houseman pushed the myth that Orson had not written a single word of the 'Kane' screenplay, and Kael picked this up from them and did the "hit job" on Orson. 'The Citizen Kane Book' was Kael doing dirty work for two embittered persons,and her book, marred by its vindictiveness, is in no way a signifcant contribution to the art of film criticism.

As Charles Lederer noted to Peter Bogdanovich, had the 'Kane' script gone to arbitration, Welles would probably have been given top credit. First of all, it was his concept. The film's structure was his idea. Many of the innovations in the script were straight from Welles' experiences in radio and theater. Welles also had written several scenes entirely on his own (and the manuscript pages of these scenes have been discovered by Bogdanovich) and Welles did all the final revisions on Mankiewicz's pages that came daily to him on the set.

Doubters should simply look at the structure of the film. It should be entirely familiar to people who have even a passing familiarity with Welles' work on radio. The use of the newsreel for the film's exposition is a direct replay of the 'War of the Worlds' broadcast, and Howard Koch, who adapted the H.G. Wells' book for the Mercury Theater, has gone on record as saying that the news broadcast idea was definitely Orson's. Further, Orson had worked for March of Time, so he was familiar with the newsreel style and its uses as propganda.

Any fan of Welles' radio shows can also recognize Welles' "first person" approach being used in 'Kane,' as Thompson doggedly tries to put the pieces of the broken snow globe together. Welles' actually wanted the film to be more like the later Rashomon, and he took his inspiration from 'Heart of Darkness' and from Browning's 'The Ring and the Book.' Welles, however, claims never to have seen 'The Power and the Glory.'

If we assume Kael is correct and that Welles wrote not a word of Kane, it's difficult to explain thise existing manuscript pages. It's also peculiar that the film is dripping with details from Welles's own life. Welles' got his first postive stage review from the man who is called "Jed Leland" in the film; Welles' own guardian was named "Bernstein," though the brusque working-class character in the film in no way resembles Welles' rather sophisticated guardian, the name was put there as a tribute. It was also Orson, not Hearst or McCormack, who had been through a string of boarding schools just like Charlie Kane. (Incidentally and rather obviouslym, it's Orson who learned to wiggle his ears in boarding school as well).

Lastly, many of the montages and visuals in the film were not in the screenplay. Though it's common to do a lot of the visual thinking on the page today, I am thumbing through my copy of 'The American' screenplay right now, and I'm noticing how much of the final film was left unwritten. This was clearly Welles' baby all the way.

I apologize for writing this comment. I had been hoping that this thread would die, so I would not have to clutter up Harlan's living room with this nonsense. My frustration have mounted as I heard more people defending Kael's execrable book. Ich kann nicht anders.

Steve Dooner

Dang, I wanted me some o' them books.

Oh, Keith, Keith, Keith.....

Surely you've heard the one about the unfortunate tourist who went into a bar in (enter name of developing nation here), and awoke in his hotel room to find himself propped up in a washtub full of ice, a VERY sore back, and a note hastily scribbled in lip stick on the dingy washroom mirror warning him to GET TO THE NEAREST AMERICAN HOSPITAL QUICK QUICK QUICK because half his organs are at that moment being exchanged on the black market?

Yeah, prostitution is nice, clean and legal in Mexico. It's what Walmart calls a "loss leader....."

Sleep tight. Bring home a sombrero for me.

THE CHAIR!!!!

When will we know? WHEN?

THE CHAIR!

aw heck keith, don't get your (figurative) panties in a twist! i was not passing judgment, i was merely (hopefully) adding to the comedy. playing the 'diseases-one-gets-from-mexican-prostitutes' lottery is kinda like 'riding the evacuation ride', which was a quite a bit more funny pre-katrina et al. *wink*

The whole enchilada
May be shipped to the address I have emailed to Mr. Wyatt, for him to pass along the Jungle Telegraph to your vine. I'll look 'em over and send you the d'argent très rapidement.

(I'll initially list the tomes here, that these fine folks might skim the cream. Seems only fair. What's left will go to eBay.)

KOS

Zack---as I have said here before, sometimes violence IS the answer.

Re: Errol Flynn as a Nazi spy: Mark said "Although their books (still in print) have been disputed the damage done goes on." --- once it is in print, it is always "true", especially to those who look for conspiracies and hidden ideas. The recent Charles Schulz book has been vilified by Schulz's children, long time friends, and co-workers as only showing a small part of Schulz's character. The author (typist?) of the work was heavily involved in the PBS program, too, so that program also re-enforces the author's view that Schulz was a depressed man who never touched his children. The damage goes on.

misti---you're a funny lady.

Roger---why didn't you keep that weather? It's just starting here.

Kael not a "Know-Nothing"
I don't believe that Pauline Kael was a "know-nothing" as Mr. Siano puts it. It is sad to think that this essay may have damaged Welles' reputation, however, "Raising Kane" (reprinted in the "Citizen Kane Book") helped my film-watching experiences.

The essay mentioned "The Power and the Glory", an early screenplay by Preston Sturges and is certainly similar to Kane in structure. I was then able to go to my (then) local second-run theater the Ken Cinema to view a film I might have skipped, had I not read this book. Also, she helped me to appreciate Gregg Toland's work on the film, so I then ran off to see "Mad Love". Seeing both of these enhanced my enjoyment of one of my favorite films.

"The Citizen Kane Book" may have errors, but it is not the work of someone who is clueless about cinema.

Brian Phillips

Inexpensive Books
HARLAN: Yep. I'm interested.

Tim

KOS WINS THE FUR--LINED BANANA !!!!!!

Holy gadzoley, Betty Spaghetti!

Since the object was to send along ALL the books, sans waste or turmoil, and to make a small buck off the deal so I could buy a book or three for myself (such as that new Saylor), which thus eliminated prison donations--an otherwise good suggestion I will effectuate in future--I fear I'll mildly disappoint all the rest of you, because Kos has made all my dreams come true!

Kos, kiddo: here's how I'd like to do it. Susan will do the superlative packing today or tomorrow. Thirty-five books, several of which have been signed to me by the authors but for one or another reason I need not keep. 18 mass-market paperbacks, all the rest trade pb or hardcovers. The shipment will come to you by media mail, posted on Monday. When you get the box, look through it, check for damage-in-shipment, and decide how much you can conveniently, happily pay. Send me a check or cash, whichever is easier. I'll absorb the postage cost. One, two, three...and done!

I'll need the address to which you want the box sent. YOU figger out how to get it to me before Monday without risking revelation to the usual cabal that nests here.

Have I missed anything? Post a reply at your convenience.

As for everyone else, well, I apologize for wiring you up. But there is always THE CHAIR! Oh yes, ohmyyes, soon cometh THE CHAIR!

Yr. Pal, Harlan

replies
Harlan, I say you just stack them up at the edge of your kitchen and when we leave the Art Deco Dining Pavilion, we can browse through them. If we like one, we'll plop a moist one on your cheek, cram a fiver down the waistband of your sweatpants, and toodle-loo. Saves from having Susan do all that packing, too.

Regarding gambling in Mexico: I did see some gambling here, but it was not at a dedicated establishment. I think Cozumel specializes in gambling. The resort at which I stayed hosted a few poker games in the bar at raised table. I can find out more later. I never got bit by the gambling bug, only the mosquitos.

Alan, as misty said: good one.

Misty, since prostitution is heavily regulated here (virtually eliminating disease and human trafficking in the trade), your penis is safe (figuratively speaking, of course) here. A very dear female friend of mine got genital warts from her second boyfriend in the States. As with all sexual endeavors, protection is key.

Adios for another day mi amigos! And bienvenidos, misty!

-keither

Books Redux
I'll buy the whole stack, (name the price, I'll see if it works) ship them to me Media Mail in one big box, and I will list them in my little eBay store at their current average sale price, culled from current listings on eBay/Amazon/Alibris. If they sell for a cumulative total of less than I paid for them, I eat the loss. If they cumulatively sell for more than I paid for them, I remit the gain to you. I.E. I do this for you as a service.

I sell things for people often, and have references.

It would save you some time and effort, and that ain't bad.

KOS

ps. to Jan's remarks
I don't think eBay is good for this. Better to post a list here with prices, set a grab time-frame and be done with it. eBay, especially combined with Paypal take a ridiculous bite on the front and back end of the listing and the eBay listing mechanism is still overly complicated. Plus, some of Harlan's stuff is ARC and advance galley proof material which is "not for resale" prohibited in most cases on eBay and Amazon. Alibris does ARCS, but you need a $39.00 a month merchant account to make that work over there I'm pretty sure. I have one, but I list hundreds of new books every month so for me it's worth it because then I have a hassle free way to sell arcs - but that's a lagniappe for me and not a good model for Harlan & Susan.

Spider Robinson used to use ARC's for stove fodder in Nova Scotia winters. That used to horrify me, but it no longer does.

- Barney

Heatingbill, PA.

Books
***Harlan*** No skin off my nose. Last time I looked (this morning) I had about 8,000 books in my garage that still need posting and I took in two more boxes yesterday. Plus, since your stuff is all relatively new to VERY new, it's unlikely we'd overlap on even a single title. And the things I sell day to day are not likely to be anything anyone would dream of sending you. MARKET SECTOR INVESTING? The Encyclopedia of Needlework (1917 revised)? Battle Vixens volume #1-6?

I call my business "Any & All Books" for a reason.

So, knock yourself out. My recommendations would be ship using MEDIA MAIL rather than 1st class or priority. You can use delivery confirmation slips if you like, and if "bounced" the U.S.P.S. is obliged to return. Bound printed matter is also fair and cheap but I'm not sure you can track and I know it gets dead lettered (no return attempt) at the 1st sign of trouble.

Don't offer International shipping for anything near or over 4 pounds. The shipping becomes ridiculous after 4 pounds now that they've eliminated "surface" (slow boat) shipping and the white custom forms (6 ply) are a bitch to fill out.

Yours in low rent capitalism,

Barney Dannelke (Master of his packing/shipping table)

That must be the books Gaiman picked one from that he loved.

I would use eBay for the more interesting-looking titles, the effort would really pay off with mint hardcovers, anything with a bit of collector's value and not too common. I usually check the recent bids on every book before I put it on, that saves you time and money. I'm sure that if you use eBay, many people here are able to give more detailed advice, like what program to use to make it quicker.

The books that survive this process could be used to support your local used bookstore, if they're buying. You pay taxes for libraries.

Book sale/giveaway
Dear HE,

I'd love to see a list of the books you need to clear out, but I have to agree that donating them might be the easiest way (no shipping, no dealing with who wants what, no fuss) to get rid of them.

Thanks,
Tony Adams

Welles...and Bradbury
As there are clearly Welles fans, and not a few Californians, on here, I thought this might be a good place to flag up a search which is currently underway on behalf of Ray Bradbury. Namely, the search for a video recording of Bradbury and Welles from an LA TV station in 1983/4. Here's the plea from my colleagues at the Center for Ray Bradbury Studies. If you can help, tell 'em Phil sent you!

---------
The Center for Ray Bradbury Studies at Indiana University would like help tracking down a
video tape for one of Ray Bradbury's most illusive television appearances. On New Year's
Eve 1984 (presumably December 31, 1983), Ray Bradbury taped a television show in Los Angeles
(possibly CBS) with Orson Welles reading passages from Something Wicked This Way Comes
(Welles had read for the film narration about a year earlier). RB provided commentary,
and also read a message about the New Year and his belief that George Orwell's 1984 would
never arrive. It was a message of hope and a great hour of television, but RB discovered
that the show was not taped by the network studio. Neither Donn Albright nor Jon Eller
have been able to locate any private recordings of this show, but Mr. Bradbury has asked
them to find a recording if at all possible. If any of the discussion group participants
have a home-made recording of the 1984 Bradbury-Welles New Years show, or perhaps know of
someone who does have a recording, please let us know at the Bradbury Center so that a
copy of this show can be archived. Thanks very much.

You can reach us at akbarret@iupui.edu, jeller@iupui.edu, or wtouponc@iupui.edu.

Thank You!
Amanda Barrett,
Jon Eller,
William F. Touponce
--------

I would love to see the list of books you have available. My current pile waiting of books to read is down to three and could use an addition if something strikes my interest.
Terrible weather here in Iowa today. I was going to work four hours overtime today and called in before I left to see if they were even open. They said not to even attempt to come in it is so icy out.

recent introductions...
i write this as an acknowledgment of recent introduction, myself to mr. ellison. i recently came across video footage of your interview regarding not only the disinclination of corporate mainstream to pay writers, (read: musicians, artists, anyone not living in the cubicle wasteland and who utilizes their inherent creativity to escape it), but also touching on the proliferation of the amateur as one reason for said lowering of the financial bar. and i wanted to say bravo, sir. thank you for not only saying it but for being in a position for your words to reach further than the rest of us.

while i have at points been a rather avid science fiction devourer and thus familiar with your name, i will not prevaricate by suggesting that i have read your works in the past. i will say that, after seeing this video clip and doing the web-searches that led me to this page and others, i am most certainly a new fan and will seek them out.

thank you for being thoughtful, mr. ellison, for having a loud voice and allowing your outrage to overflow to where it will hopefully do the most good. and for bludgeoning closed minds open a wee bit, as the case may require. (*grin*)

all the best to you and yours! misti

ps: i'm not sure if you allow urls to be posted in this forum, but this is my recent little want-ad spoof regarding venue managers who prefer not to pay their musicians and instead offer the Opportunity to Play for Free!!! (http://tampa.craigslist.org/muc/494693380.html) -please delete if it irritates you or is in violation of a rule that i missed.

post post-script: while i thought that alan's response to keith's playa del carmen travelogue was about as hilarious as it could get, i think he might just underestimate the unmitigated thrill involved in wondering if his genitalia will fall off or merely abscess beyond recognition in the diseases-one-gets-from-mexican-prostitutes lottery! *snort*

Books to libraries
As Charlie said, the prison libraries are one option, but you might also consider school or college libraries in your area, if you think the books might be useful in those places. I've donated quite a few books to libraries here and back in the Chicago suburbs when I lived there. When I brought in a box, I usually asked them to pass any books they couldn't use back to me so that I could donate them elsewhere, and they were almost always pretty good about doing so. These days, with libraries making their catalogs available on the web, you can usually find out whether they already own the books you're thinking of donating and save the trouble of schlepping the stuff to places that don't need it.

Bests,

--tr

Welles Writings and Readings
Pauline Kael and Charles Highman (the last writer who put in print his belief that Errol Flynn was a Nazi Spy!) were the one's who damaged Welles reputatuion as both a creator and a writer. Although their books (still in print) have been disputed the damage done goes on.

The Wellesnet website is an excellent place to start researches on the authorship of Citizen Kane, and Welles' collaborative techniques with other writers. If you require a book of two on Welles for your bookshelf let me recommend "Citizen Kane: A casebook" edited by James Naremore and "The Magic World of Orson Welles" by the same author. I will be happy to recommend other titles...including Jonathan Roseblum recent "Discovering Orson Welles". In fact my Welles Collection fights for space with my Ellison Collection but these seem to be at peace right now.

As for current readings:

The House of Vestals ny Steven Saylor which is a collection of "Gordianus The Finder" mysteries set in ancient Rome.

Alone with the Horrors by Ramsey Campbell an excellent collection of his horror short stories.

The Movement and the Sixties by Terry Anderson A well thought out look at an era that offers a nearly "Roshomone" opportunity to anyone who takes on the task to trying to explain that time and place.

Tender Comrades by Patrick McGilligan and Paul Buhle. Profiles and interviews with members of the Hollywood Ten and close relations. An excellent oral history for those who need a place to start on a time as Ray Bradbury said was when "The gargoyles took over the catherdral."

These books are all worth you seeking out for a read if any of them catch your fancy. Now, to find a way in which Harlan can remove his tower of books with both profit and safety......that could be a three pipe problem.

Ellison's Book Attic


HARLAN - Bypass Amazon and simply have Rick post a list of the titles/authors with a requested price avec shipping. Or maybe in the next RABBIT HOLE?

Either way, it's better than tossing (never recommended when it comes to books). And maybe titles that don't sel... er, get redistributed could be donated to something like Penny Lane or a local shelter. (It IS the holiday season, after all...)

My two cents.

"and the one or two inevitable brain-dead interlineations meant to send me screaming."

No, Harlan, I will refrain from that--at least for a few days.

Wuv u Hawlin.

-----------

What Are You Reading These Days?
I'm in the middle of "69 AD: The Year of Four Emperors" by Gwyn Morgan.

How about you?

First, as you said, I think you should put up a list of the books you want to sell right here in the Pavillion. We can check the high/low prices, adjust our interest accordingly, etc. Then those of us who are interested in buying one or all can send our offer(s) to you, and you can choose from there. Payment can be sent via Paypal, if you're registered there, or to your home via regular mail. This seems like the most expeditious way to shorten your stack, other than going to a thrift and dumping them.

When the dust clears, I'd go with Mayhew's suggestion and list with one of the online retailers. I'd recommend going with Amazon first, as their set up is easy, you can compare and adjust your prices accordingly, and they won't charge you anything until the book sells.

Books
I rarely leave the house without coming back with a book of some kind. It's a compulsion with me. Library sales, used book shops, garage sales, the local Borders and Barnes and Noble (which sadly ran the actual local shops out of business years ago)--there's always a reason to stop somewhere and pick something up. All of which is by way of saying, if someone asks me if I might be interested in buying some books, my answer is YES.

Hope that helps!

Harlan, why not? However, as an alternative, libraries at prisons are usually in need. Maybe you could even get a charitable deduction on your taxes-though I'm no CPA.

RE: The Idea

Harlan: I might be interested in some of the books you mentioned. The phrase "picture books" made my ears prick. I'm a sucker for pretty picture books.

Regarding pricing, you could check and see what the same book is going for over at Amazon Marketplace (the part of Amazon.com where regular folks can sell books for whatever the market will bear).

I realize that you use the internet only very minimally, but if someone in your posse (maybe Susan??) is a little more comfortable with that sort of thing, both Amazon Marketplace and Alibris.com (an all used book online store) might be useful venues for you to move your unwanted books, regardless of whether the folks here would like to buy them.

However you approach it, getting the books out of your space and into the hands of those who will enjoy them -- and making some coin in the process -- seems like a good idea out here at the Tujunga Branch Office.

MM

Books
Mr. Ellison,

I would certainly be interested in a listing of books that you would like to have taken off your hands. While I cannot recommend prices, or even a model of the bones to flesh out such a beast, should I be interested in anything you chose to offer I will pay the requested price.

As you've admitted to being a fan of Phil Folgio's work, anything of his would be a splendid find.


shagin

THE ''IDEA''

Hell, I don't know if any of you will think this is much of a thing beyond "Ellison making a buck," but I'll lay it out...and if you want a piece of it, well, that's okay. If not, THAT'S ok, too. Here's the background set-up.

I am a Child of the Depression. 1934. I was brought up not to waste anything. Turn the lights out when you leave the room. Pick up trash on the street and put it in the recycler. Pass on newspapers and magazines to others. Squeeze the toothpaste tube from the bottom, then roll it up tightly. Save rubber bands, wrapping paper, paper clips. Pennies on the street.
I ALWAYS take a doggie bag home. I eat the stale muffins in the breadbox before I'll use the fresh.

I am sent a great many books for the aggrandizement of publisher or author. Maybe ten a week minimum. Brand-new or forthcoming hardcovers, paperbacks both trade and mass-market, Advance Reading Copies (aka ARCs, which are bound page-proofs, for those of you who might not know). Picture books, novels in Spanish, coffee table books, you name it--I got it.

Sometimes, but not often, I get something I want to read and/or review. They send this stuff out in hopes of a blurb. Or a review. Unsolicited, usually unwanted; and intrusive, as well as being moral blackmail. But that's an aria for another time.

Most of it doesn't even interest me, and so I stack it.

Well, the stack is probably thirty or forty brand-new titles, fiction and non-fiction, fantasy and mystery, hard and softcover. And I cannot bring myself to toss them out, or to give such modern titles to a library that will shuck them; nor would such a "charitable" act put a dime in my hand so I can go buy a book I DO WANT.

The idea:

Anybody want to buy some books inexpensively?

I do not mean to poach Barney's patch, but the stack is driving me buggy, what with space and all. So I'll let you folks tell me yes or no, you're interested or shine it on. If Y'all can suggest what I should charge for these things--all in mint condition, w/dw where issued, unmarked in any way, mint new--in such a formula that you get a smashing good deal, for Xmas gifts or just for your own reading pleasure--I'll post a list of what I've got, and how much each volume should be. The postage will be bare minimum, something like 4th class, but with Susan's usual spectacular wrapping security.

I guess I'll let it sit for a couple of days, to let you muse on this. Sunday night I'll pop back in and see what you've had to say. This is no "Fire Sale" or Help the Starving Ellisons. It's just a reluctance to waste, and if I can make a buck off the clearance, well, that's super splendid.

I await your queries, your suggestions, your business-model plans, your analyses, and the one or two inevitable brain-dead interlineations meant to send me screaming.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

Kick him in his teeth
Whatever happened to our ability to beat the shit out of someone who deserved it? I grew up hearing stories like "Jimmy was acting like a real shit, so we made him not act like that no more."

No more. If I popped a guy in the mouth today for speaking inappropriatly towards my sister, I'd go to jail. It pisses me off.

Like that yokel in NH. Knock him in the fucking head. He can't pull the trigger if he's out cold. This is reality. Yokels don't have deadman switches.

I'd go to jail for assaulting a yokel. And then it would turn out that he didn't even have a bomb. Unarmed yokel's worth big money or a few years, I guess.

I mean, I understand Non-violence. I agree with the principle, but how is it going to work when we have so many functional psychopaths that CAN'T understand that they are hurting non-violent you?

It's absurd, but I suppose it's still worth trying. Especially since I'll go to Parchman Farm if I scramble anyone's eggs.

And now a question for Mr. Cramer:

Do they have gambling in Playa Del Carmen?

Erin Fleming
I don't take any pleasure in someone committing suicide, having known someone who did that. It's usually a sign of sickness. But just because I derive no joy from their demise, it doesn't mean that justice wasn't served.

I'm reminded of a line from the movie Manhunter. Upon hearing Will Graham express pity for the abused little boy who grew up to be a vicious serial killer, the head FBI agent, incredulous, asked him if he was feeling sorry for the murderer. Graham replied of course he was, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to blow the sick f**k out of his socks. You can take stasfaction in justice without being happy about it.

Addendum
Harlan: then you'll be especially gratified to know what I found out after writing that little essay, that her death by suicide in 2003 followed later years that included living as a homeless bag lady around Hollywood Boulevard. Is it cruel for us to take satisfaction in this? Perhaps. But it feels fitting.

Harlan you tease!

If it's something especially crazy, count me in.

OBIT ALERT!
The greatest stunt motorcyclist in the entire Universe....is DEAD! Yes....Evel Knieval died today at age 69 after a long
illness.

I still have this mmmmmmmm sort-of idea I want to waterboard you with. He said, ending with a preposition, thereby causing Winston Churchill to rotate like a core-sample drill in his tomb. But I've taken so long answering all the needful-of-reply here posted in the immediate past, I fall in the traces.

Next time.

-he

HOLD EVERYTHING ----- WAITAMINUTE WHOA!!!!!!!!

Forget sending off that snotty response to Miller and McWhoozie.

I read the NEXT posting, and it seems Norm thinks I'm okay.

LOOOOOVE, just luh-uv Norm McDonald's brand of subtle, virile, incisive and multifarious humor. CanNOT get nuff of it!

Folks, I be no less the approbation whore than thou. Someone likes me, I likes them back. I have enough genuine enemies in this life to permit a bit of sycophancy toward them as AIN'T disposed to downbeat me. If you have bad cess to spare, send it to the karma address of, well, You Know Whom.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

REPLY TO TODD

Give Debbie a hug from Susan and me, and tell her we said: You Go, Girl!

All best to both, Harlan & Susan

MILLER and McDONALD

RAY CARLSON:

Do me a favor, willya? Get this to Miller and/or The Comedian.
Using that web-dooo that yooo doooo so well.

I have no idea if Norm McDonald (or Macdonald, or MacDonald, or howsomever he spells it) means, by "fruitier than Carmen Miranda's hat," that I am a) crazy, or b) gay. But...

If the former, he's correct. If the latter, I will pay him $40,000 if he can locate and authenticate the story of, in the known universe, any one person of a male gender, with whom I have had sex. My wife, four ex'es, and a plethora of friends, man and woman, straight and gay, may be called upon for comment.

Either way, since Mr. McWhatever is voicing "informed" opinion about someone he's never met, please pass along that I may be "fruitier than Carmen Miranda's hat," but my exposures to his tv appearances have confirmed me in the opinion that Norm is about as funny as a carrion picnic on the Serengeti.

You can have someone explain it to him, if needs be.

Yr. pal, Harlan

Of the more recent interviews, none busted balls like the one between Larry King and Jerry Seinfeld - particularly when they got to the matter of whether Jerry's tv show had been a network cancellation or an historic bow-out:

KING: It lasted how long?
SEINFELD: Nine years -- 180 episodes.
KING: You gave it up, right?
SEINFELD: I DID.
KING: They didn't cancel you - you canceled them?
SEINFELD: ...You're not AWARE of this?
KING: No, I'm asking if...
SEINFELD: YOU think...I got CANCELED?
KING: (laughing) Have I hurt you...?
SEINFELD: Are you under the impression that I got CANCELED? KING: (audible laughter from the crew off camera) Have I hurt you, Jerry?
SEINFELD: I thought that was pretty well documented. This is a...
Is this still CNN?
KING: Listen, don't most shows go down a LITTLE?
SEINFELD: Most PEOPLE do also.
KING: You were...
SEINFELD: LARRY! I went off the air, I was the number one show in television, LARRY! (Looking at people off camera as King breaks up trying to get out of this)
SEINFELD: ...Larry, Do you KNOW who I AM?
KING: A Jewish guy, Brooklyn.
SEINFELD: Yes.
KING: Well, OK.
SEINFELD: Seventy five million viewers, Larry!
KING: OK.
SEINFELD: ...the LAST episode.
KING: BOY! you...
SEINFELD: Was I CANNED?
KING: Don't take it so bad.
SEINFELD: Well...there's a big difference between being canceled and being number one, Larry!
KING: OK...I'm sorry.
KING: We'll be right back.
SEINFELD: ...JEEZ!

Yeah: "Do you know who I AM??"

A ka-LASSIK!

GROUCHO & THE SCUMBITCH FLEMING

ADAM-TROY:

I can only applaud, and commend a-hundred-times-over, your views on the tormented, painful, tears-evoking final days of the great Groucho. It was common knowledge, here in usually cynical "Hollywood," from the moment Erin Fleming attached herself leechlike to Groucho, that she was an amoral, self-serving, user ... that Groucho was already semi in an invalid condition ... and that her pose as "care-giver" cum "girl-friend" was bogus, and that the great man had no idea what was going on most of the time. His last years were lived in a mist.

I was teaching writing at The American Film Institute--this was many years ago--and attending evening film screenings there at the Doheny Mansion (the original venue of the AFI) with my classes. One night, it was a Marx Bros. classic. (Can't remember which, now 30+ years later.) The night I met Groucho.

He, in caravanserie of paladins, was shuffled in, held upright between two guys, the burden and the entourage harried step-by-step by Erin Fleming, dolled to the teeth as if this were an important event, an Oscar evening or somesuch--when, in fact, it was a less than insignificant gathering--and he looked like a man who had just been liberated by GI troops from Dachau. He was an empty husk being chivvied by a horrible termagant.

We spoke, that evening, for a mere moment; yet sufficient for me ever after to brag that I had "met Groucho," when...in truth...Groucho had already left the building when I exchanged pleasantries with the shadow remaining. Yet in those few moments, I came to despise that vile excuse for a woman with all the soul I possess.

Your comment that she died ignominiously pleasures me more than I can say, Adam. There are those for whom the noblest, most iconic moment of their lives...is the leaving of it.

It is at times such as this that I regret not being a believer in the Hereafter, nor even the Hereunder. It would be condign to know Erin Fleming is burning eternally for her sins against one of the truly grand and great happiness-makers of the 20th Century.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

I thank you, Keith Cramer, for the information, but there is just no thrill in it if there is not the possibility that the woman will take my house and half my retirement pension, too.

I can't wait to hear Harlan's "idea"...

Ron D. Moore put a link on his web blog to a strike support site called pencils2mediamoguls.com. They say, "We’re asking people to use our site to buy pencils to send to the six media moguls who run the six corporate conglomerates." I just mention it because it put me in mind of the stories I've read and heard over the years of Harlan mailing various things to various people...for various reasons. Gophers, bricks, etc.

J

Cancun and Playa Del Carmen, Mexico:
My single male friends (you know who you are). I urge you to trip south of the border at your earliest opportunity. If you’re in Playa Del Carmen, check out a club called Marlin’s, where I spent some of my evening last night. A lot of cab drivers also recommend Chilli Willi’s.

I was hereunto unaware that prostitution was legal in Mexico. The Mexicans have conveniently and brilliantly packaged it with their strip clubs, so you can actually select your woman and not have any untoward surprises later. For example, if you see a cute, petite, 90lb. chica taking it all off on stage, you can request to party with her after her routine, and be confident you’re not getting a girl with scars and sores and globs of hidden fat. Like the description of the gentlemen’s clubs in Kersh’s book “Night and the City,” in these clubs you buy a girl watered down drinks (15 pesos apiece) as she sits with you at your table. You can also buy a private lap dance, and you are not only allowed to touch them, you are encouraged to. I had to turn down requests for negotiating sex, but I’m assured by other people it rolls the same way, and is equally inexpensive. The dollar is weak the world over, but it is still turgid and strong here in Mexico, and the beautiful women in these clubs are more than willing to earn it.

Now, my buddy and I ONLY enjoyed the pleasures of watching beautiful women removing all their clothes and parading around on a stage in front of us…and buying them drinks at our table, and having them pay attention to us: that is all. I am not married, but I am also not a single man, and I don’t fuck around. I do draw the line somewhere.

But to all my single male friends, I implore you: If you haven’t been laid in a while, come on down here and have your pipes blown legally, and clear your head, and perhaps realize that sex is not the only reason to be with a woman. Sometimes we (and I speak from experience) confuse sex with love, and will fall for any woman who will sleep with us. A trip here will joyfully disabuse the single man of that romantic illusion, and give him some newfound confidence . Either that, or he will fall madly and hopelessly in love with an unattainable woman. Either way, a fun trip for the body and the emotions.

Thank you for your attention. Now pray continue the movie and multiple-posting-per-day chat fest previously in full boil. I’m going now to reflect on the 10 or 20 rosebuds I saw last night... Buenos Noches.

-Keith

Harlan, pals till the end, unless you slap me till my cheeks turn beet red. Then, I may just merely like you, like a senior likes green jello.

It's nice to have a pal.

------

Conan O'brian is going to pay his staff out of his pocket, because General Electric wants to punish the writers on strike, by firing 35 people on Conan's staff. I do fear that it could gain sympathy by the general public, but hoping all will be resolved soon.

-----

Here's hoping the guy who strapped the bomb on in New Hampshire was an Ann Coulter fan.

I thought it was funny when Miller asked Norm MacDonald if he'd ever heard of Harlan Ellison. Norm's response was "Oh yeah! 'A Boy And His Dog'! Whoo hoo!" I don't doubt Norm was flicking a lighter at the time.

Dennis Miller's telling of the movie theater incident (as told in "The 3 Most Important Things in Life" in _Stalking the Nightmare_ was accurate.

But oh, that poem about Norm MacDonald's dog. On and on and on........

What's a hyphen between friends?
That should be Adam-Troy Castro, NOT Adam Troy-Castro. Sorry!

Anyway, read the book!

Joyless
Adam Troy-Castro: Someone (can't remember who) who worked on JOYS said that if you thought Groucho looked bad ON camera, you should have seen the outtakes. Absolutely tragic.

Didn't know Erin Fleming had died. Read RAISED EYEBROWS: MY LIFE IN GROUCHO'S HOUSE by Steve Stolair for an account of just how far gone she really was.

Laser Eye Surgery and You
Harlan, you may recall that a couple of years ago you called my lovely spouse, Debbie, at our home to assure her that laser eye surgery was a cinch. She has had holes in her retina since she was a child, and her entire (mumble mumble) years of life have been spent worrying about going blind no matter how many times the doctors assure her that what she has is common and treatable if anything begins to detach.

She had a panic a couple of years ago and your call relaxed her a tad, but since that panic ended up not resulting in surgery, the issue stayed dormant.

Until yesterday. She went into her opthamologist's office to check out why she was seeing sporadic dots, and ended up walking into the waiting room (where I was reading Ian McEwan's ATONEMENT, trying to get it done before the movie opens next week)to let me know that she was having laser surgery. Now. He's setting up as we speak.

Well, as you advised when you called, it was easy peasy. I watched as he tapped a few green laser shots into her eye and all was done. She's been a wreck all her life, and now she can't wait to go back for more (ok, that's stretching it).

Ta.

-TODD

Harlan & Dennis Miller Show

This morning on the Dennis Miller radio show while talking to Norm Macdonald, Miller relates a funny story about Harlan in a movie theater and Macdonald says he heard Harlan was fruitier than Carmen Miranda's hat. Anyway you can hear it replayed on 910KNEW.COM (San Francisco) between 11:30 AM and 12:00 PM Pacific Time.

Joys
I'll admit it in advance. This is one of today's entries in my own blog. But I like it, so I'll pass it along.

Excerpt begins.

I had an unwanted mental flashback, just the other day, of this one:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0164066/

JOYS. A Bob Hope TV special, with all that implies, it cast Hope and several dozen other comedians as guests of a mysterious house party that has become prey to a serial killer knocking off comedians. You were supposed to think of it as a JAWS parody, and its tone-deaf nature can best be measured by the shock-realization that the title was their idea of a pun. JAWS =/= JOYS. Oh, I get it. That's, um, hilarious.

A sheer glance at the guest list would lead you to expect more, but the truth (admitted at the time) is that the thing was written on the fly, with the story being made up as they went along and the various actors cut into the proceedings as they dropped into the studio (leading to, as I noted at the time, the phenomenon of the busy Pat Buttram appearing as one of the last few survivors, just in time to cry out "No!" and vanish, when he has never been seen before up until that point.) Wayne
Newton has a totally gratuitous and jarring musical number.

In case you're wondering, the killer is finally unmasked as Johnny Carson, who gloats that now he can host his show every night. Like that was a goal he really wanted.

None of this is even remotely funny, with all the yok lines forced in the manner of all Bob Hope TV shows (he was much funnier in his early movies with Crosby).

But the thing that truly horrified me at the time, and which if I got a chance to see this again would probably be even worse than I remember, was the final appearance of Groucho Marx, palpably old and depressed and not wanting to be there.

It was worse than you could possibly imagine. The story keeps cutting to him, in the same chair where you last saw him, immobile, muttering one line or another that had been written for him, ALL of them having to do with being old and impotent and senile and expecting imminent death. There is no indication
that he understands anything he's been told to say. The show provides the diminutive Billy Barty, in full Groucho Marx makeup, running around him shouting gags with the energy the real thing cannot provide, and allows the real Julius the opportunity to ask, sadly, "Am I having fun yet?"

I was sixteen years old and had not yet discovered the Marx Brothers. I'd heard of them, but had not been exposed to their genius, only to Groucho's amusing but somewhat less-impressive turns on YOU BET YOUR LIFE, which was being played on late-night syndication. So Groucho was not an icon to me. But I knew this was wrong. You could not have eyes and fail to realize that this was wrong. The camera captures...a dying, soul-sick old man, who can be prodded to speak a few scripted words but has no capacity to turn them into comedic music.

Many years later I found out that Groucho, whose health had gone way downhill in the last six years or so, after a lifetime of vigor, was being "cared for" by a wannabe actress, Erin Fleming, who would not permit him to stay at home in his dotage and kept pushing him into further public appearances, well past
the point where an actual Groucho performance was possible, in the hopes that she would be discovered and given roles herself. She did this for AT LEAST the last four years of his life. (He was still compos mentos as late as 1974, but not the man he'd been.)

Erin Fleming's fingerprints are all over this JOYS appearance, as they were on an aborted WELCOME BACK KOTTER cameo that never came off because Groucho was barely coherent.

(Mark Evanier, who was there, has the story:

http://www.povonline.com/cols/COL239.htm

It’s a truly harrowing account, worth reading. It takes place only a few short months after Groucho's final screen appearance in JOYS. Groucho himself had less than a year to live when it occurred.)

The courts later stripped Erin Fleming of the fortune Groucho left her in his will, and she died young under degraded circumstances. I don't remember what those circumstances were, though I seem to remember suicide. Certainly, there was no happy ending to her story either, not that she particularly deserved one.

In any event, she no doubt pushed him into JOYS. We can blame her for making him do it. But what about the other comedians there? Hope? Don Rickles? The others? What the hell were they thinking? Did any of them think they were being kind, in overlooking the condition of this one-time great? Or did any of them look at the wreckage of a genius and think, "I want to still be performing when I'm like THAT?"

Umm...

I ain't naked. Make that Steve Bar'B'er...

On Endings...
A few years ago I loaned a book I'd enjoyed to a friend. Not gonna tell you which one (it wasn't one of Harlan's, or Adam-Troy's or anyone else who comes around here). The book was a bestseller and chances are the majority of this crowd would recognize the title, even if you haven't read it.

But the ending of this particular book was, for me, a terrificly well-thought-out and executed one, done in such a way as to put an enticing and thoughtful exclamation point to the entire story. (The author had slightly telescoped his intent to tell an "it was all a dream" sort of tale, but the way he actually concluded things was brilliantly different.)

So I loaned it to my friend, who is herself an avid reader. She returned it a week or so later, but for some reason was a bit less enthusiastic about the thing than I'd been. I pressed her, since I don't consider myself to be THAT bad at judging whether a piece is a good or bad one, and she told me the ending had disappointed her. Wow, I thought, maybe I really am bad at this sort of thing.

Then it hit me. "You didn't read the last chapter, did you?"

She blushed. "Well, no. After **(*character's problem got fixed*)**, I just put it down."

(Sorry, but since we can't use brackets here on the Pav, I had to improvise the middle part of that sentence without giving anything away.)

"A-ha!" I snarled, "Here, go back and finish it." (Okay, so you all can now readily see why I'm a photographer and not a writer. Get over it.)

She did, and came back very abashed and admitted the ending was, indeed, a very clever one.

Now. At any time I could have told her what happened. That "it was all a dream" (but not really, hee hee). And that the main character survives some very challenging circumstances. I could have dropped hints. I could even have said, after her first go 'round, that X's fate in the last chapter was brilliant, which, of course, would have completely destroyed her own moment of revellation.

So, yeah. What Harlan originally wrote, and what Alan reinforced. Before you go spoiling any endings, make sure EVERYONE is in agreement for you to continue. It's just courtesy.
___________________________________________

(The above rant was written in a coffee shop near the 405 freeway during "rush" hour. I was three miles down the freeway, twenty minutes after leaving the house. Rain. REAL rain. Glorious rain. In Southern California. We need it, and we'll need a lot more of it. But boy it really fucks up the commute after ten months of oil on the roadway.)

More About Welles
Another book that seeks to set the record straight re Welles' career--and refutes the Kael essay--is Clinton Heylin's fine DESPITE THE SYSTEM: ORSON WELLES VERSUS THE HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS. Check it out.

Hey, this is a kind of fun word trivia game; it claims that as you win, rice is donated through the United Nations to stop world hunger.

http://www.freerice.com/index.php

A quick correction
One correction: Callow's account of _kane_ has come under question by Jonathan Rosenbaum, in his notes to the book _This Is Orson Welles_.

Mark Palko, do some research
Kael's book and essay are _notorious_ as works of shoddy journalism. She ignored accouns that contradicted her desire to disparage Welles, and relied on accounts of people with serious grudges against Welles, to work up a sensational case against the man. You should read one of the better biographies of Welles, such as Frank Brady's or Simon Callow's, or seek out Peter Bogdanovich's refutation of Kael's claims.

This isn't a matter of 'auteurists' supporting Welles and ignoring Mankiewicz. And it's not a matter of "defending the writer," as Welles was an excellent writer in his own right. It's a matter of a great artist and writer being maligned by a know-nothing critic looking to make a rep for herself.

ALAN,

Uhm - so is it okay for us to talk about movies AT ALL, anywhere in life, or...what?

I Robot
I have read it, although it's been a while (and some moron ripped the last color plate out of the used copy I bought).

I've never seen the Alex Proyas/Will Smith rendition and am bound and determined to avoid it entirely. Proyas is a talented director and may well have done a fine job on it, but much like Irvin Kershner back in the day I'd only be interested in a film made from HE's script.

This time it really won't happen again
less than 24

Kane Credits
By most accounts, Herman J. Mankiewicz wrote the script and Welles helped edit it (then helped himself to the credit), thus making the one Oscar he got the one he didn't deserve.

This is powerfully laid out in Kael's great essay "Raising Kane," possibly the best piece of American film criticism and certainly the best defense of the role of the screenwriter. Auteurists (sp?) despise Kael for this one, but that's only one of the reasons to read this. If you have any interest in Kane, Welles, Mankiewicz, Hearst, or American movies you really need to check this out.


(yes, it's been less then 24. I apologize -- won't happen again)

Kane Omission

At this time of writers struggling for proper recognition and remuneration, I must re-post to mention that the Citizen Kane screenplay was written by Welles and Herman J. Mankiewicz.

They won an Oscar for it.

Most everyone who reads this board probably already knows that. But... just in case...

MM

Kane

Alan: Sorry that what made me smile did not make you smile.

But never mind that crap: go rent, buy or borrow Citizen Kane. It's one of those movies that everyone talks about that actually deserves to be talked about. Great acting, writing, and gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous Gregg Toland cinematography.

And whatever you know about the MacGuffin will have very little bearing on your enjoyment of the movie. I'd say more about why, but I think that'd just add to your annoyance.

But I will say this: watch the movie and then go read or re-read Harlan's screenplay for I Robot (VASTLY superior to the Will Smith flick that actually got made). There's whole layers of goodness that resonate with the Welles film.

MM

ANOTHER REMAKE..UGH!
I guess it's true...there is no original thought left in Hollywood (amongst the powers-to-be at least). Smith and company were not satisfied enough to rip you off Harlan by making an I ROBOT movie, that had very little to do with Isaac's
original story. But! They had to tackle Charlton Heston's remake
of the movie with the same name that starred Vincent Price. Oh hell! Maybe they ripped off both of them! Anyways...I beginning to believe that in order to give writer's a chance at the Golden Apple of seeing their work on film...it will have to take a writer to become the head of one of the studios to do it.
...and like the seers of old say..."That'll be the day!"

Harlan says:
"I'm over my snit about movie spoilers."
=====
Well, I'm not over it (the situation, not your comments; I agreed with your comments). I was in a snit before you posted.

We're all adults here who supposedly know better than to spread spoilers all over the page the same week a movie comes out.

And even saying something about a movie like, "Oh, it's really good. I think you'll love the irony..." STOP! You just changed my potential viewpoint toward the movie and have tainted my belief in the goodness of humanity.

"The ending was really..." STOP! Now I know to go through the entire movie looking for something that will be revealed at the ending to be unexpected. Not only have you tainted my beliefs, I now hate you for at least a week.

But the thing that really chapped my lips is the attempts at levity or deflection that followed, as if saying, "Oh, the teacher caught us. Let's tell everyone the teacher let a fart." Damn, how juvenile. And I know juvenile.

I have never seen Citizen Kane. (I use this example because Mr. Mayhew mentioned it, but not because he told a key point.) I already knew the key point from decades ago. The point is---not everybody has seen a famous movie. There may be younger people who have never even heard of it. If you mention the movie and the spoiler in the same paragraph, how is the younger person ever supposed to fully experience the movie the way it should be?

Yes, I'm in a mood. I wasn't earlier today. Don't know what has changed in a mere 6 hours.

I hope everybody is having a good week. I am. Really.

Have it your way... somewhere else
On the subject of labor, I came across the following on Prof. Thoma's excellent Economist's View. Read the whole thing if you're not worried about your blood pressure.




Penny Foolish, by Eric Schlosser, Commentary, NY Times: The migrant farm workers who harvest tomatoes in South Florida have one of the nation’s most backbreaking jobs. For 10 to 12 hours a day, they pick tomatoes by hand, earning a piece-rate of about 45 cents for every 32-pound bucket. During a typical day each migrant picks, carries and unloads two tons of tomatoes. For their efforts, this holiday season many of them are about to get a 40 percent pay cut.

Florida’s tomato growers have long faced pressure to reduce operating costs; one way to do that is to keep migrant wages as low as possible. ...

In 2005, Florida tomato pickers gained their first significant pay raise since the late 1970s when Taco Bell ended a consumer boycott by agreeing to pay an extra penny per pound for its tomatoes, with the extra cent going directly to the farm workers. Last April, McDonald’s agreed to a similar arrangement... But Burger King ... has adamantly refused to pay the extra penny — and its refusal has encouraged tomato growers to cancel the deals already struck with Taco Bell and McDonald’s.

CHEER UP !!!

1) I'm over my snit about movie spoilers. Let us keep this "unfortunate experience" in mind for the future.

2) Do not fret even a moment over the semi-useless LA Times poking fun at the WGA strike. Look who owns the Times. That newspaper has NEVER been a friend of labor.

3) I have this mmmmmmm I suppose it's an idea, of no great significance, but I'll come back later and throw it upon you. You'll respond to it as you will. And that's just fine by me.

Yr. pal (redux), Harlan

Who knew?
Lamont! Buddy! Long time no... uh...

Yeah, some folks shoulda seen this coming. Dicky-boy got his chance to prove he was (extremely) right all along about Vietnam, and guess what? That other George had it nailed when he said whatever it was about remembering. I forget, but you know what I mean.

As for me... I was among the half-million or so extra votes for the other guy that somehow didn't count. Go figure.

I tell people I hate being right, but they don't believe me. Gloom, despair and agony on me...

WGA strike humor in LA Times
In the LA Times today, I read the Non Sequitur cartoon, and did find it slightly funny, then read the La Cucaracha cartoon, found it less funny...and then read the Editorial "We are all writers now" by Jeffrey Korchek which I did not find even a little bit funny. It seems that today was the LA Times day to ridicule the writer's strike, especially those who support it who are not WGA members or professional writers.

Ezra's post is funnier if you don't read his link.

OK Folks time for a Rant
No, not about THAT, our genial host can have his crabapples and welcome to'em.

No this concerns the basic fabric of our society, the fundamental nature of who we are.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21979670/

Sure, 9/11 discombobulated everybody. We wouldn't be godafearin' Americans if our giblet didn't get jerked at the thought of terrorism in the skies.

But maple syrup folks! Maple syrup!

And to deprive the chilldren of America of granny's cranberry sauce just because the old lady lives two or three hundred miles away?

This offense must not stand! Peanut Butter, the weapon of choice of JIHAD!

Seriously folks, are Americans stupid or what?

Home of the Brave, my ass.

No salad dressing on this plane, dang I'm safe!

Tad Dunten's post
Tad: Welcome to the future. (Since we're living in it, I guess that might make it the present). I was bitchin' about King George (or at least the man who, at the time, wanted to be King) during the run up to the 2000 election. So the rest of you folks shouldn't be surprised that he's done what his Icon (hell, probably his ancestor) did. It's a bitch being prescient. No one appreciates it when you tell them they're wrong or short-sighted; and you never get warm waffles for breakfast.

Just ask Cassandra. Or me.
Cheers,
L. Cranston

It is mostly shocking to read the ideas of the founding fathers and realize that almost all of the ideas they talked about are completely ignored by todays masters.

We take it for granted that the nation is vastly corrupt.

Opting out is never the answer. Better to keep fighting the bastards. Really, struggle can be loads of fun.

And what impact has the Writer's Strike had on today's youth? Well, at least the cartoon youth...

http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/

Various
First, Ed Naha on the Writer's Strike. Not news to anybody here, but well-explained, and brutal about the profession's difficulties.

http://smirkingchimp.com/thread/11268

Second, from the book THE PORTABLE OBITUARY, a little reminder that the "Information deserves to be free!" folks were with us long before the internet.

Stephen Foster, who wrote "Oh Susanna," the song often known as "Swanee River," "Jeanie with the Light Brown Hair," and "Beautiful Dreamer," all songs that are still played and enjoyed more than a hundred and fifty years later, struggled to retain the rights to his work, but pirate outfits printed his sheet music in unauthorized editions that undercut his own and never paid him a dime. Though his music was popular in his lifetime, he had thirty-eight cents when he died.

Oh, those wascally founding fathers!
I'm offering up another exercise, which I lazily stumbled across myself sometime last year:

1: Look up the entire text of the Declaration of Independence.

2: Pay especially close attention to the grievances the authors had against the King.

3: Tally how many of those seem to be relevant in a much-more-recent context.

Fun for the whole family!

Building on Frank's founding fathers theme, here's one linked to the torture thread:

"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom.
As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters."

Benjamin Franklin, letter to wife Deborah Franklin April 17, 1789.

Dennis Thompson

I think, at least with this group, the question of whether or not torture "works" (as a tool for gaining information) bears chiefly on how one frames the arguments against torture.

Everyone here agrees that it is immoral to torture. But some (sad to say, many) other folks feel that the moral issue is trumped by the need to protect our own people, whatever the means.

So those of us who feel that torture is a really bad idea like to have other arguments available to us: torture diminishes us as a nation and a people, it sets back the cause of civilization, it puts our own troops in greater jeopardy when we ignore international norms for the treatment of prisoners.

One of those arguments is "...and besides, torture doesn't work anyway. A person in agony will say any damned thing they think they're supposed to say, so you get bad intel."

KOS says that argument is crap, and using it actually weakens the case against torture, because if the other guy has his facts lined up, he'll make you (and your whole point of view) seem naive.

Mark and Frank feel that it's a pretty good argument, and strengthens the case, because if torture doesn't work, then there really is absolutely no excuse to do it.

I am emotionally drawn to having that argument in my back pocket, but sure would like to have some hard facts to back it up.

I think that's what everybody is wrasslin' with here.

MM

Torture
I don't understand the debate on whether torture works or not.
Is that what we stand for? Is that what we kicked king George to the curb for?
If we ignore right and wrong whenever it's convenient, we are terrorists.

Actually, torture does not work, never has; even John McCain is sane enough to know that.

Josh Grobin, on the other hand, we pay for him to torture us.

-----------

"During almost fifteen centuries has the legal establishment of Christianity been on trial. What have been its fruits? More or less in all places, pride and indolence in the Clergy, ignorance and servility in the laity, in both, superstition, bigotry and persecution."

James Madison.

Colleen and Harlan : Mahalo! Not knowing a word is a bit like having an itch I can't scratch. I feel much better now.

Torture and a new word

This is why I love the Pav. You learn new things every day -- and some of them are actually useful. Such as, my newfound pet nickname for President George "HYLDEN" Bush.

It's perfectly apt, and yet has the pleasant aspect of completely perplexing exactly those people who would most take offense. Double duty, as it were.

"Hylden" "Aich-why-ell-dee-ee-en" "Hylden"

"America is defined by the people of this nation, not by the *Hyldens* holding political office."
______________________________________

If I may offer, going back over the last few days of posts, does anyone else get the irony of a long, detailed, passionate argument regarding torture???

(I'm kidding Kim, Mark -- Mark, put down those bamboo slivers...!)

Torture response and then let's drop this
KOS,

I made it clear in my opening paragraph that I took issue with your statement that torture, as an interrogation tool, works. Not with anything else. Your long, drawn out missive has done nothing to change that perspective.

First, on your comments regarding the Warrant Officer. I spoke with 3 former military personnel with whom I am acquainted, an Army Infantryman, an Army ranger and an ex Air Force guy. All of them stated that prior to this administration, the use of torture was an offense that got you court martialed. In your own statement, you said that the Officer made it clear it was not policy and he would deny it if ever quoted. If torture is so effective, then why the cloak of secrecy?

I have no argument with the assertion that torture is an effective use of societal control. Clearly, human history has shown that it is an extremely effective way to control a population. And here I thought we were talking about its use as an interrogation tool. Way to muddy the waters while discussing an issue, Kim, as I never disputed its efficacy as a means of control.

This is why torture is a slippery slope: a terrorist subject is brought in who may have knowledge of an upcoming terrorist attack. He is tortured and reveals the information, thwarting the plot, and so it goes.... Emboldened by this success, the police bring in a murder suspect, torture him, and get him to confess to a crime, and so it goes....The police then bring in someone who looks kinda like a suspect who committed a series of violent crimes in the area. The interrogating officer has dinner plans and wants to get out of the office so he tortures the suspect and gets him to confess, and so it goes.....

Torture is not the bottom of the slope, nor is it the apex. It is the grease that allows us to slide further into depravity and should be avoided at all cost. On that, I know we are in total agreement.

I get that you are opposed to torture, Kim, I truly do. However, I still have not seen one shred of evidence presented by you, or through history that torture works as an interrogation tool. During WWII and the Cold War, we judiciously avoided the use of torture. Why? One reason was certainly because of the public backlash against torture but do really think there would have been much of an outcry during the 1950s if it was revealed that we tortured Russian spies? Hell no. The reason we did it is because it does not work.

One last item, I take offense to being called "a knave". I don't know you and you don't know me, we are having a discussion on a particular subject and I do not care for personal insults at all.

Mark

TERRY AND THE PIRATES
At a convention a while back, Robert Culp mentioned he was working on putting together a TERRY AND THE PIRATES feature film. Anyone know the status of this project??

Nuanda/Mark,

My apologies for having taken so long to respond. I have these two parasites who insist on making demands on my time, affection, and sanity. The doctor tells me the cure will take time and I should have them completely out of my system by the time I die unless I'm overtaken with a sudden burst of JMS (Jewish Mom Syndrome).

There certainly was no offense taken to any comments about Bremerton. I've lived here 21+ years after a Navy brat's life. I am now actually living on the outskirts of Bremerton proper (still on life support, but the doctors don't expect it to last without an infusion of money and common sense) having recently moved from the wilderness environs of Wildcat Lake/Green Mountain where bears like to visit and we counted the yearlings and fawns as part of the family.

Don't hate your wife because she's a Weberland regular, love her all the more because she is intelligent, well spoken, and has excellent taste. Welcome aboard, sir!


shagin

Since it's the 28th already...
I should mention in response to Cole's post that having looked over the proposed synopsis for the upcoming Trek movie, I'm uncertain which it's likely to do more: exploit HE's characters and concepts from "City", or simply rip off the plot of Terminator and thus indirectly attempt pilfering from HE that way.

HE is of course unable to comment directly on the matter, but I've always felt The Terminator owed an awful lot not only to his Outer Limits episodes but also Anthony Lawrence's "The Man Who Was Never Born", along with a 1966 flick called "Cyborg 2087".

I've never actually seen that last one, but I do recall reading an old TV Guide synopsis of it as a kid and the premise seemed awfully familiar when Terminator came out some years later. Read the IMDB listing for it and decide for yourself:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060272/

NotUnintentionallyWrong-Re: Film.Com and Cole Drumb get it wrong
RE: Shane Shellenbarger SharpTeethShane@gmail.com

Film.Com and Cole Drumb get it wrong
In his essay, "The Forced March of a Terminator," Cole Drumb states that ". . .So this announcement, a new Terminator movie, is good news for one person other than the production company and that is Harlan Ellis (his spelling). . . ."

http://www.film.com/movies/story/theforcedmarchofaterminator/11597472/17398352http://www.film.com/movies/story/theforcedmarchofaterminator/11597472/17398352

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you, Shane, for noting this error - I thought if anyone would respond it would be a fervent Ellis'on' fan, and yes, I am aware.

More of an intentional "Repudiation Easter Egg", I thought I could get a few Ellison fan posts on film.com. That I received a total of three, I have to admit I was slightly disappointed.

Next time I write about Harlan, I promise it will be more than enough to take with you to the throne.

~Ellison, a brilliant man in need of a stiff drink~

Cole.

Spoiler alert
Kirk saves Edith Keeler from the truck, restoring the future to its proper place.

Oh wait, maybe it was Spock who had to do that for him. (Either way, no Edith doing the goose step for Adolf...but anyone who's not a complete moron could've figured *that out.)

The last thing Harlan needs on his website is a link to something, so I'll just say this:

Seth McFarlane of Family Guy fame gave an amazing speech on why the strike is so important. Not only was it informative to a layman like myself, but it was damn entertaining as well. Some of you may actually know about it. Like I said, no links, but I'm sure "you" can find it by searching under Seth's name.

And as for that site I just tried not to mention: there is a very telling article out there in newsland which states (again, no links today; the mood doesn't justify it), that said site now gets more internet traffic today than was present on the entire internet just five years ago.

A sign of times that have already arrived.

HYLDEN ------ ETYMOLOGY

HYLDEN: a term of contempt; a great, foul, hulky, filthy creature such as a butcher or hangman. Gloucestershire. (J. Wright, 1515 ; Kacirk, 2000)

H. Ellison9

No Spoiler Warning. Nope. Nuh-Uh.
My apologies for bringing up a disagreeable subject in Harlan's place. I'll try to make my response cogent and reasonable. And leave it at this:

The Warrant Officer I told of made his comments before the students and instructors at an Army Intelligence School. No one was present who did not have a clearance and a reason to be there. No parents, no wives, no kiddies, no reporters. It was in the 70s, so he didn't have to worry about some pocket digital recorder. If anyone had been stupid enough to try to record it on some sort of tape recorder of the time, that person would have been in the stockade on charges that same day. Such devices were not allowed in restricted areas.

That man was the senior soldier present. I called it a "graduation ceremony", as we received our "tickets" as 96C20 IPW specialists, but there was no one there that was not a student or instructor. He prefaced his remarks by clearly stating it was not official policy to torture, and that he would deny what he was about to say if anyone ever quoted him. Believe what you want, I was there, where were you?

I made it clear that I believe, based on the historical record and my experience, that while torture "works" it is also immoral and to be avoided AT ANY COST. Yes, even in those stupid "ticking timebomb" scenarios.

Your presentation of my position as somehow advocating/being tantamount to advocating torture is either disingenuous or the result of a misreading of my words. While I have found you an argument, finding you an understanding is beyond my ability.

As to the historical record: what does the fact that the Nazi's were evil have to do with anything? The Nazi's were evil, and yet they certainly proved, for example, that "Blitzkrieg" worked, or that "snorkels" worked. That they were evil is irrelevant to the argument. It is, of course, highly relevant in moral terms, but as I wrote, pragmatism is a terrible guide if you want to act morally

Since the historical record on Nazi use of torture upsets you so: "The Battle of Algiers" shows that even "democratic" regimes such as the French Fourth Republic employed torture and terror as official/semi-official policy.

Torture is a method of social control for some regimes. By sheer terror they bring forth informers. Often a mere knock on the door at 2 AM will result in a flood of information. Culling through that information for lies and half-truths is what interrogators and intelligence analysts do. Some of them do it very well. False leads themselves provide one bit of information that is invaulable - when the torturer and his interrogator partner know they ve been lied to, they can use that to ratchet up the terror in the subject's mind and raise the reliability of further inforrmation obtained from the subject. You ought to read up on how fine-tuned torture can be. For something that does not work, a remarkable amount of human ingenuity and time have been spent upon it. The same could be said, of course, for something as ridiculous as astrology. But not many governments use astrology as a tool of governance. They tend to be pragmatic and use what seems to actually produce useful results; keeping in mind that useful is NOT a moral judgement.

Nazi Germany ruled Occupied France with about 5,000 civil servants/civilian policemen (Gestapo, SD and RSHD) and about 100,000 men (about two-thirds French, the "Milice") in various types of "security police" organizations; light infantry trained to control civilians rather than fight other soldiers. All of that successfully controlled a population of some fifty million in an advanced, technological society with a long tradition of democracy and popular government. Did it so well that France provided the German army for four years with half of its' trucks, a quarter of its' small arms ammunition and a third of its' food. The Resistance was largely ineffective until 1944, and even then had little effect on the war. This was possible because the Nazi's used torture and terror, and made them work. They had worked in Germany, and the Nazi's abandoned their few qualms over its' use on fellow German's once they ruled other nations.

The last word on torture: to believe it is ineffective, one must believe that for five-thousand years governments and their enforcers have largely been fools and/or idiots who have repeatedly invested heavily in a tool of governance that did not work. You re free to believe this. I do not. If they were such fools, how did they achieve power? How did they hold on to power? You need not be a genius to do either, you can be (and too often are) a knave,but you cannot be a fool. Such men and women are deadly serious.

As for the slippery slope: No, torture is NOT the START of the "slippery slope". Torture is what lies at the BOTTOM of that slope. It begins when we first choose to make deals with the devil to buy a little security and time.

To recap: Torture is evil, pure and simple. That it works is a REASON to oppose it, not an excuse for it.

After all, chattel slavery "worked". It had been around for about five thousand years. We've largely eliminated it. Torture must die the same death. Denying that it works is not going to help eliminate it; that lie only makes the torturer's laugh and their victims suffer denial of the reality of their failure to withhold information from the torturer (ever heard John McCain talk about how his torturer's broke him? That's what happens: you break. It's not that you will say anything, but that you will do what they want you to do. You even come to identify with your tormonter in "Stockholm Syndrome" style. You WANT to HELP them stop hurting you.)

The torturer's know the truth. They must be SHAMED and STOPPED. Lying to each other, to ourselves, that "torture really doesn't work,. so if we just educate everyone, they'll realize how useless it is and torture will stop" is NOT an effective policy. Maing it unacceptable to use torure, end of discussion. No matter the cost. That is the only way.

That's about all I can say on the matter. It will have to suffice for "debate". Most people's minds are made up on such subjects, as has been ably demonstrated.

KOS

Things sometimes move pretty quickly 'round these parts, so it's possible I've missed the discussion, but I haven't read much here about the proliferation of "anonymous" emailed xenophobia-mongering propaganda that threatens to overtake our inboxes... Sure seems like the kind of thing that would raise some hackles hereabouts.

It's been so bad lately I had to get a little loud in public about it. I won't take up space reposting here, but there's a URL below if you're so inclined:

http://newtextureblog.blogspot.com/2007/11/bread-and-circuses.html

Meanwhile, I'd like to hear how you good folks are dealing with it.


Wyatt
www.NewTexture.com

on SPOILERS
Sorry for upsetting you, Harlan. I've now been properly schooled about bowel movements and rancid opinions. I promise to never post another well-marked spoiler here or elsewhere. Go see the film, Harlan. I'm sure you'll be able to resist bitching a blue streak to anyone and everyone that'll listen. You've always been so pleasantly ... taciturn. :)

macarthur awards
another year and no macarthur for Howard Waldop. does anyone know anyone who knows someone ? do we all do a richard gere at the oscars and meditate him towards one ? or like mary jane and sniffles do we close our eyes real tight and wish with all our might the magic words of poof poof piffles ? (i hope i remembered that right and am not making a bigger fool of myself than usual...)

RUINING MOVIES
I agree that movies should not be ruined for those of us who haven't seen them yet. I like to be open to the myriad wonderlands of the imagination, the infinite possibilities I may experience, walking down the darkened aisle with no preconceptions. Whenever I enter the theater, I always wonder, is this movie about a country for old men? Is there a mist in it? Perhaps a cinematic interpretation of an old English heroic epic poem of anonymous authorship? And then some spoilsport has to ruin my childlike wonder of discovery by telling me the title. Bah humbug!

SPOILERS
TITANIC---think there's a boat in it and some water don't read this if you don't want to know what happens when it hits an iceberg and sinks---oops!

THE ALAMO--think it happens in the south, think there's a mission in it, and maybe some Mexicans---oops!

THE MIST---think there's a mist in it---

I think Ellen Degeneres has a contract that stipulates she must work during a strike.

Agree about Carson Dully

Holy shit, our Harlan is playing bongos with fire tongs. I get your anger Harlan; glad I never bleat endlessly on here. No Sir, not me.

Hope you had a good holiday and will get to see the film with no more possum belches.

I will obviously wait until the film gets on cable, so I'm in the same boat.

----------------

We are NOT having an alliance with Iraq, an alliance means that both sides have equal stakes. We are the beasts in the bog, Iraq is the skinny kid that gets the soup ladle pounded into his pudgy skull.

Alliance my keister.

WGA v. Daly
What the Hell is wrong with Carson Daly and Ellen Degeneres? Ellen is taping new shows despite being a WGA meber and Carson is going to try to force writers to scab for his non-member self. IDIOTS...

Above per front page article on yahoo.com today circa 340 PM

Thank you, HE
Thank YOU, Harlan, for shutting people the hell up regarding the Mist chatter. I'm an infrequent visitor to your pavilion, but I've been trying to keep up a bit more. Seeing people gushing or not gushing over a movie is one thing, but all of this "spoiler-safe" crap pisses me off, and it's about time that someone stopped it before this site became something I just couldn't risk reading. I am constantly telling my friends to NOT TELL ME about movies that they have seen. Nothing. "Oh, I can tell you this, it doesn't really matter." No, the fact that you are telling me that it doesn't matter means that you have given away a plot point that I will know, right off, doesn't fucking matter! A no-spoiler is, indeed, a freaking spoiler, and the little I have inadvertently read about The Mist has already made me feel spoiled. We live in a culture of talkers, not thinkers. Again, Mr. Ellison, thank you for stopping the nonsense.

Torture
Sometimes it feels like we are shouting past each other on the question of whether torture "works." (it seems everyone here, including KOS, agrees that it is wrong for moral reasons).

But on the practical side, is there actually enough data to say that the Nazis "proved" that torture works? Worked every time? Worked better than the methods of WWII era American interrogators, who got loads of information from captured Nazi officers through feigned friendship?

I am not remotely an expert on this... but sometimes I wonder if anyone else is either. You rarely if ever hear numbers or hard facts in this argument. Obviously it would be massively unethical to run a control group torture study, but it seems it would at least be possible to do some sort of deep, systematic review of interrogation records from multiple agencies in multiple countries over many years. Has this been done?

That would maybe add a little clarity to the conversation, and get us past the bullcrap "ticking clock" scenarios that are so easy to imagine and so rarely ever happen.

* *

So, this "WARNING!! MOVIE TALK WITH SPOILERS!!!! zone, that's where I should post my "Rosebud: it's a sled!" revelation. There, not here... is that right? Definitely not here...

MM

Oops!
Sorry! That should be Colleen with two "l"s!

God, I'm such a hylden!

Coleen:
Would a broken down cab (what some might call a sorry hack) be a hylden?

Aloha Elijah:
"Hyldens" is an obscure form of the word "hilding". It means a sorry hack, a jade, a contemptible person, etc.
Source: Second edition of the OED, Vol. 7.
Hope this helps.

Cheers, Colleen

Clinton makes Dershowitz look like a saint
Clinton in an interview with National Public Radio:

"You picked up someone you know is the No. 2 aide to Osama bin Laden. And you know they have an operation planned for the United States or some European capital in the next three days. And you know this guy knows it. Right, that's the clearest example. And you think you can only get it out of this guy by shooting him full of some drugs or waterboarding him or otherwise working him over."

He said Congress should draw a narrow statute "which would permit the president to make a finding in a case like I just outlined, and then that finding could be submitted even if after the fact to the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court." The president would have to "take personal responsibility" for authorizing torture in such an extreme situation."
___________________________________________________________

Spoilers and such...
I have taken the liberty of creating a new thread "over yonder" in the Forums for you 'Landers who insist on writing about the ends of movies the rest of us ain't seen yet. Being a strong advocate of the First Amendment (as are Harlan and Rick), you are free to express whatever the fuck you want with no fear of recrimination for revelations made.

It's in the Popular Culture Thread, and entitled "WARNING!! MOVIE TALK WITH SPOILERS!!!! (YOU BIN WARNED)"

Knock yourselves out and have fun. I would advise the rest of us avoid that thread for fear of learning that THE MIST is cleared up by a nasty Santa Ana condition that blew down out of the mountain passes one day, revealing a seething mob of angry producers trying to snatch back WGA members without having to pay 'em. (oops! aw, fudge...)
_______________________________________

SAM WILSON: Sorry for the delay in replying, but its far more important to man on the lines for the WGA than stand in the ones for a French Dip. Next time, yes?

Benford and Fanthorpe and Harlan, oh my!
Musta been synchronicity at work; just yesterday I was remembering an "appreciation" of the works of Lionel Fanthorpe (widely acknowledged as one of the worst sci-fi authors of all time) at which Gregory Benford had to restart a sampling of overpurple prose at least three times because he kept laughing too hard to continue. Hee!

(The line in question, as I recall, was "His eyes looked like they were trying to crawl out of his head." Benford got as far as "His eyes" and lost it. Repeatedly. Most enjoyable, much more so than actually reading same.)

That put me in mind of Harlan's "tribute" to the pulps in "How's the Night Life on Cissalda?" where his main character is imprisoned in an inescapable pit and trying to remember how a story with a similar predicament was resolved. Not gonna tell you how that one went; go read it yerself. It's back in print. You got no excuse. Nyaah!

ooh ooh, new word!
hyldens.

Hyldens??

Harlan, I've exhausted every resource within reach trying to find its definition. Dictionaries (both online and off) are failing me (though as I work in a middle school we're not exactly talking complete Oxford editions). Google is clogged with references to a videogame's fictional race; clearly that game's creator was cribbing from some real source, but I can't turn it up.

Please please please, if you have the time and inclination enlighten me as to its proper meaning/historical context and how you came to know it.

Mark Goldberg's comments in reply to KOS are a leetle bit off the mark: KOS has outlined his moral objections to torture, and has already stated that he agrees with many of Goldberg's comments.

But Goldberg does hit the one point that hits the utilitarian defense of torture very hard: when we decide that it has to be done.

Creeps like Dershowitz (and the racist Michael Levin, who was notorious for advocating torture in the 1970s) love to present one of those Jack Bauer situations where the clock is ticking down and nerve gas will wipe out a stadium full of orphans and puppies. It's a situation _designed_ to validate torture, of course, so we humane people wind up admitting that,yeah, in _that_ circumstance, we'd probably allow it.

But we can apply this to any horrible policy, even on the promise that it _may_ work, or if its advocates can cover their asses with enough plausible-sounding evidence. For example, imagine this: someone argues that, in order to eliminate thousands of murders that will happen over the next few decades, we should sterilize black males who fit certain demographic profiles. It wouldn't be difficult to work up a case that would sound convincing and plausible, even to people who consider themselves liberal and not racist at all.

And as KOS and Mark seem to agree; slicing away all of the moral issues, to reach some abstracted and isolated question of whether it "works" or not, ain't kosher.

Harlan...

I listened to your humorous and loving message on my return from Mid-Ohio-Con. As always, you are too kind to your little buddy.

Much love to you and Susan.

Tony

Various
Zach:

With the exception of the Spider-Man novels, bestsellers that propped up a struggling company and that nevertheless somehow "failed to earn out" (imagine that), and my Harry Potter companion, which was only meant to occupy shelves until the book by whatsername came out, just about everything else I've done has been small press or POD. I'm not surprised that you can only find my books via internet sellers.

With luck, this changes in March.

EVERYBODY:

True, I'd rather people see NO COUNTRY, because I want more movies from the Coens.

But the one you really really oughta see? Giving it priority over THE MIST and NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN?

I'm deadly serious here.

BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU'RE DEAD.

Sidney Lumet, still making great films three years after his lifetime achievement award. This one, about the events leading to and following a heist gone spectacularly wrong -- and don't worry, if that spoils, that occurs in the first ten minutes, and has already been spoiled in the trailers -- gets more and more powerful as it makes its way toward a bravura final scene. Stars Philip Seymour Hoffman, Ethan Hawke, Marisa Tomei, and (you're gonna gasp as he takes over the movie) Albert Finney.

That's BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU'RE DEAD.

I ain't wrong on this one. BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU'RE DEAD.

Check it out.

A-TC

MASTERS OF SCIENCE FICTION
Just finished watching THE WATCHBIRD, the as-yet-unaired-in-the-US story from MoSF (I was going to use 'Who watches THE WATCHBIRD?' as my heading, but the programme beat me to it...)

I'd say it's the one I've most enjoyed so far, behind THE DISCARDED. I haven't read Robert Sheckley's original story, but the episode does feature some fine performances from James Cromwell and Sean Astin. I know that you guys will have to wait for the DVD to see it, but trust me, it's worth it.

Cheers
Rob E
(PS - hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving. And speaking of 'foreign' celebrations, we all had a great time on Guy Fawkes Night as well....)

Torture: what is it good for
KOS,

While we are on opposite sides of the political fence, I had always respected your arguments as logical but differing viewpoints of mine. In light of that, I have to ask, what the FUCK were you thinking when you said torture too often works as an interrogation tool?

Let's leave aside the fact that torture demeans us as a people, is against everything we as a nation stand for, and places our armed forces in greater jeopardy of physical harm upon capture and focus upon its efficacy as an interrogation tool.

If someone is being tortured, they will say anything to get the pain to stop. This could be pertinent information that the torturer wants but, especially if the person has no knowledge of the particular crime, may very well lead investigative forces on wild goose chases, thereby diverting critical resources.

You state that the Nazis showed that torture could work. Really, that is your case in point on the value of torture? You use the most oppressive, brutal regime of the 20th century, where people were guilty until proven innocent, to make the argument that torture works? Ummm, you might want to provide a better example 'cause that one does not pass any validity test in my book.

Also, I have real problems with a 20 or 30 year Officer saying that torture was acceptable to use "when the chips are down." First, I am not sure I believe it, as every Officer has the Geneva Conventions drilled into their head as an inviolable law (until Fredo/Alberto came along of course). Breaking those Conventions could result in someone being removed from the Service, so I highly doubt if they would admit to it so publicly.

Second, who determines "when the chips are down"? Does that mean torture is OK to use on a suspect when there is a definite threat to national security? How about when the interrogator wants to get out of the office because it is his bowling night and he does not want to be late?

When you start using torture as an interrogation tool, it becomes a slippery slope and the violation of human rights may become a primary tool used to extract information.

No, Kim, torture is never right and should never be used in interrogating a suspect for many reasons, not the least of which is that it just don't work. You want to disagree with me, then prove me wrong. There has not been one identifiable lead that has been generated during this Administration's Reign of Terror towards the suspects they have in custody.

Let me know if you want to take this over to the Forums to discuss further,

Mark

Damn damn damn this Morass.
Mr. Castro (Adam-Troy),

I can't find ANY of your books in ANY bookstores. I'm not normally one to buy things from invisible internet people, but Goddammit! I'm going to Amazon. Screw you, BooksADozen! I will not be thwarted by the public's bad taste!

Ah, the Morass
What a wonderful week. No computer in sight. Just me and my family and some fine cornbread dressing. Life is beautiful.

Saw Transformers. Meh. Saw Beowulf. Rock.

Read some P.K. Dick, N. Gaiman, I.R. MacLeod, M. Flynn, and G. Benford. T. Jefferson and M.L. King, Jr.; J. Hersey.

And now, upon my return to the digital swamp, what do I find?

Mr. Ellison, fighting the fight, raging the rage.

Life is beautiful.

~

Mr. Castro

It's clearly too late for some of you...
but I would suggest the rest of you go see the new movie version of Cormac McCarthy's NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN with another nice turn by Tommy Lee Jones and a script that is pretty faithful to the novel before spending money on an adaptation of THE MIST. I'm not down on King at all, but 10 people on the opening weekend for a Coen Brothers film doesn't get me more work by these gentlemen, but there's a new MIST-like film out there every damned week.

Anyone who wants to get in touch with me off-list to spoil the cinema ending of THE GOLDEN COMPASS, feel free. I'd like to know how GOD makes out, but not to the tune of $9.00

- Barney

Readthebook, PA.

KOS wrote: "Yes, ever since German decided to adopt that verdammte Latin grammar they've had that "verb last" sentence structure."

Before anyone gets the wrong idea, it should be mentioned that our main sentences have the verb in second place. It's relative clauses that have verbs at the end. However, we do have split verbs as in "I have been (.....)", which would translate into "Ich bin (.....) gewesen". Not something we think about, but always good training for the memory.

Anyway, you people live in a country of competing measurement units and without female forms for professions. :)

A SEVERE WARNING TO BIG MOUTH SPOILERS!!!!!!!!

By now, about a dozen of you blathering nit noddlepates have discovered that your comments re THE MIST have been deleted.

I am personally and solely responsible.

And if you don't like it, you can go pound sand.

I have not seen Stephen/Frank's new film and I WANT TO SEE IT sans your idiot film comments. That means YOU van Hise, and YOU Jim SomebodyElse, and YOU and YOU and YOU.

Keep your goddam mouths shut!

You can say whatever you want in six months when it hits DVD, but until then, do not play that SPOILER WARNING crap at this site. Or the NO SPOILER or SEMI-SPOILER or any of the other moronic shit you headed your bumpkin posts with. Shut the fuck up! Not to put too fine a point on it.

What is it with you clowns? Do you, in fact, truly feel that you must share every bowel movement or rancid opinion that cascades out of you? Cannot you just GO TO A MOVIE and shut the fuck up? You wouldn't do it coming out of the theater, because the waiting line would beat you to death in the street, which you would justly deserve. So why do you do it to me and others like me who visit here?

Why is it necessary to intrude on the expectations of any who have a sufficiency of life that it may take them a week or more to get to a film? If you feel affronted, find one of those chat niches Rick has created for just such revelatory hyldens as you, go thereto, and savage one another with impunity.

But THIS PLACE is MY place, and I goddam damn straight damn skippy find it an offense punishable by manual strangulation.

Rick took the brunt of my annoyance, so you should all hmmmmm your apologies to him...not to me. I merely want to butcher the lot of you!

Don't talk to me till I calm down. I'm mad at you.

Mr. Ellison...to YOU.

in re: M. Ellison et M. Nelson
My pennies, FWIW.

I'm a multi-generation union/Populist sorta guy. But just because we're a buncha Pinkoes don't mean we're anti-money. Therefore, heartfelt huzzahs that DWST is making a few shekels, & that the production company is so stand-up, & that HE can glom more figurines & comic books.

They all did the work, they all deserve to benefit -- that's what the WGA strike is about. The whinyass geeks &/or gargoyles should get outta the way.

Gaiman's Beowulf

I finally saw the film and was impressed by how well it really works. Gaiman is clearly riffing on the consequences of achieving power and worldly fame, and he does so without either condemning or exalting Beowulf. A man like Beowulf may choose to pursue conquest, glory and heroism, but the natural result of this pursuit is to find himself trapped in a cycle that will one day result in his battling his own ego, his many accumulated mistakes and even his own flesh and blood.

I personally loved how savvy the film was when dealing with the text. Grendel speaks in cleveryly arranged sentences made up of Anglo-Saxon words still in use ("I did nocht hearm Hrothgar")
The concept of "wergild" or "blood debt" is used properly, and Gaiman rightly captured the stigma that fell on those who dare kill their fellow kinsman.

Cleverly, the old Anglo-Saxon concept of Wyrd (Fate) is combined with modern ideas of psycho-sexual determinism, and the "curse" is never better shown than when Hrothgar's warning to Beowulf about pride is nicely tied together with Beowulf's inability to produce an heir. Gaiman even sneaks in the meaning of Beowulf's name, which derives from "Bee-wulf" the Old English word for Bear.

By the end of the film, we have a near-Shakespearean Beowulf who eventually becomes an old king, aware of his mistakes, and who is eternally bound eternally upon a "wheel of fire." It's a circle that he can only break by a tragic gesture that unites him forever with the monsters he's slain. They are he.

It was not easy to make so smart a film about a main character who is all physical force, but boy, they sure did it!

Steve Dooner

I wonder what "mom=utility" might be? Substitute "non-utility".

Mental constipation. A shock to the system inducing peristalsis.

Repeat as necessary

KOS

Dis And Dat
I think Harlan,, and others, may enjoy this (on the death of the pool hustler):

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/24/
opinion/24wertheim.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

Frank, I hold no brief for Alan Dershowitz (though, oddly enough, I do have the lost luggage, with sevral sets of briefs, of a Science Fiction fan named Dershowitz, presumably of no relation), and do not know the total of his argument, but: his point seemd to be that you cannot successfully oppose the use of torture by an argument based on its' mom=utility.

The sad fact is that Dershowitz, as quoted, has a valid point: torture done "right" can produce information that is "useful". History shows that either truthful intelligence will result that the interrogator can use to further his investigation OR it can be used to produce the story the interrogator wants to have the record show as "true" (the Stalinist method: confess to whatever crime you were accused of, and torture stopped. The Show Trial could then go on, producing the State Sanctioned Reality that the system required.


I spent three months studying interrogation. I was taught dozens of psychological tricks, ploys and subterfuges. I was drilled constantly with the mantra "torture doesn't work, torture is illegal, torture does not work".

Then came graduation ceremony: a Warrant officer with twenty, maybe thirty years experience in interrogation blew all that away. He said to forget all the psy-ops trickery when the chips were down. Instead be prepared for the ugly fact that physical torture of varous types would almost certainly be used, and that it usually worke
in
The instructors stared at the ground and shuffled their feet. The room was quiet after that.

No one argued with what he had said.

The reason to oppose torture is because it too often works. But it also destroys everyone involved, morally and/or physically.

One opposes torture because it is wrong, The pragmatism or non-pragmatism of an immoral tool is not germane to the argument over its' use. It can be pragmatic and also immoral. Yeah, I know, "duh". We seldom need educating, but often need reminding.

Pragmatism is not always the truest compass.

From your quote of him, that seems to have been Dershowitz's point.

So yes, the Nazis were masters of torture, and showed it does work. I don't quite understand your trouble with that, other than that Dershowitz is a bit of a scum bag who contaminates every position he takes and thus always good for an Ad Hominem argument? He's just the messenger.

Harlan, sixty-five thousand Simoleon's for the excerpt? Nice.

LosCon was fun. Hung out with interesting people, eavesdropped on David Gerrold and a WGA muckety muck kibitzing on the strike (it won't be settled soon, though there is talk going on) (David has a miniseries/feature film in development of "Starwolf" with himself as producer), and by the end of the third day I was getting that "the circus is striking its' tents and moving on to the next town" feeling. Julius Schwartz used a similar expression in a speech at the closing ceremonies for LACON III in 1996, and I will forever remember the moment. So many who were there have left, and yet so many are still here. Fans drive me crazy and yet, like my family whom also drive me crazy, I love them to pieces. Every socially inept blowhard monomaniacal knowitall one of the little pricks.

Verbs: Yes, ever since German decided to adopt that verdammte Latin grammar they've had that "verb last" sentence structure. Romes belated revenge upon the heirs of Herman The German. Reminds me of an apocryphal tale of the German philosopher who wrote an entire book on his favorite philosohpical problem, said book consisting of one enormous one-hundred thousand word sentence summing up fifty years of thought. The author committed suicide when the book was published with one small typographical error: the last word on the last page was missing: the verb.

KOS

Steve,

Here's an exploration of topology by tennis ball:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqDAf_lg9Xs

Death Ray
FYI: The new edition of Death Ray, featuring Jes' interview with our kind host, is out. I just bought mine in Borders. Eight full pages of Ellison goodness.

And it's a great looking mag, too! As good looking as BFI's Sight & Sound magazine. My compliments to the entire Death Ray crew!

a few months ago I posted last about a STAR TREK fan fiction contest which used elements of "The City on the Edge of Forever" and how like a big martyr I wouldn't enter he contest and win a MacBook that way.

back then think I gave the impression to some that I had anything against fan fiction and I would like to make clear it that I don't have anything against it. in fact, for a different contest, for a DOCTOR WHO short story contest. (my story didn't win though I mean I made no effort to color within the lines so I think that had something to do with it.)

getting to the original topic much of it that gets posted online gets written as a social gesture, as a way to connect. fan fic writers know that they have a ready-made feedback mechanism and readership than writers of original fiction just don't have. that bugs me, mildly. it also bugs me to have fan fiction written based on, say, the Gormenghast books by Mervyn Peake, too good, I think, to mess with. still it exists. bottom line, though, I have no problem with fan fiction.

Said and Done.....
Harlan --

As there is a strict limit on how many characters (500, including spaces!) can be posted on You Tube, I just put up the following condensed 442 character (including spaces!) version of your screed, sadly removing all of the nice (or, at least I took it that way) things you said about the film, and yours truly.

It reads thusly:

"Assure those who seem to be troubled by my appearance, that there is nothing ironic about having been paid by the Production Entity Creative Differences, to permit a clip from DREAMS WITH SHARP TEETH be used during wartime to embolden my brother&sister writers. I'd have done it for a token pittance, but Creative Differences has made so much money already, that they insisted I take the money.
I could do no less.
Yr. Pal, Harlan Ellison"

55,000 hits as of this Monday Morning, West Coast Time!!

Yr. Pal, Erik Nelson

ERIK NELSON ---- POST THIS AT APT SPOT ON U-TUBE

I insist either you, or someone else at this site, go to YouTube immediately, and in the strongest possible language assure those who seem to be troubled by my appearance there, that there isn't the smallest dollop of irony in the excerpt from your film appearing on that site. Let them know, as they seem to think their imbecile kvetching has anything to do with Reality, that there is nothing ironic about having been paid $65,000 by you, the Production Entity Creative Differences, to permit a clip from the excellent documentary DREAMS WITH SHARP TEETH be used during wartime to embolden my brother&sister writers. I'd have done it for a token pittance, but Creative Differences has made so much money already, even before formal release of the film, that they insisted I take the money. I could do no less. Mr. Nelson is that rare creature, a true friend producer. So tell'm. Just reproduce this memo. Go ahead, do it, I'm sure it will quell all snappish retorts.

Yr. Pal, Harlan Ellison

Strikes and unions
First things first...I ran across this Pete Seeger video on Youtube last night. I figured it would be relevant, given the WGA strike:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iAIM02kv0g

Yeah, I know there is already at least one video at least on youtube showing the strikers singing this song, but, hey. PETE SEEGER BABY!

And I break my usual radio silence to kick in my .02 cents on modern businesses and unions. I work at a big box store a few hours a week to get some pocket money. And while I was on break I noticed the list of company policies, including one on unions (Florida is already a right-to-work state, which doesn't make life any easier.)

Anyway, the stated policy basically says that this big box store has an "open door" policy. Any employee can express their concerns directly to the manager and "unions just interfere in this process."

They of course forget to mention that 1) the store can terminate you at any time. With no recourse. For no reason at all.

And 2) the point of being in the union is that your words have some weight behind them.

Anyway, when I asked my coworkers what they thought, they quite literally said that they supported the store on this one. "After all," one woman said, "I like that the managers will listen to me directly. And besides, who wants to go on strike, or pay union fees?"
This is in a place where three people have been fired, without any sort of recourse, over the past six months. Where is the IWW when you really need them, eh?

----------------------------------------
On a lighter note. I know there are many fans of Django Reinhardt hereabouts. So here is Stochelo Rosenberg (of the gypsy jazz band the Rosenberg Trio) playing Django's "Improvisation No. 1"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlYvbk6tLJs&feature=PlayList&p=7DA2413E258653C2&index=0

Incognito Inc
Well I got the book 14th Annual Fantasy and Horror and read Harlan's contribution...Incognito Inc and it was really, really good!

Are there any other recent short stories he has written I could look up?
Thanks in advance

MASTERS OF SCIENCE FICTION
I see Canada's SPACE channel will be showing the MoSF episodes not aired in the U.S. Walter Mosley's "Little Brother" airs on Sunday, December 2nd at 7:00 PM ET and "Watchbird" airs on Sunday, December 9th at 7pm. Harlan, "The Discarded" will be on SPACE on Sunday, December 16th at 7pm.

A news segment about the series can be viewed at:
http://www.spacecast.com/hypaspace.aspx

Jerry

DREAMS WITH SHARP TEETH
Hi, Susan! I would also be interested in DREAMS WITH SHARP TEETH if any are left.

Jerry Seward

--

By the way, Susan, do you still have any DREAMS WITH SHARP TEETH left? I definitely want one now!!

Moebius Strips and Reimannian Geometry!
If anyone wants a perfectly elegant and simple illustration of how Moebius strips and Reimann's spheres interact, I would heartily recommend the following web video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JX3VmDgiFnY

Steve Dooner

Error
If my link to the publisher website doesn't bring up both Nebula books (they have seperate publishing dates), use this
http://www.edicionesb.com/Buscador/
and put in "Nebula".

Hi Susan!

Good to "see" you! I'm always happy to create some extra work for you. :-) I looked into it some more (a lot more, actually), this is the best stuff that came up and should answer all questions and more.

Publisher info about the Nebula books:
http://www.edicionesb.com/Catalogo/Producto.aspx?id=991

Three general pages listing Harlan's literary appearances in Spanish (none of them complete, of course):

Past books and SF magazine appearances:
http://www.ciencia-ficcion.com/autores/ellisonh.htm

Past anthology appearances with scanned covers, plus seperate page for each book:
http://www.tierrasdeacero.com/beta/gen/index.php?mod=lib&sec=autva1&autaut=393

Similar, but some different titles, tables of contents provided:
http://www.leelibros.com/buscar_ficha.php?tipo=&titulo=&autor=harlan+ellison&genero=&anyo=&_vista=A

The genre magazine article I mentioned (STALKER, 2002):
http://www.ttrantor.org/VolPag.asp?volumen=STALKER16&titulo_volumen=Stalker+16

There was also a two-part article by the same writer on Harlan's fiction in GALAXIA 8 and 10 (2004):
http://www.ttrantor.org/VolPag.asp?volumen=GALAXIA08&titulo_volumen=Galaxia+8
http://www.ttrantor.org/VolPag.asp?volumen=GALAXIA10&titulo_volumen=Galaxia+10

There seems to be at least one bookstore in L.A. that definitely imports books from Spain.
Libreria Buenos Aires (3102 Wilshire Blvd, 90010, 213-739-8899, FAX 213-739-0087) - Found on list of L.A. bookstores: http://www.geocities.com/Athens/4824/na-la.htm

I might be back in Spain within a year or so and could look, if something is needed. abebooks, ebay, amazon etc.: waste of time for most of this. Spanish online sellers: 20 EUR ($30) or more for p&h for one or several books. That's why asking the import bookstore might be a viable option.

By the way, Susan, do you still have any DREAMS WITH SHARP TEETH left? I definitely want one now!! Cheers, Jan

p.s.
Harlan's computer game briefly mentioned in Arts section of EL PAÍS:
http://www.elpais.com/articulo/cultura/ventana/arte/elpepucul/20071119elpepicul_2/Tes
Harlan briefly mentioned in Gaiman blog:
http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2007/11/catching-up.html

Correction: That's William Irwin Thompson.

D. Lee: If I remember correctly, that sounds like a quote from Joseph Campbell.

Dear Jan:

Need your help with the Spanish books.

Do you have more info on the "cheap volumes" re-release of THE BEST OF THE NEBULAS.

Info like: The Publisher, date of release.

Thanks--Susan

To Shagin
Greetings shagin

I'm Mark, I'm a webderland widow as my wife Peggy has been on this board for years. She keeps saying I should join in so here it goes...

Couldn't help but notice your local. Are you actually from Bremerton or just stuck there, e.g. in the Navy?

I was stationed in Bremerton for several years, in the early 90s. What a pit (sorry) and yet I have a couple fond memories. I used to live under the bridge by the Boat Shed restaurant. Then I owned one of those depression era homes on Warren ave.

At that time the best thing about Bremerton was Silverdale, or Port Orchard, or the ferry to Seatle.

Anyway, I hope I haven't offended and look forward to commiserating if you're interested.

Cheers

Contrary Opinions

Dirk. What you say is demonstrably not true. Compare n' contrast the posted political views of KOS and Frank Church, just as a starting point.

So, other than generalized negativity about this site's breadth of views, do you have a specific opinion that you would like to share?

As it says at the top of the page: squeeze in and pipe up.

MM

The Film.com article by Cole Drumb wasn't quite long enough to be useful in the restroom.


shagin

On this day in history

Born~ Margaret Anderson, 1886
The founder of The Little Review.
For those of you as needs to, please look it up.

I thank my high school english teacher, Mr. Robert Giles, for telling us about this, ostensibly as a story about censorship and women's rights, but at 17 yrs old, I took it as an object lesson in the commerce of publishing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And, apropos of nothing, something neat-o:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/24/opinion/24wertheim.html?_r=1&th&emc=th&oref=slogin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was once in a spectral prism, but Lex Luthor broke me out.

oops


"I'm surprised and intrigued that a significant number of posts are coming from photographers, in addition to the expected writers. Woohoo!"

Over on Youtube, that is. In response to Harlan's rant.

I'm surprised and intrigued that a significant number of posts are coming from photographers, in addition to the expected writers. Woohoo!
________________________________

Contrary opinions, intelligently and respectfully offered, are always welcome here. But only a fool expects to walk into a room and received adulation and capitulation for a trollish attack -- which is, in the vast majority of cases.

"Ellison's a stoopid mean woman-hating jerk!"

"No he isn't."

"See!!!! SSSeeeeeeeee?????? I told you contrary opinions are shouted down!!! What a buncha asses, what a buncha maroons!!!"

*sigh*


- Necessarily skewed are those perceptions based solely on our own spectral prisms. -

Anyone who disagrees with Erik Nelson IS a moron.

Hey Mr. Nelson, you seem to be a smart guy...be careful you don't follow the herd around here and call anyone who disagrees with you a moron. That's what happens here all the time, which is why you never see anyone with a different opinion post here.

Greatest Hits!!!

"Pay The Writer" just crossed the frontier into SERIOUS hit-land over on You Tube!! Over 50,000 hits in two weeks!! Not since the 1918 Influenza Epidemic has anything gone this viral, this fast!!!

And though there are a few morons in the comments, the You Tubers are overwhelmingly with The Ellison Program!!

Huzzah!
Erik

Who wrote "the heretical myth that opens a doorway to the archetypal world"? I believe you quoted the author in either Watching or An Edge in My Voice, but I cannot locate it. Thank you.

Impetus for the memory: Steven James' "Story", Baker Press, 2006.

Hill, again
Faisal - that'll be the story 'Pop Art', which is the finest short story I've read in years (about a boy who is inflatable. Yes, I know how that sounds). Hugely affecting. I'd be very interested to see your friend's film of it; done right, I reckon it'd be a heartbreaker.
Best
Jes

Faisal, that's my favorite story from Joe Hill's collection. I believe it's called "Pop Art."

Joe Hill - Never read his stuff but a friend is currently editing a short film that she based on one of his short stories.

Something about some kid whose made out of air or something. Cost a fortune to build the puppet for the kid and she was well pleased with the results. Watch out for it on the festival circuit next year.

FAQ

Film.Com and Cole Drumb get it wrong
In his essay, "The Forced March of a Terminator," Cole Drumb states that ". . .So this announcement, a new Terminator movie, is good news for one person other than the production company and that is Harlan Ellis (his spelling). . . ."

http://www.film.com/movies/story/theforcedmarchofaterminator/11597472/17398352

CEP wrote:

"* Kos, native English-speakers have it easy. My native language often puts the verb at the end of the sentence, where it belongs. In my own brand of Eurosnobbery, I disdain conversations with those who cannot wait until the end of the sentence to see what the verb is. {snicker}"

"Only a German is so discourteous to his verbs." ~ Sherlock Holmes


Chuck

Harlan may have had a point about cat's after all!

I leave for a day, and my place fuckin' REEKS like a pit of seething fuckin' EVIL!!

I wonder if it has something to do with her litter box. I put it out 2 years ago. Are we supposed to change these things?

Otherwise, Thanksgiving was great.

**BTW, I stopped buying comics titles I cared about entirely back in the 90's - more because of the lousy artwork than the writing.

Just a few miscellaneous responses, after arising from the depths of turkolepsy:

* Adam, I suspect that reaction is based more on "So THAT's how he got published -- he already knew the Secret Handshake" than on anything else. The public remains convinced that the Secret Handshake is all that separates the unpublished writers from the published writers. Given the sheer proportion of dreck that DOES manage to get published, this is not entirely surprising... but the public has never seen the slush pile, either.

* Tad, everything going on now reminds me just as much of Ursula Le Guin's short story "SQ" (you can find it in THE COMPASS ROSE)... which I won't spoil for anyone, as it's so short.

* Kos, native English-speakers have it easy. My native language often puts the verb at the end of the sentence, where it belongs. In my own brand of Eurosnobbery, I disdain conversations with those who cannot wait until the end of the sentence to see what the verb is. {snicker}

JOE HILL IS STEPHEN KING's son
Hill & King were both nominated for the Stoker award for Best Long Fiction of 2005. (Hill won.) I don't believe any subterfuge alleged could remain a secret under those circumstances; people break down quickly enough without waterboarding.

KINDLE

Neil Gaiman had a Kindle as a trial model before they came out. He liked the convenience of it, comparing it to an Ipod. He still prefers to read a book when home, but the Kindle was good for trips.

http://journal.neilgaiman.com/ (post date November 20)

The Amazon KINDLE
I've been looking at this new KINDLE reader that Amazon is prompting and I have to say this certainly comes much closer to the Asimov model (his ghost owns this metaphor now) of what the ideal perfect cassette ought to be. It's a little pricey and many of the reviews point that out but that's pretty much the way of new tech. I'd toss in a link to the product, but it's on the Amazon front page so you'll find it with one click.

I must say it's pulled it's share of mean spirited negative reviews, which wouldn't be so bad except it seems the majority of the reviews slam the thing w/o ever looking at the product specs or imagining why some people (even book lovers) might want one. I sell books for my mortgage payment and I don't feel threatened in the least. It's just another tool. Not the end of a line of tools.

My only question is to wonder if Harlan has been approached with an e-book contract for the KINDLE - and if he has any new thoughts on this new publishing wrinkle now that we're perhaps ten years down the road with the e-book publishing model.

- Barney

Joe Hill and Idiocy Close to Home
Well, I haven't read all of 20th CENTURY GHOSTS yet, and though I'm enjoying it quite a bit, I have to report some recurring idiocy that it seems to have prompted.

To wit: I have on several occasions praised the book, and his novel HEART-SHAPED BOX to several folks among my family and friends, and also mentioned, just as an item of interest, not as suspicious factoid, that Hill happens to be the son of Stephen King.

This has prompted the EXACT SAME REACTION from several close friends, casual acquaintances, and immediate family members.

An offhand, knowing, utterly cynical, above-it-all, "His father probably wrote it."

Tsking at me. For not seeing the REAL truth when all the clues were in front of my eyes.

The first time I heard this I was nonplussed.

The fourth time I was irritated.

By the half-dozenth time, I was downright angry.

To the people who jumped to this conclusion in my presence, the concept that Hill, the scion of two talented writers (and brother of another, Owen), could have inherited ability akin to theirs fails beside a conspiracy theory that makes no sense and that presumes the elder King would have any reason to propagate a ridiculous deception using his own son as beard. And it's not limited to Joe, since I heard much the same thing when Tabitha produced her horror novel, SMALL WORLD.

It's also ridiculous on the very face of it. The fact is that, while I come second to nobody in my admiration for the best of the elder King's work, he happens to be a mature talent. Whatever else you say of his work now, and I say that it's often still very good, it does not have the anarchic, I-can't-believe-I'm-typing-this energy of a young man still discovering what he can do. Joe Hill's work does. I'm not saying that Joe will be in toto a better writer than Stephen, but the work he's doing now leaps off the page in a way that exceeds what Stephen is doing now. He is very much his own man, with his own obsessions. (It's not difficult to note, for instance, a certain preoccupation with rotten drunken-slob fathers, who are present in Hill's novel and in several of his short stories, tie that to the alcoholism that consumed the elder King for years, and hope for their sakes that this does not remain too divisive an issue between them, if indeed it's not just some trope Joe decided works well for him. I have no particular reason for a conclusion, one way or the other. As all writers know, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.)

The awareness that Hill is not King is an epiphany a reader can easily achieve by reading both; the folks who have parroted the ridiculous conspiracy theory at me arrived at it without reading one word of Joe (and I suspect not much of Stephen), and therefore have no data beyond the compulsion to look for a second gunman on the literary grassy knoll.

What gets me is how quickly these non-King and non-Hill readers leaped to the assumption. "Stephen King's son wrote a good book." "King probably wrote it himself." It's that fast, that knowing, that arch, that superior, that bullshit. That infuriating.

Verity Lambert
Just posted this on the forum. But wanted the good folks at the pavilion to know as well:

Gallifrey One reports today, on the 44th anniversary of the broadcast of the first ever episode of Dr. Who, that Verity Lambert, Dr. Who's first producer, has died. Not only was she a pioneer as one of a handful, not to say a very tiny minority, of British women who in the 60s took the reigns of some of the BBC's most popular programs. She pretty much lay the groundwork for Dr. Who. And a look at her TV credits is really impressive. Too bad half of her work never made it to these shores.

One laugh and one "Whatever Happened to..."
1. In a "Glass Teat" column, Mr. Ellison mentioned that Elyse Weinberg was bumped from a guest spot on the "Tonight Show" (I believe that was the show). You can read about her here:

http://www.inmusicwetrust.com/articles/46h06.html

2. Dick Wilson, "Mr. Whipple" passed away. This is, of course not the laugh, but the caption under his photo is:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071119/ap_on_en_tv/obit_mr__whipple

Brian Phillips

Joe Hill
(Morning all)
Adam Troy Castro:
I recently read 20th Century Ghosts and also love love loved it. What did you think of 'Pop Art'? Damn near broke my heart, that.
Jes

Just wanted to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving, may your day have been spent with friends or loved ones.

Still Groggy.

Chuck

JAN:

Either Susan or I will get back to you on which of these we need for the archive. Tomorrow. Thank you...as usual.

-Harlan

Mmmm....food coma....

May each and every one of us find something to be thankful for when too often we find reason to take offense at what this day represents.

Be safe, and may you sleep with a light heart tonight.


shagin
(thankful for her family, her writing, and her right to vote)

Seeing the sites
Michael Mayhew and all,
Saw your note about the Astronomy picture of the day. The homepage on my laptop is a site called refdesk:

http://www.refdesk.com/

From there you can get the astronomy pic of the day, the botany pic of the day (an African flower called Ceropegia ampliata), the NOAA image of the day (tropical storm Mitag, heading toward the Philippines), and others. As the name suggests it is a source of all kinds of information about what happened or is happening on this date, in this case the assassination of JFK and the birthday of Rodney Dangerfield. There are hundreds of links on the page, organized logically with no pollitical bias I could detect. I recommend it as a homepage or bookmark.
Hope all here enjoy the celebration of the dead bird, which of course begins the ramp up to the celebration of the dead tree. No offense to those who take either occasion seriously, I just think we have somehow ended up with strange symbols for them.

PS
Oh, and as for CIVIL WAR: it ain't over. Not even close. It was just a chapter, as current developments establish.

You may decide that this is unfair screwing with the reader, but hey. What I'm seeing shows planning aforethought.

Various
Actually, I thought that Spider-Man beatdown of the Kingpin quite satisfying; I am in fear of the conclusion of ONE MORE DAY (please, no reset), but am deeply enjoying several Marvels at present, best among them Garth Ennis's downright ultriaviolet version of THE PUNISHER, which actually succeeds in making the character work when I would have bet cash money that there was no possible way he could.

On TV: Deeply enjoying DEXTER and PUSHING DAISIES. Bookwise: loving, loving, loving Joe Hill's 20TH CENTURY GHOSTS. (And yes, I know who he is; I discovered his writing before that discovery.)

"Had they ended it with The Monster Runs, it would have been yet another Bill Bixby-Lou Ferrigno banner-on-the-run retread. And you would have been screaming, "Cop-out!" a million times louder."

Sorry to break this to ya, Alex, but I was already muttering (not screaming) "cop-out" when I read the very first issue. I mean, the Hulk couldn't exactly KILL Iron Man or Mr. Fantastic right from the get-go, now could he? So ultimately, the big green guy had to make do with yelling "PSYCHE!!" at the very last minute - which, coincidentally, Spider-Man also did to the Kingpin a little while back. Marvel has always been talented at setting up these Catch-22 scenarios.

"I can get any guy I want."

Iris Colon age 12

ON THE STRIKE: I was at Philcon this past weekend, and I got to talk to Eric Flint, writer of the fine novel 1632 (and its various follow-ups) as well as a longtime labor activist. I was very happy that I was able to--as a full-time union steward, lobbyist, et cetera--thank him for making his protagonist a labor leader. I honestly don't know if we've really ever seen that before in speculative fiction.
(We have, I know, but it escapes from memory--a Papillon of the parietal lobe.)

I did not, sadly, get his take on what he thought of the current strike--how long until the studios and networks caved, how much each side would have to concede at the table, that sort of thing.
(I'm versed in union stuff, true--but for the government; we CAN'T strike, so it's not a gambit with which I'm familiar.)

FAISAL: Israeli security in the Uzbek? No; I DON'T remember that one--what; were they protecting a diplomatic envoy or something?

PETER: I'm going to disagree that "suck" must always be considered a transitive verb--or rather, that it must always have an object, for two reasons: One is that "suck" has become, in the colloquial sense, the opposite of "blow". And as "blow" itself does not require an object, "suck similarly does not.
(If it's good enough for Shakespeare, it's good enough for me.)

The second reason is that it is my belief that, as English and its rules of usage have changed with the times, that an object can be IMPLIED rather than explicitly stated.
I consider what we would otherwise think of as sentence fragments to be perfectly correct and valid usage.

Consider the exchange: "I do a good job!" "No, you don't." Now, the "do" in the "do not" of the "don't" contraction cannot be anything but a transitive, but there is no object necessary; it's a negative attestation only. The object phrase, "a good job", is entirely IMPLIED.

Now, as to what the implied object of "You suck!" may be ...
... well, I leave that to your own filthy mind.

(... aaand I see, scrolling further, that Michael Mayhew said pretty much the same thing. I salute you, sir.)

DAVID L.: You could have REALLY messed with your wife and told her that the kid was right; that it was NOT in fact based on a book.
Though we know it at all because of its preservation in the Nowell Codex, which for all intents and purposes IS a "book", the epic poem of Beowulf (which was very likely only recopied into the Codex, along with the poem "Judith", an Augustinian piece, some translations of some religious works, and some other poems) was probably first circulated as an oral legend/history before being recorded on scrolls long since lost to posterity.

Overthink things? Moi?

EZRA: I choose instead to look at the statistics you quote on reading as hopeful rather than dreadful: FIFTY PERCENT of nine-year-olds read for fun, you say--well, that is one hell of a good thing; it is in fact a foundation we can build upon--the bedrock on which to balance the future. And on that rock we shall build our perch. Our job--in the larger sense of us as a society, and the more focused sense of us as READERS--is to KEEP those kids reading.

BEN: I'm going to have to disagree with you on the ending to WWHulk.
Really, there was no other way it COULD have ended.

There are three possible endings to this sort of tale: The Monster Wins, the Monster Runs, and The Monster Dies.

If they'd ended it with The Monster Wins, that would effectively cause the renaming of all their other titles to "Slaves of Our Gamma-Powered Overlord". Not what you would call the cornerstone of a good business plan.

Had they ended it with The Monster Runs, it would have been yet another Bill Bixby-Lou Ferrigno banner-on-the-run retread. And you would have been screaming, "Cop-out!" a million times louder.

Considering that they have a trademark to protect and a movie on the way, this is the closest they could possibly come to The Monster Dies.
... and remember, this is only the second part in Pak's "Hulk Trilogy".

Not only that, but Marvel has made it impossible for casual readers to follow any of their titles. Even to stay au courant, you have to read something like twenty titles a month.

B. Winfield

It's not even the first time this year---Civil War had no ending at all. Marvel simply couldn't finish what it started.

For the first time since 1965 or so, I am buying no Marvel comic books. Most of the major characters in Marvel are acting completely out of character merely so a writer or two can write fan fiction.

"Oooh, who would win if Hulk got mad and took on the entire world?"

HARLAN: I was browsing Spanish books online and stumbled upon some in-print anthologies you're in. That's a pleasant surprise because I didn't see any of it when I was last there. For the record, in the summer the Spanish version of Bova's BEST OF THE NEBULAS was re-released in two cheap volumes. Vol. 1 has "¡Arrepiéntete, Arlequín!, dijo el señor TicTac". Vol. 2 includes "Un muchacho y su perro" and "Jeffty tiene cinco años". (The one-volume edition appeared in 1994. Here is a review of the old book and your stories: http://www.nacho.cyberdark.net/Contenido/Narrativa/ResegnasCF/ResegnaLomejordelospremiosNebula.htm )

On top of that you are in Obras Maestras: La Mejor Ciencia Ficción del Siglo XX (Masterpieces, edited by Orscon Scott Card), as well as in Cthulhu 2000 with "Sobre la Losa".

And this is in STALKER #16 (magazine): Iván de la Torre, Harlan Ellison: "Escribir para la pantalla". Just for your information - not sure if you or I can obtain any of these at reasonable prices unless it can wait.

Likening the climax of WORLD WAR HULK to impotence

MARVEL: I'm sorry, this is the first time it's ever happened...

READERSHIP: No it isn't.

A Thing to be Thankful For

Many of you, being enjoyers of SF, may already know about this site, but if you do not, I recommend the Astronomy Picture of the Day: http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/astropix.html

Today they have an extra super gorgeous picture of Comet Holmes. Most days they have something at least very pretty, and often they have images of the ongoing exploration of Mars and Saturn that the mainstream media is too blasé to be bothered with, but which are none the less stunning.

I check most mornings, and it usually makes the day a bit nicer. The universe is a vast, complicated, astonishing thing, and it's good to see the immense diversity of the place.

* *

On the question of the grammar of "suck": isn't it possible in English to have an implied object, in the same way that you can have an implied subject?

"Sit down!" is an accepted sentence, with the implied subject of "you." Cannot "You suck!" have an implied "dog rectums" as object?

English teachers? Thoughts?

MM

Frank, nothing new with Dersh. The "liberal" attempted prior restraint on Finkelstein's last book through the governator and rallied against Norm's tenure, which was denied. So much for free speech and academic freedom.

This is why I hate that bastard, that phoney, that fake liberal creep Alan Dershowitz:

"There are some who claim that torture is a nonissue because it never works - it only produces false information. This is simply not true, as evidenced by the many decent members of the French Resistance who, under Nazi torture, disclosed the locations of their closest friends and relatives. -- Alan Dershowitz

Yea, motherfucker, that's the same thing. I am getting back into my spacecraft and getting the hell out, you guys can have this rock.

So much for my kitten guise. Smootches.

When The Police Are Gone The Mice Will Play!

"Sorry about my 3rd post!"
"Ooops! My SECOND post!"
"Golly, gosh...ANOTHER post in ONE day!"
"OHMYGOD! I have GOT to post again today!"
"OK - like dig this, man! I'm stokin'another post today, baby!"

...yes, folks...it's a free-for-all! ANARCHY has taken over! With no police, we've lost our balance, our moorings, our WAY! We've no longer the ability to distinguish the difference between right and wrong! Our once sacred site is now a boiling froth of in-your-face revelry and lawlessness! Our statutory provisions have been rendered MEANINGLESS! OHHHHHHHHHHHHH, the humanity!!

Those few among us who still hold to their scruples must rise to the occasion! We must dig out the anarchists and BURN rebellious asses. Call to arms - that we may rebuild our infrastructure.

Yes, and finally, we must draft a new provision that a Forum Rights Commission be consulted on the policing; a constant watch group set up so that when our sentries fall drunk on the job there will be accountability and HELLLLLLLL to pay!!

If there truly be a God, let his light guide us through this hour of malevolence!

STEVE BARBER:
Steve B.

Would have joined you guys for eats but was marchin' with WGA & supporting actors, musicians, Teamsters, Service Employees and other unions. Right down Hollywood Blvd! March started at Ivar (1 block west of Vine) and ended at Grauman's. Massive turnout. Alicia Keyes gave a live performance right before the march started. My only complaint is against the paparazzi, both pro and civilian, who treat gargantuan assemblies of live human beings like holograms they can walk through. Other than that, everything was cool.

I even got interviewed by a newspaper reporter, who gave me a great straight line: What is the importance of all these unions marching together? I told him it was like the mule the guy hit in the head with the board: first, you get his attention.

Gee whiz, Wal-Mart tries to tell its serfs that unions have "nothing to offer." Well, not if you don't mind working through lunch breaks, rest breaks and off the clock...

Confusion will be my epitaph.
As I crawl a cracked and broken path
If we make it we can all sit back and laugh.
But I fear tomorrow I'll be crying,
Yes I fear tomorrow I'll be crying...

- King Crimson

WELL WISHES

Yesterday was an exceptionally excellent and productive day.

This morning, very early, Josh flew back East for a few days.

Tomorrow I and The Electric Baby will hie ourselves to the manse of Mr. Len Wein--most adept creator of comical book characters such as Wolverine, Swamp Thing and Storm--and his multi-talented wife, the adorable equine maven, Ms. Christine Valada--there to encompass, embrace, overflow with bonhomie and the comestibles of the Giving of Thanks season.

As I, lowest of the low, have far more to give thanks for, while much of the rest of my species wallows and sloughs and suffers, I will absent myself from this portal, smile with gratitude, and pursue the muse.

To you all: go sweetly, stay softly.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

Creeeeeeeeeeeeepyyyyyyyyyyyy!
I just read The Marching Morons on the toilet this morning!

Cyril Kornbluth. That's a name that sticks, that is.

whoops!
Sorry for that odd double post. Something strange must've happened (and I mean beyond Steve and I thinking alike). It's the bloody 50K dialup connection....

Hello kind hearts and gentle people. I was a posting and pushed wrong key and lost all. I sign from Higher Power to not be so verbose. The jist of message was this is a great site. Thnaks Harlan, for walking the picket line. You are on the forefront of this battle, as you have been on the side of the angels in so many causes I believe in. My doctor and I worked out my thyroid meds and HB meds, so I feel semi-human again. My ill health caused my absence from this site several weeks. In reviewing the last few weeks of posts, I have to say I love this site. I used to think I was reasonably intelligent and educated, perhaps even well-read. You all humble me. No where else I know are things I care about and love so routinely discussed. That is way cool. I loved Ross Martin; his performances were very nuanced and gracious. I have not yet been able to read Pynchon. I redoing Hemingway, (love the stories, novels not so much), and trying Thomas Wolfe, (my conclusion - you can go home again, you just might not know the place), and just reread a lot of Poe. There's a bit of Harlan in Poe, or a bit of Poe in Harlan, but Harlan is the more thoughtful and disciplined writer in my humble opinion. This is just my idle thoughts, but I thought on rereading his Ligeia, there was the horror story, but on another level, he was also talking about the dissiaption or our powers in general as we age and his powers in particar in terms of his Muse. Some of his poetry seems to echo this. The good news is "Ligeia" comes back in the end. I just redid an essay by Margaret Fuller; brilliant, but a sad life story. What bothered me the most was the comments on her life and loves, (she bore an baby out of wedlock) by supposedly intelligent men like Emerson and Hawthorne and Thoureau. They found her ridiculous while the same life and loves by a man, they would have admired and perhaps envied. It wasn't easy being a woman then and ain't always easy now. Happy belated bd to shagin and rick. I've been gone awhile. 40 ain't bad, shagin. I like who i became after 35. And to tony ravenscraft; sympathy to you on the death of your mom. I lost my parents in the last few years, and it's hard. Unlike some others on this site, I love the Holidays, every single one. So Merry, Merry and Happy, Happy to all. You are superlative people, each and every one and I feel honored to be here. Harlan, don't ever worry about people, on the net or in person, who won't sign their names to their missives. They are beneath contemp. Chi Di

...and the morons keep on marchin'...
More and more in the last seven years, I am reminded of "The Marching Morons" (brain fart on the author's name, dagnab it) wherein the masses breed, elect and promote "the common man" until the top positions of all branches of business and government are occupied by complete idiots, with a nominal "assistant" who does all the actual work when not occupied with secret research on everything that really matters. I'm reminded every time I see a panic-spread chain email, hear our chief exec declaim about his "nucular" threat du jour, or hear some talk-radio call-in show about the dangers we face from the furriners in our midst.

I was hoping by this point I'd have remembered the author's name, but I don't even have time to Wikidisinformationpedia it, so I'll leave that as an exercise for the student.

Hope everyone's having as good a day as can be expected.

How far would you go for good cheap food???
A mighty thanks to Steve Barber for a fine time yesterday. All in all a fun afternoon.

The hubby *finally* got to meet another person from the board (having met Lynn back in '03 or '04 sometime). Dips were absolutely delicious (with fine wine by the glass to boot, who knew?? And cherry pie topped with a fine cab is actually very good too). Food was followed by a quick kidnapp... I mean driving tour of a few local highlights whilst Steve skillyfully sealed a deal by phone. (Yes, we're from So Cal, but neither of us spent loads of time in downtown or Hollywood).

We learned Steve doesn't know his way around *everywhere*... (just ask about Chinatown.). A stop at Amoeba CDs after a drive by of the writer's strike, and then back to Union station for the metro trip back to our home base.

It was a good time, Thanks Steve!!

Peg and Steve below demonstrate that great minds think alike, often simultaneously.

French Dips, Writers and Universal Suckage

Had a good time yesterday at Philippe's eating our one and only original french dip sandwiches with Peggy and Mark Groseth (they with fine wine, me with Diet Coke). Afterward we raced to Hollywood to offer our regards to the writers who were striking all over Hollywood Boulevard (and a little detour to Amoeba Music for some CD a-buyin' and traffic ensnarlation).

Good to see you guys, hope the metro was a smooth ride home.
____________________________________

Speaking of the writers' strike, it was all the event in Hollywood, but I saw nary a single newscast about it. It seemed to be a well-planned shutdown of Hollywood Blvd, so I have to figure everyone knew it was coming...
____________________________________

All this back and forth about the use of the word suck.

I'd like to suggest that black holes suck. But in this case you're all right. Black holes simultaneously suck at every possible physical object -- and also at nothing at all.

(And for the physiciasts out there who would argue that black holes pull and don't suck I would point out that it's a matter of perspective. If you're the pull-ee, things would pretty much suck from your point of view, wouldn't they?)

Thank you. Tip your waitresses -- and keep the good stuff away from Mr. Church. He seems to have overdosed on his ziprasidone.

How far would you go for good cheap food
A mighty thanks to Steve Barber for a fine time yesterday. Dips were delicious (with fine wine to boot, who knew??) followed by a quick kidnapp... I mean driving tour of a few local highlights whilst Steve skillyfully sealed a deal by phone. (Yes, we're from So Cal, but that doesn't mean either of us spent loads of time in downtown or Hollywood).

Perhaps Hollywood and Broadway (among others) need to take a look at Sarkozy's France where it's starting to look a lot like 1968.....

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7102890.stm

Scary, but inspirational too.

Mike Jacka, Ezra: thou dost crack me up. Please accept my amusement in the spirit of good humor with which it is intended; I mean you no harm. But c'mon, guys -- the "Monstrous Urchins of Today Will Destroy Us All Tomorrow" shtik? Is this new to you?

VERNON
You think about this...when you get old, these kids; when I get old, they're gonna be runnin' the country.

CARL
Yeah?

VERNON
Now this is the thought that wakes me up in the middle of the night... That when I get older, these kids are gonna take care of me...

CARL
I wouldn't count on it!

("The Breakfast Club", 1985)

Now, I myself am less afraid of today's punks tomorrow than I am of their parents today. We are the generation that will someday have to account for our slavering approval for the invasion of Iraq (and possibly Iran), for the diminishment of our civil liberties, for allowing our media to slip into a pernicious and cozy relationship with corporations and government, and for making hits out of movies like "Fred Claus". On the other hand, the supposedly illiterate boobs of today are apparently realizing that electing Shrubby the Spoiled Prince was a bad idea, as was his stupid and insane war, and that they've elected to avoid "Cavemen" in droves. So, y'know, there's always hope.

I have no doubt that twenty years from now there will be horrors of the like you and I cannot now imagine, and that several thousand of the toddlers squirming about in day care right now will be responsible for some seriously monstrous shit. And now doubt their own response to impending fogeydom will be to disparage the toddlers crawling around on THEIR floors, and thus shall the cycle continue.

“What scares me is that in twenty years when I'm a geezer these ignorant, illiterate, credulous boobs will be running things.”

Actually, it will still be run by the people who are intelligent and literate. The problem is that those people will be elected by the ignorant and illiterate, who the literate will then manipulate, at will.

Wait. Maybe twenty years is already here.

Mike

Thanks for those URLs, Barney and Steve and Steve.

D.

Looking for some perspective on the WGA strike? Perhaps a little context from someone who can give you the l-o-n-g view? Take a look at this wonderful video statement by 93-year-old screenwriter Irving Brecher:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1NeihzlBHo

Same old story, indeed.

Steve J.

The Peters principle
One'a my favorite quotes about Hollywood was passed along in Smith's comments re Jon Peters' career path: "In Hollywood, you just kinda fail upward." Probably not original to Smith, but in this case it's especially appropriate.

oh no, third time today!


"prefer not to"

I believe Bartleby the Scrivener has been referenced somewhere around these parts within the past year.


Andrew Fuller:

Haven't seen that movie. Come to Grendel's anyway. They have a great selection of chais and other teas, and I'm sure they'll do you a hot chocolate if you prefer. I'm usually performing there the first Monday of the month at 7:30.

"Bartleby, the Scrivener" of course, by Herman Melville. No wiki-anything or googling or any non-arachnid electronic gadgets employed. Just good ol' memory. (Added trivia... I believe the short movie adaptation we saw in high school -- after reading the story -- had filmed final scenes in the fort under the Golden Gate Bridge.) Also, it's my favorite phrase to utter in the workplace. Management looks at me blankly, I tell them to go read a book that's not non-fiction about project management or talking points.

No payment necessary.

--
David L. -- haven't yet been to Grendel's Coffee Shop, though every time I pass by I think that they should give my dog a free cuppa if we stepped inside. That said because I don't drink the devil's bile myself. Regardless, your Beowulf readings sound more fulfilling that trivia night at the pub.

Ever see the mid-'70s animated version of the Grendel novel? Yes, actually Gardner's book. With the dragon voiced by Peter Ustinov. Just beautiful, odd style.

"emotional hydraulics."

Is that when you try to lift a bad idea? Yes, a certain guy here is very good at the heavy lifting in that regard.

Rube Goldberg does the dishes with a shotgun.

---------------

I will be a kitten the rest of the week. Licking my claws and always wishing good tidings to the wonderful webderland golden ladies and the oh so macho gentlemen.

Happy turkeyday you turkeys. I love you so much I'd even eat the horror at the end of the fork. Yes, I know who originally wrote that. I am a jeopardy champ, chump, as the case may be.

Toodles.

"NOT enamored". One word changes everything. "sigh"

Weary KOS. Half-Blind, Wholly Crazy.

"Because sucks takes an object, you must suck something."

Oh, I gets it! So "You suck!" is incorrect, but "You suck dead donkey dicks!" is proper usage.

AH, and the lay/lie conundrum, ah yes: I can lie down, but if I am laying, it requires a partner.

I love grammar. It's so friendly!

The percentage of people who read, or read for fun: those stat's come out every few years, they're always good for a headline, and they're always good for a fit of yawning hereabouts. Look at history, criminy: until maybe a hundred, or a hundred and fifty years ago only about twenty-five per cent of the human race TOPS could read anything at all (and most of those at barely "See Spot Run" level). For most of history most societies got along with maybe ten percent literacy, and yet look at all the literature and history and poetry and such we got in the canon. I think basic literacy is great, and it accounts, as it has risen in recent centuries, for most of the advances in human civilization and liberty, BUT, but you don't have to appreciate Proust to appreciate which Tweedledum (we no longer get to choose Tweedledee) to elect.

I'm an elitist. I really don't care if the whole world likes to read, or would "prefer not to" (ten cents and a free beer to the Pavilionite that tells me what classic short story I have just quoted).

I want those who love reading to read, and write, and converse about both. The Infinite Conversation between generations and worlds that we call literature.

And let those that don't like reading go fish, hunt foxes, paint, love, hate, eat, drink and enjoy their lives as they will.

I thank God for those who love to read, and will do anything to foster that love among those with that predisposition. But I am not gonna sign on to some concept of "No Reader Left Behind" where we shall be required to bemoan the truth that a huge majority of the human race is enamored of reading for anything other than basic information, even if it's just "Where's the nearest Toad Burger?"

Not to mention, I am not so sure that mass literacy really makes for a great civilization. Germany in 1933 was likely the most well-read and cultured society there was. "Mein Kampf" and "Der Voelkischer Beobachter" proved more popular than "Nichts Im Westen" and "Die Frankfurter Allgemeine", and thereby hangs a tale.

There's more serious stuff to worry about, like why IS Israeli security in Kazakhstan and why WERE they chasing Faisal?

Now THAT'S interesting.

KOS

Unitedhollywood.com
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-cdaQ_pAFw

A friend of mine who does a lot of East Coast theater sent me this. He was completely stoked to see Harlan walking the picket line and is shooting this link through the ether. I've been pretty busy so I haven't done as close a reading of this board as I would like. If someone already posted this one, my apologies for the duplication.

It's at 1,457 views as I type this and after the one minute mark is mostly pure Harlan. Great stuff.

- Barney Dannelke

MAYHEW:

N*O*W ya got it, kiddo!

Tone of my voice: grumpy, yet cuddlesome.

You done no wrong. I was jus shuckin' ya.

h

Those numbers are indeed alarming. They also mean that the quality of literature will decline because only established bestselling writers will be able to sustain themselves from writing books and stories. The writers who don't enter into some sort of a give-and-take with the electronic media will not be noticed.

As far as the U.S. is concerned, however, I'm sure that population growth and increasing foreign sales have compensated for the relative loss of readers, though. Unfortunately the same is not true in Europe.

Sorry to be gloomy gus but David's email reminded me of the National Endowment for the Arts report, 'To Read or Not to Read', issued this week as a follow-up to their 2004 report 'Reading at Risk'.

The earlier report focused on 'literary' reading and was dismal enough. The new study deals with reading of all kinds and is pretty depressing, and scary.

The percentage of 9 year olds who "read for fun" is at about 50%. The percentage of 17 year olds plunged from 31% in 1984 to 22% in 2004. It gets worse. In 2006, 15 to 24 year olds spent just 7 to 10 minutes a day reading ANYTHING AT ALL. Between 1992 and 2002 the percentage of college graduates (presumably at the height of their "literariness") who tested as "proficient in reading prose" declined from 40 percent to 31 percent.

Of course the NEA are professional worriers but if these stats are anywhere near to being accurate...well can anyone say after me...DARK AGE?

What scares me is that in twenty years when I'm a geezer these ignorant, illiterate, credulous boobs will be running things.

David : *eye roll* Well OF COURSE there was - Michael Crichton wrote it. Hell, they made a movie out of that one, too - The 13th Warrior, had that Antonio guy in it. Crichton had called the book 'Eaters of the Dead,' though.

Duh.

Mr. Loftus:
Why not tell her that DC Comics published a BEOWULF comic in the 1970s? That might be more on her level.

Oh my god

I'm gonna violate the one-a-day rule because I'm not in a flame war and you're all gonna LOVE this one.

My wife called this morning after she got out of her class in the philosophy of religion.

"Beowulf" came up in the discussion, and a girl -- a college sophomore, mind you -- expressed surprise and wonder that there was a BOOK on which the new movie was based!

Ahh, the emotional hydraulics that happens here. Ya never know where the ol' barometric pressure's gonna go.

But part of the topic Harlan raised reminded me of a passing obsession I had several weeks ago. I wanted to find who designed the great Rococo interior of West's train. Google can be surprisingly scant when you hope to find behind-the-scenes images of the set. But I learned the luxurious interior of the passenger car was constructed on Stage 6 at CBS Studio Center, and it was designed by Albert Heschon. (All exterior shots made use of the same train that appeared in a show called Petticoat Junction, which was up north).

I also wanted to see preproduction design sketches and storyboards. Not! The Internet can definitely have its limits.

Re: Barry Sonnenfeld, and the crappy movie take on the series. I read an interview with Conrad, and he was refreshingly candid about these patronizing bozos when they had spurned his offer to help them develop the movie based on his intimate knowledge of the series, yet wanted him to do a cameo. He quite openly hated the movie as much as many of us had.

Conrad also had a lot of trouble with the producer, Jon Peters - who'd been a hairdresser previously. According to Conrad, Peters should have REMAINED a hairdresser. I suspect that's the case with MOST of these studio execs.

I also heard this great interview with composer Richard Markowitz, who'd created both the main theme for the show (whose objective Dimitri Tiomkin couldn't grasp), and that great theme for Artemus when he was in diguise. I often forget how accurate movie parodies of Hollywood executives can be: Markowitz put up with CBS exec (or whatever his banner was), Morton Stevens, who'd walked in anxious to fire Markowitz before he even heard the score; he walked into the studio for a session, followed by about 5 yes men. They all remained silent until Stevens nodded after hearing the theme. Suddenly, in unison, they actually said, "yes. It - er- was very good! Very good? Yeah, yeah. VERY good!" I hate those guys, man! Markowitz put up with a LOT of shit - and got paid next to nothing (Tiomkin was "paid 10 times the amount just to keep his music OUT of the show"!)

I get intrigued with these stories, because they are red flags for what to expect in a professional world with a mentality I may one day have to contend with myself. (This includes the publishing world to an extent as well)

**Harlan, was the WWW series a prospect for you at any point back then?

'Tis Autumn
You haven't seen it yet, Harlan? Wow. That *is* rather an oversight on the part of the director, eh? The film was screened in the LA area around October 22. I searched the Pav for around that date. I guess that answers my question about whether you might have been at the screening!

The film is receiving a NY screening on Friday, December 7. I'm currently not booked to work that night, so I may try to pop down for a peep. That's a fairly outside possibility, but I really want to see this film. Who knows how long it will take for it to make it to DVD?

One way or another, this is on my "must see" list. Am so pleased to know you're in it Harlan. I always enjoy hearing you talk!

A Day at Philippe's and the Writers' Strike

OPEN INVITE: Webderlander Peggy Groseth and her husband are in town (the LA-ish area), so the three of us are meeting today at 11:30 for lunch at PHILIPPE'S -- home of the one and only original French Dip sandwich (no, it wasn't invented in France).

Anyone else with no life and little to do in the middle of a workday are invited to join us!

Philippe's
www.philippes.com
1001 N Alameda
Downtown Los Angeles
(a block from Union Station)

(Sorry for the last-minute notice, but we only arrived at this plan late yesterday.)
_____________________________________

There's a great article in the New York Times regarding the WGA strike, and a possible template for resolution based on webisodes being produced for LOST.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/20/arts/television/20digi.html?_r=1&oref=slogin
_____________________________________

Lastly, "Pay the Writer" (the excerpt of Harlan's "Warner Brothers with a Tin Cup" commentary from Erik's DREAMS WITH SHARP TEETH) is rapidly approaching 35,000 views (34,545 as of this a.m.). A few of the usual internet dickhead types have posted, but 81 comments so far only a couple have been outright fools.

Beowulf

ANDREW FULLER:

I would have known the answer, of course. For the last two years running, in our fair city, a friend and I have had a "Beowulf" evening in July at (where else?) Grendel's Coffee House at East 8th and Burnside wherein (he being a retired professor of Old and Middle English Literature) Dick reads excerpts in the original Anglo-Saxon and from Seamus Heaney's translation, and I (being only a reader) read excerpts from the John Gardner version -- the chapter with Grendel's conversation with the dragon.

Transitive/intransitive verbs
There's a simpler, more direct explanation to the lie/lie/lay problem. It's a simple classification of verbs as transitive and intransitive, or better yet, takes and object or doesn't take an object.

To lie: infinitive of the intransitive verb. It means to put oneself in a prone position.

lie, lay, had lain, is lying.

None of these will ever take an object. You don't lie a bed, although you might lie abed.

To lay something is to put it down or have sex with, since it's a transitive verb.

Lay, laid, had laid, is laying.

So, if ever, like my students, you write "I laid in bed," my first question will be, "Whom?"

But if you really have trouble remembering this, remember that the word suck is also a transitive verb. The colloquialism "That Sucks!" is incorrect. Because sucks takes an object, you must suck something.

~Peter

Mild Mild Mess
I'm so happy I skipped the Wild Wild West movie; all I know about it (aside from the inescapable trailerage) comes from Kevin Smith's first "Evening With" Q&A DVD, wherein he describes his "Superman Lives" script attempt rollercoaster, finishing with his recognition of the giant spider in WWW as something hairdresser-cum-producer Jon Peters wanted as a "seminal moment" in the Superman tale.

(I like Smith's commentary much more than his actual movies, as his discussions remind me of my whip-smart brother-in-law. The movies are mostly enjoyable, but his repartee is definitely my cuppa tea.)

Mayhew, stop groveling. You made a good point, stand by it.

The Lay/Lie Conundrum

KOS: Since you asked, and since no one else has answered, and since I made the initial error, I will delve into the thickets of the Lay/Lie conundrum.

But I must type slooooowly, because this is one of those things where there is a terrible dissonance between my brain and my heart. And the typing fingers side with the heart on this one, every time.

The basic issue, as I understand it, concerns the relationship of subject, verb and object in a sentence.

When the object is being placed on a horizontal surface by whoever is the subject of the sentence, the word to use is lay. “Roro was at the craps table, and he lay his money down.” Or “I am watching a master craftsman laying down bricks.”

If the subject of the sentence is getting horizontal on its own, the word to use is lie. “Lie down on the couch while I get a blanket.” Or “That’s my dog lying on the floor.”

It gets tricky because the past tense of lie is lay. “He lay on the floor because it was cooler there.”

My own personal weird handicap is that in my heart I feel that only things with a central nervous system can lie down. So my fingers type wrong things like “a stone was laying on the floor” or (in the case that got me busted) “if you’ve got half a grand laying around.” Both of those should be “lying.”

But my inner forth grader protests – someone had to LAY the money or the stone down. It didn’t LIE down by itself! But matters not. It’s a sentence structure thing, not a biology thing.

The proof of this is the old bedtime prayer: “Now I lay me down to sleep…” “I” is the subject, but “me” is the object being acted upon, so the grammar is correct.

HARLAN: After I posted my last, I took a walk. When I was walking, I had a thought balloon. Inside the thought balloon were the words: “He’s messing with you ya big dope! There’s a wink in his postings!”

Sir, sometimes I am much too goddamned serious. Please chalk it up to “getting to know you.” I promise to bring my sense of humor in future. And please please please do not resort to dumbing down revolting emoticons.

Although, okay, I would be amused to see: I WILL CHOP OFF YOUR HEAD AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK!!! ; )

ALL: Sorry for so many many posts!

MR. MAYHEW

Sir:

The greatest inadequacy of this internet posting melangs is:

One cannot, with even proximate emotion, perceive tone of voice. Consequently, gibe jibe & jive are as summarily lost as chaff upon the breeze.

Harlan Ellison

Meadhalls, children of Cain, and uncanny valleys
I winced when I heard that a big-budget CGI Beowulf experiment was slouching toward us, but slightly at ease when I heard Mr. Gaiman was helping at least to write the dialogue. Since seeing the first trailer, I'm not intrigued, if only for the technical rendering weirdness. A NYTimes reviewer shares my aversion http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/11/14/digital-actors-in-beowulf-are-just-uncanny/index.html. Also, I do not like the implication that Grendel might be a son of Hrothgar, since the (translations I've read of the) poem make a point about the monster family being descendants of Cain. Instead of seeing this flick, I think I'll curl up with a copy of John Gardner's novel, Grendel -- one of my favorite reads... (and name-source of my doggie http://www.owlsoup.com/dog )

Sadder still, I co-hosted a trivia night two weeks ago, asking for the name of the hero of the 8th century OE poem, and (bonus question) what three monsters he fought. They whined and booed, they wanted a hint, and I said they'd all know the answer in about a week. I think two whole people in the room knew the first answer. *Heavy sigh, clucking of tongue.*

Listen to them, Mr. Renfield...children of the web...what music they make...

Mayhew,

Chill. The proper response to Ellison bustin' on you can be of several types, but I suggest one of these three:

1. Say nothing, but take the message to heart.

2. Say I screwed up and I'll try to do better next time.

3. I don't remember. I had 3, but in the midst of typing 1 & 2, I lost 3.

But most importantly, as I've learned over the years, is that Harlan only wants you to be a better person. Don't take any of the specific words too much to heart, just that "You know you can do better, and I expect it of you in the future."
-----

HARLAN, three things.

1) I am busted on grammar and spelling. Some of that (“minutiae”) was the sad result of typing and sending quickly. But send I did; I own up to all of it. You have me dead to rights.

2) Sal Lombino. Yeah, okay, he wrote as Evan Hunter first, and then used the pseudonym Ed McBain to differentiate the crime novels from the “serious” stuff. I was only trying to say that a guy born with the name Lombino, during his life wrote books using the two other names. I claim no expertise beyond the ability to read and more or less comprehend a New York Times obit. I’ve only read some of the man’s work.

3) And on the substance of your complaint: I only meant to disagree with you on a particular point, not to reprimand (for which I have zero authority). When I was coming up, I was taught that if you like someone and you disagree with them, it’s okay to say so as long as you’re civil about it. If that assumption does not apply here, or if I came off as overly familiar, or uncivil, or superior, or if I was wrong on the merits of my point I apologize.

Best,

MM

Animation And Life
So animated blood get's a lower rating than "real" blood? Who wouldathunkit? Does this exemption apply to other body fluids? Can we rotoscope such classics of the genre as "Debbie Does Dallas" and "The Opening of Misty Beethven" and re-release them as R?

This could be a HUGE new source of revenue for those aretists, now in their dotage, who created such masterpieces in their salad years.

Anyone else attending LOSCON this weekend? I have not been in years, and an out of town friend flying in has twisted my arm into actually going.

I would love to know the proper usage of laying/lying (did not see where MM used/misused the term), not to mention how and when the toward/towards thing came about. Is it a "Britishism" thing, such as "let's table this" having opposite meaning on either side of the Atlantic? Not trying to be a smartass, I really would like to know. Not expecting HE to answer, just anyone who has a clue?

Always looking to learn about usage.

Mine own is, doubtless, spotty and middlebrow.

Ah well.

KOS

PS Plesae forgive my occasional typo. I have increasing trouble reading what I type, and often cannot distinguish i from l and suchlike. Such is life.

Animated Gore Galore

Mark,

The PG-13 was no doubt due to the gore being animated rather that simulated with live actors.

Strangely enough, the Klingon blood foating around in zero-g in Star Trek VI was pink because if it were red, it would have gotten the film an R rating. It was animated blood.

Go figure.

Chuck

SNAPPISH RETORTS

1) Derek Anderson wins the fur-lined banana.

2) Michael Mayhew should not undertake to reprimand a cranky, crepuscular old fart such as mineownself, as to who or what he chooses to snap at, because (he replied, making a wet Bronx Raspberry sound) if I want to jerk your collective fuckin' chains, I will do so! So bite THAT, Mayhew. Not to mention that someone who doesn't know how to spell minutiae, doesn't know the proper use of laying/lying, doesn't know that here in 'Murrica we spell it "toward" and not "towards" and doesn't seem to know that Ed McBain was not the pseudonym of Sal Lombino, but that Evan Hunter (and 12 others) was the pseudonym of Sal Lombino, and that Ed McBain was the pseudonym of Evan Hunter -- well -- HAH! That for you, Mayhew!

3) Welcome back, Cookie. Missed you. Now I have to track down DeFelleta and slap him around for neve sending me a copy of the Jackie Paris documentary in which I appear, after promising me he would do so when it was finished...at least two years ago! Muthuhfuggin' director bastard sunsabitches cogsugguhz! And I mean that in the nicest possible way. (So if anyone out there except Mayhew can locate this guy and tell him to use my phone number, which he ought to still have after pursuing me for two friggin' years to let him interview me for the goddam pukepot crasslefragginmuddahslopin' movie, let his ass know he should oughtta pick up a phone and CALL ME so's to get the promised copy of the fruggingrempincoskazuckin docudammit to me!)

And I mean ALL of the preceding in the nicest possible way.

I can't BELIEVE you tsk-tsk'd me, Mayhew...you prssmjrtyhfl!

Ellison

Speechless.....
....yes, speechless. To my knowledge, an historical first.

Harlan's reaction when I told him his "DREAMS" You Tube clip had over 31,000 "hits", ten days after posting. See for yourself:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mj5IV23g-fE

I did point out to him that the guy snorting a Coke and Mentos cocktail had multi-million hits on You Tube, so, he should not quit his day job just yet.

Thought you'd all like to know.
Erik

You know, if Harlan wrote A Christmas Carol Tiny Tim would join a gang and shoot his parents. hehe.

-------------

Faisel, will you get the hell out of there. Sounds dangerous.

Why is Israel around those parts?

Ezra,

I also saw Beowulf this weekend and posted my review over in the Forums. I did not have some of the same problems you had with the faces of the characters. With the exception of a couple of scenes with Angelina Jolie, I thought it looked incredibly realistic.

The comparisons to 300 are inevitable but, as you stated, this film has a great deal more depth to it than 300.

While definitely gory in places (how did this get a PG-13 rating), this is a very well done film. Zemeckis, Avary and Gaiman should be very proud of their achievement

Mark

Nothing cursory about lemmings, the few I've known were exacting little mothers.

I saw BEOWULF over the weekend. I thought it was well written and acted, a memorable character study (light years beyond the pyschotic 300). It was visually dazzling, buuuuuut... I still have a problem with the doll-like human animated faces. And all the "3D" swishing and swooshing just gets in the way for me.

Too bad the video computer game shit is the only way you can get the 14 year olds in the theater.

But I was very moved by the drama beneath the razzle dazzle.

Henry Enoch Sharp

A couple more tidbits:

Henry Sharp did the cover illustration for The Feathered Serpent by Evan Hunter (pen name of S. A. Lombinio, better known as the crime writer Ed McBain). You may see the work (and purchase the book, if you've got half a grand laying around), here: http://www.lwcurrey.com/details.php?record=100043

Henry Sharp was also a pretty regular contributor to Fantastic Adventures magazine, certainly as an illustrator, but it looks like also as a writer, as Enoch Sharp. I'm having trouble finding examples of the work, but there are folks who are selling the magazines which contain the work here: http://www.tomfolio.com/bookssub.asp?subid=1029&lo=3&page=5

Mr Ellison: it seems to me that railing against the web as a knowledge tool because it has great breadth but little depth is rather like complaining about hammers because they cannot cut two by fours. The web is just one tool -- a terrific place to begin learning, because it's fast and points the way towards deeper sources.

And I gotta say, in the context of a friendly conversation about a forty year old TV show, this "children of the web" business isn't entirely logical. It's a safe bet that folks who are willing to dive into the minutia of The Wild Wild West were probably walking the earth well before the web became popular. Most, I suspect predate even the first ARPANET message, on October 29, 1969.

Mr. Sharp
The problem is, Harlan, that I've been reading you since 1975, and can't recall every name that you've ever mentioned in print, on TV radio or at conventions. Was Mr. Sharp an editor when you were just breaking into the field in the mid-1950s? Am I even remotely near the ballpark on this one?

Henry Enoch Sharp
Could it be that Mr. Sharp did illustrations for FANTASTIC ADVENTURES and AMAZING STORIES?

By an odd coincidence, I did a Philcon panel this weekend on steampunk and the fascination with the Victorian era. I tended to stick to the historical and sociological issues of the era, three of the panelists were mainly erotica writers, and the fifth guy stressed the role of _The Wild Wild West_ in the development of the genre. (No mention of Harry Sharp as far as I can recall.)

ISP card from Bangladesh
Greetings from Dhaka, just finished my assignment here and thought I'd register my latest adventure on the board. Personally nothing exciting happened here apart from nearly being struck by a falling tree (Remember when I got shot at and chased back to my hotel by the Israeli security team in Uzbekistan? That was so cool).

Cyclone Sidr lost a lot of its power when it reached here (estimated death toll: 10,000) and the country nearly shut down due to the extensive damage caused. The general feeling is that if you want to really see the effects of global warming, come down here and see the impact. Hard to believe but there are legitimate reasons to fear a second cyclone may be coming very soon.

Brian, Michael, Justin, et al. Will be in touch when I get back to Blighty.

Best.

FAQ

Sharp
I've only just started scratching the surface of Henry Enoch Sharp. A brief mention (and a sample of his artwork) is available at:

http://www.btinternet.com/~charles.nightingale/sf_and_fantasy.htm

Googling his name may yield an entry for FIND THE FEATHERED SERPENT by the late, great Evan Hunter (Ed McBain), whose cover he did artwork for. No doubt he has many more credits, and I'll certainly look for them when I have an opportunity. But hopefully the above entry is a good jumping-off point.

At no time was Wikipedia ever used to find this information.

"'Tis Autumn: The Search for Jackie Paris"
Hi everyone! De-lurking from my lurkim to ask if y'all had discussed this anywhere on the Pav or the forums yet. Have you? I looked around a little, but didn't see anything about it. Granted, I only flitted about.

Anyhoo...this movie is being promoted by jazzcorner.com and I watched the trailer and hey! There's Harlan!

Can't wait to see this film. Does anybody have anything to say about it? I have only too recently become hip to Jackie Paris. Diggin' him now, tho'.

The Queen's Riches
Jason is citing the Spy-Fi exhibit down here in lil Ol' Long Beach at our most famous rusting landmark, the Queen Mary.

http://www.queenmary.com/index.php?page=spyfi

(The Queen, by the way, has just gained a major now lease on life -- pun intended -- as a result of its bankruptcy a couple of years ago. The new owners are already putting millions of dollars into refurbishing the grey ghost, er, "lady".)

And ... following the Spy-Fi exhibit, and accompanying the Ghosts and Legends Tour ... in February we get the *ta-Da* "STAR TREK: The Tour".


(Personally, I am looking forward to the duet between the Enterprise C and the Doomsday Machine, the classic song "Worlds Apart".)(Oh, not THAT kind of tour...)

There's virtually nothing online to describe what the Trek Tour is all about, but if anyone wants to drop me a line when it's announced -- or if you're planning to visit Spy-Fi -- I'll be happy to give you some local pointers.

HENRY ENOCH SHARP

Mmmm. Yes...well...ahem...children of the web, you are.

Your cursory lemminglike rush to the google may be all well and good, chappies, but it codifies just precisely why the internet and its tootily-heralded "access to knowledge" is about as valid as positing that, say, the exclusive reading of Richie Rich comic books will inform your knowledge of Keynesian economics theory.

In short, while you have, yes, scrabbled up all of Henry's tv credits, you have NOT--absolutely not--unshipped the Chinese Puzzle Box that links Henry to the genre of science fiction.

Yr. Pal, Harlan