Harlan Ellison: Short Story Collections

Ellison Wonderland

Reviewed by K.C. Locke

1st Publication: Paperback Library, 1962

Reviewed Edition: Bluejay Special Edition, soft cover; Bluejay Books, Inc., 1984
Copyright 1962, 1964 by Harlan Ellison
Copyright 1984 by The Kilimanjaro Corporation

Cover Art: artist uncredited

The Langerhans review

Reviews Description and Spoiler Warning

This random group of leftover dreams and wry conspiracies I
offer to Wednesday's Child...KENNY



Reviewed by K.C. Locke

1st Publication: Paperback Library, 1962

Reviewed Edition: Bluejay Special Edition, soft cover; Bluejay Books, Inc., 1984
Copyright 1962, 1964 by Harlan Ellison
Copyright 1984 by The Kilimanjaro Corporation

Cover Art: artist uncredited

The Langerhans review

Reviews Description and Spoiler Warning

This random group of leftover dreams and wry conspiracies I
offer to Wednesday's Child...KENNY

Contents and Copyright Dates

Introduction: "The Man On the Mushroom" (March, 1974, and November, 1983)
DO-IT-YOURSELF (written with Joe L. Hensley (1961)
HADJ (1956)

Introductory Quote

PLEASE NOTE: It has become standard practice for Mr. Ellison to "christen" his collections at the outset with some personage's wise words. ELLISON WONDERLAND, however, came to us before the commencement of that practice. Unless the author has a preference of material, I give you the words of the original Lewis Carroll, as set down in his book, (in case you thought it was the same one) ALICE IN WONDERLAND: "One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you grow shorter." And for anyone, other than the author, who feels that my choice is intrusive, I give you these other words, from that same work: "EAT ME." Spelled out in currants, mind you.


I'm not a collector, really. A gatherer, perhaps; an allow-to-pile-up-and-not-throw-awayer, to be sure - the only time I see the top of my desk in all its breathtaking radiance is when I consult my Oxford American Dictionary or my Roget's College Thesaurus (a literary dinosaur, in its way - Thesaurus Rex). Or when my stuffed Daffy Duck falls over; or my Longshot and Nightcrawler action figures; or my Pinky & the Brain bend-ems.

So, I don't have a complete collection of anything, except for body parts - and some areas of that collection are a bit more sparse than I would prefer, or ever admit to anyone except close friends like you guys. I'm working on it, but my library is embarrassingly shy of even Harlan Ellison's work. At this writing, I have DEATHBIRD STORIES, SHATTERDAY, SLIPPAGE (his latest collection; buy it at once), A,DV, and ANGRY CANDY, a recent gift from a very dear friend. And I take opportunities for 2nd - hand acquisition when I can. And I've had copies of others: DV, STRANGE WINE, ALONE AGAINST TOMORROW - all gone, "thanks" to personal catastrophe, or well-meant attempts to spread The Word by loaning out volumes that drifted away like the Flying Dutchman, never returning to my lap or shelves. The Dream Corridor series is available, and very nice - but it's just not the same.

Meanwhile, I remain grateful to libraries and used-bookstores, and there are some real dandies available through The Harlan Ellison Record Collection. Furthermore, I salaam as one with hinges on his hips, praising White Wolf for the work they're doing with the EDGEWORKS series, as well as other releases of his work. But I wouldn't be the ingrate that I am, if I didn't have the smallest, mingiest of gripes, now would I?

I, personally, think it would be super-duper if White Wolf would do a bit of re-ordering of the titles: it is much less difficult to find a copy of, say, AN EDGE IN MY VOICE than of GENTLEMAN JUNKIE, or WEB OF THE CITY, or A TOUCH OF INFINITY. I do not degrade the available material, it's just that,...well, take this book, ELLISON WONDERLAND. Getting it, as I am, on the heels of SLIPPAGE, it's much like finding your grandfather's baby pictures.

If you take an author, any author, and read their most recent accomplishment, then follow it with a trip through their earlier work, you will see things. Look back at Stephen King's first novel, CARRIE, after, say, THE GREEN MILE. CARRIE is still a terrific book, but it's also as much a form of time travel as the family photo album. Sometimes, it's like watching a flower open (or in some, regrettable cases, like THE TOMMYKNOCKERS, like watching one close). And this party trick works with any author, from Lovecraft to Leiber to,...well, Ellison, for instance. Why is that important? We'll get to that.

ELLISON WONDERLAND is notably the work of a younger man. Not in terms of style, talent or content - no, none of those things. Younger, yes. Fresher, brighter, sweeter? Perhaps.

Juvenile? Plodding? Prey to syntactical error, groping clumsily for words?

Hey. Kid.


Let me put you wise.

Upon my shelf, I have some books. One, a gift from a friend who knew I liked "sci-fi," is a Galahad/Arbor House omnibus, edited by Robert Silverberg and Martin H. Greenberg. GREAT TALES OF SCIENCE FICTION, is its name, and it provides a rather snappy cross-section of writers and periods, from Poe and Verne to Gregory Benford and Silverberg his ownself (although, inexplicably, it gives the gate to Lovecraft, and Clark Ashton Smith; and, for that matter, Harlan Ellison).

Pay close attention now. I cannot sufficiently impress upon you my statement, here and now, that Mr. Ellison's work, even at that early stage of his career and experience, is as tough, tight and ready to romp as any example provided for that time-frame; a period, Dear Friends, which includes terrific stories by such household names, tried and true, as Alfred Bester, Theodore Sturgeon, Cordwainer Smith, and Fritz Leiber. It is mature, insightful and aware.

I'm reminded of another of Mr. Ellison's stories, born of the MEDEA sessions in the '70s, "With Virgil Oddum At the East Pole." If memory serves, Virgil uses an old mining laser to tempt a glacier into collusion with some sunlight at the right places at the right times, forming a living, breathing, prismed, Technicolor sculpture of the beauty at the heart of man. Similarly, Mr. Ellison uses the tools of his time, finding new applications for mallet, awl and adze, to produce, well, magic. Had I not taken to the copyrights page, I would never have known, nor suspected, that these stories (tweaked and/or polished by the author for this edition or not) came upon us some 35 to 40 years ago. They are, for the most part, more science-fictional than some of Mr. Ellison's later work, but that was likely geared to the saleability of the genre as it was then (during this period, he also wrote and sold quite a bit of crime fiction). There are no creaks, no stumbles, none of the gratuitous, "experimental" dabblings with vocabulary, or other elements one generally associates with (and forgives of) a "junior writer." These stories seem to have sprung directly from Mr. Ellison's forehead. Not hyperbole; sincere enthusiasm.

Harlan Ellison, I remind you, was for some years referred to as, alternately, the "wunderkind" and the "enfant terrible" of science/speculative fiction (which appellations have since broadened to include American Letters in general). Brash as a fan ( before fandom became quite so rabid), it promptly became clear that he was a force to be reckoned with as a writer, too.

Some of the stories in ELLISON WONDERLAND are recognizable as standards when we point to our favorites: "All the Sounds of Fear," "The Very Last Day of a Good Woman," "Nothing For My Noon Meal," and "In Lonely Lands." These, as well as others, equally mature and muscular, would have been right at home as television adaptations for "The Twilight Zone" and "The Outer Limits" - "The Sky Is Burning," for instance, would still be breathtaking, on the revival of TZ, or the current incarnation of "The Outer Limits," as would "Do-It-Yourself," (written with Joe L. Hensley), "The Silver Corridor," "Deal From the Bottom," "Commuter's Problem," and "Rain, Rain, Go Away" (and if you can read that last story and not think of Marvin Kaplan as Hobert Krouse, I will personally buy you an ice cream cone, two scoops, flavor of your choice, with sprinkles).

Mr. Ellison is remarkably agile, making merry in "Gnomebody," then performing a chilling about-face in "Battlefield." Throughout, he maintains his now-trademark emotional contact. The premises of such stories as "Mealtime," "Hadj," and the heartbreaking "The Wind Beyond the Mountains" might seem white-whiskered now, yet he invests his characters with such personality that they will not be denied their reality in the reader's heart. They all have vital organs, they hurt and bleed and laugh and dance and sweat and shit and die for us, even the ominous Walkaway, in "Back to the Drawing Boards" (substituted in this edition for "Are You Listening?" which was soon to appear in a Bluejay release).

As mentioned above, some of this ground had been trod before and certainly has been since. Nevertheless, as always in his work, Mr. Ellison never for a moment writes "down" to his audience. Each tool, each piece of "furniture" is a lever for the heart and mind, a Post-It note for our conscience. Often, in older stories of this period and genre, I am terribly distracted by such elements as reporters who wear hats and ties, breathe argot, warn their ladyfriends against going "all feminine" on them at crucial moments, and dine on hot, strong, black coffee and hamburger sandwiches. And maybe it is the World As Advertised ("As Seen On T.V.!") of the period. Maybe. I believe that Harlan Ellison, in all his work, tells us what he sees, the reality of the world around him, laced with fantastic elements or not, and never, ever resorts to a picture of life as we would have it. He works in a mythology of truth - not stereotype, archetype, or caricature.

Ahem - about that "baby pictures" crack.

As most of us around Webderland know, Harlan Ellison's collections have, over the years, developed a habit of declaring a theme, a common thread to their content. I'm afraid there's no such thematic declaration here, per se. There is, however, a more vigorous, optimistic personality about the collection as a whole. In his introduction, "The Man On the Mushroom" (written in 1974 and, presumably, tinkered-with in 1983), Mr. Ellison reminisces about the dark hours before the dawn, his Sisyphean journey to the West Coast, and that exalting, exalted moment when the bubble popped and life allowed him further, gleeful expectation, when that package arrived with EW and that nice, little royalty check (they call 'em "royalty checks", because that's what you feel like when you get your first one). These are stories with hope and conscience.

When I approached Mr. Ellison about reviewing ELLISON WONDERLAND, he seemed pleased with the notion, yet there remained some misgivings. In fairness to Mr. Ellison's professionalism, he admits to cringing a bit in contemplation of some of these stories, allowing that they were written by a younger version of himself. And he has a point - these stories were all written before the world became such a truly, lethally, maniacally crazy place; when fans were people who wrote you nice letters and thanked you for signing things at conventions and bookstores, not people who slept the night in your car while you and your wife were out of town or sent the Federales to your doorstep in the dark hours of the night; before censors and series-creators rewrote everything but your title; before you discovered how willing some of your colleagues were to settle for less even than "good enough;" before friends would perjure themselves on behalf of the opposition, or fall prey to murdering rapists in supermarket parking lots; before the mention of Ronald Colman (or Django Reinhardt, or B. Traven, or Cornell Woolrich, or Shelley Berman) turned everyone under thirty involved in the conversation into a mannikin before your very eyes.

So, these are sweeter songs sung at a lower volume, a "Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man," dealing in sorcery, warnings and love-notes. Because even then, he was writing about people. Science, rocket-ships, space-warriors, all that stuff - mallet, awl and adze, props for the real focus of the tale.

Which is still, invariably, us.

ELLISON WONDERLAND is a delight, a lighter volume that still carries weight; before the weight was a burden; before the burden settled quite so heavily on Mr. Ellison's - and our - shoulders. Read it, relax, and know wonder again.

K.C. Locke
San Francisco, CA
December, 1997

The Stories


Synopsis: John Weiler, suburban family man and trade association executive, is disrupted from his routine by alarming questions and an unwitting discovery about Those People Next Door. Then, one morning, his distraction takes him to that fabled Wrong Turn At Albuquerque, which is nowhere near his final destination...

Comments: Written in 1956 or '57, this story is slightly reminiscent of another science fiction work, revered in prose and on theater screens: Jack Finney's INVASION OF THE BODYSNATCHERS. In fact, the author cites Mr. Finney's story, "The People Next Door" (found in the collection, THE THIRD LEVEL) as a source of inspiration. "Commuter's Problem," however, is intimidating in its own right, and a gentler look at similar subject matter - how well do we know our neighbors? Nobody tries to overthrow the planet, no slimy pod-monsters lurk in dark places, waiting to steal the breath from our bodies; no, this is a subtler sort of paranoia, neither unreasonable nor unjustified. Who are those people next door or across the way? Might there not be lethally sinister goings-on behind those drawn drapes and darkened windows?

The two incidents that strike at me most sharply in this story are, first, Weiler's discovery of the somewhat Lovecraftian flora. The image of a man (in a suit, oddly enough) in a sunny suburb, goggling down at a photosynthetic squid, while clutching a baseball is unnerving, to say the least. The second, I find even more disturbing because of its direct association with reality: when Weiler is swept back into the subway car by that sea of commuters. One need not be especially demophobic to touch base with the panic, the overwhelming need to get out, when immobilized by the sheer mass of a crowd. Here in San Francisco we have a number of street fairs, in the course of the year, and all are generally very well-attended. As such, at some varying point in the afternoon, typically at the day's peak temperature, the notion of the Individual evaporates, and each attendee, each cell, joins together with the others, forming a mindless, overpowering beast with a singular capacity for harm. It's like being gripped by a giant, all control wrested from you as you are physically moved against your will, regard-less of which direction you wish to travel.

And that is part of what makes the story work, even some forty years later. The occasional juxtaposition of the comfortingly mundane with the unsettling and bizarre. That, and a certain timelessness - with nothing much to date it, it as easily takes place today. Granted, there are likely aspects of Weiler's job that could and would now be handled through the miracle of e-mail, and assorted other techno-wizardry; but there are still things to be done at the office, as it were, and getting from home to work is still a damned nuisance.

On a final, lesser note, Personal Taste rears its snotty head again. The reader and author will, I hope, forgive me for dragging private issues into it; however, I am enormously uncomfortable with the notion of Weiler turning so easily from his wife and child. Yes, yes, I know he doesn't have much room to bargain - either death, or fitting into a society where the joint is always jumpin', and he must make a damned good case for remaining alive. Leaving a hateful job, I understand; I am no fan of public transit, commuting, or traffic. Nevertheless, my conscience as a reader would be a bit more soothed had the protagonist demonstrated a bit more regret about leaving his (allegedly) loved-ones. A slightly unhappier ending might have struck nearer to the heart.

DO-IT-YOURSELF (written with Joe L. Hensley)

Synopsis: Middle-aged housewife Madge Rubicheck decides to spice up her life by ending that of her husband. But, as Wile E. Coyote also has yet to learn, ACME products require extra-special attention to detail and one must always read the fine print.

Comments: If I were pitching this to a mogul or two, I would have to resort to saying something along the lines of, "Roadrunner cartoon meets Alfred Hitchcock meets Charles Addams." My Warner Bros. cartoon history is a bit shaky, so I don't know which came first; but it really doesn't matter. This story is a gem, low on slapstick, high on grim, quirky elegance. I don't know why Hitchcock or Rod Serling didn't snap it up for teevee adaptation.

Honestly, "Do-It-Yourself" reminds me of so much terrific stuff: the afore-mentioned pitch, with Shirley Jackson and O. Henry into the mix. Yet, while it is reminiscent of all those elements, it is imitative of none of them. It creates sound and pictures for the reader - had it actually been produced at the time of its writing, I can think of no better cast than Jessica Tandy as Madge, Ernest Borgnine as Carl, and the redoubtable Arthur Treacher as the voice of the instruction booklet! Currently, I vote for Glenn Close, Nick Nolte, and Rowan Atkinson, respectively. But, enough about that.

Typically, in story-telling, it is important to establish some sort of positive emotional connection with the central character. But, while the reader is inclined to sympathize a bit with Madge, it also becomes abundantly clear in the course of the story that she's very likely brought the situation on herself, before she even orders the kit. At the outset, she is revealed as a rather vain, aging fussbudget, begrudging the delivery boy a thirty-cent tip, relinquishing the coin only when she can salve her conscience with the notion that, if nothing else, she's keeping up appearances. She seems to pride her-self on her orderly, methodical nature, and I cannot help but imagine that, given true, free reign, there would be plastic dust-covers on not only their sofa, chairs and end-tables, but their coffee-table, pillows, mattresses, and toilet-seats. Yet she has trouble with even the appallingly simple inst-ructions supplied by the instruction pamphlet - spilling some of the eau de rabid mongrel, missing the snarl in the Deadly Nightshade. And for one who finds such esteem in her own punctiliousness, and thinks her loutish husband so simple and transparent, shouldn't she have twigged to what that ogre was up to?

Well, yes, she should have - if she were as observant as she would like to believe. But, as Lenny Bruce used to say, "Should is a fucking lie - -it might be what oughta be, but it ain't what is." And what Madge is, is a feminine counterpart to Felix Unger, vastly more concerned with keeping up appearances, paying greater attention to the exterior, and never giving a back-ward glance to what's happening inside, what's in front of, or behind, her face. And Carl Rubicheck may indeed be a vulgar clod - but he is sufficiently self-aware to recognize his lack of facility with newfangled gadgets: he takes care of things the Old Fashioned Way.


Synopsis: Mssrs. Marmorth and Krane enter the Corridor to engage in, literally, a Battle of Ideas, learning too late the value of humility and open-minded compromise.

Comments: This is one of the stories in ELLISON WONDERLAND about which I find it difficult to find something to say; but, curse the luck, I will of course say something.

Written toward the very beginning of Harlan Ellison's career, the "furniture'' is easily apparent: a techno/psychological dueling ground, last-names-only characters, some of the syntax of the dialogue, the occasional "Confound it!", political machinations, equations and theories and blade-faced villains, even the title.

Yet, I checked and rechecked the copyright date, because the story really isn't about any of those things. They are what the author has referred to as "furniture," tools, vehicles by which the writer might explore the characters who sit on those chairs. And I believe there is quite a bit of metaphor and allegory. Written as it was, in 1956, near the author's adventures in the U.S. Army, so soon after the Korean War and the HUAC debacle, and the chilliest part of the "Cold War," "The Silver Corridor" is a plea on a number of different levels, mostly in aid of the proposition that we (Humanity) must learn to open our minds to other ideas; that we can work together; and that if we refuse to find some common ground, none of us will have a place to stand.

Can't we all just get along?

As a matter of fact, no; nor should we. If I might paraphrase Orson Welles's lines from The Third Man: "For five hundred years, under the Medicis, they had murder, terror and bloodshed, and produced Michelangelo, Leonardo Da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had two thousand years of peace and brotherly love, and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock!" Out of conflict comes, necessarily, beauty. But that conflict must arise from the same need and desire for progress, not the childish insistence on Being Right, as demonstrated by Marmorth and Krane.

The other astonishing element, as I see it, is the almost prescient use of an idea that is currently blossoming around us as "Virtual Reality." Given the parameters of the Silver Corridor, isn't it (or wouldn't it be) the next step, once we've satisfactorily unraveled the technology? Is it that far from where we are now? Couldn't this dream become reality within, say, the next fifty years, or so? Once more we might raise an example of science fiction beating a gentle path to tomorrow's reality. All because the author needed a handy device with which to address what is still a weighty concern - will we learn? Can we? Or have we only to await the appearance of that crocodile-headed, gargoyle-winged woman to tell us that not only is it too late, but that our own collective ego has rendered time irrelevant and rushed us prematurely, immaturely to our doom?


Synopsis: Richard Becker, master thespian, has gone where Stanislavski never dared dream- but can he return? And, perhaps more to the point, what is there to return to?

Comments: Did I ever tell you about my first encounter with Harlan Ellison's work? Well I was,...hmm? Oh. Right. But the story goes on! I blush to tell it, but it was almost ten years later before I ran into his work again. No, really! I have never been one to charge out and glut myself on any particular author or genre, and there were other reasons, details of which I will spare you (I pause for your breezy sigh of relief). Suffice to say that, while I had heard some rather bellicose comments both by and about Mr. Ellison, I very rarely got 'round to his work.

Then, eventually, I happened across a copy of ALONE AGAINST TOMORROW, the author's fifteen-year retrospective on his work. Now, I ask you: how could even the most aloof reader stand up under such an onslaught? It wasn't a grouping of the creme de la creme, so much as a very fair look at what Mr. Ellison had been up to for the past decade and a half. All of the stories were (and remain) good, mind you, but some of them were extraordinarily powerful. And a few of them had turned up first in - ELLISON WONDERLAND.

Like this story, for instance.

This story of an actor who is such a willing slave to his craft that he (unwittingly?) sacrifices his very identity to it. In a clever bit of construc-tion, we meet Richard Becker as he assumes his first role, his first identity (that of a Bowery soak), only briefly glimpsing the nice, young man who stepped into the Salvation Army retail store. Who is he? Who was he, before? We never learn his origins. Oh, we follow him through several other identities - tortured artist, melancholy Dane, bigot, Willy Loman, Marco Polo, pimp, and "Jesse Helms," right down to that role which proves to be his undoing., Tennessee Williams' murderous religious fanatic - but we never, ever get to see Richard Becker. Perhaps he is unfamiliar with the dynamics of that role. We never see him, only hear his tortured, frightened, lost screams, in his self--induced darkness, as he calls desperately, chillingly, "Give me some light!"

There are levels to even that seemingly-innocuous plea. As a wash-out in theater and film myself, I remember those tech rehearsals, where the cast would assemble for a run to set the lights, the cues, and sound and scene changes; and I remember finding myself in a dim corner of the stage where the action had directed me; and I remember calling, "Gimme, some light, Harry." Not with such desperation as Richard Becker; but likely with the same intent. With the author's note that it is metaphor (as heard in Oedipus Rex), "Give me some light!" reads as: "Let me understand! Let me know! Let in the light [of Reason]!" What I hear in that desperate plea is: "I need to be seen, I need to be noticed, I need to find my way!" And, simply, it just boils down to a case of I need.

And what Richard Becker needs is Richard Becker. But all that exists of him, now, is a name. And a lonely, lost terrified shriek from some hidden, padded cell.

You can and should be who you want to be. But always, always remember who you are. Or you, too, might find yourself pleading "Give me some light!" where there is none.


Synopsis: Smitty ain't a bad kid, just a little impatient. All he wants is a shot at the track-and-field team - but to do that, he's got to run faster than anyone else. And he is a little impatient, otherwise he would have wished for a more competent gnome.

Comments: Another fun notion from the fine folks at the Be Careful What You wish For Dept. Strictly for grins, and plenty of them. I frankly don't know what else there is to say about "Gnomebody," except To wonder where the author picked up that snappy, yet tragically out-of-date jive talk. It's wild and wonderful, yes, and sparkles in your mind's ear - but even in 1956 (when this yarn was spun), the lingo had serious whiskers. The sort of stuff Samuel Z. Arkoff and the loveable hooligans at American-International Pictures put into the mouths of babes, so we would all know how young, fresh and hip they were. I mean, "Daddy-o?" "Diz?" "Laddy-buck?" I think I heard .Satchmo say "Reet!" on one of his recor-dings from some time in the early 1930s, but since then? Nix-nein-Frankenstein!

Which is all in aid of very capably demonstrating just how big a mistake this gnome is. Whatever his faults, though, he is an honest gnome, laying it right on the line for Smitty, staunchly insisting that, rather than getting what he pays for, Smitty is gonna pay for what he gets.

And I could go into a lengthy sermon about delayed gratification that would send all of us running for the door and into the insidious clutches of Scient-ology, or Urantia, or Primal Scream Therapy. "Gnomebody" is just a fun little story: nothing more nor less.

And, of course, there's always the bright side: in his ultimate physical configuration, it is at least possible that Smitty will be very popular with the girls...


Synopsis: Beautiful, terrible, ancient and wise, an extraterrestrial race has come to our little corner of the universe, only to fall to their deaths in Earth's atmosphere. And if you think that's disheartening, wait until you hear the reason why....

Comments: If you've been following along in your book, you have, perhaps, perceived a certain deliberation in ELLISON WONDERLAND's design. Or structure. The ordering of the stories. It's a bit like a roller-coaster. Often, the form is to begin with a sensational grabber, peak in the middle or thereabouts, and polish off the book with a glowing coup d' gras. ELLISON WONDERLAND does that, yet, as with so much of the author's work, seems less inclined to razzle-dazzle. So this one might catch you emotionally unaware.

"Commuter's Problem" is a rather light-hearted aliens-among-us suspense story; "Do-It-Yourself," sparkling black techno-comedy; "The Silver Corridor" a sober statement about the ideas upon which we can agree, and where individual philosophies meet; "All the Sounds of Fear" sparks our compassion, giving us a chilling look at the ultimate identity-crisis; and "Gnomebody," a merry jaunt to, in essence, "one of those shops," Mr. Rod Serling, proprietor.

And, now, we have "The Sky Is Burning." Later in this volume, the author introduces a tale, citing a message which is met with almost universal editorial enthusiasm: You ain't as hot an item as you think, Chollie! The same could be said for this story, because it really knocks the pins from under much other work in the genre. Pick a story you like, short or novel--length - the most shiny and heroic. All those great adventures in space, all that boldly-going. All that "triumph of the human spirit," yadda-yadda. Now, add Ithk and his people into the mix, as they occasionally glance in our direction while we fart around our solar system and grope blindly through our own galaxy - they watch us much the same way that Jose Canseco watches Pee-Wee Baseball players. The way we watch ants.

Our solar system, our planet - this is where the lemmings land. Where the gods go to die (and don't we do-in enough of them anyway). And however far we might travel, we will never really catch them up. Gather, for a moment, all your heroes, all your idols, all your ideals. You meet them and/or examine them, but are you ever really a part of them? Equal to them? Or are the things you want so far beyond you that all you can look forward to is, perhaps, waving to Mel Gibson as he strides into the film's premier, waving and smiling, yes, but still passing you by? No matter how many others we find in the universe, we are, and will remain, alone.

Devastating. Heartbreaking. However much we jolly each other along, how-ever much we want for each other and ourselves, all we have are each other and ourselves. And that is, I think, the sweetie that covers the bitter pill: we have each other. Here, at the bottom of the cosmic cliff, we can warm each other against the cold loneliness. If we can't do that, maybe we should use our radios for bath-brushes.

And that's what I think. Is that what Mr. Ellison thinks? I dunno. I think he's telling us a really terrific story, which is as personal as it must have been in 1958, and I'm only telling you where it skewers me. And it might be a mistake to pay me much mind. Because, as the saying goes, "1,000,000 lemmings can't be wrong."


Synopsis: This evening's debate, on "The Nobility of Man." On the left, Mr. Kradter, in support of the proposition that Man must teach and nurture the sad, backward, savage beings we are sure to find in the course of our conquest of the cosmos. On the right, Mr. Dembois, who will discourse in favor of the immediate exter-mination of those beings before they can do the same to us. Our moderator this evening is Captain Calk, of the Catalog Ship, Circe. The closing argument will be delivered by...

Comments: "Bluntly put, the following story has truly been used." Mr. Ellison's words, taken from his comments on the story. The copyright date sets it at 1958, but it goes farther back than that. Appearing originally in the Ohio State Sundial, it reappeared in E.C. comics' "Weird Science-Fantasy" as "Upheaval," as "Green Odyssey" in the author's amateur sf magazine, Dimensions, and as a full short story in Space Travel Magazine, and never the same way twice. But wait! There's more! Performance rights were purchased by people planning the resurrec-tion of the radio program Dimension X, even though neither the story nor the program ever made it to the airwaves. And so on.

Although somewhat dated by the "furniture," "Mealtime" is still uniquely a Harlan Ellison story. From whom else might there come a story containing a square-jawed, stoic captain; a strapping doer of good deeds who is not above using his fists on evil no-goodniks; and a spoiled, weasely bigot - the latter two of whom fill the lonely hours by arguing over Man's Duty and Place In the Universe? Who else would dare disillusion us, using the tools of the genre (which tools were even then getting a little dull and rusty), regarding Humanity's notion that we are the ne plus ultra, the Alpha and the Omega of universal form and intellect? Who is that cackling that we got no clothes?

It's that guy again, that "Man On the Mushroom, not asking, this time, but telling us "Who farted!" According to the author, "What I remember is that the basic tenet of this story - You ain't as hot an item as you think, Chollie! - -has appealed to every editor who has seen it." I can certainly understand the reason for that. Above and beyond the fact that it's a fun story that takes us down a peg or two, it also plays on our sense of mystery in that we must ask ourselves what we don't know. What if all these Laws of Science are strictly a product of our limited perception? What if things are only impossible because we don't know how to do them, might never know how? A whole set of extra What-Ifs. And, often as not, the questions might be more involving than any of the answers.


Synopsis: Glimpsing the End of Everything, due Thursday, two weeks hence, Arthur Fulbright finally reaches out for the one thing he's most missed in life - an ultimate intimacy.

Comments: As noted, there are stories in ELLISON WONDERLAND that send me scurrying for the copyright page - this is one of them. For some reason, I cannot resign myself to the knowledge, the certainty, that this story was written in 1958. Well, it appeared in '58; it might have been written even earlier, which only further deranges me. At the ripe old age of 24 (or 23), Harlan Ellison wrote an astonishingly warm, mature story, with a brief mention of precognition, as a sop, almost, to the genre. There is some action (if you'll pardon double entendre, regarding the end of the story), reflection, contemplation; yet the protagonist doesn't change, has in fact changed before the story's beginning, thereby precipitating the story.

There seems, to me, to be something of J. Alfred Prufrock in meek, mild Arthur Fulbright. As such, the story reads, almost, as a tone poem inciting in the reader feelings of wistfulness, empty spots, those emotional/experiential pockets left unfilled, thanks to the timidity, procrastination or casual neglect that typically thwart the capture of our dreams.

This is a beautiful, tender and brilliant story. If there is a sermon or a message in it, I think it is this: It doesn't really matter. Love is in here and out there, and sex is a non-compulsory part of it, and if we can get the in-here and out-there together, join them in an ongoing form of reverse mitosis, person-to-person, one at a time if necessary, things will be okay and, yes, the world, the universe, will end and it really won't matter, because we have loved, lived, and as the Poet said, "'Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all."

Sometimes, being so cool and intellectual, I am sure that all of that, each word of that entirely-too-long sentence, is eye-wash - not for nothing am I in therapy for chronic depression. Then, sometimes, I run into a story like this. And I dare to dream again. Dare to hope. And another day insinuates itself between me and the slab. For that, thank God, a certain Jewish kid from Ohio has much to answer.


Synopsis: War may be hell, but it is also big business. And for Second Lieutenants Bill Donnough and Wayne Massaro, it's business-as-usual.

Comments: Written in 1958, while Mr. Ellison had "the Duty"at Ft. Knox, Kentucky, I find this story a little funny, in a very disturbing way.

I hate, just hate, to make these pesky pop-culture/media associations, but I am possessed by devils. Help me. Meanwhile: have you seen that Warner Bros. cartoon? The one with the sheepdog and the wolf ? You know the one I mean: they pound each other, with the wolf getting most of the damage, as usual. But what sets it apart are the breaks. At the beginning, they're warm and toasty in their respective beds, their alarms go off, they shave, brush their teeth, greet each other at the time-clock - "Mornin', Ed." "Mornin', Ralph." When the whistle blows, they open fire. Later, another whistle blows: they stop, sit down, break out the sandwiches, coffee and donuts. Lunch over, they go back to the cliff, resume the position, and *WHAM!* At the end, the sheepdog is about to administer the coup d' gras and the whistle blows. They pack up, punch out and head for home. "Nice work today." "Thanks - see you tomorrow...."

Those pauses make the cartoon, for me, and I riot whenever I see it. And I seize upon it, when contemplating this story. It is, in essence, precisely what this story is about: Nothing personal, just business. Come to think of it, that seems to be the Mob's business slogan, too. That's what war is becoming; what it might already be, given our adven-tures with Iraq, the past few years. It could happen, yes-indeedy-doo. Consider the sad fad for depersonalization currently rampant in our society - how great a leap is it from science fiction to global fact? One measly step; a step in the wrong direction.

Amid epic action scenes, the author hints at how easily the battle can overflow the field. And I can find no mention of what the battle is for or about(as if that matters); it is simply a war between Black and White, reducing its participants, in form and lethal function, to chessmen. Soldiers and their wives get together for dinner, old chums from their college days. Massaro, the fresher of the two, has doubts about theory and practice. The next day, they report for duty, and we find that they are on different sides; and, at the end of the day, Donnough must find some other dinner companions for the coming weekend. It is never spoken, never really implied, but I can't shake the notion that the young lieutenant who was so shocked by the seasoned vet's revelation at the story's opening was, in fact, Wayne Massaro, later obliterated by his old frat brother with-out a backward glance.

All of which I find deeply disturbing and utterly possible. You are quite welcome to proselytize all you wish about how much smarter we are than that; I will only respond that you are full of donkey turds, and direct your glance to Richard Nixon (all two terms of him), Ronald Reagan (all three terms of him, if you count George Bush), and how we never got around to calling Lyndon B. Johnson to account for our involvement in a war (peace-keeping mission, my ass) that went on, as you may or may not know, for many years before the U.S. involved itself, and long after it was apparent that we weren't accomplishing anything noble by being there.

"Battlefield", approaching its 40th year, is still frightening, still infuriating. And should be.


Synopsis: Mastery of the thespian arts requires not only intelligence and skill, but imagination as well. Maxim Hirt's tragic lack of all these qualities is his undoing in both arenas and takes him, literally, from the frying pan, into the fire.

Comments: What is there to be said about a deal with the Old Original Wild Card himself? Well, not the original, actually - He of the Horns and Tail has sort of franchised the business out to underlings, similar to how you'll never catch Dave Thomas (Wendy's dad) in a fast food kitchen/lab. No, more along the lines of King Lear or Vito Corleone or Amway distributors.

So there is the matter of the Field Rep., one Skidoop, who is, I must say, one hip demon. Maybe I contradict myself from earlier in this session, but Skidoop makes the talk work, and I tell you that straight; amazing and mysterious, but it looks like demons got it and gnomes do not. Maybe the beatniks had something that the old-school jazzbo-types let fade?

But that's another argument for another (much later) time. Another story strictly for grins, specifically intended to let the genre breathe and stretch and not take itself so goddamn seriously, given as we occasionally are to pondering weighty issues.

The soul, for instance. Mr. Ellison handles that matter sweetly, neatly and solidly in line with the story. He may be indicating his own thoughts on the matter, but that's his gig (Help! I am trapped in argot and vernacular! Happens when I read Damon Runyan, too....)

If imagination is coin of the realm, though, I'd hate to think that our Skidoop was working on commission - too many customers like Maxie Hirt would have him shoveling coals, just to feed the wife and imps. But think what a guy like Harlan Ellison would bring! (I hope Mr. Ellison has been reading all his contracts carefully.,...)

And it's hard to feel too sorry for Max -- I mean, anyone who would think of listing baked beans on the menu of their last meal, devil or no devil, deserves exactly what they get.


Synopsis: Lured away by his own curiosity, furry, green Wummel of the Ruskind is captured and whisked far from kith and kin by human explorers. In short order, the humans learn a lesson that Wummel would have done well to remember himself.

Comments: I have no way to tell how it was received at its appearance in 1956, but "The Wind Beyond The Mountains" remains a beautiful, touching, haunting story. It paints gorgeous alien landscapes (I can feature Max Ernst illustrating it mag-nificently or perhaps Leo and Diane Dillon; just a note, for when Dream Corridor hits the presses again), while still planting the reader firmly in his/her own heart and head (and who knows where is fancy bred?).

Wummel has green fur and triple-jointed limbs, and is, ... well, hard to explain, except to say that he is utterly a part of his world. Not merely his people, but the whole of their planet, which they call Ruska - a sentient cell in his societal organism, so to speak. Wummel's people, in a fashion, exemplify what some consider Mr. Ellison's most important message: You are not alone. As he says in his prefatory remarks, "And from these peregrinations has come the belief that not only is home where the heart is, but the heart is undeniably where the home is."

Which, unfortunately, is my cue to overanalyze - but all I can do, as a reviewer, is to tell you where and how the stories touch me and the meanings I find.

I write this review during the Dratted Holiday Season, between Thanks-giving and the New Year; and though it isn't my first X-mas/Chanukah away from home, it is my first such season so far away. With most of my family, it's historically dreadful; but I spent the holidays, (before my relocation)with Mom, and mingled with the relations, and even got to meet my long-lost (half) brother, Robbie. All in all, it was the most terrific Christmas I'd had in, probably, twenty years.

Which is kind of a cheat, really: finally feeling that I wasn't a stranger, or a guest in the presence of a mob I had known my entire life; right before I moved 1,500 miles away. Dirty pool!, I cried, Damnation and Faust! Except that heart is where the home is; and if I keep those emotional photographs in the wallet of my heart, then I always have them handy. I have, for various reasons, neither seen nor heard from Brett or Mike or Althea or Lainie for (god!) between five and sixteen years - do I love them any less? No. Is Xavier any less my friend for the intervening decade? I should say not. Never again on this Earth will I so much as clap eyes on Adam Roarke, or Melinda Ritter, or Carson and Inez, or Emmet Goff, and Sweet Jesus, how I miss having them handy for their embrace, their words of encouragement, and I do feel their absence - but not entirely, not so long as I keep these little snapshots handy. That I do not have them chained up in my cellar does not mean that I don't have them - and those snapshots and artist's-renderings often do much toward getting me through.

So I may be missing the mark entirely, here, but I believe Wummel pities his unwitting executioners, not because of their unquenchable need to keep moving, but because they don't truly realize where their home is. And it is pitiable, how we take such things for granted. Heart is where the home is and home is where the heart is, and if Wummel could have worked all the way through that, perhaps he would have seen his beloved Ruska again.

Now - tell me where is fancy bred: In the heart? Or in the head?


Synopsis: After laboring fifteen years in the development of the miraculous vid-bot, Walkaway, and more in the attempt to retain control of his creation, Leon Packett strikes a blow for individuality and freedom of choice - sowing the seeds of bureaucracy's undoing,... and a little more besides.

Comments: At this collection's original publication, this space was occupied by another story, the equally fine "Are You Listening?" This, however, is the 1984 Bluejay edition and, since they were about to unleash a reprint of another of Mr. Ellison's works, which volume also contained that story, the author thought it only fair to try to give us fair value for our reading dollar by substituting this story. We've lost nothing by the exchange, I assure you, only gained another look at an older story not as widely available.

And a nifty little story it is, too! The classic bones bear all-too-current flesh - bitter, reclusive scientist creates a handy robot, suitable for a combination of space exploration and on-the-scene reportage, which is later wrested from his control by Big Business and the government (if that is not too redundant a series of words).

It's quite a kicker now, as it must have been when it first appeared in 1958, in the pages of Fantastic Universe magazine. If anyone out there who hasn't read this one expects a sweet little homily that adheres strictly to kindly Dr. Asimov's Laws of Robotics, I fear you may be disappointed. "Back to the Drawing Boards" is a more "creator-friendly" telling of a future Frankenstein. It still quite capably comments on Humanity's foibles, yes; but rather less gently than any of the Good Doctor's fiction.

On another note, which might be my own head working overtime, I wonder whether some of the story's tone and content might not be due to some of the author's experiences during his early career. 1 have recently had the extreme pleasure of listening to "An Hour With Harlan Ellison" (available now for a pittance, from HERC!), in which Mr. Ellison reminisces about the closing years of the pulp era. Highly recommended - and what brings it to mind here, is Mr. Ellison's remembrances of certain publishers who weren't always on the up and square when it came to paying their authors. The story of how Mr. Ellison was driven to drastic acts in order to exact his $36 payment from a certain scoundrel by the name of Scharf is only terrific, so order the tape. But I digress.

Part of what makes this story so accessible, almost forty years later, is its commentary (intended or otherwise) about holding onto our individuality, fighting for what should be coming to us, the Artist's control. And a spooky sort of justice.

The tag at the end seems a trifle dated in its cleverness - -or perhaps it's the discovery that the story is not told us by an omniscient narrator, but handed down like lore. In either case, it drives home the notion that, if we don't catch the message, and act accordingly, we might very well end up as robots. Or has that process already begun?


Synopsis: Marooned and widowed by the explosion of their ship, Tom Van Horne fights out a desperate disparate existence (with a little help from the local flora) on a distant planet that he has, perhaps erroneously, named "Hell."

Comments: Another beautiful story, and another head-spinning trip to the copyrights page. Nineteen fifty-eight? Are you sure? Wow. And furthermore, wow!

I know that Mr. Ellison's early years were not easy ones; I also know that, after the initial rush sometimes necessitated to make a sale, authors (of any given story) had and sometimes took the opportunity to give the story a good polish, before once again turning it loose on the reading public. Nevertheless, this is a damn good story, whether it's had a high-shine administered or not - one can always tell good breeding, and the cornerstones of this story absolutely run the rest of its elements; i.e., only a lummox could make a bad story from such beginnings, a merely good writer could do wonders,...and then there's this 23 - 24 year old kid from Ohio, and where did he learn that stuff? The emotions are not uncommon at any age, I certainly had them (have them now, in fact, as do we all) - what, I want to know, though, is how Harlan Ellison, at that tender age, how anyone.....

Oh, blow it - it doesn't matter how, the fact is he did, could, can and does express such feelings eloquently, breathing reality into a fantastic situation. Often, particularly in his early career, Mr. Ellison (like many other writers of the era) was called upon to create stories from ready-made cover-art; I suspected that this story is one of the more successful products of such inspiration, yet I am assured otherwise by the author. There is an almost surreal quality to it, at times, a dreamy tangibility. Years later, in his original introduction to Mr. Ellison's I HAVE NO MOUTH & I MUST SCREAM, Theodore Sturgeon commented on Mr. Ellison's ability to reproduce on the page similar effects to those experienced while under the influence of "psychedelic" drugs (without, by the way, ever having personally enjoyed the dubious benefits of their ingestion) - I suggest that the author's talent for such speculation goes back even further, and I shamelessly hold up this story as an example. To my knowledge, Mr. Ellison has never been marooned in the middle of an airless desert (marital adventures aside) on a remote planet; yet he creates a vivid world, with logical difficulties and sensible solutions. And he only hints at the 'hard science,' aspect sufficiently to sustain verisimilitude - a logical, reasonable possibility worthy of (and left to) further investigation by Those Who Know About Such Things.

Splendid fantastic fiction, and damned good writing to boot!


Synopsis: At the "come-hither" of the celestial and omnipotent Masters, the good people of Earth send the powerful and wily Wilson Herber and ship's captain Arnand Singh to the cold, distant reaches - where they discover that the Masters' message was less an invitation than a ring for service,...

Comments: Cigars occasionally being nothing more than tobacco-leaf tubes rolled around more, shredded tobacco leaves, "Hadj" is, I suppose, a somewhat more humorous version of "Mealtime," except that the former story precedes the latter, at least according to the copy-right dates. Which is the long (and slightly convoluted) form of: "'Hadj' reminds me of 'Mealtime;'" or vice versa. "Hadj" appeared in 1956, "Mealtime" in 1958. Phew - there. In this collection, their order is reversed. Now, having established that, I cannot remember why I felt the need to point it out.

Ah, yes - they resemble each other, in substance; that wisdom of the Old West: there's always someone can draw faster'n you, Kid. In "Mealtime," we are spat out like a kid's first taste of brussels sprouts; in "Hadj," however, we are summoned - rather like being pounced-on by some sort of cosmic press-gang, or drafted (though their message is merely "Send us a representative from Earth," I suspect there was great temptation for the author to preface it with "Greetings - ").

All in all, "Hadj" is a darkly amusing story, and somehow more satisfying (to my tastes, at least) than "Mealtime." Even though the author points it out as a "caustic comment on the 'faithful' and their faith," there is an undeniably wise message regarding spirituality, here, very neatly initiated by Capt, Singh, a Moslem, during an exchange with Our Hero, Wilson Herber - the notion of a "hadj," or spiritual journey. The unspoken (or written) sentiment is that, if one embarks on a spiritual journey, it behooves one to do so with an open mind - and perhaps a dash of humility about it, as well.


Synopsis: Ritualized and habitual - is it wishing, or praying? Hobert Krouse finds out, and also discovers that sometimes the answers aren't always immediately apparent.

Comments: A fine and funny extrapolation, a fantastic example of the 'What If..." in its natural habitat, based in a reality with which most, particularly those of us who live in such climes where it rains, sometimes frequently, are familiar. As I write this, for instance, I live in San Francisco, California, and the rainy season is upon us, cold and damp and driving white wires through my sciatic nerve. I laugh nervously about this clever story, which is, of course, merely a fun bit of fantasy - yet never, even as I hobble, grumbling, through the icy downpour, berating myself for not having brought an umbrella, do the words of the title pass my lips.

It's not really so far-fetched. I believe it was Einstein who posited the notion that energy must go somewhere, after all, does not simply cease to be - well, what about rain? We, like Sarah Sylvia Cynthia Stout (who would not take the garbage out), can only procrastinate for so long, before things sort of back-up on us and insist that we, goddamnit, deal with them. Only so much room under the rug, y'know.

And to finish up with my trademark over-analysis of this other-wise simple and witty bit of fiction - isn't most of life like that? This is coming, of course, from one, most of whose "sins" are sins of omission. Still, we can only duck a thing for so long - eventually we have to buy higher boots and perhaps a rowboat.


Synopsis: Will Pederson, aided by his friend and companion Pretrie (a Martian follower of the blessed Jilka), discovers the value of having to face neither life nor death alone.

Comments: Perhaps it is simply a matter of where my head is, currently, but I think not. This story touches me more deeply than any other story in this very fine collection. Inspired by the general tone of Steinbeck's short work, with a dash of Clifford Simak, it is universal to us, to people, to every feeling being, and it is nothing less than beautiful. I don't have a proper bibliography for this story, have no idea where or how often it has been collected or anthologized; I can say, however, that it ranks high indeed among Mr. Ellison's work proclaiming the essential fact that "You are not alone."

More clearly than many of Mr. Ellison's stories, I believe, the science-fictional elements are truly merely furniture, stage setting for the market at hand. There is no reason other than the writer's whim why the story should take place on Mars, with a Martian, etc., etc. It could just as easily play anywhere on Earth: South America among the Amazonian aborigines; India; the Australian outback; Africa, or the Middle East; even right here in the Good Ol' U.S., with the Lone Ranger and Tonto, at the end of their Golden Years. As a matter of fact, I have it on authority that, in its original magazine appearance, the story took place on some far-flung cosmic lump, then was later restationed on Mars for inclusion in a Mars-friendly anthology.

So, the story isn't about Mars or space travel: it's about living and dying and the choices we make, choices that govern how we do both of those things. It suggests that, sometimes, the alienation we feel is of our own construction - because we are not alone, we need not be alone, and, if we are, it is through our own (perhaps unwitting) choice. To share our lives with one another is a privilege and an honor, but it is also a necessity. Reach out; take that hand; let it warm you against the cold darkness of those lonely lands.

Story Reviews by K.C. Locke
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